Ch.141Chapter 141: Yellow

I seem to be saying this a lot lately.

But I can’t help but say one thing.

Good times pass too quickly.

After guiding my dozing self from the chair to her thigh.

Intoxicated by the warmth Shizu shared when she pressed her lips to my forehead while watching me sleep for a long time.

With the sole desire to share the same warmth I felt.

I did exactly what she had done to me.

While comforting her as she struggled like a malfunctioning magical engineering device.

The pleasant time we spent exchanging apologies for disturbing each other’s rest and chatting about today’s events has already come to an end.

I could sense the passage of time without needing to look at a wall clock.

The sunlight that had slipped through the tiny gaps in the blinds—which had told me it was still daytime despite the lights being off and the windows covered—had now completely disappeared.

‘What a shame.’

As I checked the time, a feeling of regret dominated my thoughts.

This year’s Subjugation Festival had effectively concluded.

The boisterous sounds of the fortress garrison troops celebrating the fact that no one had died or been seriously injured during the festival could still be heard from here.

I desperately wanted to continue sharing the tenderness we couldn’t express earlier while spending time with her here until just before falling asleep.

‘No, I can’t.’

I quickly composed myself and shook off the regret.

It was time to leave the infirmary after spending time with the person I love and attend to what I needed to do.

Why leave my precious fiancée, you ask?

Well, obviously for training with Fafnir.

I need to walk the fastest and most direct path to developing strength that doesn’t rely on others’ help when situations like today arise.

-I’ll see you tonight.

How could I forget her voice echoing in my head with such anticipation when she said she’d see me tonight?

Until now, during our training sessions through sparring.

He hadn’t intensified his attacks against me just because he was in a bad mood.

But I’m breaking into a cold sweat thinking tonight might be different.

After visiting Night Haven for the Subjugation Festival.

And then, not many days later, being ambushed by Pale Sanguin who had infiltrated the fortress after sensing his kin Cecilia’s energy, creating a dangerous situation, saying he needed to be harsh with me.

Calling me to that misty, unidentified space whenever night falls.

How could I not break into a cold sweat remembering the moments when he turned me into a human punching bag?

Sparring with Fafnir was an experience of his extraordinary power that could only be described as beyond standard.

Even though he couldn’t exert his original power due to forcibly interfering with the material world.

He had cleanly cut through the armor worn by Mein and Laplace, who bore the symbol of the Crimson Pentagram.

My killing-intent-filled energy blade was repeatedly blocked by Fafnir’s crimson dragon armor.

And Fafnir’s unarmed martial arts inflicted pain on my body that even my super-regenerative ability couldn’t completely subdue.

How sharply will Fafnir’s martial arts—which were too fast to follow with the naked eye—turn my body into a punching bag today?

Shudder

Just thinking about it made me tremble involuntarily.

“…Cal?”

Because of this, Shizu’s voice, filled with confusion and concern, emerged as she noticed my trembling.

Ah, I’m afraid.

The thought of making up some excuse to avoid training with him on such a good day like today did cross my mind.

‘…Honestly, it’s ridiculous to writhe over pain that will only last momentarily.’

I immediately steeled myself and resolved to complete the final schedule of the day.

And even if I feared the pain I would face during training with Fafnir.

I absolutely cannot skip tonight’s sparring session with him no matter what.

Because there’s something important we need to do along with the training.

‘Because we need to exchange important words.’

Though I mentally emphasized its importance.

It wasn’t anything particularly grand.

The secret I hold.

The truth he knows.

All we need to do is face each other and share these things candidly.

…Though it’s not easy to tell someone that you died, your body turned to ash and scattered, yet you came back to life with your memories intact by traveling back in time—something that sounds unbelievable at first hearing.

Whatever the reason, rather than hiding a truth that would eventually be discovered by my roommate who speaks in my head since receiving the dragon sword and occasionally reads my thoughts.

It’s part of my plan to openly reveal everything and possibly seek his help.

So I began preparing to conclude my day.

First, I needed to get up, say goodbye to Shizu, and leave the infirmary.

So I tried to lift my body from the bed, but…

The soft sensation that had suddenly wrapped around my right arm stopped my movement.

It was obvious who would give me such a sensation in this place.

Without asking or doing anything unnecessary, I turned my gaze toward where my right arm was.

What I saw at the end of my gaze was the expected person doing something unexpected.

The expected person was, of course, Shizu.

And the unexpected action she took was…

I hadn’t said a word about leaving.

I hadn’t even prepared to get up.

Yet, as if reading my thoughts and trying to prevent me from leaving, she wrapped my right arm with her two arms and upper body.

She didn’t verbally ask me not to go, but…

“…”

She was expressing “don’t go” with her eyes and expression, with her entire body.

…How did she notice?

Curiosity flashed through my mind, but.

Rather than wasting time satisfying that curiosity.

