Ch.105????

What if.

What if, I say.

Separate from the predictions of someone who has already seen such a future.

What if things take a turn for the worst?

And.

Considering all these factors.

That he would absolutely not die.

Or, when someone believed that his life would never end in vain.

If that belief was betrayed.

What expressions would they make?

What thoughts would they have, and with what feelings would they face that situation?

The bubbles that bloomed seemed to illuminate the past, yet also appeared to illuminate a completely different world.

A boy who became a hero anew by grasping the holy sword.

A girl entangled in the causality of having to kill the hero.

But separate from that.

Yet also the very person who, in some sense, entangled the two.

The Saint.

If he, with eyes closed as if asleep, had become a body that would never wake again.

No, if he had.

Would someone just silently watch?

Would they merely stand by?

……

……….

The black-haired boy lying on the frost-covered ground as if asleep.

Now it seemed he would find it difficult to once again open those bright yet gloomy eyes, those eyes resembling gold.

His breath had long stopped, his heart had already ceased, and even his warmth was dissipating.

And.

That scene.

The golden girl was watching as if gazing at some distant world.

The fierce battle between the hero and the demon lord, in fact, gave her no excitement.

It was beyond her interest.

However.

The reality that the child in her eyes would never open his eyes again.

Unexpectedly.

Truly unexpectedly, it seemed to have dealt her a profound blow as well.

-I do not peek at the future.

Once, the Great Demon Lord had asked whether it would be good or bad to be able to glimpse the future.

To his followers, disciples, limbs, and subordinates.

He had posed such a question.

At that time, most expressed that it would be good to know the future, that they would like to.

…With only herself as the exception.

The future is already determined before I even attempt something?

Then what joy would there be in living?

With what motivation would one live?

Such a future will come even if I don’t wish for it?

Rather than being bound by knowing it?

Because I know, there might also be things I can correct and change.

However.

What is lost would be much more.

Whether it’s for oneself or for others.

Depending on the purpose, there would be pros and cons.

But my fulfillment, passion, happiness, or joy would become extremely scarce.

Grandeus somehow became able to glimpse it, they say.

And because of that, he lived each moment in despair.

Nevertheless, he couldn’t let go.

I don’t know what he saw.

But.

In the end, he threw himself into that future.

They say he passed on his vision to me, his comrade, but it was in an extremely ambiguous form.

For an ordinary human, there’s a limit to how much one can hone it.

The limit of time.

The limit of foundation and perseverance.

The limit of character and temperament.

And.

The limit of desperation and will was probably the biggest issue.

Even with sufficient time given, the level remains at the bottom.

Because of insufficient effort.

And that effort means enduring pain as if burning oneself, even tearing, crushing, and breaking one’s soul.

Enduring even extreme boredom.

Having to bear the absurdity that takes away one’s humanity, sensibility, and reason… all of it.

Despite that, belief and justice must not crumble.

It’s okay if justice is somewhat misaligned.

However, in the end, it must not lean towards evil.

In any case, it’s a swordsmanship that cannot be learned generally.

Just looking at the posture and movement itself, it’s a mediocre work.

However, as the mind, special skills, and characteristics harmonize, it is elevated to an unparalleled vision.

The fact that she made Kariel commit suicide in dreams and killed him in various ways under the guise of countless trials.

When you think about it, it was just guiding him on a shortcut.

What she wanted was only trust.

Faith.

And Kariel, whether because of the contract or because it was the only thing available to him.

Based on desperation, he showed his trust in her.

Will? Thought? Verbal commitment?

None of that is necessary at all.

What needs to be shown is only action.

And Kariel, through action, answered in lieu of words.

Therefore, the fact that he grew like that… is very natural.

The Demon Lord thought.

-Did you go before ripening?

What a lamentable life.

Nevertheless, our contract will be fulfilled as it is.

You will not be able to receive salvation even in death.

Most of those associated with you will now be entangled in causality and experience extreme unhappiness and despair.

Despite resisting so much because you found it objectionable.

In the end, you couldn’t complete it to the end.

Where did it go wrong?

Not obtaining Elbat?

There must have been Grandeus’s own strategy for that.

Did you not reach that far?

No matter how much I think about it, it was one step.

That’s what was lacking, she thought.

