Ch.103Promise Keeper (1)

Time had passed since they returned to the Praester territory.

“No! Lady Kirsy! Please calm down!”

“Let me go!! Aaaaaaah!!! Brother!!!”

Kirsy’s screams echoed through the castle once again. Asena’s emotions remained completely still. Nothing could break through her dazed thoughts.

Just the dry observation that Kirsy had woken up. Nothing more.

“Please…! Please someone…! Bring my brother back…! There’s no way he could be dead!!!!”

The sound of something breaking. Someone falling. Kirsy’s screams and the shouts of people trying to calm her.

“Just a few months ago we were laughing and hugging…! He was smiling by my side..!! Why can’t we do that anymore, why?!”

Soon, the sounds faded away. Once again, Kirsy had likely lost consciousness.

Asena covered her ears. She tried to put all thoughts aside. If she started thinking about Caden, she would surely end up like Kirsy.

But Kirsy’s screams kept triggering memories. Even when she didn’t want to think, every time she heard Kirsy’s voice, happy memories with Caden surfaced. Memories that could no longer continue.

She remembered how he would gently caress her cheek. The warmth of his embrace. His kind words and bright smile. His silly jokes and playful behavior.

Her breath trembled as she inhaled. Though she tried to hold back, waves crashed through her calm emotions and tears threatened to emerge.

“..Hic..”

She forcibly held back her tears. She didn’t even deserve the right to cry. She had killed Caden with her own hands.

Because she had driven him away and told others not to help him, he had met his death. If she hadn’t done either of those things, he wouldn’t have died.

Asena suddenly shook her head. She had just thought that Caden was dead.

That couldn’t be. Even if all circumstances pointed to it, she refused to accept that fact.

She struggled to suppress her emotions. It was too painful otherwise.

Right now, Asena was waiting for only one thing.

She was waiting for Lord Lawrence to capture the perpetrator.

Once the perpetrator was caught…

Her emotions surged again. Asena suppressed her violent thoughts. Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she made one promise.

To inflict every torture in the world. To make them taste every painful torture known to mankind.

-Knock knock.

The sound of someone knocking on the door.

“…What.”

Asena didn’t even invite them in. She no longer had the strength to face people. Even wearing a mask was difficult.

‘…I’ve brought your meal, Lady Asena.’

It was Max, the butler who assisted Helen.

Asena replied.

“….I don’t need it.”

Max wouldn’t let Asena close her eyes again.

‘….You haven’t eaten anything for three days already. This isn’t good for you.’

“…Max. I won’t say it twice.”

‘…….’

The sound faded away. Asena could be alone again.

Perhaps from fatigue, Asena’s eyes slowly closed. Her dizzy head gradually cleared.

Before she knew it, with her eyes closed, she was seeing many things.

Dreams she couldn’t remember passed by in succession. None of them touched Asena’s heart.

She suddenly found herself standing in darkness.

Nothing could be seen or heard. She suddenly realized how comfortable this nothingness felt.

“Asena.”

At that moment, a voice was heard. Asena turned around.

……..Caden was standing there.

“Asena. I’m back.”

“Brother!!”

-Whoosh

Her upper body rose from the bed. Caden’s figure disappeared like a mirage. Her heart, startled by meeting Caden, was pounding wildly.

Asena’s body was soaked with sweat. Much time must have passed, as no light was coming through the window.

She looked around. Her gaze wandered, searching for the vanished Caden. Naturally, he was nowhere to be seen.

Where had the dream begun? Asena wished everything had been a dream. She wished that if she got up from this place and went to Caden’s room, he would greet her with a smile.

As her mind became clearer and she woke up more fully, she knew it was impossible, but her body left the bed anyway.

Her legs trembled as they touched the ground, weakened in ways she didn’t recognize.

Nevertheless, she twisted open her bedroom door.

Several servants were waiting behind the door.

They all widened their eyes like rabbits upon seeing Asena’s face.

“A…Lady Asena.”

But Asena paid no attention. She moved her feet, which barely worked properly, and ran to Caden’s room.

Please let him be there. Even if it was magic. Even if it made no sense. She only wished for him to be there.

Asena twisted open the door to Caden’s room.

…..Someone was inside.

Just as Asena’s heart began to race again, the person turned around. She could see their face.

…It was Kirsy.

The now vicious-looking Kirsy observed Asena. The now gaunt Kirsy opened her mouth.

“……It’s because of you.”

“…….”

Harsh words she had never before uttered came from her mouth.

“…You expelled brother from the family…that’s why this happened.”

Her tone suggested she no longer considered Asena a family member. Having lost Caden as her support, Kirsy was extremely unstable.

“….You drove brother to his death. You killed brother…! Because of your anger..!! Brother was attacked and killed by mere thieves!!”

“………”

But this time, Asena couldn’t refute her. The strength gradually left her hand holding the doorknob, and it dropped limply.

She couldn’t stand proud and shameless like the head of the family. Asena loathed herself too.

“Bring brother back…! Bring him back, I said!!!”

Cold tears flowed down Asena’s cheeks.

Servants who had followed her entered the room and tried to restrain Kirsy.

“La..Lady Kirsy! Please calm down…! It’s not the Duchess’s fault..!”

“It’s that woman’s fault!! Because of her, brother…! Hic…! Brother ended up….”

Kirsy fell to her knees.

She too knew she was at fault.

She just couldn’t bear it without blaming others.

If she hadn’t been drunk that time and pushed herself on him physically.

If she hadn’t thrown herself at him “like a prostitute,” as he had put it.

Then Caden wouldn’t have left her that way.

