Ch.146146. Snow in Midsummer (3)

“Well, that’s done.”

“…Thank you.”

The treatment ended in an instant. Isis wiped away imaginary sweat and lifted her head. Marianne looked down at her now-healed body and then raised her head again. She still seemed unsure of how to behave around the saint. Seeing Marianne’s expression, Isis deliberately chose not to engage her in conversation.

“Is Daphne alright? I can cast a spell on her if you’d like.”

“No… She’ll be fine if she rests without using magic for a while. It’s just simple mana depletion.”

“Still, just to be safe. Excuse me for a moment.”

Isis gently took Daphne’s hand and closed her eyes. After a golden energy passed through, Isis removed her hand and nodded with a smile.

“You’re right. There’s no major issue. She’ll be fine as long as she doesn’t use any strenuous magic.”

Daphne glanced at me. Her purple eyes pierced me sharply. At the same time, Isis and Marianne’s gazes turned toward me.

“Thank you. And… I’m sorry, but could you please examine that person as well?”

“I’m perfectly fine though.”

Of course, my words were ignored as if they were completely unreasonable. Isis pulled over another chair, turned it to face me, and sat down. Her once-glossy blonde hair now looked dry. Her eyes were drowning in fatigue, and her clothes resembled those of any medical officer. Having abandoned her saint’s attire, Isis looked more like a saint than ever.

“The others…”

“I’ve already treated everyone else before coming here. I even stopped by George upstairs, so it would be better for you to quietly submit to my examination.”

Isis’s hand—or rather, what might better be called a grip—firmly clasped my shoulder. She seemed like someone with no connection to combat or martial arts, yet the strength with which she gripped my shoulder was much stronger than I’d expected. Well, even if she was just medical support, she had been through two battles with Calamities, so it would be stranger if she weren’t strong.

“Stop rolling your eyes and look at me. And don’t try to summon your mana.”

“Your language is harsh? This isn’t an interrogation or anything.”

Is this trait something she shares with Bishop Andre? Isis held both my cheeks, making it impossible for me to move, and slowly released her holy magic. The process felt completely comfortable without any strain.

“Just accept it. I can sense even the slightest leakage of mana.”

I had no choice. Unable to resist Isis’s firm gaze and voice, I relaxed. Slowly and gently, like a spreading fragrance. The golden holy magic, like mist, entered my body. Starting from my head, then to my neck, shoulders, and all extremities. As she examined my body, Isis’s face hardened. Looking up at her blue eyes, they were telling me:

‘What on earth happened to you?’

Instead of answering with my eyes, I smiled and said:

“How is it? I’m fine, right?”

With an unspoken request to go along with it for now.

“…Yes. You seem to be. You don’t appear to need any treatment.”

Isis seemed to be trying her best not to show her concern. Perhaps aware that her pupils were trembling, she kept blinking to compose her expression.

“Everyone else is so injured, but I wonder if it’s okay for you to be this unharmed.”

“I didn’t participate in the battle from the beginning. It’s possible to be this fine.”

I shrugged as I spoke, but Isis’s expression didn’t match our light conversation at all. She forced something resembling a smile by moving her stiff lips.

“Still, be careful. There’s no guarantee you’ll always be this robust.”

“…I’ll keep that in mind.”

With that final admonition, the saint’s expression returned to her usual resolute gentleness. Glancing at Isis and Daphne’s expressions, I could see that while suspicion remained, there was also a hint of relief. Isis removed her hands from my cheeks and stood up.

“Let’s go for a short walk. There’s a message from the Holy Nation that I was asked to deliver to you privately.”

At the entrance of the room, Isis turned to look at me. Her blue gaze wasn’t trying to trap me. It was like looking at a flowing stream—the helpless eyes of someone watching an inevitable flow. Before her expression could be read further, Isis quickly turned her head and opened the door.

“I’ll be back shortly.”

Leaving Daphne and Marianne behind, I followed Isis out of the room.

The snow made a crunching sound as it compressed underfoot. It wasn’t falling urgently. The rate of accumulation and clearing was constant. I observed Isis’s stride as she tried hard to walk alongside me. Isis was quiet. I kept looking straight ahead, trying not to seem awkward.

It was when we passed the headquarters of the Hero’s party and entered an alley of shops that had all closed that Isis spoke. Under the long shadows cast by the awnings, she opened her mouth.

“What do you want me to tell you?”

Stop.

My footsteps halted. Two steps ahead. I turned around. Isis’s transparent eyes resembled snow. They were like snow that had accumulated, reflecting the sky transparently.

“Is treatment impossible?”

“Are you asking while already knowing what the problem is?”

When I didn’t respond, Isis let out a deep sigh. Her fingers, crossed over her arms, tapped against her forearm. Unmistakable displeasure showed in her slightly contorted lips. Our breaths lingered in the air. Like the accumulating snow, the gazes between me and Isis changed and piled up.

“Literally, your heart is torn. Like paper. Torn to shreds. I don’t even understand how you’re still alive. There’s some kind of large mana cluster forcibly holding your heart together…”

Isis shook her head as she spoke. It seemed like something she didn’t want to put into words.

