Ch.143Negotiation (6)

Sylvia was afraid.

That fact struck me with a fresh shock.

It wasn’t some obvious, childish realization that Sylvia was, after all, a fragile woman.

The fact that she was a woman was etched into every part of my body almost every night, and I was also reminded daily that she possessed a strength that easily overwhelmed someone like me.

My shock stemmed from suddenly realizing how I had been thinking about Sylvia all this time.

Just as I had unknowingly thought of Pia as a convenient existence to seek out only when needed, it seemed I had vaguely considered Sylvia as some strong, reliable pillar.

“…”

I couldn’t muster the courage to offer any words.

I felt too rude to offer hasty comfort, having mistakenly judged Sylvia as some invincible superhuman all this time, and I felt too inadequate to rashly promise to be her support.

Overwhelmed by guilt that pressed so heavily on my chest I could barely breathe, I could do nothing but stare blankly at Sylvia.

In this heavy silence that covered our small cabin like thick layers of dust—quiet yet relentless—only Sylvia’s sad, soft sobs cut sharply through the air and drummed against my eardrums.

My heart ached.

Not because the woman I thought was only strong had crumbled, but because I felt pathetic for not realizing that she had been standing precariously for so long.

It hurt.

“…Sylvia.”

With a pain squeezing my heart, I barely managed to call her name aloud.

It wasn’t a call to elicit her response, but something closer to a sigh or a cry.

“…ha,”

I suddenly let out a hollow laugh.

My head filled with all the meaningless nonsense I had been spouting to her until now.

Talking about love?

Wanting to live together? What nonsense.

Obsessed? A pervert? Lusting after her body?

How ridiculous.

What was hurting Sylvia, what she was afraid of,

Why she had so persistently wanted to confirm our love—wasn’t I the real pervert who had never seriously thought about any of this, only desiring her body?

Because Sylvia was strong,

I never once questioned that fact and didn’t realize she was in pain.

No, I never tried to know.

Did I think the strong Sylvia would somehow overcome it on her own, or did I simply not care from the beginning?

Perhaps it was both.

I could understand why Sylvia had tried to bind me to her while trembling with such anxiety.

Sylvia, a woman who wanted to be loved by me, must have instinctively sensed it.

How empty my fine words truly were.

“…ugh,”

Did I really love Sylvia?

I slowly bit my trembling lips painfully.

The blood that had been gradually seeping from my lips, pressed by my canines, suddenly gushed out and flowed down my lips.

Only then did Sylvia finally compose herself and speak in a deliberately bright tone.

“… Sorry, I said something strange, didn’t I?”

“…”

“Don’t worry about it. I was just confused because strange thoughts kept coming to me.”

“…”

“I guess I’m a bit tense thinking about going after the Demon Lord again. Even with my experience as a Hero, I’m acting like such an amateur…”

“… Sylvia.”

Sylvia slowly raised her head, then suddenly widened her eyes and shouted.

“Ash! Your lip is bleeding!”

“… I know.”

“Did you bite your lip? Did you accidentally bite it while eating? Oh my goodness, wait…”

Sylvia hurriedly approached me on her knees and pressed the end of her sleeve against my lip.

Her trembling, strong fingers pressed my lip painfully to stop the bleeding.

“You bit it quite hard,”

A faint golden mist rose from her fingers and gently flashed.

Soon, a warm sensation spread across my lip.

It was healing using holy power, something I had become accustomed to after receiving it countless times.

After the mist cleared, Sylvia gently released my lip and said.

“I’m sorry. I made you worry with my foolish words.”

“… Don’t…”

“Hm?”

“Don’t… apologize… why are you apologizing, Sylvia?”

“… Ash?”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

I lowered my head.

A murky tear fell to the floor with a plop.

“Ash,”

“I’m sorry… really, I… I had no idea that Sylvia… would think like that…”

How could she not be afraid?

No matter who Sylvia was, no matter that she was a Hero.

It couldn’t be easy to walk the same path where comrades who had supported her to the point of sacrificing their lives had fallen.

It couldn’t be easy to face her mistakes and failures head-on.

It couldn’t be so simple to acknowledge what she had ruined.

How could she not want someone to lean on?

“Ash…”

Looking back now, Sylvia had clearly conveyed her fears to me.

When I suggested we defeat the Demon Lord, she had clearly told me with her own words, her own language.

That she was afraid to face failure, that she was tired of a life of endless sacrifice.

That she didn’t want to risk losing me.

And what had I said in response?

Let’s get married.

Let’s get married when this is all over…

Haha,

What a madman.

Without the ability to back it up, I acted like some romantic story protagonist with words I’d picked up somewhere.

Idiot.

There’s no bigger idiot than this.

How ugly.

How pathetic.

I felt so sorry for Sylvia who had nodded in agreement for such a fool.

“Stop,”

Sylvia embraced my head gently and said.

“Ash, are you beating yourself up again?”

“…”

Sylvia slowly stroked my back with both hands, patting me.

That warm touch, hard to believe came from those rough, strong hands, slowly spread from my back throughout my body.

“We’ve lived together for quite some time now.”

Sylvia spoke in a gentle, soothing voice.

Her voice, still faintly wet from crying earlier, was a harmonious blend of warmth and melancholy.

“Well, it might be considered short, but to me it’s been long. Long enough to make up for all those past years and more.”

