Ch.110Chapter 18. Repayment (1)

When I was young, there was something in light novels that I couldn’t understand.

Statements like “ordinary daily life is precious” or “I want to protect this ordinary life.”

Whenever protagonists with extraordinary abilities, who were constantly surrounded by beautiful girls, and who had perfect families said such things, I wondered why they would say that.

It didn’t resonate with me as I lived a boring and tedious daily life.

Unfortunately, the high school I attended was an all-boys school, so there was no room for “beautiful girls” to enter the picture.

And truthfully, even if it had been co-ed, there would have been no reason for any beautiful girl to talk to me.

I longed for an extraordinary life. Without even knowing what “ordinary” really meant.

It took me far too long to realize how precious that ordinariness was.

They say precious things are always close by, and people only regret after losing them.

That was me in my previous life.

The way back was such an ordinary path.

Of course, the school I attend is far from the high school I once knew. It’s not just because it’s co-ed. It’s not just because it’s a Japanese high school.

Hanakawa High School was the kind of unusual high school you’d only find in light novels or manga. From a general perspective, there were quite a few things about it that weren’t ordinary.

But the word “ordinary” isn’t absolute.

Everyone lives a life of repeated daily routines, and those repeated routines are what can be called “ordinary.”

For me, it was like before I lost my entire family in an instant.

In this world, it would be like my friends.

Everyone was safe. That was enough.

“Meow.”

As if reading my thoughts, Kuro made a small cry.

“Shh.”

I made a small sound toward my bag.

I’m glad I brought a large backpack. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have had any idea how to carry Kuro around.

…Actually, I have no idea how he even got here.

From Saitama to Tokyo, well, okay, I can accept that. It’s a distance that people can walk in a few hours if they try hard.

But from Saitama to Kyoto?

Even taking the Shinkansen from Tokyo to Kyoto takes a little over two hours. The idea that a single cat could travel such a distance, and accurately find where I am, is absurd.

“You’re the one who followed me on your own. Bear with the discomfort a little.”

If I truly thought Kuro was a normal cat, I would have bought a pet carrier somehow. After all, putting my pet cat in a bag seemed like animal abuse. Plus, it was against regulations.

But Kuro was clearly not a normal cat.

…I figured he could tolerate being in a bag.

Actually, I did briefly consider leaving him behind. If he was a magical cat that could instantly travel between Saitama and Kyoto, he could probably do the reverse too.

But if I did that and he didn’t follow me, I wouldn’t feel good about it.

Besides—

“Sneaking into my bag and following me on your own, you troublemaker.”

That’s what happened.

Kuro had mysteriously disappeared around the time I was discharged, then casually appeared in our lodging room.

I pretended to be surprised—which wasn’t difficult since I genuinely was—and had to explain that Kuro had snuck into my bag and come along. Fortunately, my roommates believed it.

In truth, they didn’t have much choice but to believe it. There really was no other explanation.

That’s also why I put Kuro in my bag. The lodging didn’t allow pets, so there was no other good way to bring him out. If I had put him in a carrier, it would have advertised that I brought a pet, and that would have caused trouble for Ms. Suzuki.

Since he’s such a smart cat, he should understand this much.

I handed my bag to Fukuda, who was staring at it intently.

With a brightened expression, Fukuda took the bag and peered at Kuro through the slightly open zipper.

He’s grown a bit since coming to our house, but he’s still a young cat. Tucked inside the bag, he looked that much cuter.

When Fukuda slightly inserted a finger through the open zipper and moved it, Kuro’s black paw rose slightly as if trying to catch the finger.

Seeing Fukuda do this, Yamashita also discreetly inserted his finger, apparently wanting to join in.

…Well, well.

Looking at him act like this, he seems just like a normal cat.

“Uu.”

Just as I had my doubts about Kuro, Koko seemed to have her own questions.

The way she tilted her head while looking at the bag was meaningful.

…A cat cared for by the protagonist’s little sister.

Come to think of it, it would have made sense for him to appear dramatically in moments of crisis to help once.

Did I steal such a cat midway?

Cats do appear occasionally in the Cthulhu mythos.

Let’s see…

There was a short story about an elderly couple who abused cats and were torn apart without a trace by a group of cats.

“…”

I looked at the bag containing Kuro with suspicion.

“Oh, sorry. Did we hold onto him for too long? Here.”

Interpreting my gaze somehow, Fukuda stopped playing with Kuro’s paw and handed the bag back to me.

Yamashita looked at the bag with a hint of regret. Come to think of it, Yamashita seemed to have liked him from the first time they met.

Well, he is a kitten. Unless someone particularly dislikes cats, they’d probably at least appreciate the appearance of a cat, even if they wouldn’t want to keep one.

I briefly considered leaving the cat with Yamashita but quickly dismissed the thought.

Abandoning him to someone else would also be abuse.

After taking the bag back from Fukuda, I glanced inside again.

The cat’s eyes glowed yellow in the light entering the bag.

“…”

I hope he doesn’t consider being put in a bag as abuse.

*

After debating whether to have a post-trip gathering, we decided to part ways and recover from the travel fatigue.

