Ch.116Affectia

# 116. Affectia

“Does that mean… that one cannot be loved without loving first?”

“Well, I’d rather interpret it as: those who have loved come to understand love. If you don’t know what love is even while being loved, then perhaps you don’t even realize you’re being loved.”

“…Sister, have you ever been in love?”

“Of course. I began following the Goddess’s will to forget the pain of heartbreak, so I believe the Goddess took pity on me. Somehow, I became a nun, and then the Mother Superior.”

“…”

“Wouldn’t it be quite amusing to try to spread teachings about love without knowing what love is? Even if there are many kinds of love.”

*

“How was today? Did you make any progress?”

“…”

“Hm? Soyu?”

Lost in thought, Soyu only realized she had left the church when she heard Yehyun’s voice.

“Ah. Unni. No. It’s not easy. What about you?”

“Me neither. Ugh, I wish everything could be solved with clicks and money like in games. I like realism, but I never imagined having to earn money every day for food and taxes!”

Isn’t that… obvious?

“If MMORPGs had to deal with hunger and living expenses, they would’ve failed long ago. Let’s just say this world lacks some gaming conveniences.”

“Hmph. I guess so. But the joy of eating can’t be ignored! I’m looking forward to dinner tonight!”

Soyu envied Yehyun. She seemed to handle stress well, appearing both gentle and strong, and had contracted with her spirit without much trouble after the initial difficulties.

“Um, Soyu.”

“Yes?”

“Don’t be in such a hurry.”

“Me?”

“Just saying. Arang will take some time, and the guild leader hasn’t even awakened his level 20 skill yet. Seyeon, Yuri, and Subin are also eager for their level 20 skills… We have more time than you think. Well, that’s all.”

She had been trying not to show it, but apparently others could see through her.

Soyu simply nodded. Then, spotting a sign with a cat drawn on it, she steeled her resolve.

**

‘It feels like something is missing.’

I tried my best to recreate the feeling I had when my skill first activated during the knight’s trial when I was alone with Seyeon.

But something was lacking. Was my recreation poor? Or was it because this wasn’t a real situation?

Although today ended in failure, I didn’t think it was a meaningless attempt. I planned to try again tomorrow while following Seyeon on her quest.

‘There are so many stars.’

I put my sword back in my inventory and lifted my head to look at the night sky. It was a sight I could never see in Korea, so I marveled at it every time. Tonight, there seemed to be even more stars than usual.

“What are you doing?”

“…Soyu noona?”

As a gentle breeze cooled my light sweat, Soyu noona’s presence suddenly hit me. When I took my eyes off the sky, I saw her watching me with her hands clasped tightly to her chest. Her silver hair reflecting the starlight looked just like the Milky Way.

Tap, tap, tap—

Despite the noisy chatter of guests coming from the inn, the sound of Soyu noona’s light footsteps across the backyard seemed unusually loud.

I cleared my throat awkwardly and turned my gaze back to the sky.

“What brings you here?”

“Just couldn’t sleep. You?”

“I was trying to learn a skill until just now, and before going back in, I wanted to look at the sky for a bit.”

“Not going well?”

“Yeah, pretty much. You too?”

“Yes.”

I had a feeling Soyu noona had something to tell me. So I stayed quiet and waited.

“You know.”

“Yeah?”

Sure enough, after a few minutes, Soyu noona spoke again.

“Most of the skills I use come from the power of the Goddess of Compassion and Tolerance.”

“Yeah, I know. Laella, right?”

“The Mother Superior at the church here told me today that love is the virtue that penetrates both compassion and tolerance.”

…Love?

“I guess compassion and tolerance do require love.”

“And among Goddess Laella’s teachings is this: ‘Love. For those who love can be loved, and that is the greatest blessing.'”

Affectia. Affectiamen affectial ibel tas, ien fini argel blessium.

…As noona recited the original text of the goddess’s words, she truly looked like a saint.

‘Visually, she already is a saint.’

The question was why she was suddenly telling me this.

