Ch.121Chapter 20. Love……? (1)

It was a few days after the chairman had contacted me offering help.

As expected, I completely bombed the midterm exams that followed shortly after. Hayun and the other magical girls somehow managed with what they’d previously learned, but I was the type who quickly forgot anything I hadn’t reviewed or prepared for.

Normally, I would have despaired over this fact.

Hadn’t I been thinking about wanting to stay by Hayun’s side? I thought I needed some kind of qualification for that.

Looking back now, I wonder what use any of that would be.

Even after learning about my true nature, Hayun showed no intention of leaving my side. Instead, she talked about love and such things, determined to stay right beside me.

Even when she heard my exam scores wouldn’t be great, she just offered light comfort without seeming particularly disappointed.

I mean, honestly, how could I judge anything beyond the fact that there was someone right in front of me saying they “liked” me and “loved” me?

It’s easy to think emotions are false.

But my mind refused to take that easy path.

Despite appearances, I’m someone who can activate a hope circuit. And that hope gives me the ability to see situations in a slightly brighter light.

Looking at Hayun’s bright smile, it wasn’t easy to think it was “fake.”

As a result, I was in this strange state where I had completely failed my exams but oddly didn’t feel bad about it—a feeling I couldn’t quite put into words.

If anything, I was just glad school ended early during exam period.

Of course, it wasn’t all good. With my friend in the hospital, my mood remained steadily neither good nor bad.

And so, after several days of this ambivalent feeling—

“…What is all this?”

It was now May, truly spring in every sense.

When I returned to the orphanage, I found many large boxes stacked up. They all seemed to have been opened once and then resealed, with multiple layers of different colored tape.

“Deliveries, they said.”

The teacher looked at the boxes stacked almost as tall as me with a perplexed expression.

“We don’t know who sent them, but experts have checked them before they arrived here. They said there’s nothing dangerous, but…”

I approached the boxes with a slight furrow in my brow.

There was something like a shipping label attached to the boxes, but the sender field was blank.

Only my name was written in the recipient field, along with the orphanage address.

I rummaged through my backpack and took out a small utility knife.

Extending the blade slightly, I carefully cut through the tape on the box.

Opening the lid—

“Hmm.”

James, who had somehow climbed onto my shoulder, muttered as he peered into the box with me.

“These appear to be equipment sent by the chairman.”

The box didn’t contain an overwhelming number of items. To prevent damage during transit, the items were firmly secured with styrofoam much larger than the items themselves.

An antenna that looked like it might be used for cable TV, a laptop much thicker than normal ones, devices resembling large military walkie-talkies… Though smaller than the boxes, the items inside weren’t exactly small in absolute terms.

“These must be the promised equipment.”

“Indeed. They likely connect with your pagers as well. Setting these up in your room should create something of a command center atmosphere.”

There were also devices with tiny buttons that seemed impossible for human hands to operate. Like something a hamster might use as a keyboard.

“Do we really need these?”

Until now, the magical girls had fought well enough without such things.

It’s not like we didn’t have something resembling a headquarters, but all we really did there was eat and go about our daily lives. We did plan strategies while looking at maps using Cherry’s device, but…

“Being able to see mission situations in real-time would be good,” Cherry said.

“It’s not just radios and computers. There are also lots of remotely controlled drones. With this much, we won’t lack anything when supporting you.”

“…”

I wondered what the chairman was thinking, providing this kind of support.

I suddenly felt that he wasn’t just looking to catch Pungpung. If that were the case, there wouldn’t be much of a problem now. We had already cut off most of Pungpung’s largest assets and personnel.

…No, maybe.

Maybe the chairman is thinking about some other force? Something we couldn’t defeat without additional support.

I still don’t know.

We haven’t raided the complex again yet.

Originally, we planned to corner the current chairman Pungpung and then raid the complex when she gathered forces to protect herself.

Somehow, we ended up chasing Pungpung herself instead.

Is it because of my inherently dark personality? Why do I get this ominous feeling when thinking about the complex currently being searched by the police?

“So…” Rose spoke up in a somewhat cautious voice, unlike her usual self.

“Where should we put these? Is it okay to keep them in your room?”

I was momentarily at a loss for words.

Looking at the teacher, she nodded with a wry smile.

“You’ve practically fixed half this building yourself. If anyone has the right to use the building, wouldn’t it be you?”

I felt a bit embarrassed at the teacher’s words.

To be honest, I had some reservations. This was an orphanage, after all. A place with children. Was it right for us to use it like a base when we were always preparing for battle?

