Ch.11Shh(2)

Asena stepped closer, pressuring me.

Why was she acting like this to my face when she’d been talking about me behind my back? It was so confusing.

“…I didn’t eat.”

I answered her at least.

Kirsy jumped around me excitedly, then climbed onto my back.

She wrapped her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck.

“But why were you alone in your room? I was looking everywhere for you!”

Yet my eyes couldn’t leave Asena.

The situation was so incomprehensible that I couldn’t look away.

Should I ask her?

Why she said those things. If she really disliked me. Since when she felt that way. Why she was approaching me now.

But then I asked myself: would anything change if I questioned her?

Growing older has taught me that when you overhear gossip, you should pretend you didn’t hear it.

If you start scratching at it trying to resolve things, you might end up with something messier than when you started.

Would my heart feel better if Asena said it was all a lie?

Some part of me would always believe those harsh words spoken when I wasn’t there were the truth.

And if she confirmed it? If she said she never thought of me as a brother? What would change then?

Our false peace would end, and we’d be left with a relationship full of conflict.

Maybe that’s a battle we could endure in an Academy already filled with political intrigue.

Besides, Asena is the family head.

If she’s exposed, it’s no different than exposing the entire Praester family.

If I stirred up trouble trying to uncover the truth, the people affected wouldn’t be just one or two.

There are hundreds working at the Praester mansion, and tens of thousands if you include everyone in the territory they manage.

It’s not like my life is at stake.

Would it be right to throw their foundation into chaos just because my feelings are a little hurt?

“…Brother?… Why are you looking at me like that?”

Asena asked.

“…Asena.”

My lips trembled. My body was as confused as my mind. I didn’t know whether to ask or not.

“…Yes?”

With Kirsy still on my back, I stepped closer to Asena. She didn’t back away.

I looked at her expression… and patted her head.

“Sorry, class was so hard that I fell asleep while taking a short rest.”

I made my decision.

Even if Asena dislikes me… I still care for her. That’s why it hurts so much.

I decided to cover this up too. Pretend I didn’t hear. Act like I know nothing. I didn’t want to break this peace.

“Oh? Brother, me too.”

Kirsy climbed down from my back and stood beside me.

I chuckled and ruffled her hair too.

Asena complained with dissatisfaction.

“…Next time, please tell us.”

“I will.”

“……..”

“Lighten up. I’m sorry. People will think you’re a statue with that face.”

I teased her, pinching her cheek. Would she hate even these little jokes now?

Now every single action caught in my throat.

…But this is who I am. It’s not like I can hide my true self…

After that, I kept quiet. I only responded to Kirsy’s cheerful questions.

I didn’t pry into anything. There was no need to dig deeper and risk breaking our relationship.

If she disliked me.

If she never thought of me as a brother.

If I made her uncomfortable.

We could just quietly grow distant.

I could gradually reduce the behaviors that made her uncomfortable.

It was something only I needed to know.

****

The next morning, I forced my heavy body to rise.

It felt like I was wearing layers of clothes soaked in water.

The reason was obviously Asena’s words.

I acted like nothing happened in front of her, but inside I was rotting away.

“….Sigh…”

But I couldn’t just lie here.

No matter how much my heart screamed to take the day off, I had to attend class.

It had only been two days since I started at the Academy.

There was no way I could get a good evaluation if I started skipping already.

I opened the door and came out.

Eric was sitting on the sofa drinking tea.

“You’re up?”

Unlike me, he was already fully dressed in his Academy uniform.

As expected of a protagonist, he was diligent.

Meanwhile, I hadn’t prepared at all. I was wearing comfortable pants with my upper body bare. His eyes scanned me up and down.

“…Sir, you should get ready quickly.”

“…Yeah, I should.”

His eyes examined me suspiciously.

“……….Did something happen?”

Only then did I meet Eric’s eyes.

His expression was concerned.

As expected of a protagonist’s intuition…

No wonder women fall for him.

“It’s nothing.”

I covered it up.

I’d decided to hide it, after all.

“Sir, I’ll head out first.”

“Oh, sure. Go ahead.”

Eric greeted me, cleared away his teacup, and left through the door.

Just as I was turning to go back to my room, Eric’s voice echoed from the dormitory hallway.

‘Oh? Is something wrong?’

