Ch.117Waiting People (3)

I spent all day repeatedly shooting at targets with a gun. Thanks to that, the power and precision of my bullets gradually increased.

But there’s no sign of my first supernatural power developing. I didn’t expect it to happen in just one day anyway.

It will take much longer than this to reach the level where I can perfectly control supernatural powers.

Still, I can clearly see my power growing stronger. That gives me the motivation to keep repeating this exercise.

While I continued pulling the trigger, a question suddenly occurred to me. I immediately asked the orange-haired person.

“When did Ju-an develop his first supernatural power?”

“It happened after about four days.”

“…Is that even possible in just four days?”

“I can hardly believe it myself, even though I saw it with my own eyes. Usually, the first supernatural power only develops after professionally handling supernatural abilities for over 10 years, but he manifested his in just four days.”

It seems Ju-an really worked hard after coming to this world. No wonder he was given the mission to become a hero.

“The more I learn about him, the more amazing he seems.”

“I didn’t expect him to become this strong either.”

“Just how strong did he become?”

“He became so strong that there’s hardly anyone in the entire world who could match him.”

“…He became that powerful?”

“Yes. He could probably defeat almost anyone except beings like heroes or demon kings.”

Ju-an was much stronger than I thought. Of course, his supernatural power is incredibly powerful.

The ability to stop time is extremely useful both offensively and defensively.

But it also depends on the user. If the user is physically weak, they couldn’t inflict much damage even after stopping time.

“If Ju-an is that strong, why is he so obsessed with becoming stronger?”

“Because his enemy is much stronger than him.”

His enemy is stronger than him. That’s certainly a good reason to become stronger. If he loses, the new chance he’s been given would disappear.

And considering Ju-an’s usual personality, it makes sense. He was always meticulously thorough, reviewing things three or four times.

While I was admiring how desperately Ju-an wanted to survive, the orange-haired person spoke to me.

“But don’t you think it’s ridiculous? No matter how much you or I train, it won’t really help much.”

“You never know, it might become a secret weapon someday.”

“At first, I thought I’d become a protagonist-like figure too. But I found I didn’t have that talent.”

“Then why do you keep training? According to you, it’s obvious that such actions won’t help much.”

“It’s just a habit.”

The orange-haired person continued in a somewhat sorrowful voice.

“I was taught to do this since I was young. So I kept trying to get stronger as I was told. Thanks to that, I’ve come this far.”

“And how did you feel after getting here?”

“It felt so empty. What did I work so hard for? For honor or a stable retirement? No, I just did it because I was told to.”

I can relate to that. Young-min said something similar when he used to attend academy.

“Because of that, I can’t do anything else. So I just keep training meaninglessly like this. And then I met Ju-an.”

The orange-haired person smiled, though I couldn’t tell if it was from happiness or despair.

“At first, I felt a sense of kinship. Both of us were suffering from something. But unlike me, he walked the path set by others of his own will. Honestly, I was so jealous. It made me feel pathetic for just doing what others told me to do.”

“I know exactly how that feels. I was often compared to him too.”

“Then you must have admired him in some way.”

“I often thought he was enviable, but I wouldn’t say I admired him.”

At least before, I was physically much stronger than Ju-an, so I didn’t go as far as admiring him.

Rather, I sometimes viewed him negatively, wondering why he didn’t exercise more.

But now even that weakness has disappeared, so it’s natural to react that way. Who wouldn’t feel intimidated by someone who seems perfect in every way?

“Still, Ju-an used to be really weak, and he was somewhat introverted, so he was bullied too.”

“…He was bullied?”

“Yes. After all, no perfect person exists in this world.”

The orange-haired person let out a small laugh. Probably feeling some relief.

“And Ju-an isn’t really living proactively either. He’s forcing himself to become stronger because he says there’s no one else who can do it.”

“He never talked like that in front of us.”

“Of course, that’s what he told me when we were alone. It’s awkward to talk about such things to people you’re not close with.”

It would be uncomfortable if someone you just met started complaining about how hard things are. Especially if that person was sent by the Goddess to become a hero.

If someone sent by the Goddess was saying such things, I’d probably become pessimistic too.

So that’s why he came to me for counseling when he was struggling. Well, who else could he confide in about these feelings?

I should continue to take good care of him. Though I feel like I’ll be the one receiving more help.

While I was thinking about this, the orange-haired person asked me in a rather lonely voice.

“Are you living proactively?”

“I’m living almost too proactively.”

“Can you tell me what kind of life you’re living?”

“I’m just wandering around every day because I don’t know what to do. And when I feel like I need to do something, I move.”

Perhaps “going with the flow” would be a better description. I still don’t know what I should be doing.

Honestly, things have worked out well so far because of good results, but if my luck had been just a little worse, I would have been gone from this world long ago.

While reminiscing about situations that could be either fortunate or unfortunate, that person suddenly brought up something strange.

“I envy you for living the way you want.”

“Does this look like living the way I want? I’m desperately hanging on, even sacrificing my lifespan, just to survive!”

I just want to live comfortably and rest. I want to live comfortably and safely without my lifespan being shortened or anything like that.

But this cursed world seems determined to make me suffer, as if it would end if my lifespan wasn’t shortened.

If a new enemy appears, that will be the day I die. Either from using up too much of my lifespan or from being utterly defeated.

Anyway, after calming my anger a bit, I said to the orange-haired person.

“It’s enough to live satisfactorily, why make it complicated?”

“If I knew how to do that, I wouldn’t be struggling like this.”

“I don’t know the method either, so I can’t give you any advice.”

Such difficult problems are hard to solve. It’s natural not to solve problems that don’t have set answers.

So I think it’s easiest to just not think about it. Why bother thinking about something that won’t yield an answer?

But the orange-haired person hasn’t reached that conclusion yet and keeps trying to solve a problem with no answer.

“Then what kind of life should I live from now on…”

“First of all, Ju-an is mine, so please think of something unrelated to him.”

“…As soon as I say I’ve given up on him, you naturally claim he’s yours?”

“…Well, that could be the case.”

Since Ju-an likes me and I like him, it’s fine to say he’s mine. We’ve basically made an implicit agreement.

…I think I’m getting tired from practicing to control my supernatural power. I should rest now. Speaking of rest, a good idea just came to mind.

“How about we just rest and do nothing tomorrow?”

“…Do you think that will help?”

“You know how you feel down after going all out, right? So resting might make you feel better.”

“That sounds like something boys would say.”

“…”

Of course such comparisons come to mind since I’m a boy. I’ve been thinking like this for all 19 years of my life, so it’s natural.

But since I’ll be living as a girl from now on, I should reduce those kinds of comparisons…

…I really must be tired. Let’s really go rest now.

“Then I’ll head in now. And just try resting properly once, even if you think it won’t help.”

Somehow, I suddenly feel more comfortable dealing with the orange-haired person. Is it because they’re no longer a rival?

With such thoughts, I returned to Ju-an’s room. But Ju-an still hadn’t returned, probably still planning strategies.

I’d like to go to sleep right away, but if I did, Ju-an would obviously end up sleeping on the floor like yesterday. So I’ll wait a little longer.

I can’t let someone who worked so hard today sleep on the floor. If someone has to sleep on the floor, it should be me.

You might think I could just sleep on the floor myself, but then Ju-an would probably put me on the bed and sleep on the floor himself.

So I buried my face in the pillow and started resting until Ju-an returned.