The school was temporarily closed, probably thinking that going to school right after a three-day trip wouldn’t be productive. Well, they close for founding anniversary days too, so maybe taking one day off at the school’s discretion isn’t a big deal.

And anyway, they’ll probably just deduct a day from our vacation.

I had arranged to take a day off from my part-time job until tomorrow, so I planned to meet my friends tomorrow.

After returning home, taking a quick shower, and drying my hair, I sat down in front of Kuro.

Already curled up on the table, Kuro had a bored expression as if he already knew what I was going to say.

It’s annoying that he looks bored before I even start talking. But I didn’t get angry. If he really was some divine being, I didn’t particularly want to antagonize him.

“Kuro?”

I addressed Kuro again.

“Meow.”

“No, not cat sounds.”

I said with a serious expression.

“Can’t you speak in a language I can understand?”

“Meow.”

Does he think I can understand cat language? No, there’s no such thing as cat language anyway.

“If you’re just going to act like a cat, then don’t show any signs that you’re not.”

I said.

“Then I wouldn’t be so confused.”

“Kotone?”

Hearing my words, Koko tilted her head beside me.

“…”

I kept quiet for a moment.

Kuro, who had been looking elsewhere as if uninterested, was now staring at me.

…Right.

I loved ordinariness. I wished for the ordinariness that would never become special.

A life like before I lost my family in my previous life, where I just had a family to return to and have meals with occasionally.

However, when you actually have family around, sometimes you want to be alone.

I know it’s a terrible thought. It’s wrong to think that sometimes I wish they weren’t by my side after finally getting what I had longed for.

When I first started living alone, I sometimes felt uncomfortable when my family visited my apartment. I got annoyed when my mom pointed out the state of my room, felt uncomfortable when my dad sat there looking uneasy, and got angry when my sibling picked fights.

Only after losing all of that at once did I wish for it again. And ironically, what I thought was, “If I could have it back, I’d never think like that again.”

It’s the same now.

Even though I’m finally not alone anymore.

I didn’t want to be interrupted while talking to Kuro.

I closed my eyes briefly and calmed my mind.

…Right. Don’t think like that. I don’t want to leave Koko with bad memories by treating her that way.

But then—

If so—

…

“…Please.”

Yes, what is there to hide?

She’s a child living in the same place anyway. If this cat is not an ordinary cat, it would be better for Koko to know.

Having organized my thoughts, I decided to just be honest.

“My mind has been so complicated lately. There’s too much to think about, you know? Whether they’re trying to kill me, or capture me for something else. I still don’t understand what Kosuzu is thinking.”

Kuro’s ears perked up.

Koko, sitting beside me, had a blank expression as she looked at me.

Avoiding eye contact with Koko, I looked straight at Kuro and spoke.

“Honestly, I don’t know what to do going forward. I know a little about the future, but that’s it. There’s so much more I don’t know. No, it’s all things I don’t know. What good is knowing just a few outcomes? Kosuzu, the cult, and that guy don’t tell me anything.”

Once I started pouring out my thoughts, the words just flowed.

I quickly closed my mouth. Then I glanced at Koko.

This must be the first time Koko has seen me like this. No, among the people in this world, there’s no one who has seen me like this before.

I rarely spoke like this even in front of my family in my previous life.

But… I couldn’t bear it without venting a little.

Especially at times like this.

“So, I’d like to know a little about you at least. The others… they’re all far away.”

Kosuzu, who is hostile, and even Kagami, are not people who are normally around here.

Most of my friends live in different worlds. Even those who know about our identity or have slightly stepped into it.

I didn’t want to drag them into a bloody world.

Yuka… Yuka had too much to bear for the future. To protect the world. There was no need to add my worries to that.

So, for now, at least, it was something I had to handle.

“You’re with us. So, can’t you tell me something so I don’t worry?”

“…Kotone…”

Koko murmured my name as she listened to me from the side.

I gave Koko a slight smile. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem to work well. Koko’s expression darkened after seeing my face.

Perhaps I said too much unnecessarily. And especially when Koko was beside me.

I regret it a bit.

“…”

I quietly looked at Kuro. Kuro was still curled up, staring at me.

Maybe it’s my imagination, but his eyes seemed a bit larger.

But even after staring for a long time, Kuro didn’t say anything to me.

“…Haah.”

I sighed deeply.

Fine, have it your way.

None of the beings around me ever spoke straightforwardly anyway.

Maybe I should call Kagami.

If I delve deep into the cult, he might be able to give me some proper information.

“…Are you hungry? Let’s eat.”

I said as I got up.

Going to the kitchen, I filled a bowl with cat food. Kuro followed me out of the room, lazily walking, then buried his face in the food bowl and started crunching away.

I opened the refrigerator.

…At least there was still some meat I had bought cheaply last time.

Let’s have meat today.

We just returned from Kyoto, after all. I couldn’t suddenly serve a vegetarian meal to Koko after she had been eating delicious food for three days straight.

*

“…Kotone.”

“Yes.”

Night.

After clearing the table and laying out the futons, as we lay side by side, Koko called out to me.