But I couldn’t think of another location. And that abandoned house probably has an actual owner somewhere.

Above all, the orphanage was protected because I was here. The thought of leaving again and having Jihye experience something like last time was terrifying.

“Thank you,” I finally answered with a slight bow.

*

We brought the equipment into the room from afternoon until evening.

Fortunately, there wasn’t much of a problem with space once I put the record player and CDs from the desk into a box and stored them in the warehouse.

My and Jihye’s desks, which had looked like student desks just this morning, now resembled something of a field command center.

I was feeling a bit sorry toward Jihye for the grotesque transformation when she suddenly spoke up.

“Let me help too.”

Unlike the timid and somewhat intimidated appearance she had shown until recently, Jihye looked confident. The Jihye who shared a room with me.

“I don’t want to just be protected while you’re fighting.”

“But…”

I hesitated to answer.

It was difficult to agree right away because Jihye didn’t have the power to transform into a magical girl.

But explicitly telling her she didn’t have that power also felt a bit…

“I can help from here.”

As if she knew exactly what I was thinking, Jihye continued to look straight at me as she spoke.

“I’ll learn hard!”

Jihye’s words sounded almost like a child’s tantrum.

But because it seemed that way, it also appeared more desperate.

The magical girls’ gazes gathered on me, as if waiting for my answer.

I looked at Hayun, but she just nodded with a slight smile.

That meant she was leaving this choice entirely to me.

“Jieun,” Cherry spoke up from the desk, and I turned to look at her.

Cherry said with a slight smile, “The more people helping, the better. Especially when it comes to monitoring situations from a place like this.”

As I was looking at Cherry, who spoke as if it was no big deal, James chimed in.

“As it happens, we have one spare circuit. I don’t know if it was included as a backup for you all or for some other purpose… Well, the chairman must have his reasons. Since Cherry and I can’t use it, it would be good for an Earthling to have it.”

What James showed was a circuit almost identical in shape to the one I had.

I couldn’t tell if it was a despair circuit or a hope circuit.

“While the chairman isn’t a Squeakean, he is well-versed in circuit technology. So if it can work, it will definitely work.”

I took the circuit James held out.

The circuit didn’t activate in my hand. I’m not sure why yet. Maybe there are specific conditions—ah.

Could this be a circuit made based on the idea that man heard and took with him?

“…”

With somewhat mixed feelings, I stared at the circuit for a moment before handing it to Jihye.

I didn’t know if Jihye would be able to use it.

But at least each of us already had a circuit we could use.

If anyone needed this one, it was Jihye.

As for how to use it, well, we could figure that out slowly. If well-made, even ordinary people can use circuits to some extent. Usually, such circuits are closer to despair circuits than hope circuits.

…That company calling them “circuits of courage” feels like ancient history now.

Perhaps because it was coming from me, Jihye accepted it with a bright expression and put it on her wrist.

The screen seemed to light up faintly. But it didn’t emit light like when I used my circuit.

“So, you’re giving me permission?”

“There’s nothing to permit. If you want to help me, then help.”

When I said that with a smile, Jihye beamed back at me.

*

That evening.

After dinner, I was lightly organizing the items in my bag.

The children had gone out to do their own things.

Hayun seemed to want to stick by my side, but she left the room with a somewhat disappointed expression, perhaps feeling she couldn’t just hang around while all the other magical girls were helping with orphanage duties.

Jihye was also away for some reason, so when I came to my senses, I was alone in the room.

“…”

I scratched my head for a moment.

It seemed the magical girls felt an unnecessary guilt toward me. They kept trying to do things without including me, which bothered me a bit.

I know they’re being considerate, but…

…Actually, our relationship becoming like this is ultimately my fault. When they followed me and stayed with me, I was the one who said those things one-sidedly.

After thinking about that, I felt a bit uncomfortable just staying in the room alone, so I went outside.

Rose, Dalia, and Delphinium were playing with the children.

To be honest, I’m not the type who unconditionally loves children. My rough personality shows even in front of children, so I sometimes get annoyed when they keep asking the same questions or repeating the same things.

No matter what, I couldn’t get angry at kids so much younger than me, so I held back many times, and perhaps because of that, the kids didn’t seem to dislike me.

Hmm.

Looking at the kids hanging on both of Rose’s arms, I guess that wasn’t entirely true.

Of course they’d prefer the magical girls who treat them warmly over me with my gruff responses. I understand.

Besides, magical girls are practically celebrities in this world.

