Ch.155Chapter 155: A Long, Long Day (6)

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The busy schedule that had kept my mind occupied until lunchtime continued even after I finished eating.

Fortunately, no more headache-inducing matters like the inheritance of the family head position arose, so my mind didn’t become any more complicated.

As a student of the Cradle who no longer had reason to stay here after the end of the Subjugation Festival,

I needed to prepare to leave Night Haven, so my body remained busy.

Normally, using the excuse that Cradle students could leave the fortress anytime after the Subjugation Festival ended,

I had planned to do nothing today but lounge around and slowly recover from the fatigue accumulated during yesterday’s fierce battle.

However, thanks to the Crimson Dragon Armor I wore to assist Professor Grace, who unexpectedly visited to expedite the restoration of the barrier for great magical beasts damaged during the Subjugation Festival, my physical condition recovered quickly.

I felt it would be a waste to spend time resting meaninglessly,

And after the successful conclusion of the major event that was the Subjugation Festival, I couldn’t take lightly the family matter of the head’s inheritance that I had encountered.

Having just heard my sister declare right in front of me that she was submitting a long-term leave request and returning to our family home tomorrow,

As her younger brother, I couldn’t push forward with my plan to do nothing and lounge around.

So I was busy preparing to leave the fortress, packing my belongings—though not many—to depart on the same day my sister would leave for her vacation.

Thanks to my experience living in this fortress as a mere mercenary before my regression,

I knew the fortress was well-stocked with daily necessities and other items needed for living, so I didn’t pack much and finished my preparations in an instant.

“Haaah…”

I let out a light sigh as I sat down at the table in the quarters assigned to me during the Subjugation Festival.

The chair at the table, despite being in a place assigned to a mere Cradle student only for the duration of the Subjugation Festival, comfortably supported my spine from my buttocks to my waist without wobbling as soon as I leaned back.

“Nnngh!!”

I lightly shook off the stiffness that came as the physical exhilaration slightly subsided with a single stretch.

Turning my gaze toward the window while seated, I saw that snow, not sunshine, was falling from the sky that had been clear until I returned to my quarters to prepare for departure.

Unlike the pure white flakes that had fallen until just before the end of the Subjugation Festival, thanks to the sky split by Lord Nighthart’s transcendent martial technique, the Heaven-Splitting Sword,

The snow falling now had a slight grayish tint, mixed with volcanic ash spewing from the peak of the Dragon Claw mountain range, which had resumed minimal eruption.

It was dingy, gloomy-colored, and not clean snow, but

Would you believe that this ashen color was the original color of snow falling in this northern region?

Even so, the ashen snow falling now was considerably cleaner compared to what fell during the height of the eruption.

“…I should choose a flame-resistant coat when going outside.”

As I continued my self-talk about what to wear when going out soon,

[This place used to have beautiful winter scenery with pure white snow. It was cold, but not endlessly frigid like now.]

Paphnir’s voice, which had been mostly silent except when I met Professor Grace this morning, calmly reached me.

His voice, accurately remembering the past climate of this land, carried a nostalgic tone that I had occasionally heard lately.

[I miss those times. The land I remember had chilly winters, but it wasn’t such a desolate place like this.]

Not just nostalgia, but

Hearing his voice filled with genuine longing for those times,

I found myself questioning whether he was truly the “Red Tyrant” described in history books and epic poems recited by minstrels, a wicked being who received everyone’s fear and hatred.

In fact, my connection with Paphnir, which began when I drew the dragon sword gifted by Director Belpheus, had been a great help to me rather than a misfortune, to an extent that couldn’t be explained if he were simply an evil being.

When I first obtained the sword and he abruptly pulled me into the misty hidden world,

I feared I might die before fulfilling the great purpose I had resolved upon after my regression.

But the longer I knew him, the more Paphnir inspired trust and respect in me, rather than fear and vague hatred.

Before my regression, when I had a body incapable of properly wielding the swift sword techniques that had evolved and established over time,

He gave me hints to execute the heavy, power-focused swordsmanship I had desperately learned to survive back then in a more plausible form.

With his harsh guidance, I was able to elevate my body, which had established a foundation through awakening regenerative abilities, to an even higher level.

Furthermore, he unhesitatingly handed me the Crimson Dragon Armor, which greatly helped in repelling the magical beasts’ offensive during the final stages of the Subjugation Festival.

The vague fear I felt when I first encountered him and realized his identity had largely dissipated,

And in its place, trust gradually filled in, to the extent that

My feelings toward Paphnir had taken on an increasingly positive hue.

However, even if he was far from the evil dragon I remembered from records,

It was undeniable that he bore responsibility for this land becoming one of the deadliest regions in the entire central continent.

‘Isn’t all this because Paphnir reduced the capital of the ancient kingdom, whose name is no longer even known, to ashes overnight?’

