Ch.10235. Yuri’s Visit to Busan (4)

“First…? What do you mean…?”

Yuri tilted her head in confusion. But soon after realizing what I meant, her face flushed with embarrassment.

“I… I see. I didn’t know that…”

Just like I said earlier. I had no experience yet. And Yuri seemed quite satisfied with that fact.

“I see. So you’re also a first-timer, Minsu…”

Yuri’s eyes became even more enchanted. She gave me a light kiss and embraced me.

“It’s my first time too. Of course, I always thought you would be my first. So we’ll be each other’s first?”

Saying that, Yuri tightened her arms and body around me, as if deeply moved. Though she had been about to pounce on me just moments ago.

At those words, she seemed to be savoring her own sentiment, feeling my warmth as she held me.

‘At least things are going according to plan.’

I didn’t just blurt out something in panic. The important thing was buying time.

One might think that sleeping with her wouldn’t be such a special matter. Even among friends, casual relationships weren’t that uncommon.

But clearly, for Yuri as a snow woman, the meaning was different.

Having a relationship with a snow woman who loves and obsesses over one man for life means, literally, forming a marital bond with her.

‘I can’t. If that happens, I might gain Yuri, but in exchange…’

If I became the official lover of the guild leader, it would be like giving up on Soso and Arin.

‘The current Soso is stronger than Siwoo from the original story. And Arin has taken on the role of Chae Min-ah…’

My obsession with the Red Lake is mostly driven by resentment and vengeance. But another important meaning is my determination to correct the Aka Hunter story that I’ve distorted.

In a situation already twisted beyond recognition, where Flame members have replaced the original protagonists, if Soso and Arin were to leave Flame…

Unless I was the god of this novel, I had no confidence in how to restore that future.

So, what I said to Yuri was a calculated statement considering all of this. She was still holding me preciously, mulling over the meaning of my words.

“Not Yeon Soso, not Seong Arin. I… will be the first woman for you, Minsu.”

Both Yuri and I were down to our underwear. But Yuri was intoxicated by the current atmosphere. This was probably a precious moment she could experience only once in her life.

‘It’s not at all a romantic moment for me… sigh…’

I could feel Yuri’s soft skin all over my body. I had to admit it was a dangerous moment as a man.

But I was holding up better than expected. No, my body was reacting more honestly than I thought.

‘Ugh… can’t breathe…’

That symptom which had improved when I was treating Yuri professionally at Flame. The trauma and panic about Yuri began to resurface.

And the eternal barrier, which was the direct trigger for that trauma, had now been created in this hotel room.

Gradually, I felt suffocated. Dizzy.

Right now, the fear from that panic was greater than the sensual atmosphere of being pressed against the beautiful Yuri.

‘It’s… it’s okay. I actually anticipated this.’

The moment I saw the eternal barrier being created while being restrained by Yuri, I sensed the panic coming, like feeling sleep paralysis just before it happens.

But I planned to use even that panic to escape the current situation.

It would be the only way to bring Yuri, who seemed unlikely to listen to anything I said, back to her senses.

‘I need to let the panic get worse… I need to move the Hong-ok… the mana… to regain control of my body…’

Finally, Yuri raised herself up again. She seemed to have made up her mind.

“Alright. Then we’re really going to become one…”

She seemed about to remove all her underwear.

Meanwhile, I desperately moved my mana heart. The mana accelerating bit by bit from the Hong-ok. I could feel my body moving ever so slightly in response.

And to Yuri, who had thrown off her underwear and pressed her body against mine, I softly said:

“Since it’s our first time, shall we take it slow together?”

At those words, Yuri blushed shyly and replied:

“…Okay… then… how?”

Thankfully, Yuri listened to me. I told her:

***

Time passed again. Yuri lay beside me, breathing heavily.

“Haa… haa…”

Yuri had already made up her mind to become a snow woman. So in that situation, with our bodies touching, something was bound to happen.

So the two of us, on one bed, directly felt each other’s bodies.

Of course, it must have been Yuri’s first experience. It was the same for me too. I hadn’t had that level of skinship even with Arin.

“Foreplay” would be the most appropriate term. Yuri and I physically connected. But we barely managed not to cross the final line.

“Haa… I like it… I like you… I love you…”

And Yuri, still naked beside me, seemed to have calmed her breathing. Then she finally wanted to go beyond.

“So now we’re really going to do it?”

Yuri’s voice was filled with anticipation. At the same time, the eternal barrier was completed.

Unless she, the caster of the barrier, removed it, no one could leave or enter this ultimate barrier. Yuri seemed to intend to have me all to herself within this barrier.

But I knew well that things wouldn’t go as Yuri wished.

I didn’t answer Yuri’s question. No, at this point, I couldn’t answer.

“Haa… haa… hnngh…”

Instead, I was breathing heavily. Yuri looked at me with a puzzled expression.

