Ch.13The Pretend Patrol #1

After Kane’s execution, Helena began to obsess over me intensely.

She became so aggressive that it felt like she’d become a different person, and I couldn’t even go to the bathroom freely. The change in her expression when I said I was going to the bathroom alone during outdoor training is still vivid in my memory.

This was inevitable, not because it was shocking, but because it was a face I encountered whenever I had nothing else to do.

Furthermore, she even prevented me from commuting to and from the Altram mansion. She demanded this from both the Altram family and Duke Krauser, and after some persuasion, she made me live in the Krauser mansion. As a result, one of the guest rooms had completely become mine. Originally, she wanted us to sleep in the same room, but everyone around us—myself included—strongly objected to that idea.

Later, on Helena’s eighteenth birthday, she seemed to have been waiting for this moment as she surpassed the level of Sword Expert and stepped into the realm of Masters, becoming one of the few in the entire continent. She became the first human in history to reach Master at such a young age, especially as a woman.

Because of this, both Krauser and Altram were extremely excited and held grand parties that lasted for days. It was literally a festive atmosphere. Even the King wanted to highly praise Helena, saying he could hold his head high thanks to her.

However, Helena flatly refused the offer. She said the weight of the King’s request and the honor weren’t even worth considering. Of course, she didn’t say this to his face. Outwardly, she politely declined, claiming she needed to further master her skills before accepting such recognition.

The real reason was her displeasure at having to be separated from me for a while. While I could accompany her for most of her schedule without issue, there would clearly be times when that wouldn’t be possible.

Anyway, Helena went through various processes to become what one might call an obsessive woman, and that obsession showed no signs of cooling until I turned fifteen.

And that obsession continues to this day.

◎◎◎

“Me too, I want to go too!”

In early spring of the year when Helena was twenty-three and I was fifteen. The season often described as when “zombie cherry blossoms” are heard had arrived without fail, but those flowers that evoke the feeling of the season weren’t present here. Of course, the garden was beautiful with various flowers in full bloom, but it was inevitable to feel that something was missing.

However, now was not the time to recite leisurely appreciation notes. Because this obsessive woman had started throwing a tantrum again.

“Helena. How many years has it been since we agreed that bathroom trips are taken alone? I thought things were fine after that, but you can’t do this again.”

“But still…!”

In Helena’s room, one of my duties is to soothe her when she throws tantrums. Despite growing into a beautiful adult with a tall, slender figure and a vibrant body—someone who would be considered one of the most attractive people anywhere—she still threw tantrums.

It was much better than when she used to display her intimidating demeanor, but in truth, this was just the preliminary stage. Thanks to spending considerable time coaxing and soothing her, her obsession had evolved into two stages. Without that, she would have given me that look right now.

That look reminiscent of an abyss.

“Then would it be okay for me to watch you urinate, Helena?”

“Ugh!”

Watching Helena go to the bathroom, observing the entire process. For me, it would certainly be something I could shout “possible!” to, but it was clear that others around us would never accept it that way. When she went to the bathroom, I would guard outside, but even that drew many strange looks.

No, they definitely thought it was strange. Even I thought it was strange.

“That’s… embarrassing.”

Although she had become comfortable standing before me in underwear that was practically the same as being naked, following her to the bathroom was another matter entirely. That’s why Helena’s cheeks turned as red as ripe apples. The issue of having to leave when she bathed was similar.

“I understand. I’m embarrassed too. Besides, what if there’s a smell when you’re doing your business? Would you want me to smell that?”

“That’s, absolutely not!”

Though she had become an obsessive woman with a disturbed mind, Helena was fundamentally an aristocrat. She lived with the ingrained etiquette that had become instinctive through years of education. That’s why she reacted quite strongly to the crude word “poop,” and showed even stronger aversion to the idea of making someone smell it.

Well, unless one particularly had that preference, no one would want to be near such a smell. That’s just human nature.

“I’m glad you understand. Then I’ll be back soon.”

“Yes. Come back quickly. Understood?”

“Yes. Don’t worry.”

I left the woman who was acting like a child separated from her mother in the room and immediately headed to the bathroom located at the end of the first-floor corridor. It had been several years since I stopped addressing Helena with honorifics when we were alone, and that seemed to have increased our intimacy. Although it might seem strange to want to be intimate with an obsessive woman, I didn’t think this lifestyle was bad.

Above all, the biggest factor was the need to put the brakes on the butterfly effect leading to the collapse of the world. Just stopping Helena would take care of half the problem.

“Ah, Sir Zion. Hello.”

“Hello. No issues today as usual?”

“Of course. It’s the very definition of peace.”

On my way to the bathroom, I chatted with Bart whom I encountered. Over the past few years, he had become the man in charge of the kitchen at Duke Krauser’s mansion, and we had maintained our past connection to become quite close.

What connected us wasn’t status or anything else—it was cooking. Since I always prepared Helena’s meals separately, I inevitably had to rely on the kitchen, and through that process, we had built a friendship.

This created the awkward situation of Helena frequenting the kitchen almost daily, but by now, all the kitchen staff had adapted to it. They had no choice but to get used to it.

“That’s good to hear. Then, I’ll see you in the kitchen shortly.”

“Yes, understood.”

After parting with Bart, I entered the bathroom and took care of my business. Whether it was due to the development of living technology through magic or simply because it was a noble’s house, I wasn’t sure, but it was quite comfortable. The toilet was what we commonly call a western-style one.

“Haah—”

An ordinary person might have gone mad from a noble’s obsession by now. Or they might have become so frightened that they would be careful with every action. After all, the other party was strong and of an extremely high rank—the child of a duke.