Caden, who had always looked at her as if she were a pure and adorable creature, wouldn’t have acted so hastily.

He was simply disappointed. Disappointed in her trying to connect with him in such an ugly way.

After trying his whole life to raise her properly, she had betrayed his kindness with her body.

Kirsy’s breathing became rapid.

“Haa…haak…! Haak…!”

No matter how deeply she inhaled, it didn’t feel like she was breathing. Her breathing was as labored and painful as if she had been running for a long time.

The servants watching her called for a doctor in alarm.

Kirsy pushed away the servants trying to care for her, but they persistently tried to hold her.

Soon Kirsy began to feel dizzy. She started experiencing severe vertigo. Before she knew it, she was being carried away from Caden’s room on a servant’s back.

Left alone, Asena approached Caden’s bed as if nothing had happened. She too was already broken beyond repair.

Even after the brief commotion, all she could think about was Caden.

It was devastating that seeing Caden earlier had just been a dream. She regretted not seeing him longer. It was painful that she could only see him in dreams now.

She moved toward the window.

Unconsciously, she looked down.

If she jumped from here, would she be able to see him?

The thought flashed through her mind for an instant.

Her body immediately acted. She put one leg outside the window.

Though she had thought Caden couldn’t be dead, her inner heart seemed to believe he was truly gone.

Then Asena saw her hands.

Her sinful hands stained with Caden’s blood.

She began to doubt her plan that jumping from here would let her see Caden.

Would she really be able to see him? It wasn’t certain.

Caden would surely go to heaven. He had treated her, who wasn’t even family, with more love than family, and had brought her all happiness. Heaven would surely want someone with such a shining personality.

…..As for herself. She was the one who, out of greed and anger, had driven her benefactor to death while coveting him. No matter how she thought about it….she would surely fall to hell. She had too many sins to atone for. She knew better than anyone that there was no place in heaven for a crazy woman who had killed her benefactor.

Uncontrollable tears began to flow again.

She wasn’t afraid of going to hell. She was afraid of not meeting him.

The fact that she would never be able to see him again, alive or dead, felt like her heart was being torn apart.

It truly was a final farewell.

Hell was right here.

As she thought about it, she began to understand. Heaven’s punishment had already begun.

She was now paying for all the sins she had committed against Caden.

…..But why did Caden have to suffer her punishment too? He should have lived happily…happily…..

Suddenly, Asena realized that she could have these thoughts only because he was gone. If he had been alive, she would still be venting her anger about him, proclaiming everywhere that Caden was not a Praester.

Asena trembled and cried. She sat on the windowsill, leaning her back against it. One leg dangled outside the castle while the other still couldn’t leave Caden’s room.

Though she wanted to throw herself down and end this pain.

If this was punishment imposed on her, she had to endure it as atonement for Caden.

“Lady Asena.”

Helen appeared at the open door and called to her.

And the moment she raised her head and saw Asena,

“La..Lady Asena!”

Helen rushed to Asena in alarm. She grabbed her arm and pulled her inside the room.

Asena was pulled in weakly and collapsed on the floor of the room.

“Lady Asena!! You…you mustn’t do this…!”

Helen, alarmed, began to scold Asena with proper words.

Asena listened to her scolding and quietly said.

“…….Helen. I want to die.”

She had closed the door and not shown her emotions outside. Everyone probably knew how she felt, but it was the first time she had expressed such direct thoughts.

She conveyed to Helen the thought that had been weighing on her heart for a long time.

“……There’s no meaning in this world without brother.”

Helen hesitated before speaking.

“…Gr…Grandmother Riana is still here..! And Lady Kirsy…! And me, and all the people of Praester…!”

Asena, knowing it was too harsh, still expressed her honest feelings.

“……..It’s not enough.”

“……Pardon?”

“……If brother isn’t here…nothing is enough….”

Joy didn’t feel like joy, and emotion couldn’t feel like emotion, and nothing could replace his place.

She had broken when he disappeared. All her emotions could never be the same again.

“….I want to die, Helen. Once I somehow kill that thief who attacked brother…then I’ll die too.”

“La…Lady Asena….!”

Helen closed her eyes tightly, then slowly opened them and changed her tone.

“Th…that’s not something you should be thinking about now. Let’s not think negatively, shall we? Okay?”

“…….”

“A…and a guest has arrived. Should I…”

“…I don’t want to see anyone. Tell them to leave.”

“They came to help after hearing what happened to Lord Caden. Should I still tell them to leave…?”

Asena hesitated at those words.

Helen didn’t miss that moment of hesitation. She needed to make Asena think about something else.

She got up from her seat and hurriedly left the room, heading somewhere.

Before Asena could take any other action, she returned.

“Please come in.”

Helen guided the guest.

Footsteps making metallic sounds approached.

Asena, collapsed on the floor, greeted the guest in that state.

The footsteps approached without stopping and halted right in front of Asena. She could see the armored feet of the guest.

The guest was committing the rudeness of looking down at the Duchess of Praester. Even in this situation, Asena wanted to look up at the person standing before her.

Only Caden could stand before her while she was kneeling.

If she looked up and it was a man, Asena promised to immediately cut the throat of whoever the guest was. The posture itself was improper. If she raised her head, his lower body would surely be right in front of her face.

She raised her head.

……It wasn’t a man.

“…..Explain, Praester.”

She spoke to Asena, suppressing her trembling voice.

Her face gradually came into view.

Bluish-gray hair. Tall with firm muscles.

It was Judy Ice.

She must have ridden hard; her hair was messy and her face was covered in dirt.

“…..What happened…to Caden..?”