Ch.112The One Who Left (2)

After stopping by the bathroom to learn how to use sanitary pads, I put one on and came out.

But this is seriously uncomfortable. Wearing it feels strange, and Haeun said I need to change it every two hours.

Being a man was definitely more convenient when I didn’t have to worry about things like this. So when I return to being male, things will get much easier.

But now I feel reluctant about going back to those days. Unlike then, I’ve developed feelings for someone.

They say your mind follows your body, so once I change back, this will just become a memory. But that doesn’t sit well with me.

When I think about these feelings completely disappearing, my heart suddenly feels empty and lonely. Yet staying as a woman doesn’t seem right either.

My mind and body were both male before—how could I live as a woman? And the thought of falling in love with a man still feels terrible.

Yet it’s equally strange that I think it would be okay if it’s Ju-an. He’s been my friend for decades—how could that possibly be okay?

While I was struggling with these confusing thoughts, Agath suddenly came over and said:

“Your body is already weak, and now you have your period on top of that. It must be tough, but hang in there.”

“…Why does it feel so strange to see you not making sexual jokes, Agath?”

“Should I make some like usual then?”

“I don’t particularly want to see you forcing yourself to act normal. It’s fine if it comes naturally, but not if you’re pretending.”

“Alright, then hang in there.”

Agath encouraged me with a forced smile. I never thought I’d miss her usual self so much.

It seems I won’t be seeing Agath’s playful side for a while. Actually, this state might continue for quite some time.

Thinking about that makes guilt rise up again. If only I had just stayed put, none of this would have happened…

As I continued to be weighed down by guilt, Ju-an returned.

“I’ve told the Guild Master everything. Now I’ll show you where you’ll be staying, so please follow me.”

Everyone maintained a cold atmosphere as they began following Ju-an.

I temporarily put aside my self-loathing and followed him too. I can always get back to that later.

Everyone was assigned their rooms, but for some reason, no room was designated for me.

I wondered if this was just a roundabout way of saying I had no place to stay. But this treatment didn’t feel so bad.

At least if I think of it as punishment, it somewhat eases my guilt.

Just as I was about to sink back into self-loathing, Ju-an suddenly made an outrageous statement.

“Oh right, you’ll be staying in my room with me.”

“…What?”

“Someone was constantly targeting you before, and there’s no guarantee they won’t now. It’s much easier to keep you close.”

It seems Ju-an is doing this to protect me. But this just feels unnecessarily awkward.

“It doesn’t matter if someone like me disappears anyway. Don’t make yourself uncomfortable because of me.”

“What if it’s more uncomfortable for me when you’re not around?”

“I don’t want to hear insincere words.”

“I’m being sincere.”

Ju-an’s voice revealed his firm resolve. At least that wasn’t a lie. But even so, staying together feels awkward.

“It’s strange for people of the opposite sex to share a room anyway. Just give me another room.”

“Before, you were the one who said friends don’t care about that stuff when we slept together.”

“Well, back then I didn’t have romantic feelings… I mean… anyway, it’s different now.”

“So you’re saying we’ve grown that far apart?”

“That’s not what I meant!”

“Then why was it okay then but not now?”

Ju-an asked with a sly smile. I really want to hit him.

Regardless, I must have been crazy back then. Why did I do such strange things?

Let’s think about staying with Ju-an now. What would it be like if we stayed together in that room?

…But maybe it wouldn’t be a big deal? Given Ju-an’s personality, there’s no chance of anything inappropriate happening. If there had been, something serious would have happened long ago.

Besides, it might be safer to stay with Ju-an than risk being kidnapped elsewhere and causing trouble.

He was the one who suggested we stay together first. So I should just accept it without hesitation.

“Alright, let’s stay together for now.”

When Ju-an heard my words, his eyes widened. Then he said in a faltering voice:

“Um… this was just a joke…”

He says it was all just a joke. Of course—would someone with Ju-an’s personality really suggest such a thing?

