Ch.106Chapter 18. A Certain Emotion (2)

After weighing our options, we ended up staying at the orphanage.

There were several reasons for this decision.

First, the government wasn’t particularly happy about us leaving. Though that wasn’t the only reason we stayed.

I did feel we needed to show good faith, but honestly, my biggest concern was personal.

I couldn’t bring myself to leave Jihye, who was looking at me with such hopeful eyes.

Besides, the other children didn’t seem eager to return home either. We’d grown accustomed to relying on each other, making separation difficult.

Above all, we were in the middle of fighting an enemy. If we separated and couldn’t regroup, we might lose our chance at victory.

…Perhaps they were all still children who preferred avoiding their parents’ nagging.

The government also seemed reluctant to send the other children home, possibly fearing they’d be convinced by their parents to disperse.

It’s ironic. In this country, minors can’t even go to karaoke late at night, yet all those rules are being ignored.

I wonder if parents are protesting, or if they’re actually happy about having deeper government involvement?

“You need to wash up, right?” Jihye said with a bright smile once she knew I was staying at least for today.

I couldn’t deny it. Entering the building in my current state was already quite rude. If my clothes touched the walls, they’d leave indelible black stains.

“…Yeah.”

Though it wasn’t bedtime yet or even dinner time, I agreed that washing up was necessary.

Jihye immediately grabbed my wrist and took me to the teacher.

When I said I wanted to wash up, the teacher gladly agreed. Not just for me, but for all the others too.

Our orphanage had undergone several renovations to improve its facilities, mostly thanks to donation money I’d been contributing since I started working in middle school.

The shower wasn’t completely private, but at least each room had its own bathroom with a shower. In that sense, our orphanage had excellent facilities.

There was no bathtub, and the space wasn’t particularly large. But it was sufficient for one person to wash up.

For the first time in ages, I was able to thoroughly clean myself.

I pretended not to notice the black stuff that came out when I shampooed my hair, focusing instead on washing away all the odors from my body.

After drying myself thoroughly, I stepped out feeling refreshed and found clothes that Jihye had left outside the door.

“…”

Everything was clean, washed, and ironed.

How long had it been since I’d seen clean clothes?

Of course, we’d washed our clothes and underwear diligently before, but with detergent in short supply, hand washing could never match machine washing.

After putting on the clothes Jihye had brought, I stepped outside feeling refreshed, and she welcomed me with a bright smile.

The other children still looked dirty and exhausted, but there was a subtle anticipation on their faces that gave me an odd feeling. After all, these kids had all lived in homes I couldn’t even have imagined in my past life.

They shouldn’t be impressed by a mere orphanage.

…Then again, we’d been carefully rationing our limited toiletries. Even I felt indescribably refreshed after cleaning up properly, so how must these formerly well-off children feel?

“…I can lend you my clothes. I should have plenty in the closet,” I said, belatedly realizing the children had nothing to change into.

Jihye jumped in surprise. “No! I’ll lend them my clothes and underwear! I have plenty too!”

Hayun made a subtle expression hearing this. Perhaps she didn’t like wearing someone else’s underwear?

Unfortunately, this room only contained clothes worn by me and Jihye. We weren’t affluent enough to buy new clothes and leave them unworn.

“Will the sizes work?” I asked.

“If anything, your clothes might be too loose—oh.”

Jihye stopped herself mid-sentence, her face turning red as my eyes narrowed.

“…Well, my clothes might indeed be too big,” I sighed.

“Let’s just try them on and see which ones are more comfortable.”

Honestly, Jihye’s clothes might be a bit loose on Ju-a too, but that shouldn’t matter much.

“…”

Hayun went into the shower next, and we fell silent for a moment.

I’d managed to open up somewhat with the magical girls lately, but Jihye hadn’t. She must feel incredibly awkward and uncomfortable. After all, these weren’t just “peers” but actual magical girls.

I plopped down on the floor. We hadn’t laid out the bedding yet, but it already felt incredibly comfortable.

No wind seeping in from outside, no strange noises from the mountains. Above all, this place was my “home” where I’d lived all my life.

I felt all the tension draining from my body.

I wanted to just lie down completely.

That’s right.

Here, I could just roll around on the floor without worry. This was an actual “indoor” space.

Not some abandoned ruin decades old with no doors, where dust freely entered with the wind.

As soon as that thought crossed my mind, I flopped down on the floor.