Dalia was just as popular as Rose, and, well, even Delphinium, who was more taciturn than me, was popular too.

Should I feel bitter about this? Seeing that even the pubescent kid who was particularly cold to me was among them, maybe not.

Ju-a also seemed to have somehow ended up with those three, looking awkward among the children.

Her somewhat blunt personality—someone who likes children but doesn’t know how to interact with them—was clearly visible on her face, which was a bit amusing.

But Hayun and Jihye weren’t there.

Were they outside the building?

Thinking about it, it’s a rather unusual combination. Actually, the combination of Jihye and any of the magical girls is unusual.

Like any child her age, she seemed to have some interest in the entertainment industry, but thinking about it again, Jihye’s interest was mainly in Hayun. Even then, it might have been because she knew I was close to Hayun, and she might not have been that interested otherwise.

She would just browse the internet on her smartphone during breaks and share whatever information caught her eye with me.

“Hmm.”

It wouldn’t be strange if they had become friends in the meantime…

Last time, Hayun had joined in while Jihye and I were talking.

Wouldn’t it be okay for me to join them too?

*

The first person I found outside was Hayun.

Normally, she might have played with the orphanage children like the others. Hayun had always been a diligent child in front of others, always trying to maintain that image.

Jieun had told her she didn’t need to do that, but still. Once you’ve shown a certain side of yourself, it’s not easy to change your attitude afterward.

Afraid of disappointing others. Afraid of disappointing Jieun, Hayun had steadfastly maintained that image.

To be honest, it was a bit tiring. At those times, being beside Jieun had been her refuge.

But now that she knew Jieun was also very tired, she couldn’t just keep relying on her.

So she was out here—though that might sound a bit strange.

“There you are.”

Hearing Jihye’s voice, she turned around.

Hayun was sitting in the same spot where Jieun had sat last time. She wondered if Jihye might say something about it, but she didn’t.

Jihye approached with a slight smile and sat down beside her.

The two sat in silence for a while.

Jihye was the first to speak.

“I thought Jieun was popular at school.”

“Huh?”

Hayun blinked at Jihye’s somewhat unexpected comment.

“You know, I thought she’d be popular with boys. She’s pretty and has a nice figure. I’m not sure what her personality is like at school.”

Jihye said with a smile.

“But she still didn’t have a boyfriend, right? So if someone starts dating Jieun, they’d be her first.”

“Um…”

As Hayun tried to figure out Jihye’s intention, Jihye continued somewhat happily.

“By the way, I’m surprised. Jieun said she’s never received a confession. Was it because there weren’t many boys around?”

“Jieun said she’s never received a confession?”

“Huh?”

Jihye turned with a puzzled expression at Hayun’s response.

“…That’s what Jieun told me. That she’s never received a confession.”

“Hmm?”

Hayun tilted her head.

She wasn’t sure what Jihye was trying to say, but as far as Hayun remembered, it wasn’t true that Jieun had never received a confession.

“She has received confessions. She got one at the beginning of this year too.”

“Huh?”

An even more confused sound escaped from Jihye’s lips.

“She had to be popular with boys, right? I could understand if someone told me she was the first love of every boy in her class.”

“Huuuh?”

Jihye had a dumbfounded expression before it turned slightly angry.

“She clearly told me she’s never received a confession.”

“…”

Hayun thought for a moment before she could guess the reason.

“Ah, I see.”

“What do you see?”

“That’s probably not a lie.”

“Huh?”

“Jieun probably didn’t think those confessions were directed at her.”

“…What do you mean they weren’t directed at her?”

“Well, um.”

Hayun hesitated whether to say this or not, but decided to just tell her. It seemed impolite not to after coming this far in the conversation.

“I was also, um, popular with boys. And Jieun was always with me.”

“…”

Jihye quietly looked at Hayun as she spoke.

“So, um. I think she believed they weren’t confessing to her but to me. Like they were confessing to Jieun, my friend, first to get closer to me.”

It was incredibly embarrassing after saying it out loud. Talk about excessive self-consciousness.

But what could she do? Jieun really did think that way.

“…That kid has a lot of issues in many ways.”

Jihye said with a heavy sigh.

“So anyway, she didn’t have anyone she was ‘dating,’ right?”

“Well, um…”

Hayun answered somewhat flustered at Jihye’s question.

It was only after hearing Jihye’s next words that Hayun could vaguely understand what Jihye was trying to say.

“So if someone dates Jieun, they’d be her first anyway.”

As she said this while looking ahead, there was a certain fighting spirit in Jihye’s eyes.