Ch.132Side Story – If Candles Could Feel Pain

# 1.

“…According to scripture, as persecution approached, the disciples urged the Prophet of Life and Death to seek refuge. But despite repeated entreaties, the Prophet remained silent.

Finally, when even his most beloved disciple urged him to flee, he pointed to a candle on the table and said:

‘If a candle could feel pain but could not speak, would you willingly extinguish its flame?’

To this, it is said the disciples could not answer.

The Church Fathers have stated that this candle allegory expresses ‘necessary sacrifice.’

It is interpreted as a metaphor for the Prophet’s mindset—that he would willingly burn himself to illuminate the world—and the disciples remained silent because they understood his intention.

However, modern theologians seem to view this passage from various angles. Today, I would like to introduce one interpretation that I found particularly striking—one that focuses on ‘the utility of a candle.’

A candle that should not be lit… what use could it possibly have? Besides waxing the floor and wiping it with a rag, nothing comes to mind.

The reason a candle becomes worthless is simple. It is because it is ‘a being created’ to burn itself and bring light to the world.

For such a being, becoming meaningless when it fails to fulfill its purpose is only natural.

What makes a good candle? One that burns for a long time, doesn’t extinguish itself capriciously, and produces no soot.

The Prophet of Life and Death willingly chose sacrifice, knowing that the longer his suffering and agony continued, the more brilliantly the world would shine.

After all, the reason he came to this earth was to bring light and fire to the world!

The candle is not a simple metaphor. Look at the soldiers who participated in the Crusades. The veterans of the Third Crusade, those who returned alive from the Fifth Crusade!

Though they fought all their lives to protect faith, justice, and truth, don’t they suffer from scars that tear at their bodies during the day and nightmares that devour their sleep at night?

But because they willingly burned themselves! Like candles, they chose to bear pain until the final moment of life!

Don’t we find peace in the light and sleep quietly under the comfortable protection of fire?

That is what sacrifice is. Not every offering of one’s life constitutes a sacrifice! How would it differ from the human offerings of that wicked Life Tree Order!

Only when obeying God’s will, a purpose higher and more sublime than what exists in my body! Only then is sacrifice complete.

It is painful. It is agonizing! But we must do it. We must endure. We must accept!

Do not succumb to bodily needs and desires. Find the mission God has bestowed upon you. Go forth for the holy fire, the sacred fire, the fire of sanctification that will willingly burn your wick.

Each and every one of you! There is a reason you were born. There is a purpose.

You are not beings created without reason! Seek! Seek! Your mission! Your noble mission!”

– Excerpt from Cardinal Benedict’s sermon, Papal Envoy, during the Mass commemorating the victory of the Fifth Crusade at the “Cathedral of Holy Wisdom” in the Imperial Capital.

# 2.

“According to scripture, when persecution approached, the disciples urged the Prophet of Life and Death to seek refuge. The Prophet replied:

‘If a candle could feel pain but could not speak, would you willingly extinguish its flame?’ The disciples, it is said, could not answer.

But to understand the true meaning of this passage, we must examine the circumstances of that time.

In the era before the Empire, when kings, nobles, and Life Tree priests formed the ruling class, the Prophet of Life and Death was not particularly popular. He denied the authority of kings and the status of Life Tree priests.

Only humble people remained by his side. The same was true of the Prophet’s disciples and followers.

Prostitutes and harlots, servants and maids, slaves, kings and nobles of fallen kingdoms, traitors and criminals, swindlers, beggars…

They were insignificant people, but there were so many of them. So many that even the most powerful state, Herod’s kingdom, could do nothing about it.

Even their position was problematic. They had settled on the sacred mountain in the center of the city-state of Arasin, and suppressing them by force would have meant the king himself sinning against the Life Tree.

Can you picture the situation? A large army of vagabonds settled on a mountain in the middle of a powerful city-state. And a small regular army surrounding that mountain.

Nobles and wealthy powerbrokers watching the king’s response without lifting a finger… neither side could easily devour the other. If they tried, both would suffer great wounds.

In this volatile situation, the Prophet of Life and Death says: ‘If a candle could feel pain but could not speak, would you willingly extinguish its flame?’

The disciples could not speak because they knew he was referring to the many people who had gathered to protect him.

Of course, among the crowd were those who had committed unforgivable sins, outlaws rejected by everyone.

