Ch.128128. Time to Return

“What?”

Was it because of my confident answer? Aria looked rather bewildered.

Before she could properly react, I made a suggestion to her.

“Then let’s look for the real Deus together, shall we?”

“…Look for the professor?”

“Yes, if we go up to the roof and look down at the academy, don’t you think we might find Deus?”

Aria seemed confused by my words but started following me, carried along by the momentum. Even so, I could feel the chilling presence of her mana, ready to pierce through my body at any moment.

Eventually, Aria and I arrived at the dormitory rooftop. Thanks to the others, we managed to avoid running into anyone else along the way.

“If we look down at the academy, we might see something.”

At my words, Aria slowly approached the railing, then stopped abruptly and glared at me.

“Why do you have a face similar to the professor’s but speak so differently?”

Perhaps it was like the reaction of someone seeing their favorite character ruined. Aria seemed quite displeased with my way of speaking, which made me smile subtly.

“Because you’re not seeing me as Deus.”

I didn’t want to speak like Shinwoo Kim while in Deus’s body.

I wanted to keep Shinwoo Kim and Deus as separate people. That’s why I deliberately changed my speech pattern to something completely different, and I avoided talking about myself unless absolutely necessary.

“I’m someone other than Deus, after all.”

“…I, suppose.”

Perhaps thinking she was being manipulated, Aria frowned slightly but agreed.

“So just think of it that way. I’m just someone you don’t know.”

“…”

Though confused and suspicious, Aria watched as I slowly extended my hand to point at the field below.

There were first-year students training in preparation for their upcoming practical exercise.

Among them, Elenoa was clearly standing out, and other supporting characters from the original story like Happy, Forentia, Leorus, and Jin were also noticeable compared to the other students.

“Ugh.”

Looking at them, Aria slightly frowned as if experiencing a headache.

But I asked her as gently as possible.

“Those children were your friends, weren’t they?”

“…No. They’re all fake.”

Aria still thought the students were fake due to Capgras syndrome. But I nodded in agreement. After all, Aria was actually right.

“That’s correct, they’re not the friends you knew. The friends in your memories who went on adventures with you, shared friendship, traveled together, ate meals, and shared happiness and sorrow—they’re gone now.”

“…”

Aria slowly turned her head. Her gaze was fixed on me.

“But they’re not fake.”

“Not… fake?”

“Yes, because as you know, everything has started over.”

I don’t know why she developed Capgras syndrome. Was it because she couldn’t overcome the discrepancy with the previous cycle, a side effect of regression, or simply because she mentally cornered herself due to pressure?

Whatever the reason, she always moved toward the right answer, and I thought that perhaps even this illness binding her was a step toward the truth.

“You can no longer meet the people you once knew.”

“Ah.”

“You know it too. Enough to feel that all of this is fake.”

“Ah, ah.”

Aria’s gaze turned away again. Looking at her old friends laughing and enjoying their youth in the distance.

“Why… am I not there?”

The words fell heavily.

It was hard to believe that her excessive aggression was simply due to her obsession with me. If that were the case, there would be no need to show such a thorny attitude toward other students.

Aria hated it.

The fact that her friends didn’t remember her.

That despite unintentionally abandoning the world to save her friends, even those friends had forgotten the tragedy.

She hated it, so she rejected it.

Looking at Aria’s hunched back as she sobbed pitifully, I continued speaking.

“And even the Deus you loved no longer exists in this world.”

“…!”

Aria’s back trembled with a start. Her shaking hands forcibly gripped the rooftop railing. Without that support, she seemed about to collapse.

“You saw it yourself. You saw Deus die.”

“Ah…”

What could I do for her?

I had thought about it a lot.

The Deus of the first cycle.

No, what could I do to restore the distorted Aria created by Shinwoo Kim of the first cycle?

I pondered it countless times, reconsidered it repeatedly, and revised my approach over and over.

Was there a way to make it less painful? Was there a way for her to be less hurt?

But.

There was no such method.

The obsession and dependence that Shinwoo Kim from the first cycle had engraved in Aria had taken root so terribly, grown thorns, and firmly established itself.

To remove it.

I had no choice but to kill the root itself.

I had to kill Shinwoo Kim from the first cycle with my own hands.

“The Deus you love is gone now. He’s already dead, and the Deus in this world now is a completely different person.”

“Ah.”

Aria couldn’t respond, which was evidence that she had been thinking something similar subconsciously. After all, the me from the first cycle and the current me were very different people.

“That’s…”

“Aria, you need to accept it.”

“…”

Aria’s body trembled.

Teardrops fell, wetting the ground at her feet.

This was something I could only say now, when she recognized me as someone else. If she had been thinking of me as Deus as usual, she might have just let these words slide.

But her heart and mind were screaming.

That this Deus was fake.

That he was someone else.

So Aria had no choice but to accept it. Everything, even I myself, was telling her that I wasn’t the Deus she knew.

“Why…”

It was a kind of complaint.

I didn’t bother to answer, and she wasn’t expecting an answer either.

“Why, why, why?! I did my best… My family, the professor, my friends. I just wanted to save everyone!”

“…”

“Why is this happening! Why did everyone leave me! Why has everyone forgotten all those memories we shared together!”

Losing strength, Aria fell to her knees and covered her face with both hands.

Even so, her tears mercilessly flowed through the gaps between her fingers.

“Why do I have to see you all? You’re all different people! None of you remember me! We said goodbye! So why are you all still here! Leaving me behind! Laughing and talking! Enjoying yourselves!”

“…”

“I’m still in so much pain! I still can’t forget you all! I, I, I still!”

With tears streaming down her face, Aria’s forehead touched the ground. Her tears continued to pour out with no sign of stopping.

“I want to see you all!”

I don’t know how much time passed after that. Just watching the sunset sky, I waited while the girl continued to shed the tears she had been holding back all this time.

I knew that no amount of time would be enough for her to release all the resentment she had been harboring.

“Ra, ther.”

With a hoarse voice, Aria spoke while still curled up. Although her body seemed completely drained of energy.

She sought an answer from me.

“If I forget everything, will I be free?”

“…”

“If I forget my feelings for the professor, my memories with friends, everything I’ve done—will I be free?”

Only after hearing it all did I realize it wasn’t a question. It was a wish.

What would you do if you won the lottery?

Wouldn’t it be nice to get first place on the midterm exam?

What if my parents were actually wealthy?

The kind of trivial yet age-appropriate wishes and fantasies.

She wanted to forget.

That’s what Aria was wishing for.

But.

“That’s not freedom.”

I couldn’t allow that.

I couldn’t let it happen.

I couldn’t let you forget everything you’ve done.

“It’s just escape and repetition. Eventually, you’ll end up exactly like you are now.”

Slowly.

Very slowly, Aria raised her head.

With trembling hands, she grabbed the rooftop railing again and stood up, glaring at me.

With fierce hostility.

“So what! What’s wrong with that? Nobody, nobody remembers anyway. Nobody knows! There’s no one who remembers me!”

Clenched fists.

A voice cracked from exhaustion.

A tear-stained face.

The pitiful girl was convinced that her past had no value.

“Then I can forget everything I’ve done too, can’t I? Something as worthless as my life can be treated as if it never existed, right?”

“I remember.”

But that was limited to just this continent.

“…What did you say?”

“And I found salvation by watching your life.”

A little further beyond.

Beyond the world, beyond dimensions.

“I think I understand why I came to this world.”

A boy who found salvation by watching the story of a girl who persevered through tragedy.

“It was to return what I received from you.”

The time had come to give back the salvation he had received to the girl.