Ch.11Inner Thoughts

# 11. Inner Thoughts

[Guild](0/6)

– JoanOfArcIsASaint(Offline) 2 days ago

– EtiquetteMaster(Offline) 17 hours ago

– WaterKnowsTheAnswer(Offline) 17 hours ago

– StubbornBackdoor(Offline) 19 hours ago

– PhysicalTherapist(Offline) 18 hours ago

– KillTheCute(Offline) 1 day ago

“That’s strange.”

Without any group chat, they’re not the type to be offline for two consecutive days?

[BrotherDude: Today is leg day]

[Me: 🖕]

[BrotherDude: Come out]

[Me: Not feeling well so get lost]

[BrotherDude: No lies]

[Me: I said I’m not going]

[BrotherDude: Is it that time?]

[Me: You bastard]

[Me: Just die for real]

“That gym freak is being a pain again.”

Why does he keep dragging me along when he could go alone or take a friend? Aren’t brothers supposed to dislike their sisters and find them annoying? I wish he would stop paying attention to me. If he treated me well normally, I wouldn’t curse at him.

[SisterGirl: Are you keeping up with your major classes?]

[Me: y]

[SisterGirl: What kind of answer is that?]

[SisterGirl: If you understand, answer properly]

[Me: Fine]

“Oh fuck!”

Please.

Receiving both physical and mental stress from both sides, and from blood relatives at that, was truly maddening. I thought I’d escape it somewhat once I entered university. Isn’t the youngest usually coddled? Why are they so strict and controlling? Mind your own damn life, please! Is it because you don’t have a partner and have too much free time?

“Why aren’t they logging in?”

The 7th perfect clear was successful, but with the guild leader not logging in for two days, and KillTheCute, who’s closest to me, being offline for nearly two days as well, the atmosphere felt off. Usually after a raid, we’d celebrate together, enhance our newly acquired equipment, earn new achievements, and join public parties together—that was the real fun.

‘The guild leader is a working adult so that’s understandable, but KillTheCute…’

Others tried contacting them too, but all recent messages in the group chat had the number 2 next to them. Some might think we’re overreacting about someone not logging in for just a day or two, but these people had logged in every single day for the past year! It’s like someone who’s been on a strict diet for a month suddenly binging on hamburgers, rice cakes, fried food, chicken, and pizza—that level of shock!

“…Ugh.”

Thinking about that made the chicken breast salad on my desk look even more unappetizing than usual. My crazy brother somehow always knows when I skip meals or snack on something else, so I can’t even avoid eating it.

“Why do I have to live like this even as a college student…”

Forced studying that’s no fun.

Forced workouts that are just painful.

Forced diet full of stress.

Forced cycle going round and round like a hamster wheel.

“What’s the point of life?”

“Go where the wind takes you, follow your heart. Ha-hahaha!”

Suddenly I heard my character muttering in the monitor. The hearty laughter of the muscular female warrior, who revealed more than she covered, had never sounded more free-spirited and liberating.

“…I wish my life could be like that.”

Crunch.

The chicken breast salad was tasteless today too.

**

[Owned Items]

– Portrait of ‘JoanOfArcIsASaint'(1)

– Für Edenguard(4)

– Fresh Water(5)

– French Fries(3)

[Owned Gold 6890.7]

Day 6 of arriving in Edenguard. No, since it’s past midnight, it’s day 7.

Except for day 1 when I earned only 250 gold, I’ve been making almost 1,200 gold per day. I missed some quests due to overlapping time slots, some were one-time only, and some didn’t even appear because conditions weren’t met, but I still worked like a dog regardless.

“Tomorrow’s the day.”

“Finally!”

In the single room that had become quite familiar by now.

We clinked glasses while munching on snacks laid out on the table.

“Ahh!”

“So refreshing…”

Edenguard beer was cool and delicious. If I had to be specific, it was closer to lager. I wondered if it tasted like Korean beer since this was a Korean game. Beer in a British-style city tavern tasting like Korean lager? That wasn’t even surprising anymore.

“Do you think others have entered the tower too?”

“I’m not sure. I haven’t seen anyone yet.”

“Edenguard is pretty big.”

“But considering our movements, I think it’s safe to say they haven’t arrived yet.”

It’s the 7th day since entering the tower. According to KillTheCute, she was summoned about 14 hours after it happened in the real world, so it wouldn’t be strange if other guilds had entered the tower by now.

“Surely I wasn’t pulled in just because I’m the guild leader of a perfect clear guild… right?”

“That’s possible too. Maybe it’s a hidden event for perfect clears? Or specifically for the 7th perfect clear? Or maybe exclusive to Menscima?”

“Hidden? That’s the least exciting hidden event ever.”

“Or maybe the time ratio is stretched out, but I was summoned because you summoned me? As I mentioned before, as soon as I opened my eyes here, I got a message about an abnormal tower entry.”

That made sense. KillTheCute was indeed calm and seemed reasonably intelligent. I felt like asking something on impulse, though it wasn’t a question I particularly liked or had asked before.

“If you don’t mind me asking, which university do you attend?”

“I go to Yeonsin University.”

“Oh.”

“Why?”

“You seem smart.”

“Pfft.”

“What?”

