Ch.139Someone’s Memory (V)

# 139. Someone’s Memory (V)

“Hey Bansung! Wanna hit the PC bang after class?”

“Can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Didn’t I tell you? I got caught last time and got my ass handed to me at home.”

After class ended, as I was organizing my textbooks and stationery, my friend who had rushed over to suggest going to the internet cafe sighed in disbelief.

“Your family is seriously strict. It’s not like we’re staying overnight or anything. Just a few hours of gaming with the guys, and you got in that much trouble?”

“Yeah. They said if I get caught going again, they’ll ban me from gaming even on weekends.”

“That’s rough, man.”

“So just go without me.”

“Alright.”

On the way home.

My bag felt unusually heavy today. Was it because I couldn’t go to the PC bang with my friends? Of course that was disappointing, but what weighed on me more was knowing they’d probably ban me from hanging out with friends altogether.

‘I can’t breathe.’

Wake up, wash face, study before breakfast.

Eat breakfast, brush teeth, put on uniform, go to school.

Finish the long school day, head home.

Stop by the house just to change bags, then off to academy.

Finish another long session of classes (grabbing cup noodles or kimbap in between to stave off hunger), then head home.

Shower, do homework, review lessons, prepare tomorrow’s bag according to the schedule—only then is the day over.

Lie in bed, check personal chats and group chats, watch some videos, and suddenly it’s well past midnight.

Give up those small moments of freedom to get enough sleep so I’m not exhausted tomorrow.

Wake up and repeat the same day all over again.

Weekends give a bit more time since there’s no school, but truly enjoying time with friends is only possible for a week or two after exams end.

Last week, feeling suffocated, irritated, and exhausted, I skipped academy just once to go to a PC bang with friends. The scolding I got afterward was so severe it drained the blood from my face. Since then, I’ve lost even the will to resist.

Just a studying machine.

That’s the life and identity of Ban Sunghyun, a third-year middle school student in Korea.

I have no dreams. No aspirations.

Sure, I want to hang out with friends right now, but as for what I actually want to do when I grow up? Nothing.

More accurately, I don’t have the luxury to think about it.

How can I contemplate such things when my schedule is packed with studying from the moment I open my eyes until I close them again? Even during meals or before sleep when I get a break from studying, I don’t want to think about complicated things.

In the end.

It’s just a hamster wheel.

What can a worthless middle school third-year with no dreams, no particular interests, and no money do?

Just do as I’m told.

And so today, once again, I’m buried under an endless wave of problems.

**

My hard studying wasn’t in vain—I got into a good high school. I even got into the dormitory, which meant I only had to see my parents once or twice a month and didn’t need to attend academies anymore.

But did my life change?

Not at all.

College entrance exams were on a completely different level from high school entrance exams. Plus, since everyone here had been filtered for academic excellence, even small mistakes could jeopardize my grade rankings.

On top of that, the schedule of waking up early and studying until midnight remained unchanged. If anything, it got worse. High school classes were on a completely different level from middle school, and the self-study sessions were actually harder because they were self-directed.

Going from passively following teachers’ instructions to having to review and preview lessons by myself for hours…

But I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t pretend to study while killing time. Everyone around me in the study hall was studying diligently.

Study. Study. More study.

Even on weekends… I had to study in the dormitory. Just when I thought I’d reached the bottom, I discovered there was an abyss below what I’d thought was hell.

The one consolation was quickly becoming friends with my classmates since we lived in the dorm together, and occasionally relieving stress by secretly ordering late-night snacks behind the dorm supervisor’s back…

“When you get to university, do whatever you want.”

Without this one promise from my parents, I couldn’t have endured.

I know.

I know that going to university doesn’t really mean I can do whatever I want.

Still, at least by then I wouldn’t have to live like a machine anymore. That alone was enough.

So I studied hard in high school just as I had in middle school, and got accepted into a good university. I even applied to the department I wanted. My parents kept their promise. Just the fact that they didn’t force me to apply to a more prestigious university or medical school felt like I could finally breathe.

‘I’ll load up on credits during freshman and sophomore years, then take it easy in junior and senior years. Considering military service in between, this makes the most sense.’

I heard complaints from classmates who entered the same university, saying it was a shame to take 42 credits in freshman year right after escaping the hell of college entrance exams, but this was the life I designed.

