Ch.149Chapter 149. Pain is the Foundation of Growth
by fnovelpia
I hear a ringing in my ears.
I felt as if thousands of cicadas were eating away at my brain, a whiteness filling my head with a sense of distance.
The sensation in my feet touching the ground disappeared, and everything I felt seemed to float away…
Like being thrown into the middle of space, a feeling that no matter what I did, it would be meaningless.
“…Why.”
Why indeed?
Despite all my efforts, despite finally grasping power worthy of the title of Hero.
Why am I now feeling so powerless before the Crown Prince who looks down at me?
“Why are you keeping me alive?”
Yes, I couldn’t help but be afraid.
Despite believing I could accept anything with detachment, I had no idea how to respond in this moment.
“Keeping you alive? What a strange question.”
To my labored inquiry, he quietly answered.
“I’m merely curious. How is it that a servant who should absolutely obey me began harboring thoughts of betrayal after meeting you…”
Is that why he arranged this private meeting with me?
That my existence interferes with his plans.
Though I might resist, he wouldn’t hesitate to execute me, knowing I wouldn’t be able to handle the consequences and would remain still.
“But you seem to be struggling even to answer my question now.”
From this position, the Crown Prince pressed me again as I remained silent.
As if he could see through my mind and precisely identify the cause of my current confusion.
“Is it simply because you didn’t expect things to turn out this way?”
Of course I couldn’t have expected it.
That a chance meeting would lead to treason against the Empire, and that he would realize I was the cause…
And if all this were truly the case, my existence, which creates traitors, would be seen as more dangerous than the traitors themselves.
“…No, what you’re feeling now isn’t just that.”
But that’s only a small part of the confusion I’m feeling now.
The weight I feel in this moment doesn’t come from the gaze of the individual looking down at me, but from something beyond that.
“Are you afraid of what I might do next, after showing you power that defies common sense?”
-Snap!
His finger snapped, and countless duplicates multiplied around us.
A crowd filled the surroundings, casually swallowing the headless corpse on the floor, and their gazes began to focus solely on me.
Too many gazes to be from just one person.
The man I knew was merely one of the duplicates created by this being.
The truth about the man who secretly hoped for revolution, though he couldn’t participate, was that he was no different from the countless puppets existing before me now.
“Are you afraid that the common sense you’ve believed in is crumbling, and that this will continue to happen?”
That was the kind of being he was.
A being who could casually mass-produce others with the same power and influence.
A being who had paid sacrifices and prices incomparable to outsiders like me to awaken that power.
And perhaps, a being who might have something behind him that I could never approach.
“Are you afraid of what awaits if you resist the current situation, something you cannot handle?”
Yes, this isn’t the end.
Even if I leave this Crown Prince’s side, there will surely be something more.
My experience so far has taught me that.
Whenever I left one well, a bigger world awaited; and beyond the fence surrounding that world, an environment called the demon realm awaited me.
“…I, I…”
Feeling the source of such powerlessness in this moment, combined with all my past experiences, I felt my will to resist fading.
Because I sensed that no matter how much I ran, the achievements I grasped would seem insignificant, and this would repeat countless times in the future.
“If you can’t grasp the situation well, I’d like you to answer just one thing clearly.”
As if seeing through my psychology completely, the Crown Prince who asked the question quietly raised the sword in his hand and pointed it at me.
He pointed the blood-stained sword—blood from beheading his own duplicate—at a weakling who couldn’t even muster the will to resist him.
“Are you my enemy?”
“…Enemy?”
“Whatever relationship you had with my duplicate, whatever thoughts you harbored, whatever you aimed to achieve through his sacrifice—I won’t ask about that. What I want from you here is to put aside grand causes, beliefs, justice, good and evil… and simply tell me how you will deal with me as a being.”
Just make one thing clear.
The gazes urging me to answer narrowed slightly, and once again the question came from his lips.
