Ch.113Chapter 19. Longing (2)

Hmm, well.

Except for Ju-a suddenly shouting, her point does make sense.

Actually, I had previously argued for changing the bathing order using similar logic, so it’s not strange that Ju-a would make such a suggestion.

Why not? She might not be completely satisfied with her sleeping spot.

Though the room wasn’t particularly small, there were seven people sleeping in it, so it could be a bit uncomfortable.

“What do you think?”

I didn’t mind changing spots, but this room wasn’t entirely mine.

The orphanage doesn’t belong to me in the first place, so I can’t call it “mine,” and moreover, this room is shared by Jihye and me.

So it would be right to ask Jihye, who has been using this room with me from the beginning.

“I don’t mind as long as I’m next to Jieun.”

That’s how Jihye answered.

This makes sense too.

After I left this room, Jihye stayed here alone.

And before that, she stayed with just me.

Wouldn’t it be awkward having several people in this room together? Even though we didn’t spend much time in the room today because we were out fighting, the awkwardness could become discomfort as daily life continues.

Jihye is good at getting along with people, but that doesn’t mean she can immediately become comfortable sharing a room with others.

It might be uncomfortable when changing into school uniforms in the morning.

At least when sleeping, it would be more comfortable next to someone you already know. Better than having strangers on both sides.

Is that why she sleeps so close to me?

“Alright then. On the condition that the two of us stay together.”

When I said that, Ju-a’s face lit up with a smile.

Was her spot that uncomfortable? Hmm.

Well, she did come from a wealthy family, so maybe that’s why.

Rose, Dalia, and Delphinium didn’t seem particularly enthusiastic, and Hayun was looking at Ju-a with a somewhat bewildered expression, but Ju-a didn’t seem inclined to back down.

Hayun also had a complicated expression but didn’t object, so the spot-changing was finalized.

“…Ah.”

And unfortunately, Hayun ended up drawing the wrong lot and lost her spot next to me.

Seeing her mutter with an extremely regretful expression, I wondered if she should have argued more strongly against changing spots… but well, Hayun must have her own thoughts.

I shrugged at Hayun, who gave me a pitiful look, but the decision was already made. Ju-a already looked extremely satisfied with the lot she drew, and it would be unfair to suggest drawing again.

Besides, honestly speaking, I had a lot to think about today.

About Hayun kissing me—my feelings had somewhat settled, but I still couldn’t fully understand her intentions.

I wouldn’t entertain false hopes that she genuinely had feelings for me, but on the other hand—it makes things complicated.

I thought we should have a deep conversation, but I couldn’t bring myself to face her. Whenever our eyes met, my face would heat up.

Even when sitting on the swing earlier, I had to try hard not to look at Hayun.

In the end, Jihye took the spot closest to the window, I took the spot next to her, and Ju-a took the spot next to me.

I’m not sure why Ju-a was so fixated on sleeping next to me, but honestly, just for today, it worked out well. Though I did feel a bit sorry for Hayun, who pouted and slumped down.

Once again, I lay down on the bedding on the floor.

This sensation is unforgettable. The comfortable feeling of being home that I hadn’t felt for a long time after running away.

Jihye lay down next to me and snuggled close, just like yesterday.

Ju-a did the same, though I’m not sure why. I suppose it’s more comfortable this way if everyone wants to secure more space for themselves.

Come to think of it, I can’t really imagine Ju-a snuggling close to the other girls either.

“…”

Let’s just sleep.

When your head is complicated, the best thing is to get a good night’s sleep and wake up. I can’t forget everything, and there are things I shouldn’t forget.

But still, the situation is much better than it was just a short while ago.

Hoping that nothing unusual happens tomorrow, I closed my eyes.

*

Ju-a, who had been lying with her eyes closed for a long time without falling asleep, gently opened her eyes.

Beyond Jieun, who was lying straight, she could faintly see Jihye’s face. Fortunately, Jihye seemed to be asleep, breathing rhythmically.

After staring at Jieun for a while, Ju-a moved a little closer to her. Still, holding her arm was much easier than kissing near her mouth earlier.

Ju-a couldn’t understand what she had been thinking when she did that.

Rationally speaking, it was necessary. But Ju-a, while having a somewhat rational mindset, wasn’t someone who could be completely emotionless.

The usual Ju-a would never have shown such behavior directly. It was too embarrassing… something she didn’t want others to see.

Why did she act that way?

Why was she so angry?

In the room where only breathing could be heard, Ju-a pondered deeply by herself.

The main reason was probably seeing Hayun kiss Jieun on the lips.