But I wasn’t afraid, and I had generally coaxed and soothed Helena even in situations where I might have been cornered. There were times when reasoning didn’t work, but I would grab onto the tail end of her words and stretch them out until she convinced herself. All thanks to my iron mentality and zombie-like body.

That’s why even now, I calmly finished urinating and returned to the room that was both my workplace and where a physically grown child was waiting.

“Zion! Welcome back!”

“Yes, I’m back. Oh, by the way, what would you like for lunch today?”

As soon as I entered the room, I asked what we should do for lunch. Setting aside Helena’s intense reaction as if we were lovers reuniting after a long separation despite only being apart briefly, meals couldn’t wait.

“Hmm… what would be good? Everything you make is delicious.”

Helena showed signs of dissatisfaction with my casual response to her fervent welcome, but as soon as she heard about lunch, she fell into deep contemplation. Perhaps because eating is important to everyone.

Of course, many people just want to get through a meal quickly, and I often feel the same way. But the desire to eat something delicious makes me overcome the hassle and do the work.

Helena tilted her head, groaned for a while, and then spoke.

“Since it’s spring, I’d like something refreshing. Is there anything good?”

A somewhat, or rather, very ambiguous order. Even if we talk about refreshing food, there are so many types that it’s hard to choose. Another problem was not knowing whether she would like what I chose to make.

However, fortunately, I didn’t need to worry about that. Helena would eat anything I made for her.

“Something good… how about a salad pasta?”

So I decided on something moderately safe and quick to make. It might seem hasty to decide without checking the ingredients, but the duke’s household had an excellent supply of food ingredients, so there would be no difficulties.

“Yes. That sounds good.”

“Then shall we go down to the kitchen? By the time we finish making it, it should be just about lunchtime.”

Helena nodded at my suggestion and got up. There was a reason I said “let’s go down” instead of “I’ll be back.” As mentioned earlier, she hated being separated from me. In some ways, it was creepy, but from another perspective, it was so ridiculous that it made me laugh. She looked like a child trailing after her mother.

“Ah, Lady Helena. Welcome.”

“Yes, Mr. Bart. And hello to everyone else. Are you all well?”

As soon as we entered the kitchen, Bart and the other chefs bowed in greeting. Helena nodded lightly in return and received their greetings with a gentle smile. She even went so far as to ask after their well-being. She was the very model of a proper noble lady.

“Haha. We’re doing well, thanks to your consideration.”

Although she had become twisted in many ways by her obsession, Helena, having found stability, was as considerate as ever. Perhaps that’s why the kitchen staff could treat her somewhat comfortably.

“Then, excuse me for a moment.”

Leaving Helena exchanging pleasant greetings behind me, I took off my tailcoat jacket and neatly placed it in a corner of the kitchen. Cooking while wearing a jacket was extremely bothersome. Additionally, I rolled up my shirt sleeves to my elbows. This was also for comfort.

After I grew taller, I switched from servant’s clothing to a tailcoat, but it wasn’t actually my intention. It was the result of Helena’s not-quite-request and Chess’s suggestion that I should maintain some formality since I had grown considerably.

At least it suited me well, so I didn’t have major complaints, but I couldn’t deny that the loose servant’s clothing was more comfortable.

Anyway.

I cleared my mind of distractions and focused on cooking. The chefs had already prepared flour dough, so I borrowed some of that and made noodles. Thanks to this, I was able to shorten the most time-consuming part of the process.

I sautéed garlic and mushrooms, made the sauce, and finally topped the noodles with thoroughly washed vegetables.

However, once I finished, I felt it was a shame there was no meat. So I quickly pan-fried some pork, sliced it thinly, and served it on a separate plate. Since the pasta was already seasoned, I lightly salted the meat to be eaten with it.

Afterward, I placed the food on a silver tray and returned to the room. Except for breakfast, the people of Krauser handled their meals separately due to their individual schedules. Sometimes they couldn’t even have breakfast together due to busy schedules.

For example, when there was a camping schedule for knight training.

“Mmm. That was delicious.”

After finishing the meal, Helena offered a somewhat dry review. Not because she wasn’t satisfied, but because she was too accustomed to it.

If someone were to ask if it wasn’t tasty, I could confidently answer that it was. The smile on Helena’s lips was proof of that.

◎◎◎

“Could you visit Count Barkan’s territory?”

Right after returning the dishes to the kitchen, Helena and I were summoned by Duke Krauser and visited his reception room, only to hear something completely unexpected. We tilted our heads in confusion because we were told to look around Count Barkan’s territory.

Count Albers Barkan.

One of the subordinate nobles under Duke Krauser and part of the so-called loyal faction that sided with the duke. I thought that people involved in politics inevitably formed factions, and it seemed the Krauser ducal family was no exception.

“Count Barkan’s territory? Why there…?”

“I thought you were at an age where you should start seeing the world.”

Seeing the world.

I had heard that the people of Krauser traditionally toured the territories within the kingdom to experience their general conditions firsthand, and it was clear he intended for Helena to do this.

“Is that so? So, you mean…”

“Yes. When you return, I will make a formal announcement. Of course, there will be a few more places to visit besides Count Barkan’s territory.”

“…I understand. I’ll depart as early as tomorrow.”

Helena accepted Eis’s order as if it were natural, but the conversation seemed somehow truncated. So it was natural to feel ambiguous, but somehow I felt like I could understand the context of this conversation.

At the end of the tour of the territories belonging to Count Barkan and others in Duke Krauser’s faction, probably…