Traitors who had sold out their comrades, thugs who exercised violence at will… though, admittedly, there were more of the wronged, the persecuted, the sorrowful, and the weak.

But they had something in common: they were all, for whatever reason, outcasts from society. Yet they had no way to express themselves.

The Prophet of Life and Death understood that their rebellion against King Herod was a form of ‘expression.’ He also understood that their uprising wasn’t really about becoming traitors, but about expressing the resentment in their hearts for the first time.

Seen this way, King Herod’s forceful suppression would be equivalent to ‘willingly extinguishing the flame.’

‘If there are those with grievances who cannot express them, would you kill them? Would you silence them that way?’ This is how the Prophet’s words might be interpreted.

His voluntary surrender to King Herod follows this logic.

During his trial and flogging, everyone who had surrounded him fled. Even the very few who remained eventually ran away, and he died nailed to the Life Tree.

But why is he considered so great? Because he lived a life of his own choosing, and through it, he made people realize the contradictions of the world.

As you all know, the Prophet of Life and Death was an ordinary person. He worked in a workshop until he was thirty and rarely left his hometown.

Then suddenly, he approached these rough people who were ignored and abandoned by society.

What if the owner of your favorite restaurant or theater abandoned everything and settled among homeless people and beggars? Especially if they were revered by those homeless people and beggars?

Would you think they were great and magnificent, or would you think they had lost their mind? Wouldn’t you mock them, wondering how inadequate they must feel to be playing leader among such people?

The gaze upon the Prophet of Life and Death was no different. To anyone looking, he seemed insane. It would have felt like, “Why is the neighbor putting himself through this unnecessary hardship?”

But what if that neighbor appeared barefoot before armed soldiers saying, “Take me instead of these people”? What if he was tried, flogged, subjected to all manner of humiliation, and finally hung on the Life Tree?

Wouldn’t you think, “He may have been a strange man, but he didn’t deserve to die so miserably”?

At that moment, people finally realized that countless others had died just as miserably before.

They had simply assumed, “They must have deserved to die,” and no one had questioned it.

In that situation, when someone who didn’t have to die chose death willingly, people’s eyes were finally opened.

“Ah. We have been living so wrongly.”

They say the Prophet of Life and Death brought light to the world. That is true. He awakened the people of that time to what kind of world we live in, what our world is really like.

The flawed structures. The unreasonable policies. Their own blindness to others’ candles…

If he had wanted, he could have become king. He would have implemented excellent policies. He could have become a noble, a minister, or a high priest. Being popular and eloquent, he could have made people more prosperous.

He could have become the great person everyone thinks of. Absolutely. King Herod had offered him such positions many times.

But he did not choose what the world calls ‘the better path.’ He simply remained with the people he had chosen, ‘choosing the path he wanted to walk.’

He lived the life he chose, calmly accepted its consequences, and through his entire life, gave the world enlightenment.

Therefore, I dare say—and I say this without hesitation because I myself am a member of the imperial family—

No emperor, including my father, no king or noble or priest, not even officers and admirals, is more free or greater than he was.

So, everyone. Choose and move forward. How will you live? For what will you live? Find your own meaning and move forward.

Don’t worry about what others say about your choices. That is their burden.

But reflect and awaken. Accept the consequences and grow. That is your responsibility.

Of course, there are things beyond your control. Your birth. Your innate qualities. Unexpected accidents. Unwanted outcomes. But even in those situations, remember this:

Whatever you chose, whatever decision you made, it was the right answer.

You may regret. You may hurt. Of course. There’s no guarantee that outcomes will always match your intentions.

But even that regret and pain is the right answer. Don’t settle for it, though—follow the light that your pain raises.

Sometimes meaning may be obscured by fog. What you thought was your destination might be something completely different. You might have thought you received a calling from God, but perhaps you didn’t.

Even if you reach your destination, you might fall into emptiness, not knowing where to go next.

But even that is okay. Give yourself a hug, take a deep breath in and out, and prepare to set out on your journey.

And so, see. And so, show.

Comfort the decisions of yesterday that made your today possible. Raise high the courage to live today, and walk in search of hope for tomorrow.

Congratulations on your graduation. May your future be filled with blessings.”

– Anna Kommodus’s dedication at the Imperial Capital Academy graduation ceremony.