My parents were pleased to see me still focused on studying even after entering university, so they gave me generous allowances, but I saved most of it for later…

I packed my schedule with as many credits as possible until the first semester of junior year, and enlisted in the military a year or two later than others.

“Hey.”

“Private Ban Sunghyun.”

“Close your eyes.”

“Yes, sir.”

“What do you see?”

“Nothing, sir!”

“That’s your future.”

After finishing my adequately miserable military service.

Having packed my first five semesters with credits and built an image with my parents as “a son who studies diligently even in university”…

I only attended classes about three days a week and spent the rest… having fun.

More precisely, I did whatever I wanted.

I traveled alone, pulled all-nighters at PC bangs like I’d wanted to do in middle school, learned to play an instrument, watched manga, dramas, and web novels, experienced being a 24-hour sloth, tried various alcohols until I blacked out.

Sometimes I wanted to date, but I lacked both confidence and opportunities. I wasn’t the type who’d die without a girlfriend, nor was I brave enough to make the first move, so I was content with what I had.

So, having fun moderately, studying moderately, preparing for employment moderately…

I settled into a certain MMORPG game.

**

[Please set your character name.]

“What should I use?”

Naming was harder than I expected. I didn’t want to use something related to me, but I also didn’t want something meaningless. Whenever I thought I’d found a good name, it was already taken.

I finished character customization in less than five minutes, but spent over 20 minutes just on the name.

Wondering what to use, I checked my phone and noticed the illustration from a web novel I’d been reading.

“Wow. That illustration really is amazing.”

Looking at the noble saint and her holy, pure pouch, inspiration struck.

[‘JoanOfArcIsASaintYaKnow’ – Is this correct?]

[‘JoanOfArcIsASaintYaKnow’ is available.]

[Confirm]

[Welcome, ‘JoanOfArcIsASaintYaKnow’.]

“Nice.”

It was an embarrassing nickname I’d never admit to others, but who cares? It’s just a game.

I became completely absorbed in this game.

The story, direction, illustrations, modeling, background music were all good, but… there was so much to do, and above all, the sense of achievement was incredible.

Plus, as someone who had been oppressed and functioned like a studying machine throughout my teens, my in-game character could go wherever they wanted, catch whatever they wanted, and wear whatever they wanted.

Being happy, excited, angry, annoyed, sad…

All of life’s emotions were contained in the game.

“Wow. How many recommendations is that?”

Because I loved the game, I delved deep into it, and it was worth the deep dive. Even for the same dungeon or quest, multiple strategies emerged, and even with the same strategy, clear times varied depending on control skills and proficiency.

My posts containing strategies and routes that I’d painstakingly developed received the most recommendations and stayed at the top for a while, which felt good and motivated me to develop more strategies.

When there was nothing else to do, I’d thoroughly read the story or work on achievements to master the game’s lore.

And so, until graduation, I lived for the joy of mastering the game and receiving praise as a “strategy-obsessed maniac” from other gamers…

“Mr. Sunghyun. Ms. Seah. Nice to meet you. I’m Team Leader Han Juri.”

After getting a decent job, my absolute time became limited. I had to give up my life as a deeply involved strategy guide creator, but I didn’t mind much. It was inevitable—I needed to make a living.

But…

“Mr. Sunghyun.”

This crazy company won’t let me go home.

“Mr. Sunghyun.”

This woman who calls herself team leader but whom I mentally call a fucking bitch keeps giving me extra work.

While my fellow new hire makes up all sorts of excuses to leave right at quitting time—honestly, do they think the seasoned seniors can’t see through those transparent excuses?

Yet they let it slide. She’s a new employee, and a young woman with decent looks.

What’s worse is that she’s figured out how the company works and has started dumping her own work on me.

Using manipulative language that makes me the bad guy if I refuse.

At first, I endured it. I thought maybe this was just how corporate life worked, or maybe they gave me more work because I was good at it.

But…

“Mr. Sunghyun. About your vacation days this month, I’m afraid they’ll be rejected.”

“What? Team Leader, I definitely mentioned it at least three times.”

“I’m sorry, but we can’t have everyone out at the same time.”

“Team Leader, I was clearly the first one to request those days off…”

Ah. I realized it mid-sentence.

These fuckers have crossed the line.