Ch.137Chapter 18. Trust (7)

“Ouch.”

My voice sounded nasal with tissue stuffed in my nose.

“You’re exaggerating.”

Despite her words, Camilla’s touch became noticeably gentler. After examining my face from different angles, she declared she was finished and closed the ointment lid.

“Camilla. Don’t you think we’re being a bit childish?”

“We never really resolved things through conversation anyway, right? Always clashing and breaking. So annoying. Anyway, tell me about what you were saying earlier. How are you planning to reinfect the zombies?”

“I’m going to do it like Cybele did. Cultivate a low-concentration virus and put it in the zombies’ food. Then just toss it to them. The zombies will eat it without suspicion, and the virus will gradually build up in their systems.”

Of course, there are risks. As Cassandra said, virus cultivation is quite dangerous work. Especially something as deadly as the Crow virus.

“She says she has a plan. You know that large window in the right storage room on the first floor? She wants to use that as a cultivation lab. We’ll need to clear it out this afternoon. But she says only she should enter that room.”

“Isn’t Cassandra taking on too much risk? She’ll be exposed to the virus.”

I asked the same question. Cassandra shared her plan with me.

“She’ll obviously wear protective gear while working, and she asked for a tent entrance to be set up at the window instead of using the door. And…”

“And?”

“She wants a sunbed placed outside the entrance, in the yard. And she said absolutely not to look at her while she’s there.”

I don’t fully understand the request, but I plan to do as she asks. Camilla’s expression turned serious.

“I’m worried about Cassandra. To be honest, you have no idea how anxious she was when you were gone. So much that I started worrying too. Though I should have been worried for different reasons. But, Johan.”

“Yeah?”

“…Never mind. I’m not going to ask.”

“What is it? You’re making me curious.”

“…Did you really do it with that woman?”

This isn’t something I can deny.

“Yeah.”

“…Maybe I should have just done it too.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing. Get out of here. And stop talking with that nasal voice. It’s creepy.”

Camilla abruptly pushed me out the door.

* * * * *

I examined the food supplies in the storage room with Cassandra. We were cleaning and taking inventory while looking for food items we could throw to the zombies outside.

Even with one more person, we have enough supplies to last three months.

Water is the issue though. We’ve been boiling water from the tank and rainwater, but our supply of clean bottled water keeps diminishing.

“So Cassandra, what do you think about drinking beverages or beer instead of water?”

“That’s not a great solution. They actually cause more thirst. You’d end up consuming excessive fluids and nutrients either way, which puts strain on your body. Moreover, if you get injured and need medication, the liver of someone who regularly drinks alcohol has significantly reduced ability to detoxify…”

“Sorry. My mistake.”

Cassandra tilted her head at my response.

“What Cassandra meant was, if you really want to, mix them with water. That way you save both water and the drinks.”

Watered-down beer, watered-down cola. The thought alone is horrifying. It’s a privileged concern in our situation, but shouldn’t we maintain some human dignity?

We sorted out items that were expired or close to expiring, as well as improperly stored canned goods that had bulged. Looking at the pile, it seemed insufficient, so I added some canned cultured meat that everyone hated. It felt like chewing rehydrated tofu skin—quite unpleasant.

We moved the canned goods to the first-floor storage room for cultivation. We locked the door and sealed the gaps with plastic. We assembled metal bars to create a frame, then covered it with plastic and tarp to create an isolation chamber inside the storage room.

I suddenly remembered a senior who used to set up a tent in his room with a mat inside to save on heating bills. I wonder how he’s doing now…

“Johan?”

“Oh, yes?”

“Didn’t you hear what Cassandra said?”

“Sorry, I was thinking about something else. What did you say?”

“She asked when we’re planning to relocate. And if you have any place in mind.”

“Well… remember that place we briefly visited before? There’s a lake near here. The place Camilla said the Liberation Corps used as a training ground. If we have nowhere else to go, I’m considering that.”

But that place is truly a last resort. There are hardly any intact buildings above ground, and the underground area is damp from the lake’s moisture. The mold growing there indicates it’s not suitable for long-term stay.

“I’m looking for a place that can accommodate all four of us, where research is possible, that’s defensible, and good for hiding… but such places are usually hidden, right?”

Of course such places are hidden, and I could quickly identify potential locations by looking at a map.

But it’s difficult to simply say “let’s go here!”

I don’t know if that building exists in this timeline, and even if it does, I don’t know what condition it’s in.

It would be troublesome if we packed everything and traveled there only to find it occupied by zombie hordes or fanatic groups.

“…Then Johan, what about staying here longer?”

“I’ve thought about that too, but we were attacked by the West Republic Minsk mercenaries. We might face additional attacks, though probably not soon. Plus, according to Leticia, the Elza National Gendarmerie already knows about it.”

Cassandra’s face turned pale.

“The National Gendarmerie is coming here?”