But now I want to play a joke on him in return. I should teach him not to speak carelessly.

“Then why can’t we stay together?”

“Well… we’re of the opposite sex, so staying together…”

“We’ve slept together before, right? So why not now?”

“…”

Having his own words thrown back at him, Ju-an was left speechless. Now he must clearly understand that you reap what you sow.

“You said with your own mouth that it’s uncomfortable when I’m not around.”

“No… being in the next room would be fine…”

“Being in the next room doesn’t guarantee safety, does it?”

“That’s true, but…”

“I’ll go in first. By the way, should I bring my clothes there?”

“If you ask at the guild supply center, they’ll probably give you those things for free. I’ll take you there later and explain in detail.”

Ju-an sighed and spoke with a slightly expectant voice. But when should I stop this joke?

I don’t know. I’ll stop when it feels like it’s going too far. With that, I opened the door to Ju-an’s room and went in.

My extremely red face reflected in the full-length mirror in the room.

The bed size is more awkward than I expected. It’s certainly big enough for two people to sleep together. But that would inevitably mean being very close.

Should I just sleep on the floor? While I was thinking about this, Ju-an grabbed a wooden sword from the room and said:

“I’m going to train for a bit and then come back.”

Once Ju-an leaves, I’ll be alone in this room. Should I look around to see what’s in his room?

No, there’s too little to see. The computer is somewhat interesting, but I’m not really drawn to it right now.

I should find something to do alone or a way to spend time with someone. If I stay alone like this, I’ll just keep hating myself.

While thinking about what to do, a not-so-bad plan came to mind.

“Can I watch you train?”

“It’ll be boring, are you sure?”

“Who was it that said they couldn’t feel at ease when I wasn’t around?”

“…Fine, come with me. Oh, let’s stop by the supply center on the way to get some clothes for you.”

Ju-an quickly avoided my gaze and spoke in an embarrassed voice. That’s what he gets for saying such cheesy things.

I should go get what I need and see what Ju-an usually does.

***

Ju-an’s training method involved continuous sparring with various people. Indeed, nothing is more effective than actual combat.

But it’s a stretch to call it sparring. Given the huge difference in skill levels, Ju-an had to impose multiple penalties on himself during the matches.

It’s hard to believe that Ju-an, who used to hate exercise so much, has changed like this. If I went back in time and told people about this, no one would believe me.

Honestly, even now it’s hard to believe how strong Ju-an has become. I wonder just how strong he is now.

“Ju-an? How strong are you exactly?”

“I’m stronger than most people, but my technique is severely lacking.”

“Isn’t that quite skilled already?”

“Compared to the previous Hero, I’m nowhere near good enough.”

Ju-an looked at his sword with anxious eyes. But it’s not really fair to compare the two.

Leo spent decades single-mindedly honing himself to defeat the Demon King.

“But shouldn’t Leo be considered an exception? He has much more experience than you.”

“Maybe I could become stronger than him eventually, but we only have a week left until the battle.”

“…That’s true.”

Who might be stronger in the future doesn’t matter much now. Why do I keep thinking we have plenty of time left?

Yet even in this urgent situation, I’m not doing anything. Is there really nothing I can do?

If only I had come to this world even three years earlier. At least then I could have exercised and built up some hope.

While I was thinking this, Ju-an suddenly spoke with burning enthusiasm:

“Even if nothing changes, I have to keep trying.”

“I think I’d give up right away in that situation.”

“How could I give up when someone precious to me is right beside me?”

Ju-an smiled at me as he said this. I hurriedly turned my head away.

He’s seriously handsome, and unlike before, he’s even built some muscle…

“J-Ju-an? I’m going to head back first.”

“Where are you going?”

“Well… since it’s that time of the month, I just want to lie down and rest…”

“That time? Are you feeling sick somewhere?”

“It’s just that kind of thing! I’m going first!”

With that, I hastily left. Do I need to avoid Ju-an until I can wish to return to being a man?