Ch.131131 – Learned Helplessness

<131 – Learned Helplessness>

Oknodie was pitiful.

That was true objectively, and even more so subjectively.

To abuse such a pitiful child to the point of cruelty.

Do they even have a conscience?

For the first time, Morb found himself with a wish.

‘Coming to the Academy was just following my friend Zaku, that was all.’

Now it’s different.

He has his own goal now.

‘I want to set Oknodie free.’

To escape the fate of an assassin and live her own life.

She more than deserves the right to enjoy such normalcy.

“Morb. You seem quite motivated these days.”

“You should try it too. The mentoring from the Dark Association is actually really helpful.”

“Isn’t that just because you got lucky with your mentor?”

“If not a senior student, it’s usually second-year students who help. If anything, it’s more helpful, not less.”

“Really?”

Zaku’s face didn’t brighten much.

A failing candidate in the lower class.

Someone falling behind purely due to lack of talent, without dramatic point deductions like Morb.

Zaku was able to look at himself objectively.

Morb’s risk of failing and Zaku’s risk of failing were different situations.

With effort and proper guidance, Morb could certainly avoid failing.

Zaku was different.

Without any point deductions, he was becoming an inferior student purely based on his abilities.

“You’ve got nothing to lose. Just try it once.”

Morb felt sorry for his friend and wanted him to enjoy the same opportunity he had gained.

“Thanks, Morb.”

“Don’t mention it.”

But there was one thing he couldn’t leave out.

“By the way, if the seniors offer you something to eat, don’t eat it.”

“Why?”

“Just don’t eat it if I tell you not to.”

Morb had learned the valuable lesson the hard way that from now on, the only food he should eat at the Academy was what he bought with his own money.

* * *

Morb and Zaku were as close as could be without sharing blood, and Zaku really liked that.

“Man. Was my expression that obvious?”

Zaku had lost his parents to an epidemic and was left all alone.

In the plague zone where even priests hesitated to enter, he met another orphan like himself.

Morb.

He seemed like a shabby kid, not much different from himself, someone who appeared easy to get along with.

When they were young, just having a companion to survive with in that harsh plague zone was enough to make him happy.

As time passed, the friendship he felt for Morb began to turn into feelings of inferiority.

Even at the bottom of society, there are differences in talent.

How nimble are your hands?

How quickly do you learn?

How good is your memory?

Morb was better than him in every area.

This couldn’t continue.

He could tell.

Morb would become someone far greater than himself.

Even the pretense of friendship couldn’t last forever.

Equal relationships eventually end too.

In fact, equality had ended long ago.

It was only because Morb was kind that he hadn’t realized it.

For several years, Zaku had been worried about whether Morb would leave his side, and whether he could survive this harsh world alone.

‘Probably not.’

Grown birds soar high into the sky, and mature predators leave their packs to find their own territory.

-You want to become stronger?

Just when he was feeling anxious, he noticed a wandering mercenary.

Though obviously suspicious, it wasn’t the time to be picky.

He thought if he didn’t become stronger somehow, he would be alone again and die lonely.

So he approached him.

Said he wanted to become stronger.

-You must leave your friend’s side.

-Even if you beg to be sent back, you’ll suffer terribly for years, and you might even die.

-If you still want to become stronger, follow me.

Zaku made his decision.

He would follow that mercenary.

-Morb. I want to follow that person and receive his teachings.

-If our friendship remains unchanged, let’s meet again where we first met.

-I don’t know how many years it will take, but let’s meet on New Year’s Day. It’s a promise.

Ten years had passed since that promise.

Even he thought Morb wouldn’t wait.

Ten years.

In a time long enough for mountains and rivers to change, could a childhood promise still hold?

“Hey. Grown a lot?”

“Morb. Is that you?”

“What? Can’t recognize me because I’ve become too handsome?”

He had grown taller, and gained some flesh and muscle.

Morb had grown so much that his appearance alone made it hard to recognize the snotty kid from before.

But some things remained unchanged.

The same old banter.

Friendship that hadn’t changed in ten years.

And… that feeling of inferiority he had felt back then.

‘I received training for ten years. I worked so hard. And yet I still can’t even catch up to you?’

It was talent that couldn’t be overcome with effort.

The reality was that he couldn’t even keep up with Morb, who was nothing compared to the real monsters in the senior class.

