Ch.114Chapter 19. Longing (3)

Blending into everyday life was surprisingly difficult.

Some might ask why I sound like a retired soldier from some battlefield, but isn’t that how it is?

Being a Magical Girl doesn’t mean there are no risks when fighting. You can get hurt if an enemy hits you hard, and even worse, people around me who aren’t Magical Girls could get seriously injured or die from enemy attacks.

My friends have already been in serious danger once, and some still are.

Jihye’s case at least ended as an attempted incident.

Just because it was only an attempt doesn’t mean I can completely relax. Human memories don’t easily fade, and negative memories especially remain vivid and linger longer, continuing to hold a person back.

For Jihye, that memory must be nothing short of a nightmare, so honestly, it’s almost miraculous that she doesn’t have seizures when she sees me.

Plus, “attempted” means it could happen again. And that danger is probably felt more deeply by Jihye, who experienced it firsthand, than by me.

Besides Jihye, there’s also Pang Pang who saved me.

Of course, in Pang Pang’s case, it’s more related to the chairman than to me, but…

Well, having experienced these things so often, I can’t help thinking that these incidents keep happening because of me.

It was just yesterday that I rescued Pang Pang, so she’s still in the hospital.

And not in a regular bed, but sealed inside a device that induces a deep sleep, putting her in a vegetative state. What’s worse, that device can’t be carelessly broken or dismantled yet.

“…”

Hayun was still around me. When I go home, I can see Jihye again, and of course the orphanage children I’ve become quite close with.

But as I mentioned earlier, people naturally recall negative memories more vividly than positive ones.

It was school lunch after a long time. It wasn’t particularly bad. Actually, it wasn’t much different from what we ate at the orphanage. Is this private school being stingy with the food budget? Or maybe the orphanage actually provides decent meals. Certainly, the quality of meals improved dramatically after I started working.

Though I retained all my memories from my past life, my body was still that of a teenage girl, so I used to get extremely hungry at lunchtime.

Yet now, even with food in my mouth, I had little appetite.

Speaking of negative thoughts, I’d been feeling strange stares since this morning.

Usually during meals, people would sit near us. Like when eating near someone you’re not particularly close with, they’d typically gather in their own groups and sit a space apart, but now there was absolutely no one around us.

It’s amusing. I suppose it’s because the two of us looked like we were “that kind” of relationship. Even same-sex friends don’t kiss on the lips.

And strangely enough, those kids seem to think they might get caught up in something similar.

Well, considering my preferences, I’d probably prefer dating women over men, but that doesn’t mean I’d date just anyone. Some people have very open sexual attitudes while others are more conservative, and I’m surprisingly the latter.

To be precise, I was just too timid and unpopular, but let’s set that aside for now.

Hayun’s expression was different from her usual one during school meals.

Sitting across from me, Hayun looked comfortable. As if she was actually glad we could eat like this.

Is kissing not a big deal to her?

What if, just hypothetically, what if the person she could transform with wasn’t me? Would Hayun still willingly kiss them? Could she kiss anyone to resolve a situation, to win?

…No, what kind of eroge story thoughts am I having about my friend?

I sighed lightly and tried to continue eating when I heard footsteps approaching our table.

It was Ju-a.

When she caught my eye as I turned toward the sound, Ju-a primly averted her gaze slightly before sitting down next to me as if nothing had happened.

Hayun looked at Ju-a with slight surprise, but Ju-a acted as if she didn’t notice the gaze and casually picked up her chopsticks.

I stared at Ju-a for a moment, wondering whether I should bring up the news article.

Though she pretends otherwise, Ju-a has quite a strong sense of self-awareness. Not only did she fight so hard against me, but because of her competitive personality, she also seems to care about her popularity as a Magical Girl.

So she must have already read the article. She must have felt the stares from those around her.

Though it wasn’t particularly noticeable on the surface yet.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Ju-a asked primly.

