Ch.133Chapter 133

*Ding.*

[Sera: Speaking of which, my birthday is coming up soon. Anyone want to have a birthday party?]

*Ding.*

[Aria: I won’t be around for Sera’s birthday.]

[Sera: You won’t be at the Academy then?]

[Aria: Anyway, I won’t be there.]

[Sera: Aria will be participating. Karen, if you have time, want to grab dinner afterward? Since it’s my birthday, I’ll treat everyone.]

[Karen: Oh, I’d love to!]

At first, Karen seemed quite awkward. That was probably because she was a freshman and felt uncomfortable around third-years who were about to graduate.

I’d seen it before, but now her attitude toward Sera and Aria had noticeably softened.

I hummed to myself while holding my smartphone, looking at the screen. It made me happy to see the girls getting along so well.

I wanted to join in, but somehow I felt hesitant to type anything. I wanted to go to the birthday party, but I didn’t think I could, so I kept quiet.

Birthday parties were usually held outside the Academy, and if I asked to go there, the Professor would be surprised. I didn’t think she would allow it. Simply put, considering what had happened before and the Professor’s concerns, it was difficult to even ask.

[Aria: What about Ourr?]

As if cutting into my thoughts, Aria asked about me.

The chat room froze as if Sera and Karen were also waiting for my answer. I was blankly reading the chat when I froze along with it.

I was surprised because I didn’t expect them to ask for my opinion.

With a blank expression, I twisted the corners of my mouth. After fidgeting with my lips, I moved my small hands diligently, thinking I shouldn’t keep them waiting.

[Me: I don’t know. I think I need to ask the Professor.]

[Sera: Then try asking her. If you come, I’ll buy you all sorts of things. I’ve saved up a lot of money.]

[Me: Okay.]

[Karen: It would be fun if you came.]

Like the others said, I wanted to join them and have fun too. But given the situation, I couldn’t throw a tantrum, so I decided to be a bit restrained.

I thought that if I spoke to the Professor slowly and calmly, she might be somewhat understanding.

What would the Professor’s reaction be if I asked, “Would it be okay since Sera, Aria, and Karen will be there?” If she still said no, there would be nothing I could do, but I hoped she would say yes.

I seriously considered how to persuade the Professor without whining or throwing a tantrum.

However, before long, I thought the best approach would be to simply say I wanted to go and wait for an answer. Being honest wasn’t the same as whining.

At least, that’s what I thought.

I was lying on the bed with my phone when I got up and went to the living room to find the Professor. She was already working, typing something on her laptop.

Ouro also seemed hesitant to interrupt the Professor, as she was sitting on the sofa, staring at the Professor’s back.

“Professor.”

“What is it?”

The Professor raised her head and looked in my direction at my call. I felt a bit awkward, thinking I might have disturbed her while she was concentrating on work.

Since I’d already called out to her, the best thing to do was to quickly state my business so as not to bother her further.

“Um, Sera… said it’s her birthday soon and she’s having a birthday party. So I was wondering… could I possibly go? I’ll be good with the others and come back safely.”

Even though I usually spoke normally, when I started worrying about whether I’d get permission, I found myself stuttering slightly.

While the permission was important, above all, thinking that the Professor might feel hurt made me feel a bit suffocated.

The Professor hesitated and then glanced over at where Ouro was.

“Both Ouro and Ourr are Demon Gods, right?”

“Yes, that’s right…?”

The Professor clasped her hands together and then asked me a question.

Given the atmosphere, I felt my hands automatically coming together too. Not knowing what to do, I just stood there awkwardly, looking back and forth between the Professor’s expression and Ouro’s gaze while letting out a small groan.

The Professor, seeming to realize how uncomfortable I was, gently patted the spot next to her. Guided by her gesture, I approached her.

As I took a seat close to the Professor and looked up at her, she reached out and stroked my head.

“Danger is usually a sensation felt when a person’s life is threatened. But Ourr and Ouro are different from humans, and even different from ordinary Demon Gods, so they don’t experience death. That might make you insensitive to danger.”

“…I, I understand what danger is.”

“Even so.”

I closed my mouth, having nothing to say. What could I say when the Professor spoke like that?

I was a Demon God, different from ordinary people. But even there, I was different from ordinary Demon Gods. That’s the kind of being I was.

An immortal being, a being that could be described as undying.

Yet the Professor spoke as if she was worried about me. Not worried that I might die, but afraid that I might get hurt somewhere.

She seemed to want to say that because I had been hurt before, she didn’t want me to feel that pain again. So I had nothing to say.

If the Professor approached it that way, all I could do was bow my head.

I want my freedom. I wanted to go out and play like ordinary people, like friends, and come back with peace of mind. But while this world might be generous to humans, and even open to elves or other unusual races, it made an exception for Demon Gods.

I couldn’t be free. Regardless of anything else, the world wasn’t ready to accept me yet. Even if I insisted on being accepted, it would just be my selfishness.

“I’m afraid. Up until now, even if one died, you alternated between Ourr and Ouro. But now you’re separated. So now, will you not change and just return as you are? Can the two of you be considered complete beings?”

Huh?

The Professor’s concern was elsewhere.

It was different from what I was thinking. I thought she would say something like, “We all know you don’t die, but you still feel pain just like humans,” but I was greeted with an unexpected statement.

And even the suggestion that I might die because I wasn’t complete.

“What are you saying, Professor?”

Ouro, also surprised, opened her eyes wide and questioned the Professor. The Professor sighed deeply, as if she had expected this question.

“…So, since you said Ouro was there first, let’s say the dominance was with Ouro. Then when Ouro first died, Ourr was there, right?”

“—Yes.”

As Ouro nodded, the Professor continued as if this was where the real point began.

“Then when did Ourr first exist? Just because you first saw her then doesn’t mean she first came into existence then. Maybe you were originally one being from birth, and now death could be a point where you can return to your original state.”

“Huh?”

Ouro tilted her head, as if she didn’t understand what the Professor was saying.

It was the same for me. It was a bit difficult to grasp, so I furrowed my brow. Seeing this, the Professor took a deep breath and explained slowly from the beginning, in a way that Ourr and I could understand.

“We can’t rule out the possibility that Ouro and Ourr are immortal only when they’re in one body. Now that you’re separated, you might get confused when you die. But when you experience death to its fullest extent, I can’t guarantee that you’ll return to your adult form.”

“So we could die completely…?”

“I don’t know yet, it’s just a hypothesis.”

It wasn’t proven to be true yet. But the suggestion that it might be true was unsettling.

From the moment that uncertainty existed, we couldn’t talk recklessly about experimenting or confirming it. This wasn’t just any research; it was research about the death of a Demon God. If we crossed a river we might not be able to return from, no one knew what would happen, and no one could bear it, so we had to hesitate.

It was what the Professor feared most.

Having learned from the incident with that second-year student that someone with a grudge against Demon Gods could attack at any time, now the thought that we could die and not return was frightening.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s just that I don’t have the confidence that it’s safe yet.”

The Professor said it wasn’t my fault. But since I had brought it up, I couldn’t help feeling dejected.

My eyebrows drooped, and my shoulders slumped. The Professor gave me a gentle hug and stroked the back of my head.

“I’m sorry. I feel like I’m just making you anxious.”

The Professor whispered to me like that.