Ch.101Chapter 13. Superiority (8)

“Well, as I said earlier, this is about amplification. I can increase what’s already there by two or three times, but I can’t amplify something that doesn’t exist. Similarly, I can’t create emotions that aren’t there.

It can cause excitement by increasing heart rate and releasing adrenaline, but that’s it. And Johan’s current… pheromones? They’re not strong enough to change behavior. However.”

“However?”

“That’s how it is now, but we’ll have to wait and see what happens later.”

Suddenly, I recalled the zombies I’d encountered so far. It wasn’t always the case, but somehow I’d often thought, ‘If I do this, that guy will probably get angry,’ and it usually worked well.

It was partly thanks to the gameplay experience I’d accumulated before coming here. And if my virus added to that… and if it could have some effect even on ‘humans’ who hadn’t yet become ‘zombies’…

I think of that commander who tried to capture and kill me. Her large, firm-looking chest, and those purple eyes gleaming above it. That terrifying strength too.

If I were to ‘amplify’ Virginia’s emotions, she might fly in with a helicopter again and blow my head off.

But as Cassandra said, it’s not all bad. Just look at Leticia, who’s been quite friendly toward me.

“Cassandra. What if…”

“Yes, Johan?”

“If bodies move apart, would the influence of the pheromones decrease significantly?”

“That’s a different area. Like I said before, your pheromones aren’t that strong. But for someone with very low resistance, it might become something like an addiction.

For example… a substance emitted by catnip acts like a sexual hormone to cats. That’s why there’s little reaction when they’re too young, but after six months, they react quite intensely. But not all adult cats react to it. That’s the kind of difference we’re talking about.

Perhaps there are people who are extremely sensitive and responsive to the components you emit? To such beings, you might be an unforgettable presence, like a drug. In that case, you should be careful.”

“Why?”

“Because addiction can’t be controlled.”

* * * * *

After cleaning up, we each returned to our rooms.

The top floor of the laboratory is living space. Bed, desk, chair, storage cabinet. Even a gun rack.

The end of the day is equipment maintenance. It’s annoying and cumbersome, but ultimately these are what keep me alive in dangerous moments.

As I mindlessly clean my gun and tighten my equipment, drowsiness eventually washes over me. But tonight, sleep doesn’t come easily.

I was supposed to talk with Camilla, but somehow there wasn’t a good opportunity.

She’s probably sleeping now.

That seems likely. I drank a lot today in particular. Well, it’s not just today, and we can talk tomorrow anyway.

I headed to the bathroom to wash the grease off my hands.

“Pfft.”

I can’t help but laugh whenever I look at the corridor floor. Glow-in-the-dark stickers shine, showing the way forward. It’s a measure to prevent light from leaking outside the building.

It’s a bit childish, but at least no one gets lost or knocks on the wrong door.

“Oh, Johan. Not asleep yet?”

Camilla came out of the bathroom.

“Ah, just going to wash my hands. Got some oil on them from cleaning my gun. You?”

“Same here. Repairing weapons and washing up.”

A brief silence. Camilla lowers her head and tries to pass by me.

“Hey, Camilla. About what we were going to talk about earlier… you’re probably too tired today, right?”

Camilla says nothing. The silence stretches longer than before. I was about to suggest talking tomorrow when—

“Johan. Have you cut your nails?”

Suddenly?

“Why ask about nails all of a sudden?”

“If you haven’t, cut them. Let’s talk in my room in 20 minutes. Wash your hands well.”

This was unexpected too. When we had conversations, we usually did it in the lobby at the end of the 4th floor. With sofas, tables, a vending machine (though it doesn’t work), and a TV, it had quite a reception room atmosphere.

But her room? The building has good soundproofing, but does she not want Cassandra to see us?

I washed my hands thoroughly, cut my fingernails and even my toenails, then washed again. I went down to the 3rd floor, grabbed a bottle of wine, two glasses, and a bag of salted peanuts, then gently knocked on Camilla’s door.

“Oh, you’re here? Come in. Let’s do this together.”

Camilla was setting up a tent.

“Why the tent?”

“We need light. This tent has light-blocking film, so it should be fine to turn on the light.”

Of course, we’ve put barricades and curtains on the inside of all the windows in this building. The shielding is perfect. Camilla isn’t taking even the slightest chance.

“Did you shower in the meantime?”

She had a towel wrapped around her head and smelled faintly of body wash.

“Pull that side more. You didn’t bring Minsk wine, did you? We need to sell that to that woman.”

“It’s Elsa’s. Should I get the Minsk one?”

“Just drink this.”

Camilla’s room was a bit larger than mine, so there was enough space for a small tent. Click—she turned on the light. T-shirt and pink dolphin pants. Comfortable attire.

