Chapter 1 – The Virgin Saintess Appears!!

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In front of others, I had to maintain the dignified appearance of a proper Saintess.

“Elysio… no, Saintess Elysia, you are truly blessed.”

“Do not forget the will of God and always approach your duties with humility.”

‘Ha… Seriously, telling me to be humble?
Humble? That’s f*cking hilarious.’

In my head, I was already cursing God ten times over, but I forced a smile and nodded, saying, “Yes…”

‘Damn it, me, a Saintess? What sin did I commit in my past life to end up like this?!’

After finishing all the blessings and congratulatory ceremonies, I could finally retreat to my room.

As soon as the door closed, I dropped to my knees and grabbed my head.

“F*CK!!!!!!”

I screamed without even checking if the room was soundproof.

“How does this make sense?!!! Why me? Why the hell me!!!!”

I pounded the bed with my fists and wailed.

“Wait, what? I have breasts now? A slim waist? That’s not the point right now! F*ck, I’ve never even used it!!! Not even once!!! I’m a virgin!!!”

My cries echoed through the room.

“What? God’s choice? God’s will? What the hell is God thinking?! Ah, what did I do so wrong!!!”

For a while, I lay sprawled on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling.

‘But… is this really irreversible? Do I have to live like this forever? F*ck, am I really going to die a virgin?’

Suddenly, rage surged through me.

“Hey! God or whatever, come down!!! Let’s talk!!! F*ck!!!”

I swung my fist in the air. But, of course, God didn’t answer.

‘Ha, whatever. If I have to live like this… there’s only one way.’

I slowly got up from the bed.

And stood in front of the mirror, looking at my new face and body.

“…I’ll just have to adapt.”

These new breasts…
This slim waist…
And this face…

‘Well, I guess I’m pretty… but, f*ck, still a virgin.’

In the end, I flopped back onto the bed.

.

.

.

Knock knock knock.

At the sound of knocking, I tensed up.

‘What, is my room not soundproofed? Did they hear all my cursing?!’

“Saintess, are you okay? We heard some noise from inside…”

‘It’s over… this is really over. My reputation is ruined.’

I forced my voice to sound as calm as possible.

“Ah, yes! I’m fine! I just… had a bit of a… coughing fit.”

There was a brief silence outside the door, then the voice spoke again.

“Then I’ll come in.”

‘Ah, please… don’t come in!’

But the door was already opening. The person who entered was a priest dressed in formal attire. He smiled warmly at me and spoke.

“Saintess, congratulations. I am Raphael, the priest who will be assisting you from today onward.”

‘Ah, another new guy? He’s probably going to talk about some “holy mission” or something.’

I forced a smile and nodded.

“Yes, I look forward to working with you.”

Raphael studied my expression and then approached with a serious face.

“But… the noise we heard earlier… are you really okay? It sounded quite intense…”

“Intense noise? Ah, f*ck, was it when I was pounding the bed?!”

I accidentally blurted out what I had only meant to say in my head.

Raphael’s face froze instantly.

“Gasp… S-Saintess…?”

‘Ah, I’m screwed, f*ck.’

…

……

………

I don’t know how long that moment felt.

Flustered, I quickly tried to backtrack.

“No, it’s… ah… um… the bed was creaking! So I was pounding it! Haha… you know, just to check if it’s… sturdy?”

Raphael looked at me with a bewildered expression. His eyes seemed to say,
‘Is that really something a Saintess would do…?’

I forced a smile and added,
“Well, since it’s the room for the Saintess… um, shouldn’t we inspect it? Right?”

Raphael still looked confused but nodded anyway.

“Ah… yes, well… if that’s what the Saintess says… I suppose the condition of the room is important too.”

He looked like he was thinking, ‘Is this really okay?’

‘Phew, I got away with it.’

But then he spoke again.

“But… when I came in, I thought I heard you say… ‘f*ck’… Did I mishear?”

‘Ah, f*ck.’

I swallowed another curse and forced the most natural smile I could muster.

“Ah! That? That was… um… oh, I was just excited while praying to God! It’s… um, a passionate expression of prayer! It’s a trendy phrase these days! Like ‘f*cking devote myself’ or something, in a holy sense! It means I’ll give everything for God! Yes, that’s it.”

Raphael looked confused but eventually nodded with an innocent expression unique to naive priests.

“Ah, I see. So it was a holy expression… I almost misunderstood. Your passion is truly remarkable, Saintess.”

‘Ah, okay. Okay. I got away with it.’

I sighed in relief internally while maintaining my forced smile. But at that moment, Raphael cautiously asked again.

“Then… is the room inspection finished?”

