Ch.125Afterword.

Hello, this is the author.

This is definitely my third afterword, but somehow it feels awkward like I’m writing one for the first time.

When I first started writing this novel, I thought that since this was my third work, I would try to be mindful of my chronic issues like word count control.

But due to various personal circumstances, I ended up continuing the serialization out of habit while feeling drained, so I couldn’t pay attention to pacing and other elements, which left me with many regrets.

Still, when I first wrote about the apocalyptic broadcast—not the first chapter of this current novel, but my very first attempt at this theme—I was overwhelmed about how to develop the story. I’m really glad that somehow it turned into a story that I myself can be satisfied with.

At the very beginning, I thought I’d write about 60 chapters, then maybe 80, then perhaps 100 would be enough… but look where we ended up.

Even though there are parts I wish I could have included in one go or explained more clearly for easier reading, I don’t think there were any scenes I regret writing.

Actually, there were some places I wanted to include but couldn’t. Like an empty amusement park still in operation, or the scenery of a city where everyone is dead wearing smiling masks… Even with the hospital, I could have included a more apocalyptic hospital scene.

But as I often groaned in my author’s notes, I was already overwhelmed just continuing the immediate story, so the notes I scribbled down thinking “I’ll write this someday” never saw the light of day.

Anyway, if you ask whether there are more good points or regrets, unlike Mori who truly did everything she could, I have many regrets.

But even though I fell down again and again, I managed to crawl to the finish line, and since it meets my minimum standard of what I consider important—whether it stands as a complete story—I’ve decided to consider that an achievement in itself.

And all of this was possible thanks to all of you who watched over this clumsy author and her writing until the end. If no one had been reading, I would have given up, but because you were there, I was able to reach the end, even if slowly.

If I hadn’t felt the need to write this story, I probably would have lived an even more rock-bottom life. And then sunk without ever escaping.

As a still shy and awkward author, let me say something I can only say in a place like this:

Yes, I’m grateful and I love you all. No matter what fancy words I try to use, I keep coming back to just this. Thanks to you, I was able to complete this novel, and though I’m still awkward, I’ve been able to breathe and live in this space.

Hoping that all of you who made me feel happy and entertained at the end of difficult days will also have happy and bright lives.

I’ll end this brief afterword here.

And now it’s time for some reflection, feedback, and thoughts. Mostly about the characters.

About Mori—I don’t have much to say. She’s the protagonist I wrote with the most immersion, and her journey—waking up in an unknown realm, adapting to life, experiencing a fall, overcoming it, and finally determining her own life form and its end—hasn’t changed from what I initially planned. The hint that she would put a gun in her mouth was there from the beginning.

If there’s anything I regret, it’s that I wanted to include more scenes of conflict between her identity as a boy and her rational self as Mori. But I was afraid the story would become too deep and overwhelming, so I only hinted at the end that she had been thinking about it.

Regarding Robot—I have many regrets. I could have utilized him better.

I wanted to show his confusion between mechanical rules and emotions, or his anguish about what he could do when Mori was wandering, but he ended up being just a simple secretary or reaction character, which is disappointing.

Initially, I planned for Robot to be the first to ask skeptical questions about the human world → Mori would share her thoughts, and they would have bittersweet but resonant exchanges like “Is that so? Yes, that’s how it is.” I regret not being able to include that.

And Puppy is, well, a puppy. I did consider scenes where he might sacrifice himself for Mori in dangerous moments or leave first when they were in Paradise, but I didn’t want to write something that depressing, so he remained Mori’s healing companion until the end.

While Robot was the one who provided conversation and direct help, Puppy was actually the greatest comfort. After all, he was the one who stayed closest during the drive.

As for Eugene—I intended to write him as a representative figure among past characters who accepted things, but when I wrote it, he seemed to float alone without opposing viewpoints. That’s unavoidable given the time period, I suppose.

But in a situation where future broadcasts are already coming, opposition itself doesn’t make sense, and even if there were opponents, the world is ultimately led by those who take initiative, so I think he kept his place well enough.

If we look at Eugene’s life alone, it would be something like: becoming a researcher at a young age → gaining recognition for AI-related achievements → starting research to change the future → achieving those results decades later and retiring with satisfaction… So unknowingly, he probably lived the happiest life.

As a very minor aside, I occasionally hinted that someone inhabited Mori’s drone—that was the cloned personalities of several people including Eugene. I wanted to include this but couldn’t find the right place. Since it didn’t significantly impact the overall story, I left it as a MacGuffin.