“Jieun?” Jihye asked, somewhat startled. Of course, she must still feel uncomfortable around the magical girls. Was I being too self-centered?

But once my mind relaxed, it was hard to tense up again.

There were still many unresolved issues. Above all, I needed to find Pang Pang. Even now, she might be suffering after being kidnapped by the chairman—

Various thoughts swirled in my head, but it was difficult to get up once I’d sprawled out on the floor.

So much had happened. Perhaps my mind had been rigid with tension all this time. Part of it still was, but the relief of returning home felt much stronger at the moment.

Yes. Until the government brought information, there wasn’t much we could do, and if we kept fighting continuously, we might simply collapse.

Rest was important.

“Jieun.”

Perhaps Jihye was worried about me suddenly lying down.

Certainly, when someone who seemed fine moments ago suddenly lies down and doesn’t get up, it’s natural to worry. Especially someone obviously exhausted in body and mind.

I reached out toward Jihye, who was bending over with a concerned expression.

Did she think I wanted help getting up?

Jihye took my hand, but I pulled her down forcefully.

And made her lie beside me.

Well, she didn’t burrow into my arms like Hayun did. Of course not. No matter what, I’m not that thick-skinned.

But still.

Lying side by side like this, looking up at the ceiling, was something we’d done often since childhood.

Maybe I should play some music.

I wonder if the player still works. Last time I saw it, it was lying pathetically on the floor. Along with the music CDs Hayun had given me.

How long had it been since all this started? Everything from before felt like ancient history.

Even though I didn’t want to see it that way.

Ah.

Perhaps I’d let my guard down too much.

My consciousness slowly drifted away. Not fainting, but that sensation when you’re so tired that your eyelids grow heavy the moment you lie down.

Perhaps I’d been longing for Jihye and my home just as much as Jihye needed me.

The familiar ceiling, the familiar floor. Familiar people. Things I thought I might have to give up forever while I was away.

Thinking that these things were right beside me now, I felt my mind slowly unwinding.

Even if it was temporary. Even if I might have to leave again.

I vaguely felt the warm sensation of someone holding my hand.

In the end, pushing aside the part of my mind saying “I shouldn’t do this,” I fell into a deep sleep.

*

Hayun finished washing up as quickly as possible, suppressing her desire for a long shower. Of course, it was still incomparably cleaner than washing in that abandoned building.

But when she came out, hoping to talk with Jieun, she found her asleep on the floor.

Without a blanket or pillow, yet looking as comfortable as could be.

And beside her lay Jihye.

Jihye was lying with one arm tucked beside her head, facing Jieun.

One of Jieun’s hands was held in Jihye’s.

Had she pushed herself too hard since this morning?

No, that couldn’t be it. Jieun had the stamina to fight much harder battles and return perfectly fine.

This meant that the entire situation had been weighing on Jieun.

An environment where she could never feel safe, never rest comfortably. Where she had to remain constantly vigilant about what might happen next.

Staying in such conditions for so long would naturally wear down anyone’s mental state.

This place was Jieun’s “home.”

It wasn’t strange that she would feel relaxed coming back after so long. And besides—

“…”

Jihye, lying beside Jieun without saying a word, just watching her.

Unlike Hayun and Ju-a, she wasn’t actively snuggling into Jieun’s arms or clinging to her side.

She was simply holding one hand lightly, silently watching over her.

Just with that, Jieun had fallen into a deep sleep without any wariness, as if everything was fine.

…Hope.

The circuit on Jieun’s wrist glowed white whenever Hayun and Ju-a clung to her.

It had glowed intensely when Hayun lightly kissed near Jieun’s mouth.

But that light had turned black after the kidnapping of the friend who had helped Jieun.

Neither Hayun nor Ju-a could restore it to its original state, but—

Now, on the left wrist of Jieun, who was sleeping peacefully with her chest rising and falling gently, a soft white light was shining—different from when Hayun and Ju-a had clung to her.

Family.

An existence that nothing in the world could replace.

That was the atmosphere emanating from Jieun and Jihye lying side by side.

“…I’ll go wash up now,” Ju-a said belatedly, having forgotten it was her turn as she quietly observed the two, and entered the bathroom.

“…”

Hayun turned around when someone lightly tapped her shoulder—it was Rose.

“Stay strong.”

After saying that quietly, Rose left the room. Since she had volunteered to wash up last, perhaps she went out to get some water.