I paused before entering my room and looked toward the dormitory door.

Who was he talking to with the door still open?

“Eric, what’s going on?”

Eric’s head peeked through the open door.

“Sir, put on some clothes—oh. I guess it doesn’t matter since you’re family?”

And as soon as he finished speaking, Asena appeared.

I swallowed my surprised breath.

This was also too much.

Having to be startled by Asena, who I’d always been comfortable with.

But this time, Asena seemed just as surprised.

Her confident stride stopped, and her eyes fixed on me.

More precisely, on my bare upper body.

She couldn’t help but be flustered.

In truth, I had rarely shown her my bare body.

Though we lived like family, we always maintained certain boundaries.

Perhaps it was due to my fixed notion that nobles should maintain dignity.

Since becoming an adult, that is, after building my body like this, it was the first time I’d shown my bare skin.

Asena’s mask cracked, and her cheeks turned red. This was a proper noble lady’s reaction.

I turned my head, scratched my hair, and asked.

Honestly, it was still difficult to face her directly.

“Did you come alone?”

“….”

“Asena?”

“….Sorry. I didn’t hear you. What did you say?”

“Did you come alone?”

“…Yes.”

“Where’s Kirsy?”

“She said she had something to do and left early.”

“…I see?”

Another voice came from the hallway.

‘Sir, I’m leaving! Lady Asena, I’ll see you in class!’

“Oh! Go ahead, Eric. Close the door!”

-Thud.

As the dormitory door closed, only Asena and I remained in the room.

“By the way, Asena. Can you keep coming to my room like this?”

“I’m on the Student Council. I can bend simple rules.”

“…I see.”

“….And also, we’re family. Everyone understands.”

“………”

The word “family” shook my heart once more. Words I wanted to say rose to my throat.

Then what were those words yesterday? Why did you say such hurtful things when I wasn’t there? What do you mean you never thought of me as a brother?

After hearing those words, I couldn’t believe Asena would come looking for me without a reason.

Until now, wanting to see each other’s faces was enough, but not anymore.

I went into my room to get dressed.

Asena followed me and stood by the door.

“…..So why, Asena?”

“…Huh?”

“Did you come this early because you had something to say?”

“…….”

I pretended not to care, casually putting on my clothes one by one, but all my attention was on her.

She spoke.

“…..Yes. Since it was hard to meet yesterday, let’s make an appointment today. Let’s keep it going from now on if nothing comes up. You know the fountain near the Political Science department, right?”

“I do.”

“Let’s meet there after afternoon classes end.”

“……..Alright. Got it.”

I also squeezed every ounce of strength to hide my emotions, answering dryly.

“…….”

At her strange silence again,

I met her eyes.

“….What?”

“……Brother, is something wrong?”

She asked.

There was.

A lot.

Even now, I felt like I was going crazy.

“…..”

But of course, nothing came out of my mouth.

All the words disappeared like a mirage, just like the effort I had put in, and instead what came out was,

“Nothing. What could be wrong?”

Just cowardly words again.

I finished my final adjustments and dusted off my clothes.

The Praester family emblem on my shoulder, two snakes coiled together, felt especially heavy today.

Before I knew it, Asena had approached and stood in front of me.

“….”

She naturally reached out and smoothed my already-neat clothes.

She lightly dusted my shoulders, brushed my collar, and said,

“…Brother, your tie is crooked.”

With a stiff expression, she grabbed my tie.

She skillfully centered it.

Then she paused.

Her movements stopped as if she had finished, and she looked into my eyes.

This time I didn’t avoid her gaze and met her eyes.

Soft black hair that fell to her back.

Sharp eyes.

A stern face.

Yet more beautiful than any woman I had ever seen.

Asena Praester.

“….”

“….”

In this room with just the two of us, we stared into each other’s eyes for a long time.

Suddenly, I felt a slight force.

Asena pulled me toward her, using my tie like a leash.

The familiar gesture was coming.

But—

-Tap.

I blocked her lips as they approached my cheek.

I felt a soft sensation at my fingertips.

As if telling her to be quiet, I ended up pressing my index finger against her lips.

Asena awkwardly opened her eyes that she had started to close, looking at me in confusion.

“…..Bro……ther?”

“….I’m good today.”

In the 10 years I had known her, it was the first time I had stopped her show of affection.