Ch.10635. A Mirror That Reflects Me.

Just as there are regions with distinct four seasons, there are also places where they are less pronounced.

There are lands where the sun never sets and snow never melts.

Places where dense fog rises like mist, intertwining with the rising sun.

Just as there are coastal areas with salty sea mist,

There are also plains and fields where one is exposed to scorching sunlight from dawn, naturally causing sweat to form.

But this place was a zone where such natural phenomena occurred in an intersecting manner.

The sun-drenched spaces were formed by mountains and ranges facing each other, making even the wind feel stagnant and languid at times.

While lush greenery might be abundant in one area, turning slightly would reveal snow-white mountain ranges captivating one’s gaze.

The mountain opposite was covered in verdant foliage, yet seasonally turned red or purple, creating quite an exotic sight.

The forest, seemingly enclosed by these features, was relatively flat with little elevation difference, yet from any slightly open viewpoint, one could look down upon a massive lake.

Though sparsely populated, there were mountain cabins and hunters’ lodges.

The surprising abundance of burrows and caves suitable for wild beasts was likely because they were essentially extensions of the mountains themselves.

Even within this environment, there existed rules and order of sorts.

But to those from civilized society, these would still appear to be the laws of the wild.

“Well, I’ll be going now.”

The wolf-headed beastman, Gehben, said as he climbed onto a cart pulled by a donkey with his pack.

In response, a neat-looking blonde woman with blue eyes, Aseth, merely waved her hand in a formal gesture.

Her attire seemed a bit too proper for forest living, but she didn’t seem to mind.

A dress made of durable blue fabric.

Over it, she wore a reddish-brown vest, and notably, boots with iron heels.

Though her outfit revealed little skin, it was neat while accentuating her figure, giving the impression not just of a beautiful maiden but of someone nobly raised—almost like a lady of high birth.

Indeed, her appearance exuded not just elegance but a sense of nobility.

Perhaps it was due to having abundant water resources from the lake?

As someone who bathed and kept herself clean daily, she naturally radiated beauty.

The small donkey-drawn cart departed unhurriedly.

Living decently in such a place required basic supplies.

She had ample funds saved, so there wasn’t much of an issue.

“No attachment whatsoever. Typical.”

Still, she hadn’t expected absolutely no support or interest.

Or perhaps it was because she was affiliated with the Relief Knights?

Whistling, she began chopping firewood beside the cabin.

There was a mountain of other tasks to do as well.

Living in such a place, regardless of duration, meant being swept up in unintended hard labor.

At least the lake was nearby, so fetching water didn’t take long.

“There are just too many bugs.”

Ants were tolerable, but some pests were particularly annoying.

Palm-sized spiders jumping out or elongated creatures with dozens of legs—just the sight of them was irritating.

And there was much more variety.

Deer would appear, bears would occasionally prowl around, and wolf packs would stare intently from a distance before disappearing.

It was a shame there weren’t any magical beasts, but the tension these creatures provided was quite thrilling.

She wished they’d show a bit more interest and approach her.

What’s so scary about a pretty maiden like me?

Or they could at least try to ambush me.

There were also many types of birds.

Forest pigeons, crows.

And many other varieties.

…Had she ever observed nature and the environment so peacefully before?

This was distinctly different from hunting or tracking something.

Observations during tracking lacked this kind of leisure.

Still, understanding these creatures’ behaviors was all helpful.

They lived optimized lives from birth.

They had wings, and as they grew, practice seamlessly connected to real application as they effortlessly learned to fly and roam the skies.

And if they couldn’t fly?

They’d fall and die.

“Hmm?”

How long had she been lost in such meditative thoughts?

“…So you were here.”

With pale complexion matching her sky-blue hair.

Even her eyes were bleached white—this exotic girl, this woman, had a face that was somehow unfamiliar and strange.

Looking down at Aseth, who was sitting on a roughly made wooden chair.

She, Mines, asked:

“Where is he?”

“Who? Who from where?”

“……”

Was she playing word games?

When she had attacked, she had seemed like a complete madwoman.

Now, she seemed full of mischief.

Her demeanor suggested she was well-raised.

She also appeared to exude a positive and energetic aura.

…But she too was surely not a normal human.

After all, she had withstood the powers of the Demon King multiple times with just her bare body.

Normally, one would be incapacitated with a single blow.

She didn’t seem to possess any special magical abilities either.

Yet, she had made it possible.

…Was it because the Relief Knights were special?

If so, why was Venus, also a member of the Relief Knights, so easily subdued?

Superior skill alone doesn’t easily explain it.

“Kariel. I’m talking about him.”

“He’s not here.”

“…Not here?”

Mines had gone, albeit a bit late, to the place she was supposed to go.

The place Ruslan had informed her about.

But he wasn’t there.

Only after inquiring and finding the coachman who had transported Kariel did she manage to find a trace.

It took a full 40 days to get here.

Normally, she should have met him in less than half that time.