Hayun was one of Ju-a’s few friends. No, in terms of relationships, she might be Ju-a’s only friend. At least, Hayun was the only person Ju-a would readily call “my friend.”

The reason Ju-a could think of Hayun that way was probably because she saw how Hayun approached her without hesitation, no matter how sharply Ju-a put up her defenses.

She knew it wasn’t a good attitude, but Ju-a was originally a coward pretending to be rational. She couldn’t honestly thank Hayun for that.

Then, perhaps it would have been more natural to like Hayun.

No, maybe.

Maybe Hayun was an object of admiration.

Someone already standing high above, whom Ju-a could never catch up to no matter how hard she tried.

Seeing how Hayun captured everyone’s hearts shortly after becoming a magical girl, rose to the position of the best magical girl, and still treated everyone kindly without becoming arrogant, Ju-a felt she could never do the same.

So, it was a feeling of admiration. That’s all it was.

Admiration is a feeling that’s both close and distant. Someone you want to empathize with and emulate but can’t. That was Hayun.

A complete person. Someone who was unreachable, who had been up there from the beginning.

That might be why she was so prickly. Because while wanting to be like that, she felt too acutely that she couldn’t be.

Then, what is the nature of the feeling Ju-a has for Jieun?

What is the reason?

It’s probably—because Ju-a empathized with Jieun.

Ju-a quietly studied Jieun’s profile.

At first glance, she looked peacefully asleep with her eyes closed, but there were slight shadows under her eyes. They were visible even in the faint light from outside because Jieun’s skin was so pale.

She remembered how Jieun used to be sharp with everyone. Like a wounded small animal, as if trying to show she wasn’t weak, Jieun would get angry.

And how she would charge ahead even when faced with an opponent she couldn’t possibly defeat.

Yes, it couldn’t be said that image was completely the same as Ju-a. If Ju-a had been in the same situation, she might have already crumbled. The wall between Jieun and Hayun was much higher than the wall between Ju-a and Hayun.

But despite that, Jieun had fought again and again.

When Jieun was a combatant, Ju-a didn’t know the reason. She just thought there was one combatant with a strong competitive spirit. At least Ju-a had seen how Jieun fought many times when she was a combatant.

And only after Jieun became a magical girl, after meeting her again and spending time with her, could Ju-a understand.

That Jieun also harbored feelings of admiration for Hayun.

And feelings of jealousy too. Friendship as well. Perhaps all the emotions a person could feel toward someone.

And she had despaired.

“…”

But even so, she didn’t give up.

So, the feeling Ju-a felt watching her was probably admiration as well.

Mixed with a bit of jealousy and competitiveness. A little empathy.

All those contradictory emotions mixed together, strangely producing a different emotion.

Because I admire her, I want to get closer. This person is looking at what I had already given up on. Then, if I do like this person, can I become like that too?

And to see the end of it all, she ultimately had to stay by her side.

When they first met, the emotion she felt seeing that distinctive combatant was a gloomy sense of superiority. That superiority she felt seeing someone similar but thinking herself above them turned into irritation at an opponent who wouldn’t give up, and then into competitiveness.

Finally, when she saw that opponent who had transformed with those emotions, she mixed admiration with all those feelings, resulting in this indescribable emotion.

Well, so—

In the end, the act of kissing beside those lips might have come from jealousy and competitiveness again.

By now, everything is so mixed up that she’s not sure what she’s competing for or what she’s jealous of.

The one thing she knows is that in this competition too, Ju-a started far behind.

But, at least, this time she didn’t want to lose.

Because it’s not just a distant existence.

Because it’s someone who has already surpassed Ju-a once, showing that it’s possible.

So.

Ju-a moved her body a little closer.

Carefully, she brought her face close to Jieun’s.

She could see Jieun’s face up close, looking more peaceful than before.

This time too, Ju-a couldn’t bring herself to kiss her on the lips. It seemed too cowardly. The next time she properly kissed her, it would be when Jieun’s eyes were open.

Instead, Ju-a lightly pressed her lips against Jieun’s cheek.

Then she hurriedly looked back.

Fortunately, no one was awake and looking in her direction.

Belatedly realizing how embarrassing her action was, Ju-a quickly lay back down in her spot and closed her eyes.

But because of her pounding heart, Ju-a couldn’t fall asleep until late into the night.

*

Is it strange to say I’m gradually getting used to waking up sandwiched between girls who are stuck to me?

Saying it like that makes me sound like some harem protagonist, but the reality is just too many girls sleeping in a small room.

No, that’s not right—the room isn’t small for two people living together.

To secure even a little space, it’s better to stick close together, so naturally people huddle with those they’re closest to.