Now about the story—

The story didn’t change much from my initial concept. While there are differences in details, I think I maintained the main flow: the future and past accidentally connecting—realizing this and parting—meeting again and then separating.

Regarding time, I intentionally kept it ambiguous. For instance, questions like what came first, or who made Mori’s drone and when. Whether history was given to an already existing drone, or whether giving that history was itself part of the drone’s history.

This is partly because distinguishing becomes meaningless at the point of observation, but I think the order isn’t important anyway. This isn’t a hard SF novel written with the protagonist’s understanding in mind, but more of a post-apocalyptic story with philosophical undertones.

I focused more on questions like: If all worlds come full circle and the same moment arrives again, would we make the same choices? Or the desperation and sublimity of humans who continue what they’ve decided despite the pain.

Since I somewhat excluded scientific verification and causality, I’ll leave the interpretation of various contradictory parts to each reader.

Now that I’ve written pretty much everything worth mentioning, let me answer some Q&As:

1. The ending was decided from the beginning.

2. Humanity, having obtained many technologies early on—from increased lifespan to solving resource shortages—lived happily for a long time, just as Mori wished.

Of course, being a society with various causes and relationships, it wasn’t entirely peaceful. While technology developed in some places, countries that couldn’t keep up suffered… Some people might have lost their jobs and lived precariously until all of society became prosperous.

Still, they had both the leisure and technology to prepare for coming disasters, so even if daily life was difficult, they lived well without facing extinction like in Mori’s world. And in that world, wouldn’t Mori’s name live on forever? Perhaps even appearing on unified currency?

Oh, speaking of living on, a few books were published under Mori’s name, just as she wished. The content was very academic or profound and complex, so they didn’t sell well… but they were remembered by those studying space-time even centuries later. The interesting thing is that even after hundreds of years, they had only just approached the era in which Mori lived.

3. The people who left for space didn’t go with certainty that they could live there, but rather with hope and without a clear plan, so the probability of arriving at a habitable land was truly slim.

They were more likely to be caught in another planet’s gravity and crash, wander the vast universe forever, or be hit by passing meteors.

But because I hope for a good future for all those who took the courage to try, I’d like to think they eventually found a green planet.

This concludes my afterword.

If you have any questions, please leave them in the comments, and I’ll come back to answer them later. I’ll be away for about a month, so my responses will come later.

Thank you so much for everything.

This was author Kkokkkoki.

The final gunshot echoed in the quiet world.

No sensation came from the body that collapsed onto the cold snow, surrounded by splattered blood.

At least it doesn’t hurt, that’s good.

As even the last remaining consciousness faded away,

Looking at the brightening sky in the distance one last time.

If I could be born again,

I’d like to live with everyone under such a clear sky.

Though impossible, dreaming of a life that brings joy just by thinking about it.

I closed my eyes without regret.

“――――――.”

“――――!”

“―――?!”

And not long after closing my eyes, something strange happened.

It felt like barely a few seconds had passed, but suddenly there was commotion all around.

Light touched my eyes, which should never have opened again.

And in a world where everyone including myself should have disappeared, human voices could be heard.

Was I dreaming before death, seeing my life flash before my eyes?

Or had angels come down to take me to heaven after all my suffering?

I wasn’t sure, but the warmth I felt in my body, which had lost all sensation, was incredibly comforting.

After what seemed like a long time,

A floating sensation that felt endlessly long yet fleeting at the same time finally ended.

“…Huh?”

I was able to open my closed eyes again with my own body. There was no mirror in the room, but the scar on my leg was the most definitive evidence.

Opening my eyes inside a large, inexplicable capsule, I began walking aimlessly out of the empty room, just like when I first opened my eyes.

I put on something resembling a patient gown that was hanging on a coat rack and followed the arrows on the wall down the corridor.

My body wouldn’t move properly. I staggered and fell repeatedly as I walked. But the pain I felt each time was proof of life.

I surely should have died, so what happened? Was the voice I heard an illusion? Even if someone had been there, I should have had a hole in my head, so how was this possible? Was this just a fantasy I was experiencing while dying?

Using my confused mind and wildly beating heart as fuel, I continued walking.

And at the end were—

“Ah, Mori! You’re finally awake!”

“Woof!”

Friends who were so familiar to me.

“Welcome, Mori. Congratulations on crossing over to this world.”

Numerous people in white gowns whom I had never seen before in my life.

And finally, through the vast window—the view of a bright and magnificent city.