Who would have thought a slight delay in departure would complicate matters so much…

“Then where is he?”

And, this is just a guess, but the person responsible for diverting him from the original location was likely the woman before her.

Though she introduced herself as Aseth, she was more commonly known by other names.

Asserath en Draig.

Ashette Endragon.

Come to think of it, “Aseth” might be closer to the Imperial pronunciation.

Above all, she was more commonly referred to as Draig or Endragon rather than by her name.

Dragon.

Dragon.

Despite being human, she was openly called that.

What could be the reason?

After various inquiries, she had heard many rumors about her.

The Demon of the Lake.

A being cursed for rejecting the choice of the Lake Fairy.

A tragic princess, a royal daughter, exiled from her homeland because of it.

Though the nature of the curse was unknown, it was certainly not ordinary.

Being cursed inherently evokes hatred, fear, anxiety, and contempt.

In the Empire, it would be similar to excommunication.

Excommunication in the Irenis faith meant being ostracized and expelled from a community bound by that faith and empathy.

It meant a soul that couldn’t ascend to heaven even after death, destined for hell, beyond redemption or salvation.

The strongest punishment of the Irenis faith was the exclusion from the promise of afterlife salvation.

Death has no exceptions.

But no one truly knows the afterlife.

So one can only listen to what the faithful say.

For some reason, they speak as if they have evidence and know the truth.

“……”

The reason Mines had entered the courtyard of the Irenis Church in Somern Village was because they didn’t hesitate to embrace her despite everything.

God loves you.

That’s why He sent His child to prove His love through forgiveness and tolerance.

…Honestly, she didn’t understand what that meant.

She hadn’t prayed formally for herself.

She was told that prayers for others, not oneself, were of value.

After hearing this from the nun who was in charge of the chapel at the time, she hoped things would improve a bit.

And since she was taking refuge in His courtyard, she did it partly to repay the debt.

“Somewhere in a cave in the forest over there.”

“…Does he come back?”

“If you want to see his face, you’ll have to go find him yourself.”

More importantly.

Why did he come here?

She wasn’t sure what he was seeking here, but…

Now she might find out.

“Aren’t you curious why I’m here?”

“I was born without much interest in others.”

“…Pardon?”

“Between me and others, I see a vast, unbridgeable chasm.”

When you stab someone with a sword.

Most feel the pain, sense death approaching, and despite the agony, they still cling to despair.

To embrace all these feelings when just one is painful—isn’t that inefficient?

Yet I don’t feel an ounce of such emotions.

Conversely, even if I’m in excruciating pain.

Someone might be busy laughing and chattering at the sight.

“Why should one be sensitive to others’ pain? Why do people insist on talking about humanity and such, desperately trying to establish themselves as allies, non-hostile, equal beings?”

“I don’t understand why you’re saying such things.”

“Because I think that’s why you’re here.”

I get that you owe him a debt of gratitude, but…

“Is that reason enough to come looking? Or do you want to fight him? Are you so humiliated by your defeat that you can’t sleep? Is that it?”

“That’s… not it at all.”

“Then it’s obvious. You’re repaying a debt.”

Rationally, objectively thinking.

The principles and processes of actions are fundamentally simple.

Just as grudges give birth to sparks.

Just as hostility breeds aggression.

Just as affection turns to love, and love expands into possessiveness and reproductive desire.

And reproductive desire can manifest in those seeking stability through personal attachment, or in those seeking a different kind of stability by spreading or receiving more.

Methods vary, but principles and purposes are similar.

Striving to accumulate wealth.

Building strength.

Obsessing over power.

Essentially, the core is the same.

“And sticking close to someone great, someone good, means you might get something out of it.”

“Is that why you’re here?”

“I’m different.”

Aseth raised an eyebrow and said:

“I, if I had to say, am like a tool or a warhorse.”

“A warhorse?”

“If I were to live on my own, I’d probably lie down in the meadow, put on airs, live by my temperament… something like that.”

But to live by one’s temperament, one needs strength.

And not just strength.

Wisdom and tact are essential to compensate for lacking strength.

Since there are areas impossible for an individual, the ability to lead or command many is also essential.

Is this what they call leadership?

If I don’t want to labor hard?

I can command others.

But if I find it hard and tiring, others will too.

So how do I make them accept that I’m comfortable while they toil?

“I can do anything as long as I’m treated well.”

That’s why she temporarily worked as a mercenary.

But as the current era was distant from warfare, the mercenary business was declining.

So mercenaries naturally transformed into looters, thieves, or bandits.

But conversely, this increased the need for mercenaries like them.

That’s why she excluded looting and gathered men with some sense of morality to lead a small mercenary group.

Now it’s half on the verge of dissolution… but who cares?

Anyway, if she returns to that field, those who consistently do this work among the survivors will naturally come under her shadow.

In that sense, she was a capable mercenary leader.