“I think that’s separate from being smart. There are plenty of people with good grades who are stupid, frustrating, or just trash. But I’ll take it as a compliment.”

“Of course it’s a compliment. You’re neither stupid, frustrating, nor trash, right?”

Maybe it was because we’d achieved our primary goal of saving money, or because I was drinking after a long time, but my heart felt a little soft.

“By that standard, I bet you went to a good university too?”

“It’s in Seoul, yes. Not as prestigious as Yeonsin though.”

College days weren’t particularly interesting stories. Not that I had no memories from that time, but still. Perhaps sensing my tone, KillTheCute changed the subject.

“I wonder what the other guild members are doing right now?”

“Yeah… I’m curious about that too.”

“It’s a shame we know so little about them.”

I nodded. There was a reason I recruited for Veritas with conditions like keeping the group small and prohibiting personal approaches. Just as there’s a famous saying that in any group of five, there’s always one piece of trash, and the Korean proverb that when three people gather, they can create a tiger out of nothing, the larger a group gets, the harder it is to manage. I’d seen countless famous guilds and raid groups dissolve or suffer severe conflicts due to “corrupted” friendships and the politics that stemmed from them.

My guild was like a gathering place for lone wolves tired of such things. Public raids were full of people looking for carries and trolls, while joining official guilds meant too many rules to follow. Skilled players who just wanted to focus purely on the game gradually gathered in our guild and quickly bonded with others in similar situations. But asking about real-life information like age, gender, or location was almost taboo.

Guild members who moved as if they were one body, praising and admiring each other’s skills, passionate about the game yet never showing ugly greed, expressing trust in each other.

The moment they logged out, they became people from another world whose lives were completely unknown.

“I never thought much about it, and even considered such relationships more special because of that.”

“Yeah.”

“But being here with you like this makes me wonder what kind of people the other guild members are.”

It seemed I wasn’t the only one whose heart had softened. Glancing over, I noticed KillTheCute’s face was slightly flushed.

“Ah! But I think I might know about one person.”

“Who?”

“SexAct!”

Pffft—

“Eek!”

Spitting out my beer was definitely not intentional. Thankfully I managed to turn my face away just in time!

“A-are you okay, leader?”

How can you shout that name so casually and then blush even more afterward, Shin Seyeon?!

“Y-yeah. I’m fine. Just went down the wrong pipe.”

SexAct, that username, seriously.

How did that nickname escape the filter? It was truly a mystery.

After clearing my throat for a while, I finally calmed down and fidgeted with the beer mug handle for no reason, while KillTheCute was massacring the snacks at an even faster pace. About a minute later, I spoke again.

“Sex—I mean, anyway, what do you think you know about them?”

“I think they probably go to the gym and then log in around 6:30 PM? Their login times are very similar to mine.”

“The gym?”

“Yes. They sometimes complained about being forced to work out, saying it’s so annoying and their body is always sore.”

“Forced to work out?”

“I don’t know the details beyond that.”

Come to think of it, they would occasionally post pictures of unappetizing chicken breast in the chat. If they’re also on a diet, that means they’re an involuntary fitness enthusiast with a strict regimen. Hmm.

“Even someone who seems to have no worries has their own sad circumstances.”

“Though others might not consider that a sad circumstance.”

I took another swig of beer. Perhaps because some time had passed, it was a bit lukewarm.

‘I’ve had quite a bit. Should wrap this up soon.’

The snacks were almost gone, and we were drinking much slower. KillTheCute looked outwardly fine, but her eyes showed signs of fatigue.

“Seyeon. Last round?”

“Leader.”

“Hm?”

“We’ll be okay, right?”

Gulp—

“We’re doing well, aren’t we? We can do this, right?”

“Seyeon.”

“…I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry about.”

“I’m just a little anxious. Just a little.”

I met Seyeon’s slightly hollow eyes, more tired than usual. Eyes that until just moments ago were full of confidence, calmness, and intelligence had somehow become clouded.

“I was anxious and scared, but there were enjoyable things too. It’s an escape from my boring, frustrating daily life—literally a different dimension of deviation… even if it wasn’t my intention.”

She seemed drunk, but I refilled her glass anyway. Even in her state, she bowed her head in thanks.

“I suddenly imagined something.”

“What kind of imagination?”

“What if we can never go back? What if I become a permanent part of the tower somewhere?”

This was naturally one of the anxieties I had too, in this place where nothing was certain yet. KillTheCute, whom I had thought was excessively calm, was now revealing her inner thoughts, perhaps due to the alcohol.

‘If she’s not naturally stoic or calm, it’s not bad for her to release this tension now.’

Mental care is important.

In that sense, a moderate amount of alcohol can be quite effective for mental care.

“When you call this situation a ‘deviation,’ it’s because you have a place you were originally from, a place to return to, right?”

“I… guess so?”

“I can’t promise we’ll definitely be able to return.”

“That’s… obvious. I understand.”

“However.”

Emptying my half-full beer in one go, I expressed a determination that was close to a personal vow.

“One thing I can say for certain.”

“What’s that?”

“Whatever the outcome, I’ll be with you.”

“……………hic.”

Thud—

“Se-Seyeon?”

Well…

Memo.

Seyeon seems to have a low alcohol tolerance.

About 1000cc of beer, give or take.