Ch.135Chapter 135. I Will Never Forgive You

Lucy despaired.

She thought she had known her sins.

The warrior, who had tried to change with Rabin’s encouragement and had decided to live a life focused only on Lin after hearing the whispers of the abyss, now realized how lightly she had regarded both Lin and their past.

She felt suffocated just imagining why he wouldn’t forgive her no matter how much she begged, and how difficult and treacherous the path she wanted to take would be.

“Why are you here…?”

When she asked with a trembling voice, Elixir smiled faintly.

“Elixir is just one of the names used to refer to me. I am the embodiment of the goddess’s power. Since it’s the goddess’s power that seals Lin’s heart, naturally I should be here too, right?”

This meant that when Lucy drank the elixir and dreamed, this being was already living inside Lin’s heart.

Lin’s wounds had been piling up and festering long before that.

“Elixir, what must we do to break the seal on this heart? We need to break these chains to save Lin.”

Airan asked, but Elixir didn’t answer.

She just stared blankly.

“You sealed these emotions to protect Lin. Please tell us how to save him.”

Even when Rabin stepped forward and pleaded, the response was the same.

However, Elixir gave Rabin a sad smile.

But then she immediately shot piercing glares at everyone except Airan, Rabin, and Garin.

People flinched and avoided her resentful gaze.

The doll, who had studied human emotions for generations, spoke up in response to that gaze.

“You hate us.”

At those words, the X mark drawn on Elixir’s face shook violently.

“Of course. Did you think you wouldn’t be hated after making Lin’s heart like this? Where does such complacency come from? From your selfish hearts?”

From that intense reaction, Tigria realized everything.

“You are Lin himself. You are the embodiment of Lin’s sealed emotions. Though created by the goddess’s power, you’re another Lin born as the chains became stained with Lin’s emotions.”

“Some magician you are.”

Elixir giggled and pointed to her X mark.

“Do you know what this is? It’s proof that you all have been constantly denying me, Lin. It’s my heart that you’ve trampled on. It’s also a mark of how desperately I wanted to hide my pain.”

“That pain, our sins—we will no longer turn away from them. Please allow us to face them and pay for our crimes.”

Garin, Airan’s husband, stepped forward.

He took Airan’s trembling hand.

“In the final scene, the goddess said that only true repentance and affection could save him and earn forgiveness. Can our sincere apologies break these chains?”

Again, Elixir did not respond.

She just stared with a bored expression.

“Why aren’t you answering?”

Surprisingly, Naidryan stepped forward.

The archer, ears red with embarrassment, summoned courage with the sole determination to save Lin.

Elixir answered indifferently.

“Because you’re not someone I can answer.”

“Does that mean you cannot answer the Duke, the Duke’s husband, and the thief from the hero’s party?”

“I am the embodiment of Lin’s anger and negative emotions. So if you’re not a suitable target, I have no reason to reveal myself or talk to you.”

In other words, she could only speak with those who had sinned against Lin.

Conversely, only the three people Naidryan mentioned could stand with clear consciences before Lin.

“Go back. I have no intention of forgiving you. I’ve told you this many times already. Stop wasting time and leave.”

Elixir waved her hand and firmly ordered them to leave.

At this, Lucy knelt down.

With hands clasped together, the warrior begged.

“Please…! If we leave now, who knows what Rainfold will do to this heart. He said he would corrupt Lin before we came here.”

“That’s obviously going to happen. It was just a matter of time. I’ve only been delaying the inevitable.”

“Then Lin will become a demon!”

“Are you in any position to say that?!”

When Lucy cried out in desperation, Elixir exploded with pent-up anger.

“Luciana Estel! You’re involved in most of the countless wounds I’ve suffered!!”

The X mark shook thick and large.

Rippling like it was on fire, the X mark resembled an active volcano.

“Didn’t you constantly belittle me along with Arsil? After enduring a childhood filled with nothing but despair, when I finally dreamed of a new beginning, you appeared and disparaged my appearance for no reason, and even made me catch the Demon King’s horn with my bare hands. How dare you now ask what I’m doing?! Are you questioning why I can’t endure this pain anymore and am becoming a demon?!”

“No! That’s not what I…!”

Lucy trembled violently, desperately denying it.

The foolish woman had made another mistake.

