Ch.154Into the Memory. (2)

Olivia lowered her gaze. Aurelia’s hand was gripping her collar fiercely. Come to think of it, she had always been the one grabbing others by the collar. She didn’t want anyone to look down on her.

But.

“I, I… didn’t endure all this time just to hear that kind of talk from you.”

She knew that, at this moment, she shouldn’t break free from this grip.

“I… gave up pleasure. I lived more ascetically than in any other life…! I abandoned impulses and suppressed my emotions. Do you know why I, why I did that?”

Aurelia’s arm trembled.

She deliberately didn’t speak the next words aloud. The person before her would understand this terrible pain better than anyone else.

“Damn it… fuck!”

Aurelia released her grip on the collar as if shaking it off. Instead of slapping Olivia’s cheek, she turned her gaze toward the window as if she couldn’t stand the sight. She took a swig of alcohol while letting out a sigh heavy enough to sink the ground.

Omniscience.

Of course, Aurelia didn’t possess enough knowledge to dare call herself omniscient. She simply remembered more than others and had come a little closer to the secret histories of the world.

She had reached the pinnacle of sorcery because of the countless experiences accumulated over time.

When she reached that pinnacle, Aurelia was briefly happy. She could summon ancient giant gods and open the gates of the netherworld to unleash nearly infinite souls.

But after reaching the pinnacle a second and third time, she realized.

She wasn’t happy.

No matter what she did, she wasn’t happy. Everything was boring and bland, and that fact nearly drove her mad.

Every irregularity became a rule. The current world was no longer special. She knew who would die, when, where, how, and why.

Demons would descend. Great Demons would overthrow nations. The Demon Lord and Demon God would descend, and Olivia would defeat them.

Of course, it wasn’t exactly the same every time. Kingdoms that had once fallen helplessly eventually stopped falling. The south, which couldn’t withstand the demons’ offensive for even a week, eventually drove them out with its own power.

The Empire, which had suffered considerable damage when its borders were breached, became a great nation that didn’t even allow demon invasions, and heroes who once only pursued their own interests reached the point where they could face Great Demons without Olivia’s help. These were changes Olivia had created.

But that was all.

The fact that Olivia would die carrying the remnants of the Demon God remained unchanged.

‘This is bullshit.’

How on earth had Olivia endured this? This terrible loneliness, this pain.

Aurelia instinctively took another drink. But she couldn’t taste anything. All she felt was the dull pain of poison tearing through her stomach.

Her sense of taste was broken. The desire and pleasure that had always dominated her mind were gone. She realized that even the most joyful things become nothing when repeated thousands of times.

She had lived honestly for pleasure. When she wanted something, she did it; when she wanted to buy something, she bought it.

But now.

She had reached the point where she didn’t even know what pleasure was.

She was broken. Her emotions had crumbled from ancient times, and the boundary between reality and the past had blurred. Unable to control this madness with ordinary alcohol, she drank strong liquor mixed with poisonous herbs. Because physical pain could erase mental suffering.

Aurelia took a slow, deep breath.

Until now, she had thought it presumptuous to ask, but she couldn’t hold back anymore. Now she needed to know.

“…Why the hell doesn’t that damned Demon God ever disappear?”

Olivia didn’t know the answer to that question. But she had made her own conjectures.

The Demon God was the final boss of Lactea. The moment users defeated the Demon God, they would see the ending and choose whether to stop there or start a new round to create better results.

That’s why the Demon God doesn’t disappear. More precisely, it shouldn’t disappear.

Because a game without a final boss loses its meaning.

‘…But this world is no longer a game.’

Whether it was once a game that ceased to be one, or was never one to begin with.

But that no longer mattered now.

There was no point in sharing such speculation with Aurelia, who knew nothing of the outside world. What she wanted wasn’t self-blame or apologies.

Just the truth.

“I don’t know yet.”

“…Why do the Demon God’s remnants always dwell in your soul?”

“I don’t know that either.”

Aurelia’s expression turned hollow.

“You don’t know why the Demon God keeps appearing, you don’t know how to eliminate its remnants… what exactly do you know? What’s changed since you and I first made our promise?”

Nothing. While Aurelia had experienced thousands of years, for Olivia it was a matter of mere days.