“Oh, no. It’s nothing.”

She’s strange too.

She gets angry after kissing me herself, and now she’s looking at me strangely for staring at her. She really is an odd one.

Well, all Magical Girls have their quirks.

“Ah, here you are,” Rose’s voice called out.

The three third-year students approached our table with their trays. Usually there would be students trying to approach Hayun sitting nearby, leaving little room for all three of them, but today there was plenty of space available.

The three of them claimed those seats as if it were natural.

“Is it okay if we sit here?”

That’s a bit awkward to ask after already sitting down. Though I don’t have any reason to refuse.

Thinking about it, these people never really approached when Hayun and I were eating together. The same went for Ju-a, who’s in our grade.

She probably didn’t eat alone and must have had friends in her class to eat with?

I nodded, and Rose started eating with a cheerful smile.

“Oh, right,” Rose suddenly spoke up after putting a few side dishes in her mouth, as if remembering something.

“You three looked great in the photos.”

“Pfft.”

Ju-a nearly spat out what was in her mouth at Rose’s words. The sound was unmistakably like she had already spat it out, but I guess that’s what makes a Magical Girl a Magical Girl. She managed to use superhuman strength to prevent what was in her mouth from actually coming out.

“You looked like you were in a photo shoot. The reporter must use a pretty good camera. Well, I guess that’s to be expected since that camera technology incorporates alien technology, so the results are bound to be excellent.”

Looking again, I noticed Hayun’s face had turned red too.

It felt like the ears of the students around us were turning in our direction. They weren’t actually moving, but their voices had definitely gotten quieter.

“Why, why, why, why are you bringing that up here?” Ju-a stammered.

Exactly.

I had the same thought about Ju-a’s question.

Didn’t she say nothing yesterday?

When we were in the same room, she just sat there with an awkward expression? Come to think of it, I think that was the first time I’d seen Rose blush.

Right. I should have been suspicious when she didn’t tease us then.

“I was too flustered yesterday,” Rose said, picking up a bit of rice with her chopsticks.

“You know, embarrassingly enough, I haven’t had a boyfriend at this age either.”

I don’t think that’s anything to be embarrassed about, but considering that quite a few kids our age do date, I understand why she might say that.

Given Rose’s personality, I’d expect her to have quite a few friends.

“Suddenly seeing people kissing like that, I didn’t know what to say. That’s understandable, right? If it had been strangers, maybe I wouldn’t care, but it was between you two.”

“…”

I tried to imagine a boy and girl I hang out with kissing, but honestly, it was a bit difficult to picture.

In my past life, I was only surrounded by men, so I never saw romance within the group, and conversely, here I’m only surrounded by women.

And I didn’t particularly want to imagine Hayun kissing someone else.

“I was wondering how to treat you from now on, but seeing the three of you gathered like this, I feel reassured. At least you’re not fighting because of it, right?”

Even mentioning the fight is probably just to tease us. Well, Rose won’t get her way. Neither Hayun nor Ju-a will fight over that fact.

“So what are you trying to say?” I asked bluntly.

Rose smiled and said, “That you don’t need to worry too much about it. All sorts of articles come out about Magical Girls. Not just us, but heroes from other countries too. The atmosphere seems to have gotten more hostile lately. They say we’re just begging the Federation for help while fighting the forces of evil directly.”

“It’s not like those people are wrong?”

“There are always people in the world whose thinking goes in strange directions. Well, we just need to focus on our job. If we go to another country, we might have to cooperate with them.”

“We should finish this before that happens.”

“That’s a good attitude too.”

Rose responded to my answer and put rice in her mouth.

“Anyway, so,” she continued after swallowing almost without chewing, showing her bold personality. That boldness had often caused her to clash with others, but at least in this world, not at the moment.

“What’s going on with you three? Is it really like the article says?”

“Like the article says?”

“Didn’t you read it? It says you’re two-timing.”