-……

Is it inevitable?

She, who brought her face close to his increasingly cold face.

As if looking at her reflection on the water’s surface, she gazed intently at Kariel, and gazed again.

-I’ll grant you just one thing.

Since you’re not here now, you probably won’t be able to see it.

-Consider it my own form of blessing to pass this fact on to those left behind.

Extending her hand to caress his cheek, she.

As if, melted into Kariel’s body.

And some time later.

“……”

The boy who rose, his entire body, for some reason, began to turn golden.

No, that wasn’t all.

“Huh?”

Luirin was the first to notice something strange.

The ground, for some reason, began to turn golden.

Moreover, that color, as if it were contagious, spread from her feet throughout her entire body.

In just a few seconds, Luirin’s entire body began to emit a golden radiance.

It wasn’t just her.

All the surrounding areas, like ink spreading, gradually began to change to gold.

“W-what is this?”

While Luciri was bewildered.

Leo, for some reason, couldn’t hide his confusion.

Simultaneously.

The battle was forcibly concluded.

Bodies couldn’t move.

And that was.

“Why…?!”

Even Mines, who had inherited the legacy of the Great Demon Lord, was no exception.

Before they knew it.

Golden pillars began to fill the surroundings.

It feels as if this world is being dyed in gold.

However, the sky was stained white due to the frost storm created by Mines.

But later, even that began to change to bright gold.

Then.

The boy dyed in gold, Kariel, spoke.

“Sing a requiem.”

A scream would be fine.

A wail would be better.

Sobbing would be quite good too.

You may be pleased, or you may rejoice.

“Experience how useless a lifetime of worries and anguish can be.”

To those who haven’t even lived a lifetime yet.

The Demon Lord of Wisdom.

The Golden Demon Lord.

Along with eternal rest, bestowed upon them.

Tens, hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands of.

Pseudo-lifetimes.

“What is reality? If a dream feels real, is it reality or falsehood? Which me is the true me? If you guess correctly, you will be liberated.”

Who was I when I was an ant?

Who was I when I was a butterfly?

When I was a wolf.

When I was a fox.

When I was a snake, a toad, a fish, a bird, an insect…

“……”

Before long, the ground rose, and a golden throne was erected.

Sitting comfortably there with his chin resting on his hand, the golden boy.

Without even a wink of sleep, he waited a full day like that.

The sun rose and set.

And just as it was about to rise again.

He finally arrived.

“……”

Whether he was determined to hide his identity, his attire was a monochrome coat with an ashen base.

Truly an arrogant and disrespectful attire for an audience with a king.

But she did not reproach him.

She merely offered words of reunion.

“You. I almost fell asleep waiting. You’re so late, your sin is grave.”

“……”

White hair, golden eyes.

When first seen, he had looked so naive.

But now he was simply mature.

Somehow, he seemed incomparable to before.

Truly.

If the heavens were to boast of aesthetic elements with goodwill, it might look like that, such a perfect appearance.

Even Kariel’s handsome appearance was possible because it was influenced by that.

In a way, that is the perfect human.

“Is the person I know really you?”

“If any guess assumes the worst. Then it is.”

I am here.

“And you have once again arrived before me.”

The gold, borrowing Kariel’s body, looked somewhat bored.

And Lueld, who faced him, and Patina, who followed him.

They looked very confused, not knowing how to accept this situation.

Of course, Lueld, at the point of accepting that he was the Golden Beast, immediately became firm in mind and body.

The more perfect a hero, the more distant they become from being human.

Moreover.

The former Demon Lord who has taken possession of his son’s body.

There could be no nightmare like this.

“Did you make my son like this? Did you lead that child with sweet words, use him, and guide him to become like this? And then take over Kariel’s body?”

“First, let me clarify one thing. I have no ambition. I don’t prefer doing tasteless things like resurrection or seizing someone else’s body in the first place. So all of this is not my intention.”

“…Are you saying that now? Someone of your caliber?”

He felt like drawing his sword right away and doing something about it.

But still, that body was like the alter ego of himself and Ermina.

It was the body of that child.

And with that child’s body.

With that mouth.

It spoke.

“I am here to tell you why this fellow ended up in this state. Nothing else. Do you want to kill me? Then try. Then you won’t hear anything. Even if you do something to your son’s neck or heart or wherever, it won’t have any effect on me.”

