Ch.112Secret Conversation (4)

*

“Did you kill them?”

The guilt of Silvia toward Alice was so great that it had been hidden, but I was just as guilty.

The blade of judgment wielded by my conscience was pointed directly at me.

I had no intention of evading the situation with lies, but I was also certain that no falsehood would work.

Unlike her trembling voice, Alice’s gaze was fixed steadily on me.

It was clear that no lie would work in front of her.

Yet, why couldn’t I bring myself to speak?

Was it guilt toward the dead?

Or was it fear that Alice might never forgive Silvia and me?

If not that, was it simply because I was nothing more than a coward?

Unable to summon the courage to confess my wrongdoing and beg for forgiveness, I couldn’t say anything.

I could only nod my head miserably.

“Hah,”

Alice’s sigh, or perhaps lament, echoed briefly.

With a miserable smile and clenched fists, her gaze remained firmly fixed on my downcast face.

“… Look up.”

“…”

“Look at me, Ash. Now.”

Despite Alice’s demand, I couldn’t bring myself to raise my head.

So she reached out and forcibly lifted my face.

Her sudden touch was as firm and strong as Silvia’s.

“Ugh,”

“…Did you kill them? Ash… was it you?”

“… Yes,”

Alice’s eyes kept twitching and convulsing.

Was it because she was holding back her emotions, or was it the pain caused by her holy power blocking the curse transmitted through our eye contact?

Her fingers holding my chin trembled slightly.

“… It was because of the curse.”

“…”

“It wasn’t your will.”

Alice slowly released my chin and then caressed my cheek as she spoke.

Of course, what she said was true.

This curse, which distorts the human mind with rage and madness, had led to murder.

No, even the term “murder” was too polite and refined for what happened.

The atrocity I committed that day was closer to something a terrible demon from hell would do rather than an evil human.

I remember it clearly.

Not wanting to kill someone because you hate them, but wanting to kill because you must kill.

The ecstasy that comes from tearing apart the opponent and destroying the human body, and the endless hatred for living human flesh.

The overwhelming murderous intent that no normal human could comprehend was clearly due to the curse.

Yet I didn’t make excuses.

Because I knew too well the feelings of someone who had lost a precious person and had nowhere to direct their resentment.

But despite not making any excuses, Alice extended a hand of understanding and tolerance to me first.

“You, who would go along with Eric’s foolishness just to avoid fighting, couldn’t have wanted to kill people.”

“…Alice,”

“My subordinates died… because I recklessly sent them into this forest… It’s my fault, all my fault.”

She slowly withdrew her hand from my cheek and lowered her head.

Her hands, which tightly gripped the sleeves of the cloth garment I had given her, were trembling.

“I… I caused their deaths, and I… made Ash confine himself to this forest…”

“No. Ever since I heard about the curse from Silvia, I had no intention of leaving the forest.”

“You didn’t want to leave?”

“…Well,”

“There’s a difference between following the instruction that you can’t leave and not even having the desire to leave.”

“…”

“You completely gave up on leaving the forest after killing my subordinates… didn’t you?”

Her words hit me like a blow to the back of my head.

The subtle difference I hadn’t even recognized because the fact that I shouldn’t leave the forest had become so obvious to me.

‘I shouldn’t leave’ versus ‘I can’t leave.’

When did I start thinking that I couldn’t leave this forest?

Of course, I never thought I could meet someone who could help me, but why, when I actually met someone with the ability to help me, did I avoid eye contact without a moment’s hesitation?

“No, that’s not it.”

“Ash.”

“Me… hurting those priests… of course, it was terrible and a huge shock to me… but my inability to leave the forest isn’t because of that guilt.”

“…”

“They died because of me. It’s not guilt that you should carry. It’s not your sin.”

“…Ugh,”

Alice lowered her head even more.

The sight of her showing me her crown while her whole body trembled slightly was somehow very unfamiliar.

Her shoulders somehow looked very small.

I silently grasped her shoulders.

She silently leaned her shoulder against mine.

Both of us were feeling guilt and self-loathing that was difficult to bear alone.

As if trying to forget that pain with each other’s warmth, we leaned our shoulders against each other and rested our heads on each other’s shoulders.

Only when her face came close to my ear did I hear her soft sobbing.

After a few seconds of silence, she slowly opened her mouth with a slightly hoarse voice.

“Ash.”

“…Yes?”

“It’s not your fault. You know that, right?”

“What? That they died? Or that I decided to live in this forest?”

“… Both.”

I shook my head and said.

“It’s not your fault either.”

“… No, it is.”

But Alice firmly shook her head.

Certainly, my words were just irresponsible comfort to console her.

While my confinement in this forest might not be her sin, both she and I were clearly responsible for their deaths.

However, comparing her, who sent them into this danger, with me, who killed them—I was the one who committed the greater sin.

I patted her heaving back and said.

“Then it’s my fault.”

“… What are you—”

“But thank you… Alice, for saying that.”

I cut off Alice’s words and hugged her tightly, but she broke free from my embrace and held my face, looking straight into my eyes.

She glared at me with tear-filled eyes and said.

“Listen, Ash. They came to this damned forest because of my orders, and you harmed them involuntarily because of the curse.”

“… That—”

“So, you don’t need to feel guilty.”

“…”

“You don’t need to confine yourself to this forest because of guilt.”

After saying that, she tightly embraced my head.

“…Alice?”

“So…”

She whispered into my ear in a very small voice, as if worried that Silvia might secretly hear from far away.

“Let’s leave the forest together.”

*

“What are you saying, Alice…”

“Exactly what I said. Let’s get out of this damn forest together.”

“But this curse…”

“It can be solved.”

Alice looked straight at me and declared.

“I couldn’t break the curse, but that doesn’t mean it’s completely impossible. I’m not a professional curse-breaker.”

I gasped in surprise.

“…Then Silvia too.”

“No,”

She shook her head.

“Silvia’s curse, directly from the Demon King, is different from yours. I can tell by the difference in pain my eyes feel.”

“…”

“Breaking Silvia’s curse is impossible, but yours, which is merely a degraded copy, can definitely be broken.”

“… Then, what about Silvia?”

“Ash.”

Alice interrupted me with a heavy voice.

“I’ve asked you two questions.”

“…Huh?”

“And I’ve learned that you truly love Silvia and that you killed my subordinates.”

“…”

“And I’ve revealed that your curse can be broken.”

I nodded silently, overwhelmed by her intensity.

“Now this is my final question.”

“…”

“Is the conclusion that you can’t leave the forest something you came to on your own?”

It took me a moment to understand the intention behind her question.

But slowly. Very slowly.

Bit by bit, I began to grasp what Alice was trying to say.

Finally, when I fully understood the meaning behind her last question.

Suddenly, a familiar voice flashed through my mind.

‘I told you, Ash.’

‘You can’t leave now.’

‘You can’t leave me.’

That’s when it happened.

The sound of the cabin door opening reached us, and Alice and I turned our heads toward it simultaneously.

“Are you very hungry? I caught plenty.”

Silvia entered the cabin with a smile.

In her hand was the metal container that had imprisoned Alice, now filled with fish that were slowly dying as they flopped around.

The red campfire clearly illuminated the world filled with darkness.

It illuminated those red eyes that looked down at us with a sharp gaze that contrasted with the faint smile on Silvia’s lips.

.