I mentioned the harm he had caused to this land in the most calm tone possible, considering Paphnir’s feelings as he listened.

[Ahem.]

With a fake cough that betrayed his embarrassment,

[…Would you believe me if I said it wasn’t my intention?]

Though he didn’t sound confident, as if he too felt guilty about it,

Even so, his voice revealed a desperate attempt to make excuses, suggesting he had much to say to me.

I had expected him to flare up in anger at my words,

But seeing Paphnir flustered and scrambling to make excuses rather than getting angry was something I hadn’t anticipated.

After calculating in my mind that there was no point in teasing him further,

‘I see you have your own story.’

I spoke in a calm tone, letting him know I was considering his position.

In addition to the surface reason of empathizing with his position,

I also thought this might prompt him to share the secrets we were supposed to exchange tonight, but

From Paphnir’s lips, where the feelings of embarrassment and discomfort had somewhat settled,

[Sigh…]

Paphnir let out the same sigh that had escaped me when I first reached my quarters and leaned back in the chair.

Judging by the sigh instead of an answer,

I concluded that he wouldn’t give me the answer I wanted here, so

I was about to end the conversation related to this topic, but

[Sigh…]

After letting out an even deeper sigh, Paphnir

[You know, I used to believe without a doubt that I could at least fully control my own destiny.]

Resonated in my mind with a voice tinged with rather meaningful self-mockery and lamentation.

‘…So when you said it wasn’t your intention, you meant…?’

I gently questioned to slowly draw out his true feelings.

[The tragedy that befell this land was indeed my doing. But would you believe me if I told you that I was being controlled by Desire, who’s probably just sleeping beyond those mountains?]

Paphnir’s voice echoing in my mind carried an unfathomable passion.

A deep anger toward some being who had shaken his destiny.

…I had somewhat expected this, and hearing Paphnir’s words that didn’t deviate much from my expectations,

‘At least I can tell that the passion in those words is genuine.’

I made it clear that while I didn’t unconditionally accept his words, I did accept that the emotions he was revealing, limited as they were, were genuine.

Despite building a friendship and sharing a connection with him, it had only been a brief period of barely three months.

Rather than blindly believing the words of someone I’d known for such a short time, especially words that could be interpreted as excuses for his evil deeds,

I thought it better to express limited trust in his words with conditions, as a way of understanding his heart.

And as if to confirm that my prediction wasn’t wrong,

‘That is enough.’

Paphnir, who had instantly withdrawn the passion he had been showing until just now, accepted my words in a calm voice.

Though calm, it was easy to detect the faint gratitude in his tone.

Well, despite expressing it as limited, I couldn’t help but accept it.

Considering what that being mentioned by Paphnir had done to me,

It naturally occurred to me that the same might have been done to him.

To be held captive and made a puppet by some cursed being after trying to live a clean life having done all one could,

And helplessly watching oneself commit evil acts against one’s will—that’s an agony worse than death.

And the passion I felt in Paphnir’s voice as he poured out his heart in my mind was too similar to what I had felt back then.

Listening to Paphnir’s voice mixed with passion and self-mockery, I had a kind of certainty.

That most of the secrets Paphnir held,

Which were to be exchanged tonight after being postponed from yesterday,

Would likely be related to the period when he was infamous as the Red Tyrant.

Although it was something I was going to reveal to him eventually… in the not-too-distant evening,

Now that the time had become somewhat ambiguous,

In response to Paphnir’s action of partially revealing his secret,

I felt inclined to reveal my secret to him as well.

‘I feel like what you just said is part of the secrets we agreed to exchange this evening.’

I expressed my impression after hearing his passionate confession.

[I have many other secrets, but this is all I’m going to tell you today.]

Sure enough,

Paphnir resonated in my mind, indicating that he wasn’t planning to tell me everything, and that this was all the secret he was prepared to reveal.

Feeling that it was an unequal exchange compared to the secret I was going to tell him,

‘That’s stingy. I think you have more secrets to tell me, isn’t it unfair to only share this much?’

I lightly protested, trying to extract more from him.

[Hmph, one of the secrets you hold has already been discovered by me on my own, so there’s no point in exchanging it, yet you should be grateful that I’ve personally revealed one of my secrets.]

Paphnir’s voice suddenly resonated strongly in my mind, effectively blocking my attempt.

‘….’

I couldn’t help but become speechless.

What? Lately, there had been occasional instances where Paphnir seemed to detect thoughts I was secretly harboring in my heart.

Had I unknowingly revealed to him the secret related to my return through time?

If so, when was I exposed, and exactly how much did he figure out?

Various thoughts flashed through my mind, and as anxiety began to cloud my expression without my realizing it,

[Your secret is deeply related to time.]

Paphnir’s voice, blending the incompatible qualities of playfulness and solemnity, confused my mind.

Making me harbor the question “How?” without being able to voice it.