Don’t you know?

“I’m already dead. What would I have to lose?”

“…Do you think I would be swayed by your sweet words?”

“I will only speak the truth. If you want, we can make a contract.”

She grinned.

But to Lueld and Patina, it would look like Kariel’s smile.

How could it feel so chilling?

Above all, the golden earth and sky were instilling fear in the two like never before.

“What have you done to the people here?”

“Since this child is dead, a price must be paid. If there’s a sin, that’s it?”

…It’s not particularly because there’s a cause of death or such a reason.

If that were the case, I should have dealt with that insolent corps commander.

Gloomy and dull, truly a dull fellow.

If Bargo hadn’t willingly left this place.

At the point when she took possession of Kariel’s body, he too would have experienced a hell that was not hell without exception.

The domain had already spread throughout the entire village.

And so, as if they had become golden statues.

The entire village was transformed like that.

What’s more terrifying is.

All of this is genuine gold.

Is this mercy, a blessing?

Or is it an unparalleled curse?

“Now, let’s begin the story.”

It’s nothing much.

“A story about the great regret that you must bury in your heart for the rest of your life.”

Previously, Kariel had briefly shared why he couldn’t commit suicide, why he couldn’t attempt it in front of his parents.

Ermina’s ability was so overwhelming that all moderate fatal wounds were useless.

And if he quietly ended his life in a place where she couldn’t reach.

They wouldn’t have been able to see them regret or despair.

…But what if.

It’s unlikely, but.

If they showed disappointment and contempt for his attempt?

That, in its own way, would have been terrible.

It was an impertinent and impure story of “what if” that could only be known through imagination.

‘Don’t worry.’

Fortunately, I have plenty of time.

So, I’ll briefly be an observer.

How that hero will accept this story, how he will respond.

It’s obvious that he would bury the story from his wife.

Nevertheless, someday, it would reach Ermina’s ears.

Even if Lueld keeps his mouth shut.

That woman beside him, unlike Lueld, doesn’t have an unwavering character.

You may be invincible.

But that’s a story limited to you, Lueld.

“Yes. First… it would be good to talk about how I came to meet Kariel.”

So.

“The ancestors of your country, those sinful ones with only spirits remaining, took pity on that child’s situation and guided him to me.”

In other words.

“At that time, there was no one around to save him except me. They made that judgment after their own careful consideration. After all, for them, who were close to being earth-bound spirits, the ways to help Kariel were extremely limited.”

Why did Kariel accept the Golden Beast, his father’s archenemy and the continent’s public enemy?

And why…

“Why he had to resent you so much. Why he ran away from home, and why that child wanted to uphold Grandeus’s will. The reason he had to… is nothing special.”

The gold eventually.

Kariel’s true feelings, which he would never reveal even if he were to die and be reborn.

She revealed them as if acting.

“Why didn’t you love me? Why didn’t you give me attention? I… didn’t ask for much.”

Just.

I wanted to be acknowledged by you.

I didn’t want to be scolded.

I wanted to be praised.

Like any other child, like an ordinary parent-child relationship.

Loving and being loved.

…I just wanted to live like that.

“When I was really struggling, you scolded me. Even though I begged you to believe me. In the end, you didn’t believe me. How do you think I felt then?”

Abandoned by the world.

The world collapsed.

When even the parents who gave birth to me denied my life.

When even they didn’t believe me.

…What else, do I have left?

“I told myself to hold on until mother gave birth to my sibling. What if mother was shocked by what I had done? Even though she’s a strong person, you never know, right? So I endured. It was really hard, painful, and agonizing… but I really tried hard to endure.”

By then.

Just breathing and facing people was hard, painful, and tiring.

No matter what anyone said, it was suspicious, ominous, and anxious.

Everything just felt that way.

Then I suddenly realized.

It’s because I’m a broken vessel.

Because I’m broken into pieces, and even some of those pieces have been crushed into powder.

I’ve become a being that can no longer hold water or anything else.

Thinking that.

…I felt sad and it was hard.

Even thinking about such things was burdensome.

Really, I didn’t want to recall anything.

I didn’t want to think.

All I wanted was.

…To breathe a little, more comfortably.