Was it because of my lament to Kuro earlier? There was a hint of worry in Koko’s voice.

Now I’m even making Koko worry about me.

I sighed deeply inside.

“Is it hard?”

“…No. It’s not like that.”

I answered Koko’s question.

“But earlier.”

“…”

After a moment of hesitation, I said.

“…I just had that thought briefly. I’m fine now.”

“Uu.”

Koko doesn’t seem to believe me.

“There’s no need to worry. It’s really nothing.”

The emotion I felt then.

The feeling of wanting to be alone with no one around—I tried my best to hide it as I said that.

“I’m really fine now.”

I lied.

“…Okay.”

Only after I said that did Koko respond.

Of course, her voice wasn’t entirely convinced.

I regretted it a little, thinking I shouldn’t have done that.

*

A dream.

I’ve been dreaming a lot lately.

The fortunate thing is that this time, it wasn’t a dream about my family being massacred.

Instead, the place I was in was one of the places I often see.

Yes, this old apartment where I live.

The reason I thought this was a dream was because Koko, who is always by my side when I’m here, wasn’t present.

If it wasn’t a dream, I would have woken up in the morning or in the middle of the night.

…

It’s strange in itself to recognize that you’re in a dream while dreaming.

“Meow.”

I heard a sound I often hear when I’m at home.

Somehow, I was sitting at the table.

And in front of me was Kuro.

“…”

The last time I had a dream, I met Nirlas.

“…Kuro?”

I cautiously called out.

Kuro stared at me silently for a while.

I thought I sensed some intelligence in that gaze. The Kuro I usually see is often sprawled out in a sunny spot with an expression that suggests he doesn’t want to do anything. Naturally, the emotion visible in his eyes is usually “annoyance.”

He only brightens his eyes when I occasionally have treats in my hand.

“…I have something I want to ask.”

I asked without any expectation, but Kuro spoke.

Or should I say, it was as if someone had dubbed over Kuro’s video.

His mouth didn’t move, but I could hear a voice.

“Do you think a cat can speak human language?”

“…Huh?”

“The vocal organs are different, the vocal organs.”

Kuro’s tail moved, and he poked at his neck area as he spoke.

Naturally, Kuro’s tail isn’t that long in reality. It stretched naturally like a rubber band, so it didn’t feel creepy.

“What sound can a cat make other than meowing?”

And then Kuro made a “Meow~” sound as if for me to hear.

No matter how I listened, it was “Meow” and not “Nyaong,” but it didn’t seem appropriate to nitpick such a minor detail right now.

“…Then, what about transforming into a human body?”

“Right there? Suddenly?”

Kuro asked in response to my question.

I was momentarily at a loss for words.

Is that not allowed?

“What if I become like that in front of you? What form should I maintain afterward?”

“…”

“You’ll keep talking to me, and this child will have to keep changing forms to answer. Eventually, even the identity as a cat will be shaken.”

Identity as a cat…

Feeling an emotion that’s hard to put into words, I mulled over that phrase and then asked again.

“‘This child,’ you say?”

“Yes.”

Whoever the speaker is, it seems they’re a different entity from Kuro.

“Um… So, everything that’s happened so far wasn’t done by Kuro?”

I asked in a somewhat confused state.

“Both yes and no.”

An even more confusing answer came back.

“Kuro wanted it, and I gave the power.”

“…”

“Why did Kuro?”

“Who would open the cans if you died?”

“…”

I was at a loss for words again at that statement.

Frustratingly, it was the most understandable statement in this conversation with the cat.

Right. Cats are as bad at opening cans as they are at speaking human language.

“Don’t take that too seriously, though.”

The other party responded when I didn’t say anything.

“So, this too was because Kuro wanted it?”

“Well, yes.”

Hmm.

I fell into thought for a moment and then asked.

“So, who are you?”

“Your manner of speech is quite rude. Don’t you think that a being who communicates with you like this would be far above you?”

“Is there a way to distinguish if this is a real dream or not?”

“That’s a fair point.”

Kuro’s tail swayed left and right once.

“But I don’t intend to reveal my name right away.”

“Why?”

“Because I love cats too much. So much that I even imitate their behavior.”

“…”

“If that wasn’t the case, you might not have been safe. I could have cut off your head immediately for being disrespectful, you know?”

The entity in Kuro’s form stretched its front paws forward and yawned widely.

“Well, seeing that we can meet like this, you’re probably not an ordinary human either. See you next time.”

“You’re leaving?”

“I’ve told you what I wanted to tell.”

Kuro jumped down and walked proudly with his tail held high.

As he approached the door of the room, the sliding door opened with a smooth sound.

Beyond it was not the entrance but shallow steps stacked one after another.

“Ah, right.”

After climbing about three steps, Kuro turned back and said.

“There’s no need to worry so much, is there? No need to rush. Just live comfortably, like a cat. With leisure, even the invisible becomes visible. If you don’t have time, then enjoy it all the more leisurely in proportion to what you lack. Meow.”

Kuro left such a meow as if saying goodbye, then turned around again.

And he walked proudly up the stairs leading to the sky.

With a smooth sound, the door closed again—

And I opened my eyes.