At first, we just clinked glasses. Maybe because we’d already had quite a bit to drink in the evening, I felt tipsy after just a little.

“Reminds me of the safe house. It doesn’t seem that long ago, but it feels like ancient history.”

“Yeah.”

The strange thing is Camilla. She’s becoming increasingly quiet, lowering her head more. Almost like she’s dozing off. I was starting to regret choosing today for this conversation.

“…Do you have to do that?”

Then she says something out of the blue.

“Huh? What do you mean?”

A deep sigh. Camilla throws aside her head towel. Her still-damp hair clings to her skin.

“All that pheromone stuff.”

“Why bring that up?”

“…You know, whenever you and Cassandra talk about that, I feel… distant. I wonder if I’m the strange one. How can you talk about it so calmly? Both you and that woman Cassandra. In the end, it’s about the virus in your body getting stronger, isn’t it?”

Before answering hastily, I refilled our glasses.

Camilla is right. No, this is the ‘normal’ reaction. Usually, people infected with the zombie virus either scream and shoot themselves in the head, or try to leave something behind to live as humanly as possible until they die.

It’s abnormal to be like Cassandra and me, saying, “Oh, it’s not a big deal? Then there must be useful ways to use it.” Though in Cassandra’s case, she thinks of nothing but ‘virus eradication.’

“Johan. You’re a person. Not a tool, not an object, and definitely not a weapon. And we’re talking about something happening in your own body, not someone else’s. How can you talk like that? How can you be so calm…”

“Are you worried about me?”

Camilla lowered her head and her shoulders trembled.

“Johan. I can’t sleep. Every night I dream of becoming a zombie. And I always bite you. I struggle, saying no, I don’t want to. But somehow my mouth is tearing into you.”

“It’s okay, Camilla. It’s just a dream.”

“That’s what I thought too. Until now. But you saw it earlier. That Rottweiler. The dog had memories of home.

What about that parrot we met, the one that perfectly mimicked human speech? And what about the wolf that ate and tore apart the human the parrot lured?

They’re not dull. They can think! You’ve seen how they can ambush like perfectly normal humans!”

I was going to say it was just instinctive behavior. But I couldn’t clearly distinguish where instinct ends and intelligence begins, even to myself.

“…I feel like I’m going crazy, but you, how can you treat it like someone else’s problem…”

“That’s because for me, this place is…”

That was it. For me, this is just another world. A world to enjoy temporarily. I somehow got trapped here, and haven’t found a way out yet, but my real world is somewhere else, not here.

I “know” this.

Not only do I know it, I’ve experienced it. Most of my life, my memories, are still “there.” This world is not my world. I’m just visiting here briefly.

But what if. If something like this happened in South Korea, in the everyday life I enjoyed. And if I fell into the same situation… I wouldn’t be able to stay as calm as I am now.

There’s an inevitable gap between Camilla and me. Not just with Camilla, but with everyone else, with the situation, the circumstances, the world.

Suddenly I recall words often used by people who claim to have “achieved enlightenment.” ‘Don’t get caught up in small matters. Think of yourself as just visiting this world briefly. All things simply pass, and everything becomes a joyful experience.’

Was that what it meant?

But Camilla seems to have understood my words a bit differently.

“…You find this amusing? Why? Because you’re going back to Minsk anyway?”

Camilla still thinks I’m a Minsk spy. How can I clear up this misunderstanding?

“I’m not going. And I keep telling you, I’m not a Minsk spy.”

“Liar.”

“I’ll say it again. I won’t leave you behind. And I have no intention of escaping before all this somehow gets better. At least not until Cassandra develops a cure or whatever…”

“What’s the point of all that if you turn into a zombie?”

Camilla clenches her fist. Veins bulge. She seems a bit excited.

“Camilla. That’s a bit extreme.”

“You listen to me carefully.”

Camilla points her finger at me. Has this happened before? Her eyes are very aggressive. She’s definitely had too much to drink.

“I don’t care what that woman makes. A cure? Great if she does. Maybe she will, maybe she sadly won’t. Anyway, she seems skilled and knowledgeable.

But if she turns you into a zombie or does something strange in the name of making that precious cure, I’ll kill her. I’m not joking. I won’t care even if you try to stop me. Understand?”

She’s definitely too excited. I guess earlier when we were rolling around together was quite…

“No way. If something like that happens, I’ll be the first to refuse. And for now, you can trust her a bit, can’t you?”

“Why, you didn’t with me?”

“…Huh?”

Camilla gulps down a glass of wine. Not even waiting for me to pour, she grabs the bottle, fills it almost to overflowing, and drinks half of it.

“…You. Didn’t. With me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Why do you always take Cassandra’s side?”