Though she berated herself, Elixir’s anger showed no signs of stopping.

Arsil also knelt beside Lucy.

“Please give us a chance to apologize!”

“Oh for fuck’s sake! That damn apology again!”

At that nauseating word, Elixir had a fit and pointed accusingly.

“If you weren’t going to heal me properly in the end, you should have just let me die on the battlefield! You don’t even know that my left shoulder is slightly misaligned, do you? From when I was thrown back after blocking with my shield in my first monster battle! Thanks to you just leaving, I only roughly bandaged it, and the bone healed wrong. As Elixir, all I could do for myself besides sealing emotions was to painlessly rearrange the bones, tendons, and muscles whenever I lifted and moved my arm, then return them to their original state! Do you know what Lin was like before meeting me? He worked while jerking and forcibly twisting a shoulder that hurt even when still! Without showing any sign of pain! Do you even know that?!”

Arsil opened her mouth but couldn’t continue speaking.

It was something she had never known.

Self-loathing consumed even her tears.

“That was all I could do for him. But you, a healer, kept punching me until the very end. You suspected I was a demon, right? Congratulations. I’m actually a demon-in-waiting. How fortunate that you weren’t wrong! How fortunate that your punches were justified!”

Elixir raised both arms.

“The demonic energy in both these arms is already beyond healing unless it’s cut out. Even combining the holy sword and my power isn’t enough anymore.”

Then, with a cruel smile, she added:

“Arsil, did you enjoy the porridge and sandwiches made with these rotting arms?”

The saint froze completely.

Even the tears welling in her eyes seemed to freeze, trapping her in a hazy vision.

Mocking Arsil, Elixir next pointed at the archer.

“You disgusting long-eared woman who tried to love yourself through others’ approval. Was I not included among those others?”

“No… No! Lin’s letters were my only sanctuary and comfort. Only the self that Lin acknowledged helped me forget my suffering.”

“Oh! That’s because it was Investor Lee, not Lin. If the first letter you received had been signed ‘Lin Lee, the hero party’s porter,’ would you have even opened it? You only wanted to get close to those with more influence than you in the party, while ignoring me whom you considered inferior, satisfying your petty sense of superiority. That’s why you rarely showed up at camp when I eventually became the party’s center, isn’t it?”

Unlike Arsil, Naidryan closed her mouth.

Her trembling lips and shaking legs couldn’t bear the weight of her sins, and she collapsed.

With her head bowed, her face hidden behind her hair, the elf was left only with dejection.

Was there hope ahead?

Hope that could comfort the despair they had given him and make him look forward to the future…

If that hope were a target, she could at least shoot and hit it…

As the archer collapsed, Tigria, who had been behind her, appeared.

Elixir didn’t spare the magician either.

“You study love? You did ridiculous things for such a ridiculous reason.”

“I don’t deny it, Lin, I…”

“After claiming with your own mouth that you’ve measured every emotion except love, have you ever even considered that love and sacrifice are inseparable? Have you ever even felt it?”

“……”

The magician didn’t dare to refute.

But Elixir’s next words struck like a thorn.

“That’s why you’re a doll.”

It wasn’t mockery or anger.

It was a cold assessment.

A tear rolled down Tigria’s cheek.

“All of you! You’re nothing but sinners before me. You shameless bastards, you saw it all! What I went through, how I’ve lived, what pain I’ve endured to get here! What you’ve seen is just a fraction of it. Yet you crawl in here and what do you say to me? That I can’t endure anymore? That you’ll apologize now so I should forgive you?”

Finally, he pointed to his own heart.

“Two years! The sadness, pain, and anger of at least two years have been festering here with nowhere to go, and you expect me to forgive everything with just one apology? What lies at the end of that forgiveness? Right! What happened to the person who always forgave? The Second Hero, Guerrero! He forgave when his fiancée and other women all betrayed him, he forgave when his achievements were branded as treason, and he kept forgiving until the moment his head was cut off amid people’s condemnation! He ended up dying after doing nothing but forgiving!”

Step by step, Elixir approached Lucy and looked down at her coldly.

“I have nothing more to say to you.”

The blood drained from Lucy’s face.

“I am Lin. I am Lin’s pain.”

Elixir declared to everyone.

“And I am telling you. I can never forgive you.”