“You’re alive because that mana is holding your heart together, but that same mana makes it impossible for me to treat you. The mana is so strong that my holy magic can’t even interfere with it.”

She couldn’t treat it. I could still feel the fake heart pounding in my left chest. When I slightly furrowed my brow, Isis took a step forward.

“Every heartbeat must feel like dozens of needles stabbing your chest, so how can you be so composed? Even now… it must be unbearably painful…”

“How long can I last?”

Isis bit her lip.

“…As long as the mana holds out, if you don’t overexert yourself. If you can ignore the pain, you could live until old age like a normal person.”

“And if I overexert myself?”

“Your heart will be torn to shreds and you’ll die, of course. You already know this best, so why are you asking?”

Isis spoke as if irritated. Another step forward. Isis stood beside me. The awning caught the snow, melting it and wetting our clothes.

“But you’re going to overexert yourself, aren’t you? No matter what I say. And from the beginning, I have neither the right nor the grounds to interfere. That’s what a Hero is, after all. A being who lives for the world.”

Her words were bitter. Isis turned her head to look outside the awning. The sunlight split and cast shadows.

“No one will care how a Hero dies.”

“The time and manner of death are also part of life. If I suddenly collapse and die on the street, everyone will point fingers.”

Isis pressed her lips together uncomfortably at my words.

“It’s the same for a saint, isn’t it? Having to live for the world.”

“Don’t change the subject. We’re talking about your body right now.”

The mention of being close to death felt distant. Therefore, death itself didn’t feel close either. The heartbeat was pain, and pain was life, existence. I touched my chest.

“Retire. You must have saved enough money to be sick of it. Build a villa somewhere in the warm southern lands and live stroking cats in a rocking chair.”

“Even if I retire, I’ll go live in the north. I hate the south because there are too many people.”

“Whatever you say.”

There were unspoken words. A Hero shouldn’t quit. I must quit. Life and time accumulated like falling snow, making it impossible to know what the original ground was like. Was it something I started to live? Was it something I started to save others? Unlike snow, they don’t melt. Even if I want to remove them, they’ve become one and can’t be separated.

“You looked troubled.”

“What?”

“When you started meditating to find a solution.”

For a while, neither of us spoke. Both I and Isis just stared blankly at the changing light.

“I wish you wouldn’t die.”

“Thank you.”

“I wish you could save the world and return with a healthy smile.”

A Hero can be prioritized over a single soldier. That soldier might be prioritized over the world by someone. I should never be prioritized over the world in any situation, by anyone.

“I should go. I couldn’t spare much time.”

“I’ll visit the Holy Nation sometime. I should pay my respects to the Bishop and the Pope.”

Isis nodded and walked out from under the awning. I remained standing under the awning for a long time after Isis had disappeared.

“[I’m sorry.]”

Suddenly, I heard the Holy Sword’s voice. My mouth felt dry. The Holy Sword is not at fault. If blame must be assigned, it’s me who couldn’t fully achieve the third release.

“I’m sorry too.”

“[It’s hard for me to fully read your thoughts.]”

At the Holy Sword’s words, I blinked.

“[I had been wishing for that, but now that it’s happened, anxiety comes first.]”

“Because I’m dying?”

“[…Perhaps.]”

I chuckled and started walking. Looking at Isis’s footprints, I began walking in the opposite direction.

==

One afternoon when Marianne and Daphne were out, I walked down to the first-floor lobby in response to a knock. Uncertain about the single knock, I opened the door.

“Hello, Professor.”

And reflexively closed it. After a moment of silence, patient knocking resumed. I slowly turned the doorknob. Beyond the reopened door, the black-haired girl was still standing there. All traces of the monster were gone, and now she was just present in the form of a person named Natali.

“…What brings you here?”

“I don’t think it’s strange for a student to visit her teacher’s home.”

Natali gave me a brazen answer. Outside, the summer snow was melting. The time of daydreaming was coming to an end. After shaking the snow off her boots onto the carpet, Natali entered the house.

“It’s spacious.”

“It’s nice of you to visit, but could you maybe give me some notice next time?”

The Academy is still closed. It will resume once the Magic Tower is properly restored. Three students died in this war. Those deaths planted three more swords in me. It was even a bit difficult to look at Natali’s face. Though I’m not sure what Natali thinks about it.

“Are you doing well? I heard you’ve taken refuge with the Greyson… Yujin’s family.”

“Yes. They said they would guarantee everything, so I went with them. There’s too much I don’t know to do anything on my own.”

Yujin and Cora didn’t die. Cora’s wounds were deep, but she gradually recovered. Taking her contributions in the war into consideration, Natali was pardoned. Now free, Natali had decided to live.

“I’m trying to learn one thing at a time and live.”

“That’s a good approach.”

Second floor, kitchen. I sat Natali at the table and prepared tea. Curious about something, Natali kept following me as I moved around the kitchen.

“Is there something you want to ask?”

Natali held her teacup and stared at me.

“Something’s bothering me.”

I gestured with my chin, urging her to speak.

“You smell similar to me.”

“What do you mean?”

Natali took a sip of tea, closed her eyes, then opened them.

“You, Professor.”