…Stay strong, huh?

Where and how should she find strength?

Hayun sat down against the wall, lost in thought.

Various thoughts crossed her mind.

Perhaps her feelings for Jieun were different from Jihye’s. Family and… friends weren’t the same, were they?

But somehow, the way Jihye looked at Jieun felt strangely different from that.

Was it just Hayun’s imagination, caught up in her own emotions?

Looking at the two lying side by side, Hayun wondered.

*

I woke up, quite carefree, because I was “hungry.”

The fact that I could wake up with such a thought—when I’d been in a situation where resting comfortably or eating what I wanted was impossible—was probably because I’d fallen asleep in this room.

The sun that had been high in the sky until recently had almost set.

It felt like waking up from a Sunday afternoon nap. But I didn’t feel the typical regret of wasting a holiday.

Rather, I simply felt like I’d “slept well.”

Despite having neither blanket nor pillow.

I slowly turned my head and was startled.

Jihye was sleeping right beside me.

When I’d pulled her down to lie beside me, I don’t think we were this close, but it seemed she had fallen asleep too and moved much closer to me.

Much closer than we normally slept.

My hand was still held by Jihye. It was warm and soft, but also a bit damp. We must have sweated from each other’s body heat.

Now, what should I do?

I didn’t want to pull my hand away from Jihye. I felt like she might cry if I did. A strange thought. Jihye wasn’t a toddler, and neither of us would disappear if I let go.

Anyway, I’d be staying here for a while… yes, at least for a while.

Growl.

My stomach rumbled again.

This was strange too. Even in that dilapidated building where food was extremely scarce, my stomach rarely growled like this. Well, perhaps it was because I’d chosen to eat small portions frequently rather than one large meal to control hunger.

In that sense, it had been a while since I’d gone several hours without eating anything.

It would be rude to just get up and ask for food now.

Mealtimes should be respected. The orphanage always had set meal times. Even though I had more freedom to go out after becoming a high school student, there was no mercy if I came back late.

The teacher was soft-hearted and would eventually give me food if I looked hungry, but I knew that was an inconvenience.

Going to a convenience store didn’t seem right either. There were probably still plenty of police outside the orphanage.

Growl.

But I couldn’t just stay still like this indefinitely.

Even if I couldn’t have a proper meal, I wanted to eat something to fill my stomach. My piggy bank was in this room. Jihye wouldn’t have touched it, so I could ask the police to let me visit a nearby convenience store.

With that thought, I tried to get up, but I couldn’t.

“…Hayun.”

Unlike Jihye, who was sleeping a bit apart from me while holding my left hand, Hayun was maintaining her sleeping habits from the abandoned building even here.

She had somehow slipped one arm under my back and wrapped her other arm across my stomach, holding me tightly with her whole body.

My side was a bit sweaty.

Moreover, Hayun was naturally using my right arm as a pillow, making the position of her face a bit embarrassing.

She was doing this so boldly that it was hard to say anything about it now.

But my right hand wasn’t free either.

Someone was holding it too. My right hand, extending beyond Hayun, was as damp as my left hand, which had probably been held for hours.

Straining to lift my head, I saw it was Ju-a holding my hand.

Ju-a was also sleeping without a pillow or blanket.

…It seemed I wasn’t the only one who found this place comfortable.

Well, compared to that abandoned building, even this orphanage was practically a hotel.

“…”

What should I do?

If I move, they’ll wake up one by one.

I don’t want to force them awake. All the children must be as exhausted as I am. The other three weren’t visible, but they were probably sleeping somewhere else—

Just as I was thinking this, the door burst open.

And the people who entered—

“What are you doing, sleeping this late?” Rose said, flipping the switch on the wall.

Click.

The light came on, pouring directly into my eyes as I was looking at the ceiling.

“Mmm,” Hayun whimpered. It was a very cute sound, quite unlike her usual self, and normally I might have teased her a bit, but—

“Huh? Unnie, why are you all like this?”

…Apparently Rose was extremely popular with the children, as orphanage kids were clinging to her waist too.

“Well, I guess they’re just really, really close friends,” Rose said, lifting one of the children and seating them on her arm. Like a true magical girl, she was incredibly strong.

“It’s dinner time, friends. The three of us helped out a lot, you know? So why don’t you come and eat? You must be hungry.”

…I wanted to get up, but that wasn’t possible.

I laid my head back down on the floor and let out a long sigh.