“When will I ever be a son who isn’t shameful to you? In the end, to be acknowledged by you, to prove that this life isn’t futile and meaningless. Now, truly, is there any answer other than defeating you?”

It’s not just you.

I wanted to tell the entire world that has criticized me while looking at you.

I wasn’t wrong.

It’s nothing special, really, I just wanted to say those words clearly.

Why do you try to define me as you please?

I am me.

Are you trying to take even that away from me? Did it satisfy you to take and deprive me of even that?

What am I anyway?

Because of a past I can’t even remember, my incompetent and powerless self was expected.

And then betrayed arbitrarily.

I was really.

Nothing at all.

I can’t handle mana.

I’m not healthy.

Whenever there’s a gap, I feel feverish and lethargic, what should I do?

I trained until I coughed up blood, and I really, really studied hard, staying up many nights.

But it didn’t work.

Effort alone wasn’t enough.

So I asked for a solution.

You just asked why it wasn’t working, saying it would work if I kept at it.

…Even that, for me, was something I asked after tremendous worry and deliberation over several days and nights.

Even that was just a whim to you?

The fact that I had to ask such a thing after so much worry and deliberation shows how broken our relationship was.

…You were the only ones who didn’t know.

“I might have been your regret.”

I’m sorry for being born.

And now.

“……As you can see, this child is dead.”

Suddenly changing her tone, Kariel, now the Golden Beast again, spoke with a seductive yet oppressive attitude.

“I’ll give you a choice. If you want to hear up to this point, strike my neck now. Then I too, will stop here without regrets.”

“……Do you still have more to say?”

“Of course.”

The gold smiled.

“This was just his inner feelings before leaving the island. You still don’t know what happened after that, do you?”

“……”

What he had just heard was enough to make his mind dizzy.

Yet he was curious, but on the other hand, he didn’t want to hear.

No, while he desperately wanted to hear, on the other hand, he was afraid.

There had never been anything frightening in the world before.

But now, even the gold seemed like nothing.

Just.

Kariel’s inner feelings and state of mind.

And the circumstances and situations that child must have gone through.

Knowing that truth.

For Lueld, that was truly what he feared.

“……”

While seeming to watch Lueld, the gold gazes at something else.

The child named Patina was already half-collapsed mentally.

That child must have truly cherished Kariel in her own way.

But it was wrong, twisted, and misaligned.

‘Is it really just their fault?’

Again, I feel a sense of dissonance.

Was there something that made it inevitable?

Or was there something that intentionally encouraged it to be that way?

“……”

Well, it doesn’t matter now.

I am not an avenger.

Moreover, I’m not an uninvited guest who takes on someone’s will, belief, or grudge.

In the first place, for me who is dead to take on something? That’s absurd.

So even this current act is meddling.

Is it because I’m infected by Kariel? Normally, I shouldn’t even be doing this.

Is it because I don’t have a physical body? I’m really being swayed terribly.

“Yes. Then I’ll take it that you want to hear more. Now… yes. Let’s talk about when that child left the island… and went to Kariel, was it? The story of when he went there.”

About inheriting the legacy of Saint Kariel.

And about the connections he made there and how they parted.

“That story will be quite intriguing as well.”

The Demon Lord once again assumes the role of a storyteller.

For a time both short and long.

The story continues.

A truly absurd play where the narrator laughs, and the listeners only grow in frustration and despair.

Within it, the Demon Lord whispered a requiem inwardly.

You won’t be able to rest peacefully.

Because we made such a contract.

Nevertheless, I hope you are a little less tired.

Fatigue is the most miserable thing in the world.

Even pain is doubly burdensome in a state of fatigue, and suffering increases.

And eventually, having lost even oneself.

Only pain, regret, resentment, and despair.

Later, even resignation will be completely consumed, leaving only struggle.

Nevertheless.

…Those who punish us, without an ounce of mercy, will continue to torment us.

Saying to atone.

This is judgment, they say.

Punishment, they say.

Because you did wrong.

So you, are suffering like this.

There is no mercy in this world.

Only cold, only according to principles.

Only despair and cowardice coexist.

If you truly feel wronged.

…Blame only that which is not ■.

Only that.

The original sin.

That you were unilaterally burdened with.