‘She’s having difficulty learning a new skill, and it might be related to love. Is that it?’

…Probably not.

If it were just that, if it were that simple, she wouldn’t have mentioned it when we were alone at this hour.

I lowered my head again to look at Soyu noona, wanting to confirm my suspicion.

When our eyes met, she suddenly turned her head away.

“Noona.”

“…Yes.”

My simple suspicion was now 80% confirmed by that reaction.

When had it started?

After I had made three girlfriends at once, I didn’t deliberately put up walls with the other guild members, but I didn’t engage in lovey-dovey events with them either.

It’s too obvious to state, but what woman would be happy about her man adding new women? Even in special circumstances.

From my perspective, three was honestly overwhelming. And actively seeking a new girlfriend would be a huge wound and disrespect to the existing three.

So while I had a motto of treating all guild members equally, I maintained an awkward position where I wasn’t in the same relationship with everyone.

But if a woman approached me first like this.

Rejecting that would be nearly impossible.

Because her risk was much greater.

“You know, at my company, I dealt with all kinds of difficult women, so I’m somewhat perceptive about women and their signals. But… since this is important, I’m going to be direct like an idiot who can’t read the mood or atmosphere, and ask you straight out.”

If you want to pretend this was just a coincidental meeting while stargazing, now is your last chance.

At my words, Soyu noona closed her eyes tightly once, then opened them and stepped even closer.

“Noona.”

“Yes.”

“Do you like me?”

“Yes. I think so.”

No. You definitely do.

Soyu noona, who affirmed my question so easily, glanced briefly at the stone she had been clutching, quickly put it in her inventory, and then grabbed the hem of my clothes.

“Your thoughts. Your face. Your voice. When I think of them, when they’re present… I feel happy and at ease. And I don’t tremble.”

“It could be dependence, you know.”

“No. I’ve thought about it a lot. It’s not just simple dependence… though in some sense, you’re right, it is dependence.”

Addiction is, after all, severe dependence.

“Addiction?”

“I know my mental state became severely unstable. But with you, I regained stability. With just a few words of comfort from you, with your casual thoughtfulness, I had to keep replaying moments with you to protect my sanity.”

Several times a day.

When my heart becomes anxious, I meet you from the past.

Then, I can sleep peacefully.

“I thought noona had gotten better.”

“I am better. I just had to replay thoughts of you that much more.”

“That’s not getting better. That’s just covering it up.”

“It’s okay. Because I have you.”

“Noona.”

“Please. Listen to the end.”

This is heavy.

Beyond serious, it’s somehow heavy.

“The other guild members were kind to me too, of course. But you’re the only one who truly made me feel at ease. That’s not just dependence, but because I… like you. Love you. Yes, that’s what I think. I’ve finally understood what love is. I’ve become certain that the emotion I’ve been feeling is love. Just today.”

“…”

“Is that answer enough? Do you need more confirmation?”

Soyu noona’s eyes, looking up at me while clutching my clothes, were urging me to respond.

I’ve been so brave, haven’t I? I’ve said this much.

So please answer me quickly.

Of course your answer will be positive, right?

You love me too.

That’s why you comforted me like that on a starry night like tonight when we were alone. Right?

So hurry.

‘Soyu noona. I like you. I do… but whether I accept your confession or not, I feel like your dependence on me will only get worse.’

While I was paying less attention to noona due to various incidents, it seems her mind has broken in a different way… As I remained silent due to the heaviness I felt, the fabric of my clothes in her grip began to wrinkle more and more.

Seeing that, I made my decision.

If the expected outcome is the same either way, since I’ve already committed to taking responsibility until the end, I should take on this new responsibility as well.

“It’s enough.”

“…Huh?”

“I said it’s enough.”

Looking into noona’s eyes, which were on the verge of tears, I gently covered her hand that was gripping my clothes with mine.

“I’ll take responsibility for you.”

“So keep giving me your love. Then… I’ll continue to love you too.”

That night, tears of joy flowed down someone’s face, while shooting stars streaked across the night sky.