Ch.113Secret Conversation (5)

*

The meal was satisfying.

Though it was only fish grilled over a campfire, the sweet flesh of the fish seeped deliciously into my mouth and stomach, which had been starving all day.

Today had been quite overwhelming for me in many ways, as I devoured my portion of fish in an instant.

Silvia watched me intently before bringing her sleeve to my mouth to wipe it clean.

“Eat slowly, Ash.”

“Ah, was there something on my face?”

“It’s covered in soot.”

It seemed I had smeared my face with plenty of charred fish skin.

Looking around, I noticed that neither Silvia nor Alice had finished even one fish yet.

Realizing I had wolfed down my food mindlessly while they were still eating, I felt embarrassed and said with a flushed face:

“Thank you, Silvia noona.”

“Are you being shy about something like this now?”

Silvia said that with a smile.

Alice, who had been staring at us, spoke while chewing on her fish:

“That’s right, Ash. No need to be embarrassed.”

“Huh?”

“You’ve been unconscious all day, so it’s natural to be hungry. Right, Silvia?”

“…”

Silvia silently glared at Alice.

Sensing the atmosphere growing cold again, I hastily put on an awkward smile and spoke up:

“I’m fine, so please finish your meal, Silvia noona. Alice noona, don’t worry about me and eat up. The flesh is really tender.”

Silvia picked up one of the grilled fish she was eating and offered the rest to me, saying:

“Ash, would you like more if you’re still hungry?”

“Huh? Aren’t you hungry?”

“Not as much as you are.”

Alice muttered again:

“What reason would Silvia have to be hungry? It’s not like she was submerged underwater for weeks.”

“…”

“Alice noona…”

“What?”

“…”

I sighed.

While Alice’s attitude of constantly making the atmosphere heavy was difficult to call good, the fault clearly lay with Silvia.

I couldn’t blame Alice, knowing she had gone through something terrible—it was rather surprising that she was only being snippy about it.

Especially when I remembered that they had temporarily stopped fighting because of my request.

“Silvia noona.”

“Yes?”

“Let’s talk later.”

Silvia nodded slightly at my words and said:

“…Alright. I have something to apologize to Ash for anyway.”

*

After the meal, Alice noona got up, saying she was going out for a walk.

She was clearly leaving to give Silvia and me privacy to talk.

Since it was very cold outside in the middle of the night, I approached her and handed her some clothes.

As Alice took the clothes, she whispered in a voice too quiet for Silvia to hear:

“I’ll wait outside. Come out when you’re done talking.”

I nodded slightly, and she turned around, opened the door of the hut, and left.

Behind me, Silvia was cleaning up the fish bones and dishes that remained after the meal.

I closed the door of the hut and said to Silvia:

“Silvia noona.”

“Yes,”

With her response, the clattering sounds ceased.

I slowly turned around to face Silvia and said:

“I asked to talk, but let me ask you first. Don’t you have anything to say to me?”

Surprised by my cold tone, Silvia began to stammer:

“So… you’re really angry.”

“…A little.”

“So you are angry.”

“Yes, I’m angry.”

“…I’m sorry.”

I slowly approached Silvia.

“Do you know why I’m angry?”

“I’m sorry for hitting you… I was… I was too excited… I wasn’t in my right mind.”

“…”

When I just glared at her without saying anything, she seemed flustered and continued speaking urgently:

“A-and that wrist… Oh, it’s already healed… I-I’m really sorry about that too… I couldn’t think of any other way at the time…”

“…”

“To keep Ash from leaving me, I couldn’t think of any other way, so I…”

“Ms. Silvia.”

“Uh,”

She swallowed hard and closed her mouth.

When she gently raised her head to look at me, her expression was tinged with bewilderment and despair.

I wasn’t so dull that I didn’t understand the cause of her great shock was due to the title I had attached to her name.

“Why, why… Ash, I’m sorry, so please… call me Silvia noona again…”

“Why should I, Ms. Silvia?”

“Ah, ugh.”

I shook my head and said:

“Anyway, Ms. Silvia thinks I’m going to leave.”

“…Huh?”

“You think I’m such a stranger that you need to knock me unconscious and tie me up to keep me from leaving. Even though I said I liked you, loved you, that we’re family.”

“N-no, that’s not—”

Silvia collapsed to the floor as if her legs had given out, shaking her head in denial.

“That’s not it… I just…”

“Were you afraid I’d be shocked by what you did to Alice noona?”

“…Ah,”

Silvia made a sound like a harp string breaking weakly from deep in her throat.

She seemed shocked that I was calling her “Ms. Silvia” while still using the term “noona” for Alice.

I did deliberately emphasize the word “noona” when I spoke.

But even taking that into account, the shock she received seemed greater than I had imagined.

However, I didn’t stop.

“No, you weren’t worried about me being shocked. You were worried I’d be horrified and leave.”

She slowly approached on her knees.

Then she grabbed my leg with trembling hands.

Knowing how strong her hands and arms were, I tensed a little, but her grip on my pant leg was very careful and weak.

“Ash… I was wrong. Okay?”

“What did Ms. Silvia do wrong?”

“E-everything. I disappointed you.”

“That’s right.”

“…”

When I weakly agreed, she fell silent.

No, she just looked at me with a pitiful expression, her lips trembling.

I sighed and removed her hand.