“But what if that treatment has nothing to do with wealth, power, fame, or authority? Then who could truly treat me well?”

“Are you saying Kariel can do that?”

“A long time ago.”

With eyes gazing somewhere distant.

Aseth spoke with a nostalgic expression.

“When most denied my existence. He alone acknowledged me.”

Even your innate tendencies and personality.

They all have reasons.

“Was I born as a demon? Or was I born to become a demon?”

I can’t understand others’ hearts.

No, do I need to?

Why be considerate? Why understand?

It’s troublesome. It’s petty. It’s irritating.

But why do people give me such contemptuous looks for this attitude?

Why do they fear me? Hate me? Find me difficult?

Perhaps that’s why.

Her life had only those two questions.

Was I born a demon?

Or was I made into a demon because I didn’t fit into the world?

But.

That was different.

“When you put it that way, it makes me curious.”

If you can’t understand?

Then don’t.

Honestly, understanding others is a very troublesome task, isn’t it?

…The person who understood others better than anyone was talking as if he were like her.

But at that moment.

She felt what it was like to empathize with someone.

For the first time in her life, she experienced it.

And it was a very, very attractive experience.

“Besides, he said if there’s truly no one who understands and accepts me, I should come to him.”

Let’s look for such a person together, he said.

And if we don’t find one, well, he’d try to become that person.

This too is a kind of fate, isn’t it?

In this vast world, there might be at least one genius who can do that, right?

“……”

When that child, that kid a few years younger than her, confidently said that.

Wouldn’t it be strange not to be intrigued?

How could one not be charmed?

“Is that…”

Mines was a bit perplexed by her explanation.

Wasn’t she the one who had tried to kill him, seemingly with genuine hatred, when he had tried to stop her and Leo?

And now she’s saying it all stemmed from affection?

“Do you care for him?”

“Me? Why would I?”

…She doesn’t seem to realize it herself.

But didn’t she just confess in her story?

In this world, no one has ever understood me.

But at least he tried. He understood.

…So now, that’s the only thing I have left?

‘Is that…’

Is it right to call this love? Affection?

Maybe not.

But in a way, it might mean the same thing.

Depending on how this feeling blossoms and what outcome it brings.

It could be the purest form of love.

But if it goes astray and twisted, leading to wrong results.

It would be another tragedy caused by distorted affection, by misplaced attention.

As Aseth had guessed, Mines was adept at understanding others.

It was her nature.

Not that she wanted it to be.

In fact, she had often resented this nature.

Why must I understand others’ pain and be swept up in it, suffering myself?

“……”

But.

In a way, there’s also something to be grateful for.

Even though it’s truly hard and painful.

When someone genuinely rejoices, laughs, and is happy.

I too, was truly happy.

Even if just for a moment.

Because of that tiny warmth, I was able to… somehow endure.

But.

“It’s about time we go.”

Aseth rose from her chair and led the way, as if saying “follow me.”

Mines followed her back, letting out a small sigh.

But.

She doesn’t know.

If one doesn’t know others’ joy or happiness.

She has always been.

Abandoned to solitude, understood by nothing.

Even.

By herself.

If others are mirrors reflecting oneself.

Perhaps she has never encountered a mirror that could reflect even herself throughout her life.

And there.

She found a mirror that could reflect her?

…It’s only natural to become desperate.

‘But.’

She doesn’t know.

How to love someone honestly, gently, rightly.

How to care and show affection.

She doesn’t know.

So she acts emotionally and impulsively.

Even the outburst of those emotions would be different from the norm.

“……”

Perhaps due to her past of listening to various people’s concerns, understanding and comforting them.

Mines finally realized that the woman walking ahead was ill, merely a pitiful patient.

But Aseth.

In the world she lives in, she would still be called a demon.

She has strength, an extraordinary mind, outstanding looks, and the temperament to use what she has more coldly and ruthlessly than anyone else.

That is.

In a sense, like a calamity.

Someone who can casually stab others in the back.

Someone who can slit the throat of the person in front of her with a smile, or cut off a hand extended for a handshake without a second thought.

She can do this without any personal feelings.

Considering only profit and rationality.

Does a knife cutting meat need emotions?

Does a knife stabbing a person need emotions?

‘Perhaps.’

Maybe that’s what I needed.

If so, I would truly have become an unparalleled calamity.

Living selfishly for oneself, without being used.

Using even one’s strength in that manner.

How much blood and tears would have been shed because of it?

…So it’s fortunate.

That I couldn’t be like that.

Though I’ve been in pain.

Transferring such pain and despair to the innocent is truly an absurd injustice.

The current me could never accept that.

“But I can’t guarantee you’ll be able to have a conversation even if you go there. Be prepared for that.”

“Yes, that’s fine. It’s not urgent.”

As Aseth pointed out, I might have come to repay a debt.

Asking questions out of curiosity might be an excuse, a justification.

But it doesn’t matter.

Even having such irregular and spontaneous feelings.

That too is freedom.