Yes, he had to admit it.

-With your talent, even if you get into the Academy, you won’t last a year.

The instructor had said.

That kids like him were a dime a dozen.

Yet the reason he had taken him in ten years ago was only one.

It was because of that fierce determination to abandon even friendship and set out on an adventure.

The moment to show that determination again was approaching.

Clatter.

A small vial in his hand.

If he swallowed this, he could increase his magic power.

Of course, it was a drug given to low-ranking members.

Naturally, it wasn’t a proper item.

An incomplete product.

An experimental item.

The side effects upon consumption were enormous.

If the biological compatibility didn’t match, the consumer would die.

If the compatibility was barely there, they would die after writhing in pain and going berserk.

If there was somewhat decent compatibility, they might save their life despite the terrible pain.

If they were lucky enough to have good compatibility, they might achieve dramatic growth.

What were the odds of that?

30%?

9.9%?

0.1%?

‘Give up any expectations. I have no talent.’

After ten years in the organization, he realized.

The moment he took this drug would be his last.

The instructor had also said:

-If you get expelled from the Academy, you’ll have no more freedom in your remaining life. Be prepared to live as the organization’s dog.

He would never be able to meet Morb again.

The world of darkness.

A life wandering in the darkness where the smell of blood lingers awaits.

He stood at the entrance of a very long downhill path.

Having already taken a few steps forward.

If he resisted with all his might, perhaps he could return to the entrance.

But if it was too late, he would fall into a steep slope from which he could never return to his previous path.

The steep slope was right in front of him.

One wrong step and it’s over.

That one step was contained in the vial in his hand.

“Come on, first-year friends. Don’t look so glum. We’ll help you somehow.”

The hand holding the vial returned to his pocket.

Let’s postpone taking this for now.

Wasn’t this an opportunity that Morb had found for him?

“I look forward to your guidance, seniors.”

* * *

It seems helping with the new event was beneficial.

There’s no news of the lower class incidents and accidents that should have happened by now.

“Giselle. Really no rumors at all?”

“Is there some news you’re waiting for?”

“It’s a secret!”

That expression definitely says there is.

Giselle smiled warmly like a parent watching a child trying to hide a secret.

His mature appearance made me feel mischievous.

“Shall I tell you? If you’re that curious.”

Giselle took a deep breath, seemingly a bit surprised.

His narrowed eyes curved gently.

“I’m a naughty adult who’s interested in hearing other people’s secrets. Would you please tell me?”

“Hmm… alright! Since it’s just between us, I’ll tell you for free.”

Actually, revealing secrets carelessly isn’t good.

NPCs knowing what’s about to happen doesn’t always lead to positive results.

They might cause bigger accidents trying to prevent something.

An accident that would have ended with minor injuries might worsen to serious injury or death.

But Giselle is an intelligent character who’s meticulous about self-management, so it should be fine, right?

“A failing student from the lower class is going to cause a casualty this week.”

“…Interesting information. Could you also tell me the source?”

“Hmm. It’s too troublesome to explain, so I’ll keep that a secret!”

Giselle fell into thought.

Realizing his attention had drifted away from me, I lost interest as well.

I should focus on the lecture!

* * *

Looking at Oknodie’s back, Isabelle asked.

“How was it?”

“Just as Arcadia said. The Foundation is planning to cause a casualty this week.”

“…Did Oknodie know about this too?”

Being merely used and knowing about the crime are different matters.

“Surely… she’s not an accomplice?”

“I don’t think so. It might be better if she were.”

Giselle couldn’t hide his troubled feelings.

“Oknodie is simply indifferent about it. About the casualty that’s about to happen.”

“Why…? Oknodie is a good child.”

“Have you heard of learned helplessness?”

“What’s that?”

“It’s when someone stops trying and gives up because they believe ‘it won’t work anyway’ or ‘it won’t change anyway.’ It’s the phenomenon of giving up effort when it seems worthless.”

In his view, Oknodie’s passive attitude stemmed from learned helplessness.

“If she’s already experienced similar situations multiple times, tried to ask for help or prevent them, but failed every time… then her reaction makes sense.”

This isn’t something a child should experience.

It’s harsh enough to break even an adult’s spirit.

Just hearing about it fills one with fear.

Does assassin training really need to go this far?

Isabelle was appalled.