“So what? You’re saying to stop the memory succession?”

Aurelia’s face showed contempt. But Olivia’s expression was unsettling.

“You asked me to.”

“…What?”

“Your future self asked me to. You… can’t endure anymore.”

Aurelia became serious.

“W-what? Don’t talk nonsense! I…!”

“You know it too.”

A pronouncement. Aurelia’s body froze in place.

It was as Olivia had said. She was already at her limit.

– Memory succession. You can stop now.

When she first heard those words, she felt relief in a corner of her heart. The thought rose that she wouldn’t have to continue this hellish life anymore.

And the next moment, Aurelia felt deep self-loathing. Though she had grabbed Olivia by the collar, in truth, that anger was directed at herself.

“…That woman isn’t me. I, I… can do more.”

Aurelia’s voice grew progressively quieter. From the moment Olivia suggested she could stop, she had imagined she might show such an ugly side of herself.

And so it happened.

Aurelia turned her head. Not immediately. She glared at Olivia with bloodshot eyes, then shook her head and took a drink.

“…Go.”

“Aurelia-“

“I’ll stop the memory succession now! So go!”

Olivia didn’t rise. She still kept her eyes fixed on Aurelia’s back.

“Get the fuck out! I don’t want to… show this pathetic side of myself!”

If Aurelia simply didn’t transmit everything that had happened to the next cycle, the “real” Aurelia wouldn’t go mad.

Because the memories to be succeeded would be lost.

Despite achieving her goal, Olivia had no intention of leaving.

Was she afraid Aurelia might continue the memory succession? No. Though proud, she was someone who kept her word once spoken. She wouldn’t transmit what had happened to the next cycle.

Just.

She felt this couldn’t end like this.

Instead of going outside the cabin, Olivia took a step toward Aurelia.

“In the next cycle, we can end it.”

“…”

Olivia’s voice trembled slightly at first. But soon it was filled with confidence and certainty.

The reason the Demon God appears? A way to permanently eliminate the Demon God’s remnants? Why those remnants specifically dwell in her body?

She didn’t know. Even “Olivia,” who had repeated her life thousands of times, hadn’t figured it out.

But still, the reason confidence filled her was simple.

Unlike “Olivia,” she never had a “next” to begin with.

So, even if it might be a lie, she needed to have confidence. She had to.

Aurelia spoke mockingly.

“…After failing to discover even a fragment all this time, what do you think will change by trying once more?”

Olivia swallowed her words. It wasn’t that she was at a loss for words. She was giving Aurelia a moment to calm down.

“Because this time, I won’t pass it on to the ‘next’ anymore.”

“What?”

“So it’s different.”

“…Ha.”

Aurelia’s eyebrow twitched.

‘…’

It had been so long since she’d faced those eyes. Although she hadn’t defeated the Demon God in this life yet, regardless of that, Olivia’s eyes had always been faded at some point.

Others wouldn’t know this even if they died and came back, but she, who shared the “secret,” could perceive that subtle difference.

But now it was different.

Those blue eyes contained brilliance. The brilliant certainty that had disappeared for thousands of years, that she had truly missed.

‘…When was it?’

When they first started this damned promise. Olivia had worn the exact same expression then. Although she had threatened her by mentioning her life, Aurelia still cherished that memory as one she shouldn’t forget.

– I’ll keep defeating it for you. A hundred times, five hundred times.

Back then, she had just laughed it off. It wasn’t an ordinary monster, but the Demon God—to kill it five hundred times? But Olivia had actually made it happen. No, she had far exceeded it.

Just the number of times she remembered had far surpassed five hundred.

“…Are you sure about not passing it on to the next anymore?”

“I’m sure.”

“You’re not lying because you know I’m stopping the memory succession?”

“If you don’t believe me, I’ll swear on mana.”

Before Aurelia could say anything, Olivia recited an oath against her own heart. Blue chains bound Olivia’s heart.

“You…”

“So, you can stop now.”

“…Ha.”

Aurelia chuckled. She stared blankly at the window, then slowly turned around. Olivia saw a slight light enter Aurelia’s eyes.

“You idiot.”

As she said this, Aurelia’s lips curved into a smile.