“… ugh,”

“So now I can tell what you’re thinking just by looking at you. You’re definitely beating yourself up again, aren’t you? Thinking ‘How could I not understand Sylvia?'”

The hand stroking my back suddenly stopped, then slowly applied pressure.

Then she pulled me into a tight embrace.

A hug we had shared countless times.

I fit into the empty space in her arms like a magnet.

Sylvia spoke softly.

“Don’t do that, Ash. Don’t say it.”

“… I…”

“Don’t say anything. You’ll only say self-deprecating things anyway.”

“…”

“I don’t like hearing anyone insult you, even yourself.”

“… Sylvia.”

“I’m sorry for showing you my anxious side. It was my fault.”

“No, it’s not Sylvia’s fault—”

“Shut up. It’s my fault.”

“…”

Sylvia hugged me so tightly my waist felt like it might break.

“I am a Hero. I became a Hero again because you asked me to.”

“…”

“As a Hero, I will protect the world.”

Then she slowly released me from her embrace, gently held my face, and looked at me.

Beyond my tear-blurred vision, two red rubies shone between strands of platinum silk.

When the platinum curtain, beautiful as the canopy of a goddess’s bedchamber, swayed, Sylvia’s sweet scent rose intoxicatingly.

The curtain, the rubies, slowly approached as if to cover my vision.

Sylvia’s fragrance filled my nostrils.

Just before our lips met, Sylvia paused slightly and whispered to me.

“You are my world.”

*

After a light kiss, the first thing my clearing eyes saw was my blood covering her lips.

I belatedly wiped my lips with my palm.

Sylvia was staring at me blankly.

I hastily said.

“Ah, no. I didn’t wipe because I disliked kissing Sylvia…”

“…Hehe, I know. You’re wiping off the blood.”

Sylvia dabbed at the blood on her lips with her finger.

Then she slowly licked the blood from her lips with her tongue.

“…”

“What? Did you think I would find your blood disgusting?”

“N-no…”

I slowly wiped the remaining blood from my lips.

At that moment, my palm detected an unfamiliar sensation from my lips, or rather, from around my mouth to my chin.

“…Oh,”

“What’s wrong?”

“…Sylvia, do I have a beard?”

“Yes. Didn’t you know?”

“Since when…?”

“You had a little when we met again, and it’s been like this since after we started training.”

“…”

I covered my mouth with my palm in surprise.

Of course, I wasn’t surprised because this was my first time growing a beard.

Although my beard didn’t grow as well as others’, it naturally grew if left alone, and when I lived in Sylvia’s cabin, I regularly shaved using a dagger she had given me.

But I hadn’t shaved once since meeting the green woman.

I had been alone for over a month, and this pitiful wooden shed I built had no mirror or anything that could serve as one.

Even when washing in the lake, I always swam around splashing rather than looking at the water’s surface.

As a result, I had completely forgotten about my beard.

“…You could have told me.”

“Why?”

“I don’t like it. My beard grows in an unflattering way.”

“I think it’s kind of cute.”

“Do you like beards, Sylvia?”

“No,”

“… Then you should have told me.”

“I thought you were growing it for style.”

“…”

“Hehe,”

I slowly got up from my seat.

“Where are you going?”

“To the lake.”

“To shave?”

As Sylvia said, I was getting up to shave, but that wasn’t all.

I needed to wash off the blood, rinse my swollen eyes, and most of all, I wanted to wash away this pathetic version of myself.

The beard was a convenient excuse.

I felt that if I could shave off all my dullness and stupidity along with my beard, I might be able to see the world and Sylvia with wiser eyes.

I had always disliked my pettily growing beard.

It was the perfect scapegoat to project my pathetic self onto.

“I need to wash off the blood too…”

“Shall we train again after you shave?”

“Yeah, come out in about ten minutes.”

“Okay, got it.”

Covering my mouth as I walked, I suddenly stopped at the door.

Then I slowly turned around and said.

“Thank you, Sylvia.”

Sylvia answered with a smile.

“I love you, Ash.”

*

After Ash left, Pia sat staring blankly at Sylvia.

Judging by the atmosphere, she was convinced that the two would not stop their acts of love.

To Pia’s eyes, it was clearly Sylvia lusting after Ash, but Ash too was easily drawn into their own world, oblivious to his surroundings, just by Sylvia setting the mood.

It had happened just now.

Despite knowing full well that Pia was watching from the side, Ash kissed Sylvia as if he had forgotten that fact.

Of course, she could understand to some extent.

The two were in love, Sylvia couldn’t see Pia at all, and there was a large, fatal void between them that only they could fill for each other, making them constantly yearn for one another.

But understanding something and being able to endure it were different matters.

There was a limit to witnessing touching affection; having to watch the two mate like animals every night was extremely embarrassing for Pia.

Including the strange feelings that kept arising within her.

Pia sighed and stood up to follow Ash who had left first.

That’s when it happened.

“Did he call you Pia?”

Did I hear wrong?

I must have heard wrong.

Pia thought so.

It was a natural assumption since no one but Ash could see her.

“Are you there?”

“…Huh?”

Pia turned around in shock toward the source of the voice.

“Shall we talk?”

There were two bright red eyes staring directly at Pia.

The sweet yet bitter atmosphere that had enveloped the cabin until moments ago instantly vanished.

“C-can you see Pia?”

“…”

Sylvia smiled a chilling smile.

.