And very naturally, when I woke up, Jihye and Ju-a were pressed against both my sides.

Thankfully, the nights are still a bit chilly. I was already sweating a little; if it had been midsummer, I probably wouldn’t have been able to sleep properly.

Our room doesn’t have air conditioning. In summer, we managed by turning on a fan. The room was spacious, and with just the two of us, there was plenty of space for air to circulate.

But with seven people in the room, would there even be space to run a fan?

…Before summer comes, we’ll need to move to a larger place or create another sleeping area for the girls. Otherwise, we’ll all be late for school waiting in line to shower in the morning.

We all got up, rubbing our eyes, and went to the dining hall for a simple breakfast.

Come to think of it, all the magical girls were unusually diligent, so getting up in the morning wasn’t a big problem.

And despite seeming like they’d have sophisticated tastes, all the magical girls ate without complaint. Well, compared to our meals from just a few days ago, this was much better, so there was nothing to complain about.

“…Is all the equipment still there?”

When I spoke with a hoarse voice that wasn’t fully awake yet, Hayun nodded.

“Yes. Should we bring it over?”

“Probably… that would be good. It would be nice to get some parts, but I don’t want to be indebted to the government or the Federation.”

I would need to move to bring it over, but it wasn’t a big deal.

…Anyway, I’ve definitely learned one good way to activate that power.

Hayun would probably do… that… without much complaint.

This isn’t particularly self-serving. It’s just that I can’t control my emotions.

Ultimately it’s my fault, but what can I do?

Let’s try it first, and if it doesn’t work—

As I scooped the remaining egg soup into my mouth with a spoon, I thought to myself how truly cowardly I was being.

*

When we arrived at school, the atmosphere was a bit strange.

Well, it was always a strange school, but today was especially so. How should I put it… there was a peculiar… peculiarly sticky gaze.

If previously that stickiness contained jealousy, the emotion I felt now was… how should I say it.

Like looking at something strange.

No, that’s also an emotion I usually feel, but now it wasn’t just directed at me.

“…”

Hayun, who was also receiving those gazes, was stuck right next to me. She even had a smile on her face, as if proud to be receiving such attention, walking as if this was perfectly normal.

“Hey, Hayun? Do you know something?”

I asked cautiously, but,

“Hm?”

Hayun just tilted her head and asked back.

Somehow the atmosphere was even more intense when we entered our classroom.

Previously, there were quite a few students who wanted to talk to Hayun, but not now. Rather, there was an atmosphere of avoiding us.

Even the students sitting in front and behind us were doing their best to avoid looking our way, not even turning around.

Why?

I frowned and looked around.

Several students were gathered at the front of the classroom, whispering. Some were glancing in our direction.

They had smartphones in their hands.

Could there be some article about us—

“…Ah.”

While thinking that, I suddenly remembered.

That there was something that could make the news.

I searched my pocket and took out my smartphone.

I went to a portal site and tapped on the most visible article.

Actually, I didn’t need to read the title. The thumbnail was already full of eye-catching pink.

The photo in the article showed two girls kissing.

A black-haired girl wearing white clothes, almost like a modified wedding dress, was kissing a pink-haired girl with neatly tied hair.

The black-haired girl had her eyes wide open as if surprised, while the pink-haired girl had her eyes closed, holding the black-haired girl’s cheeks with both hands.

It was like a kiss drawn in a picture. Something difficult to capture even if deliberately trying to photograph it.

Scrolling down past this photo that seemed taken with a telephoto lens from far away, there was another photo.

A black-haired girl kissing a purple-haired girl.

The location was clearly on top of a truck, but because it was so zoomed in, only the faces of the two girls were visible in the photo.

While the clothes of the girls in the first photo were neat, making it look almost like a wedding photo, this time they were torn in places and had something dirty on them.

Like a scene from a war movie.

Both photos were… well, very well taken…

I see. It makes sense that there would be reporters near the school.

And since the warp point is essentially used like an airport, there would likely be reporters there too.

For reporters, a kissing scene between magical girls would be a very appealing story.

Looking at the article, I felt very disgruntled.

Well, I mean.

It did actually happen.

It is good material for an article.

But still, isn’t this a bit much for students?

I looked over at Hayun.

Looking at me, Hayun had a playful smile on her face.

The students whispered even more seeing Hayun like that.

…I wonder if this is happening in Ju-a’s class too?

I sighed deeply and pressed my hand to my forehead.

Yes, there was a reason they were keeping their distance.

I could already feel a headache coming on, anticipating how Rose would tease me mercilessly starting this evening.