“Are you an enemy of the Empire, or an ally?”
Apart from the servant who betrayed him, he just wants to clearly distinguish friend from foe.
Is it because there might be room for leniency if I didn’t encourage betrayal?
Or does he think I’ve become too influential to simply discard, so he’s giving me a chance?
“I, I…”
I don’t know.
I couldn’t understand anything.
What the person before me was thinking, what he knew, and what awaited beyond this suffocating situation.
Why his duplicate pushed me into this situation…
‘You told me this. That you’re neither on the Empire’s side, nor on my side.’
Yes, that guy.
Though just a duplicate, he clearly had his own consciousness and will.
His final words, understanding the person before me better than I do, must have been made with this moment in mind.
‘That’s enough. If you’ve come this far without becoming a Hero… just by stubbornly walking that path, you can fulfill my wish.’
And he said.
That I didn’t need to think too hard.
That he was just giving me an opportunity, and I just needed to seize it and continue as before.
“…I don’t know.”
If that applies to this moment as well.
Then the answer I should give is already determined.
“…Hero Hyoseong Woo.”
“I don’t know anything.”
“I demanded a clear answer from you. Whether you’re my enemy or ally, tell me clearly.”
“I’ve just been running, wanting to live.”
This was the best answer I could think of.
I, who can barely take care of myself and those around me, couldn’t possibly oppose the Empire, the only paradise and massive power.
Nor could I prove genuine loyalty to the person before me.
Declaring myself an ally under this pressure would be like losing myself.
“I’ve been running, wanting to live like a human being even in this world. I just want to live… I’ve focused only on protecting myself and what I hold dear.”
So I wanted to honestly express what I felt now.
Regardless of the truth he showed, the fate of the world, the political situation of the Empire, what justice is, or what good and evil are.
“…I just want to live like a human being.”
I wanted to make it clear that all of those things were too distant for me, ‘just a human.’
“That’s all I seek.”
I wanted to express that despite climbing to the highest heights a human could reach, to the point of having a private audience with someone at the pinnacle of humanity, I was still not satisfied with my achievements.
“So, Your Highness, please calm your anger. I have… absolutely no reason to oppose you.”
The moment I spoke those powerless words, I realized.
No matter how much I become a Hero, no matter how desperately I try.
Before an incomprehensible power, I’m still just a weak human who can only tremble.
“Please, don’t test me any further…”
So I hope he won’t force upon me more than I can handle.
I hope he’ll let me focus only on the goals before me. I hope he won’t take away my will to move forward by bringing up things I can’t understand…
I hope he won’t take away hope by suggesting that even such struggles are meaningless.
“…Living like a human being, is that all you desire?”
Orion Seis withdrew his sword from me the moment I honestly revealed my fear.
Then with a snap of his fingers, all the duplicates around us disappeared, leaving the audience hall empty once more.
“Yes, what you’ve shown now is perhaps the most ideal attitude for a human to have. Focusing only on what’s right in front of you, living while ignoring everything else you can’t understand…”
As the fallen corpse and blood drops on the sword disappeared as if they were never there.
He let go of even the sword and began approaching me, who had lowered my head, one step at a time.
“…Because you’re such a weak human, in these chaotic times, you instinctively crave to be subordinate to someone.”
-Step, step.
Footsteps clearer than my heartbeat.
At the end, Crown Prince Seis brought his lips to my ear and began whispering while patting my shoulder.
“I hope you maintain this attitude in the future.”
A trivial gesture and a light weight.
“If you stubbornly continue on this path, you’ll be able to provide a way to save more people in the coming age of emptiness…”
And with a voice identical to the one I’d heard before, he spoke words whose meaning I couldn’t understand now.
*****
“Hyoseong!”
How much time had passed since then?
When I came to my senses, I realized I was standing in front of a familiar house and entrance.
That’s right, after the audience ended, he ordered me to return home.
He said there would be a grand appointment ceremony and rewards later, and asked me to wait until then.