Hayun and Ju-a’s faces turned toward me.

I glared at Rose.

The kids around us had been glancing in our direction for some time. Though they didn’t dare look directly because they were conscious of me, they couldn’t help stealing glances.

For reference, Dalia and Delphinium kept their heads down and focused intently on their food, clearly embarrassed by Rose’s direct questioning.

“Why are you talking about this here?” I asked, glaring at Rose. “Couldn’t this wait until after school?”

“Well, you see,” Rose said with a slightly sheepish expression, having unintentionally caused Ju-a to self-destruct.

“You’re part of our team now.”

“…And?”

“So, I wanted to show that we’re naturally mixing together. Sometimes it’s better to proudly acknowledge something than to let strange rumors spread, right?”

“…”

I gaped at Rose’s words.

Well, I understand her intention.

Since I’m the new addition to the team, reporters might write strange articles.

It could get tiresome if rumors about rifts between Magical Girls or various discord start circulating. Fortunately, no one was chasing us with microphones like they do to real celebrities.

But too many people believe what’s written in articles to just ignore everything. People crave attention even while having negative thoughts, so they might search their own names on the internet out of curiosity.

“I thought it would be better if rumors spread that we’re too close rather than not close enough, hmm.”

If we could block any attempts to dig in strange directions, that would be a solution. The problem is that things have gone too far now.

“Next time, if you’re going to say something like that, let us know beforehand. It’s startling,” I said, glaring at Rose.

“Sorry, sorry,” Rose apologized, waving her hands vigorously.

“…I see,” Hayun, who had been quietly listening to our conversation, suddenly remarked.

I looked at Hayun, who was nodding with quite a serious expression.

“You’re right, Jieun. All this time, I’ve been too ambiguous, which is why strange people keep approaching.”

“Huh?”

“I heard after you disappeared. There were people bullying you, weren’t there?”

“…”

Well.

I thought she might have heard about it.

“And, I’m sorry. It was probably because of my ambiguous attitude. If I had clearly shown how close we were, no one would have done those things to you.”

I looked around.

The other students quickly averted their gaze. This time they seemed a bit frightened.

That’s understandable.

Until now, I might have appeared to be someone who just circled around Hayun and interfered with anyone who approached her, but now that assumption has been completely overturned.

If what those kids suspect is true, then the ones who bullied me made a huge mistake.

Well… strictly speaking, the current Magical Girls might be dangerous to approach directly. The kids who approached us before were probably assuming that Korea would eventually join the Federation, so they wanted to grab the rope the Federation had lowered in advance.

But the Magical Girls have broken away from the Federation.

Looking at it simply, one might think their value for exploitation has disappeared, but right now we’re in an ambiguous cooperative relationship with the government in many ways.

Moreover, there are too many uncomfortable aspects for Korea to join the Federation right now. Politically speaking, negative emotions toward people of alien origin might be about to explode.

So they can’t completely cut ties with us either.

…Though Hayun seems to have grasped the situation much more simply.

“If they had known we’ve been close since we were very young, they wouldn’t have done those things to you.”

“Um…”

“If they had heard how you always listen when I have concerns, and how you quickly comfort me when I seem deeply upset, they wouldn’t have even thought of imitating that.”

“Hey, Hayun?”

I quickly looked around.

I couldn’t see the expressions of the other students since they weren’t looking this way. Honestly, I didn’t care much about them.

But I could see the Magical Girls’ expressions.

As Hayun continued speaking, their faces kept getting redder.

Isn’t this too embarrassing to talk about, even between friends?

Why is she going overboard like this again?

The problem is that the circuit on my wrist is working hard.

“So, let’s be more honest with each other from now on,” Hayun said with a bright smile.

“There are so many things that can be resolved just by doing that.”

“Y-yeah…”

I ended up responding that way—

—but, well, I still have feelings I need to keep hidden.

Sorry, Hayun, but I don’t think I can be completely honest.