The urgent matter was to carefully persuade her and leave this place, but.

“Um…, Shizu?”

Even though I called her name like this, trying to detach her from me.

“Stay with me longer.”

As the words “don’t go” came from her lips, which had been silently wrapped around my arm.

Squeeze

I felt stronger pressure from her arms wrapped around my right arm.

…How did she sense my intentions so keenly when I hadn’t even properly said I was leaving yet?

And not only did she sense it, but.

After battling that cursed Adorator and being pushed to the brink of execution.

With her body and mind exhausted, groaning while resting in bed for barely a few hours.

As if she had fully recovered her strength in that short time.

The strength with which Shizu was gripping my arm was stronger than I had ever felt before.

Sigh, this won’t be easy.

I pondered what to say to remove her from my arm, but.

“…Can’t you stay a little longer?”

Seeing her looking at me with such a desperate expression, any words I might have had instantly vanished.

…Well, I did deploy the flimsy defense mechanism of thinking that Fafnir would probably understand this much.

#

Perhaps feeling that wrapping my right arm with her two arms wasn’t enough to stop my movement.

Shizu, before I could stop her, tightly embraced me with both arms and entered my embrace.

Just by entering my embrace.

“Hehe.”

The laugh she makes when she’s in a very good mood escaped her lips.

Is my embrace really that pleasant to her?

I felt my resolve to leave the infirmary for my duties gradually sinking.

Judging that I needed to calm her mind more before I could leave the infirmary.

I tightly embraced her with both arms as she entered my embrace.

And gently patted her back with my right hand.

It was the best method for comforting her when she was young, small in stature, and a crybaby despite being the same age as me.

She wasn’t crying in my arms now, but.

Her whining and pouting behavior was very similar to her childhood self when she would cry helplessly, so it was a natural action for me to take.

The effect was good.

I could faintly feel the breath from her nose that she makes when she’s in a good mood in my embrace.

Seeing this, I could sense it intuitively.

Ah, she is so averse to separating from me that she’s closing the distance between us like this.

And she’s extremely happy with my response to her actions.

Already, during our conversation earlier in the day.

I had given her advance notice that I would have to leave in the evening because I had something to do.

I could easily tell that she remembered this and was trying to prevent me from leaving the infirmary as soon as she confirmed the sun had set.

“Hoo….”

At her action, whose intention was so clear, I continued patting her back while letting out a sigh so small it couldn’t be heard.

It wasn’t a sigh tinged with worry or other negative elements.

How could I dislike her behavior as she pouted like this, trying to prevent me from leaving because she was so regretful about my absence?

It was just… just a sigh directed at my pathetic self who only realized her warm heart after experiencing death, my body turning to ash, and traveling back in time, when it had been within reach all along.

Naturally, something came to mind.

The difference in attitude between the Shizu who faced me in the previous timeline and the current Shizu.

Before, I mean, not in this second life after traveling back in time.

But in that miserable life where.

I lived like a puppet of a transcendental being.

Back then, you and I, whom I liked, crossed swords many times.

Of course, it wasn’t by my will.

It was caused by the immense malice implanted in my body by the demon god who made me his agent and feared I might not move according to his will.

Her reaction to the malice dwelling in my body still appears vividly in my nightmares.

At first, she wore the expression of a hero devoted to the people and values she had to protect, swinging her sword without hesitation at me, whose identity was concealed by a helmet.

Then, as we exchanged fierce sword strikes, her expression changed to one of shock when she discovered me with a crazed look through my broken helmet.

The next time we met, seeing me like that caused her cognitive dissonance, preventing her from attacking properly.

Eventually, she made desperate efforts to persuade me, and that desperately earnest appearance also came to mind.

That painfully earnest and intensely desperate appearance did stir my heart, which couldn’t even properly control my body due to the malice possessing me.

But the dark malice, which the demon god called a safety device to control me, read my wavering and to give me despair.

Burned one by one the things she cherished right before her eyes.

Seeing me like that, she finally gave up on persuasion and adopted a frost-like expression to kill me, maintaining that expression until the moment of my death.

That memory remains vividly clear.

Back then, her golden hair, like melted pure gold, combined with her frost-like cold expression.

Every time I saw her, she reminded me of a fierce and stern lioness.

But in the current timeline, where I’ve properly buttoned the first button from the beginning, that image doesn’t come to mind when I see her.

Setting aside her power, which hasn’t yet fully unleashed its latent potential.

When I see her now, always smiling brightly and entering my embrace.

What comes to mind is, how should I put it, a large breed of dog?

A creature the size of a calf that warms people’s hearts with affection much greater than the tiny bit of affection shown to it.

And coincidentally, her hair color is exactly the bright and vibrant blonde that reminds me of such a breed.

If I were to stroke her hair, wouldn’t it feel similar to…

…My thoughts are shifting to inappropriate ideas again while reminiscing about the past.

‘Ahem.’