“Fortunately, that’s unlikely. There’s no real benefit for them. Since Cybele is essentially an Elza state-owned enterprise, they already have most of the information and data. And mobilizing troops requires significant manpower and fuel—they’re already stretched thin with regional defense and won’t have resources to deploy here.”

“…Ah, I understand. We need to move eventually, but we have some time for now. That’s why we can conduct these experiments.”

“Exactly. But I didn’t expect you to like this place.”

Actually, had Cassandra ever expressed liking anything before?

“Yes. Cassandra likes it here. It’s convenient for work, research has progressed well, and the sleeping arrangements are good. There are also some pleasant memories…”

She abruptly stops speaking and clears her throat, turning her head away.

“Because of good memories?”

She nods at my question.

“Not everything was good, but still. It was… fun.”

“It will continue to be.”

I speak lightly and move to shift some boxes, but Cassandra remains standing there, looking dazed.

“Seems like being spaced out is contagious.”

“…How can you be so sure?”

“About the contagion?”

It was meant as a joke, but Cassandra looks serious. She waves her hands and shakes her head.

“No, no. Not that. About it continuing to be…”

“It’s been fun so far, so it probably will be later too. That’s only natural, right?”

I didn’t think it was particularly funny, but Cassandra laughed—a strange, short “hahit” sound.

“…Yes. I suppose so…”

“What are you talking about?”

I asked while putting down a box. Cassandra approached me with a strange smile.

“Being with Johan makes me feel strange. Like I’m floating, drifting. The tragedies happening outside seem like stories from another world. Everything just seems… like play to you. Not being discouraged by this world.”

Well, I…

“So you’re saying I’m not cut out for the apocalypse?”

“Yes…”

Standing and talking was becoming uncomfortable, so I sat on a food box. Cassandra sat on an adjacent box. The room, sealed with plastic, was dim and had the characteristic damp smell of an enclosed space, but warm summer sunlight was streaming in through the window.

“Camilla was really worried about you.”

Camilla had said it differently, but I pretended not to know.

“Was she?”

“She had a hard time. We couldn’t communicate freely, and given the situation, you went back into the city.”

Now I see—both women don’t want to admit their own worry, so they attribute it to the other person. I continued to play along.

“But it was necessary for all of us. Thanks to that, the research progressed further.”

“That’s true, but the atmosphere changed so much.”

Cassandra nervously fidgeted with her fingers.

“Did something happen?”

“No. Nothing happened. Camilla and I took turns keeping watch and everything was fine. That’s why… it was harder.”

“You mean emotionally difficult?”

Cassandra remained silent. A hot wind blew in from outside, swirling through the room. It carried the scent of flowers mixed with a faint rotting smell—zombie odor. Only after the smell dissipated did she continue.

“All I could see was fields. Abandoned buildings. Corpses and zombies. That alone didn’t bother me much. But a certain landscape came to mind that gave me chills.

A world where every living thing has turned into zombies, eventually devouring each other until only one remains, wandering the abandoned land until it dies lonely.

Buildings, houses, food—all covered in dust, but not a single bird singing in this forsaken world. When I thought about how close that world might be, I couldn’t bear it.”

Without thinking, I embraced Cassandra. I knew she didn’t particularly like such gestures, but it felt necessary.

“…’I’ created that world.”

She had reverted from Cassandra to Ophelia.

“You didn’t do it alone. You don’t need to think that way. When you look at it, there isn’t just one cause. By that logic, Römer shares the original sin too. They established a policy of using food as a weapon to control the people of Elza. Don’t think like you did it all yourself. That’s not the truth.”

Maybe it’s my fault for setting some strange mode I can’t even remember. But what does that matter? If I had known I’d be dragged into this, I wouldn’t have done it.

“So, repeat after me.”

“What should I say?”

Cassandra looked at me with wide eyes.

“Who cares.”

Cassandra burst into giggles.

“What’s that?”

“Come on, say it.”

“It’s embarrassing.”

“Try it. Close your eyes and say it.”

I covered her eyes with my hand. The corners of her mouth twitched upward.

“Who…”

Her voice trailed off at the end, but it’s a good start. I patted her gently and waited.

“Who… who… cares…”

“You’re doing great.”

“Who… cares…”

“Say it louder.”

“I already did…”

“I want to hear it once more, please. Do it for me.”

Cassandra moved closer to me. She couldn’t hold back her laughter any longer.

“Who, who cares!”

“That’s it. Who cares. Just live differently from now on.”

Cassandra grabbed my face with both hands. She pressed her lips against mine. That was the only way she could express herself. It was quite rough—my front teeth hurt a bit, but who cares? Afterward, she seemed embarrassed and pulled my face down to her chest. A warm, soft, comforting sensation.

“…Ah, please try not to go far away from now on.”

“I won’t. But I’m curious about something.”

“What is it?”

“Why did you ask for a sunbed to be placed outside?”

“Be-because Cassandra needs it. Absolutely, don’t look there, okay? Cassandra will be angry.”

She’s practically begging me to look.