“…Hyoseong.”
What I faced at the end was a woman in pajamas who had hurriedly come to the entrance, looking at me with concern.
Her disheveled hair showed that she had come here urgently, without time to prepare.
“Are you… alright?”
The deep concern she expressed was not so much about my absence from home for over ten days without a word, but rather seemed to come from a vague understanding of what I had been through.
Right, she’s a prophet. Not only can she prophesy the future, but she can also understand what someone has experienced.
“Let’s go inside and rest first. Don’t think about anything now…”
-Grab.
The moment I saw someone worrying about me like this, I couldn’t suppress the impulse rising in my heart and embraced her.
Because I realized.
If I collapse here, I won’t be able to protect the person by my side.
“…Hyoseong.”
“I’ll become stronger.”
It’s not enough.
With what I’ve achieved now, I can’t protect this person in my arms.
“I’ll become stronger. Even more than now.”
It’s not just Irie.
To protect Merilyn, Tashian, Vivian, and everyone else who cares for me…
No matter what awaits, if I want to be prepared for anything.
“I’ll become strong enough to protect everyone.”
To achieve the ‘freedom’ to fulfill what I desire even in this harsh world, I shouldn’t be satisfied with where I am now.
As that feeling grew stronger, the strength in my grip increased, and I felt myself embracing her more tightly.
As if she too had made up her mind to pursue what I’m seeking now…
****
Late at night after the meeting in the audience hall.
After finishing his daily governance duties, Seis left the imperial palace and headed to a separate building connected to it.
Despite being a separate building, numerous troops were deployed around it.
This indicated that the resident had considerable authority, yet they couldn’t control even the Crown Prince’s movements.
“Everyone, clear the way.”
The soldiers quietly opened the path as he spoke. When he reached the entrance after crossing the garden, Seis gestured to his guard knights to withdraw.
They obeyed without question because entry was strictly limited to the imperial family and their attendants.
“Ah, Your Highness.”
“…How is His Majesty’s condition?”
“Well, his condition is not good.”
The maid’s empty eyes turned toward an old man lying in the bedroom as she expressed her concern.
He seemed to be sleeping yet his eyes were open, unfocused… literally just breathing.
“It pains my heart to see him deteriorating day by day.”
Ignoring the sniffling maid, Seis quietly placed his hand on his father’s neck.
A slow pulse felt through the emaciated skin.
And between them, two small holes.
“…Was it really necessary to suck his blood?”
“What are you saying…”
“Even without doing this, you already knew father wouldn’t resist, didn’t you?”
Crown Prince Seis turned to the maid with disgust.
The maid who met his gaze shrank for a moment as if troubled, then burst into laughter.
“Even if he can’t resist, what can I do? This is the role I’ve been assigned.”
With a smile revealing fangs, the maid dissolved the illusion surrounding her body.
The revealed snow-white skin and white long hair, combined with the deliberately exposed chest for her role as a night attendant, intensified her charm that stirred desire.
“To needlessly coax a servant who has already lost the will to resist and surrendered, and to accept old, smelly blood far from pure into my body… it’s too painful for someone born with noble blood like me.”
“…You seem to be enjoying it quite a bit, Scheherazade.”
Crown Prince Seis spoke indifferently despite facing such an attractive woman.
Feeling shame from the contempt in his indifference, she suppressed her shivering body and quietly smiled.
“Of course it’s enjoyable. Pain is the foundation of growth, after all.”
Yes, present here was one of the leaders of the vampires who ruled as the real power in the Empire.
Despite her noble status, she was someone who genuinely enjoyed pretending to be a subordinate.
“Taking on a task everyone else refuses and sacrificing myself… isn’t it natural for someone of noble birth like me to accept it gladly?”
True Ancestor Scheherazade.
This eccentric vampire who called herself an ascetic held the aesthetic belief that asceticism was most necessary for the noble.
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