“Hm? What’s wrong, Minsu? Are you shy…? At this point… after we’ve already done such things…”

She smiled sweetly. And she turned toward me, overlapping her upper body with mine. We had only stopped short of crossing the final line.

Having already felt each other’s bodies, I might have appeared to her as an innocent man afraid of his first experience.

“It’s okay. I’m embarrassed too, but it’s okay if you’re my first… Hm? Minsu?”

But soon, she seemed to notice. My reaction wasn’t just the shyness of an inexperienced man before his first time.

A panic attack had begun.

Rough breathing echoed throughout the barrier.

In truth, no thought or acting was necessary. Yuri and the eternal barrier were already the biggest triggers for all my trauma.

Having fulfilled all the necessary conditions…

I felt genuine terror, like a moment of death, with my rapid breathing from hyperventilation, my heart pounding as if it would burst, and my vision spinning as if I would vomit.

“Why, why are you like this? Are, are you okay, Minsu?”

There was no way I could be okay. If it could be endured comfortably, no one would suffer from panic attacks.

Of course, I was in too much pain, my chest too constricted, to answer Yuri. But even in this death-like attack, I kept my mind cold.

‘Good… just as planned…’

This must be the first time Yuri has seen my panic attack. No, thinking about it, it probably wasn’t the first. I don’t remember it clearly, but…

When I regained consciousness after losing it for a year, I heard I had a panic attack like this when I saw Yuri and Soso who came to visit.

“Could, could it be a panic attack…?”

And Yuri seemed to have guessed why I was like this.

Yuri also seemed quite shocked by my condition. The snow woman who had been dominated by her blood just moments ago was fading, and she seemed to be returning to her usual self.

At the same time, with an even colder mind, I found not only a way out of this eternal barrier but also a way to control Yuri.

‘I need to… bind her with guilt.’

Resisting the death-like pain and attack, I barely managed to speak.

“Med… medicine…”

At my words, Yuri’s eternal barrier weakened.

***

And some more time passed.

Yuri was very flustered when she saw my panic attack begin. She probably was much more surprised than I was.

Yuri, who had been restraining me as a complete snow woman until then, released the eternal barrier herself.

Then, finding my panic medication in my room, she hurriedly handed it to me. With the barrier gone and the medicine taking effect in my body, my panic subsided.

Of course, it wasn’t just the panic that subsided. Yuri, who had transformed into a snow woman, also returned to her usual self.

But she seemed to have been greatly shocked by seeing me seized by the attack. Now, both of us are under the same blanket, not even having put back on the underwear we had removed.

Since I needed to rest after taking the medicine, there was no time for the two people who were about to have their first experience to get dressed again.

So my panic attack stopped, but the shock Yuri received didn’t subside quickly.

Under the blanket, Yuri kept crying with her back turned to me.

“It’s all… because of me… Minsu… you…”

Her words weren’t connecting properly, mixed with sobs. But Yuri isn’t stupid. She’s very intelligent.

She seems to have realized that my panic attack was all because of her. I let her continue crying.

Seeing Yuri crying like that, I wasn’t comfortable either. I know Yuri’s personality very well.

Proud Yuri is the type who can’t tolerate herself shedding tears like ordinary women. After all, she grew up hunting from a very young age, even more ruggedly than men.

And as the Grand Duchess, she should never show her tears to others.

‘But even such a Yuri…’

Now, she’s crying like an ordinary woman, unable to stop. Of course, the reason is because of me.

Or more precisely, the fact that she herself has become my trauma. And the shock seems to be great because she herself stimulated that trauma once more, causing me to panic.

Even Yuri, who could tear apart a bear, even she, an S-rank hunter, had feelings for me just like ordinary women.

That’s right. Yuri still liked me. No, more than like—she had feelings of love for me.

That’s why, with her intense jealousy toward Soso, she even thought of confining me.

Perhaps, if I were still Eins, I would have been incredibly happy. And tonight at the hotel would have become an unforgettable memory for Yuri and me.

‘But not now.’

I felt mixed emotions. But the conclusion was the same. As I had planned, I barely escaped a dangerous situation through the panic attack.

The current me couldn’t be Yuri’s man alone.

‘Days like today must not be repeated.’

Then, I had to use even the guilt Yuri was feeling toward me now. I had to be able to use even her obsession if Yuri turned into a snow woman again.

Because I don’t have much time.

I embraced Yuri from behind as she had her back turned. She was still crying, her body trembling.

Yuri was surprised but didn’t leave my embrace. Rather, her crying grew louder as she tried to suppress it, tried to calm down.

My body temperature warmed her cold body. Finally, Yuri whispered to me as if wailing:

“It’s all… because of me, right? That you suffered… so painfully from panic?”

To those words, I embraced Yuri more tenderly and said:

“Yes.”