Then I crouched down to face her and said:

“I am disappointed, Ms. Silvia. I’m really disappointed in you.”

“…Ash.”

She dropped her head to avoid my gaze and said:

“Y-yes… Of course… To swing my fist at you, really…”

“That’s not it!”

“…Then?”

“Why didn’t you tell me about what happened with Alice noona?”

I could see Silvia clenching her fist tightly.

Seeing blood dripping under her fist with a hissing sound, it seemed she was gripping so hard that her nails were digging into her palm.

“…Alice.”

“Because she’s my fiancée?”

“Is Alice… that important to you? Did you… miss her that much?”

“She’s someone important to me. She’s noona’s childhood friend, and the same goes for me. She’s one of the few people left who shares my past. Of course she’s important, and of course I missed her.”

“…”

Silvia kept her head down for a long time.

Blood was continuously dripping from her fist, which was clenched so tightly it was trembling.

After a moment of silence, she barely managed to say:

“I’m sorry.”

I sighed and wrapped my hand around her fist.

Then I pulled her head close with my other arm.

Silvia flinched as if very surprised.

“…I didn’t expect you to be this foolish.”

“Ash… why?”

“What?”

“Why… are you hugging me?”

“Why shouldn’t I?”

Silvia was so confused that she couldn’t even complete her sentences and just kept moving her lips.

“Why… you and Alice… no, I… huh?”

“Hah… really.”

“Ash… disappointed… in me…”

I hugged her head tighter.

Her bloodied hand slowly trembled as she unclenched her fist.

“That’s right. I’m disappointed. I feel betrayed. I feel deceived. I feel like I’ve been misled.”

“But… why,”

I answered:

“Did you think that would make me stop loving Silvia?”

I clearly heard her breath stop.

Slowly, slowly, her hand was raised.

It was a careful and subtle movement, as if checking something.

Her hand wrapped around my back.

I didn’t avoid it.

Only then did she take a deep breath and hug me tightly.

“Ash…”

I also hugged her with my remaining arm and said:

“When will you understand that I’m not going to leave?”

“…Ugh,”

“I love Silvia. I won’t leave even if you don’t tie me up. No matter what terrible things you’ve done, even if the whole world condemns you, I’ll stay with Silvia.”

Silvia shook her head up and down while burying her face in my arms.

Even though I could feel something hot and wet spreading on my chest, I didn’t show any reaction.

“The reason I was angry was because Silvia still doesn’t trust me.”

“Ah, uuu,”

“Do you still think I’m going to leave?”

Silvia shook her head while still keeping her face buried in my arms.

I held her tight and kissed her golden hair as she nestled in my embrace.

*

Silvia seemed to have thought I had feelings for Alice.

Of course, it would be a lie to say I had no affection for her.

Alice noona is very important to me.

No, as one of the few remaining connections to my past, it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say she held a value that was difficult to express simply as “important.”

As I said in my conversation with noona, I couldn’t deny that the future with her, which must have been wonderful, looked dazzling.

But it wasn’t love.

There was a clear difference between longing for peaceful old days and burning passion.

The person I loved,

The person who made my body heat up and my head dizzy,

The woman who made my heart race was only Silvia.

And it seemed Silvia had only just barely realized this fact.

Silvia cried for a long time, and I held her the entire time.

When her crying finally stopped, I said to her:

“Silvia.”

“Yes…”

“Apologize to Alice noona.”

“…”

Silvia remained silent in my arms.

She didn’t even move her head.

She shouldn’t still be under the illusion that I had feelings for Alice, so was it pride, or was there still some subtle, difficult-to-explain emotion remaining?

I couldn’t tell the cause, but I had no intention of indulging her childishness.

“Silvia…”

“…”

“…This isn’t a request.”

“…”

“Are you going to disappoint me again?”

Only then did Silvia shake her head.

“Apologize properly.”

“If Ash… wants it, I’ll do it.”

I patted her head.

One might ask what meaning an apology without sincerity has, but even a formal apology certainly had meaning.

At least it would serve as a declaration to stop the open hostility.

I slowly tried to separate her from my embrace, but Silvia shook her head vigorously and hugged me tighter.

I chuckled.

Hitting, tying up, clinging, and now being stubborn.

Seeing how I found Silvia’s childlike behavior today not hateful but cute, I must have fallen pretty hard for her.

I said to Silvia, who was clinging more fiercely the more I tried to separate:

“I need to go tell Alice noona that Silvia will apologize. It’s cold outside, and noona is waiting.”

“…”

“Silvia, are you still under the illusion that I like Alice noona? That would really make me angry.”

“It’s not that.”

“Then?”

Silvia slowly started to separate from me, but then suddenly grabbed my neck and knocked me over.

I was so surprised that I couldn’t even react and just sprawled out with her on top of me.

Silvia slowly lowered her hips onto my pelvis and raised her upper body.

“…Silvia?”

“Then prove it to me.”

“…What?”

Silvia’s red eyes, still moist with tears, glistened.

“You love me, right, Ash?”

“Yes,”

“Hah… prove it to me right now, right here.”

“How?”

She pressed her pelvis firmly against my body and slowly moved her hips downward.

After finding the exact position and pausing briefly, she began to slowly move her waist back and forth, grinding against me.

“Haah,”

“Silvia…?”

“Do it, now.”

.