As I tried to cool my head with an internal cough.

I could see that she had approached to reduce the distance between us to the point where only the top of her head was visible in my field of vision.

It was an incredible closeness.

A distance where I could fully sense her body scent if I focused on my sense of smell.

Naturally, I couldn’t prevent her body scent from entering my nostrils.

Shizu, who had been nestled in my arms until the very end of the Subjugation Festival, was transported to this infirmary for rest as soon as the situation ended.

She hadn’t washed during that process.

So I made a diligent effort to prevent my sense of smell from reacting sensitively to Shizu’s body scent and potentially embarrassing her, but.

Despite my efforts, her body scent rising from the top of her head and entering my nostrils wasn’t strange enough to warrant such sensitive concerns.

Rather, how should I put it?

A floral scent?

It was similar to the scent of the golden osmanthus that bloomed in the garden where we played together as children at the Ranos mansion.

The golden osmanthus, commonly known as the “ten-thousand-mile fragrance,” was a flower with a pretty yellow color.

That color was similar to the hair of Shizu, who had snuggled into my embrace and buried her face.

“…It’s warm.”

Lost in thought, I heard Shizu’s soft voice from my embrace as she acted spoiled.

Her voice was slightly muffled because she was nestled in my embrace, but.

Rather, because of that muffled sensation.

I belatedly realized how incredibly the distance between her and me had decreased.

So I could only feel relieved that her gaze was buried in my embrace in the current state.

It was obvious that my face would be flushed redder than my hair right now, even without looking in a mirror.

People often describe the color that comes to mind when feeling love as red.

In my case, I think I need to add one more color to that red.

A vibrant yellow close to golden that naturally reminds me of you whenever I see it.

Red was merely a secondary color that came to mind when seeing it.

The color that makes me feel love is yellow.

“…When I’m in Cal’s embrace like this, I feel like all the wounds I received today will heal in just one day.”

Shizu’s voice, snuggled into my embrace, was becoming increasingly overtly affectionate.

In reality, her physical condition would have already healed thanks to the synergistic effect of this infirmary, which maximizes the body’s natural healing power, and the blessing of the holy sword.

But she was deliberately hiding that fact and expressing her simple wish for me to stay by her side.

If I were the old me, filled with sticky and slimy inferiority complexes.

I would have certainly ignored her and gone about my business upon realizing she was lying.

But that wretched person buried in inferiority complexes no longer exists anywhere in this world.

There’s only a foolish person buried in love, not inferiority.

So the desire to forget my duties and stay with her keeps welling up.

But, as I became aware of the deepening love for Shizu in my heart.

The importance of what I needed to do now was also etching itself into my mind.

…What should I do?

Should I walk the path of building strength to protect my precious person?

Or should I close my eyes and spend the entire evening with her today?

The matter hanging on both ends of the scale was waiting for my judgment to tilt it in one direction or another.

And after endless deliberation, my decision was…

Swish

It was executed by slowly lifting my right hand that had been patting Shizu’s back.

To stroke her head that had snuggled into my embrace.

I thought this was the perfect way to express that I was responding to her wish for me to stay longer.

Having said this much, there’s not much more to say.

It seems I should dedicate this evening to her.

That was my judgment, and my right hand slowly rose toward the top of her head.

Shizu, who had been breathing contentedly in my embrace, seemed to notice where my hand was heading.

I could see both her ears perking up.

It was a behavior I often saw when we were young.

Something she often showed when expecting something from me.

…Though it’s not just her who’s expecting something, but me as well.

[…You’re having fun, Inseok.]

…Ah, that startled me.

Just as I was getting immersed in the sentiment, Fafnir’s voice echoed in my head like cold water being poured over me.

…Well, this is convenient.

I was planning to ask for his understanding, but since he spoke first, this is my chance to tell him I need to change today’s schedule.

‘Fafnir. Actually….’

So I was about to call Fafnir and tell him I couldn’t have our important conversation along with training this evening, but.

[Due to circumstances, what we planned for today is postponed until tomorrow. Both the sparring and the conversation.]

For some reason, Fafnir preemptively showed his intention to adjust the schedule, so I had to stop what I was about to say.

I wondered if he had something to do that required schedule adjustments while alone in that misty, desolate space, but.

[…Understood?]

As if reading my thoughts, Fafnir asked for confirmation in a rigid tone.

‘Tomorrow, I’ll face you in perfect condition.’

I chose the best phrase I could offer in this situation, and.

[You worked hard today. Even though you’ve rested a bit, I’m not in a physical state to exert my full power right now, so you should rest well today too.]

Fafnir conveyed the following message through my mind in a flat tone before falling silent again.

Though flat, his voice tinged with fatigue, or perhaps something beyond that, aroused my curiosity, but.

Well, I’ll think about that later.

Now, I should first think about how to spend the remaining time with this precious fiancée who has no intention of leaving my side.