I forced another awkward laugh and replied.

“Ah, yes yes! It’s perfect now! A sturdy and holy room. No problems at all!”

He smiled and bowed.

“That’s good to hear. We’ll need to prepare for the evening ceremony soon, so please get ready, Saintess.”

“Yes! Yes! I will!”

As soon as he left and the door closed, I buried my face in the bed and screamed.

“F*ck… save me…”

.

.

.

Come to think of it, ever since coming to this world, the days have been a blur between reality and dreams, but one thing was certain.

‘In this game… no, in this world’s storyline, several hero parties will soon be formed.’

Memories of playing the game surfaced in my mind. That cliché-filled story—it probably wouldn’t be much different here.

The setting was that heroes chosen by God would form their own parties to confront the Demon King’s resurrection. 

Each party would consist of the usual combinations: a priest, a mage, a warrior, an archer… and among them, the core role was the priest, or rather, the Saintess.

‘Ha… but why does it have to be me?’

Now I realized that I wasn’t just chosen as the Saintess—I was being swept up in this flow.

‘Well, now that it’s come to this, it’s only a matter of time before I’m dragged into a hero party. Ah, f*ck… a Saintess, a virgin, and now I have to join a party too?’

I let out a deep sigh while sprawled on the bed.

Then, a sudden thought struck me.

‘Wait, in this world, when men and women go on adventures together, romance is practically mandatory, right? What if something like that happens?!’

I shot up from the bed.

‘I was a man!!! Well, I’m a woman now, but my heart is still a man’s!!! F*ck, what if the story gets twisted like that?!’

My mind was already flooded with all the cliché situations I’d seen in games. Like the hero suddenly falling for me, or another party member making advances…

‘Ah, please, I hope none of that happens…’

I flopped back onto the bed and buried my face.

‘Just let me live quietly, anyone, please, God…!’

But God’s will wasn’t about to grant me peace. Soon, there was a knock at the door.

Knock knock knock.

“Saintess, it’s time to prepare for the evening ceremony.”

‘Ah… f*ck, already?’

I weakly got up from the bed and looked at the mirror. The reflection was still pretty, but my mind was filled with curses.

‘Alright, let’s go. Whether it’s hero parties or whatever, let’s see how long I can last as this damn Saintess.’

I didn’t know what would happen next, but I was already prepared.

‘But seriously… someone save me.’

.

.

.

I slowly got up from the bed and checked myself in the mirror again.

‘Wow… there’s not a single trace of the man I used to be in this face.’

Is this really me? My hair was shining, my skin smooth, my lips naturally full and red. And that…

‘F*ck, stop looking.’

I turned away from the mirror and sighed.

Knock knock knock.

“Saintess, you need to come out soon.”

Raphael’s voice came again. I replied in the calmest tone I could muster.

“Ah, yes. I’ll be right out.”

‘It’s time to start acting like a Saintess.’

I looked at the Saintess robe hanging by the bed. It was a long, dress-like garment decorated in white and black. It looked fancy, but just the thought of wearing it irritated me.

‘Who would’ve thought I’d be wearing something like this… If I told my past self, I’d have laughed myself to the ground.’

As I reluctantly put on the robe, I thought to myself.

‘Hero parties? Holy ceremonies? All that’s fine, but please, just don’t give me any romance subplots.’

The thought of me, a former man, now a female Saintess, getting involved with a hero’s love life was disgusting just to imagine.

‘No, that kind of thing won’t happen. Why would I even create that kind of atmosphere with them?’

I tried to console myself as I finished adjusting the robe. But a sense of unease lingered in the corner of my mind.

‘Ha… but what’s this evening ceremony about? Prayers? Do I have to sing or something?’

I slowly made my way out of the room. At the end of the hallway, Raphael was waiting. He smiled brightly when he saw me.

“Saintess, you look truly beautiful. God will surely be pleased.”

‘This guy really knows how to piss people off without even trying.’

Outwardly, I smiled and said, “Thank you.” but inwardly, curses were pouring out.

“The ceremony is simple. You’ll offer prayers and the power of God’s blessing at the sacred altar.”

“Um… what exactly does ‘offering’ entail?”

Raphael smiled reassuringly.

“Just pray. And if something special happens during the ceremony, don’t worry. If it’s God’s will, everything will work out.”

‘Something special? Feels like another disaster waiting to happen…’

I suppressed my unease and followed Raphael.

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When we arrived at the altar, many priests were already preparing for the ceremony. They all bowed respectfully when they saw me.

‘Ah, come on. What’s with this over-the-top atmosphere?’

I tried my best not to look awkward as I climbed onto the altar. Sacred music began to play, and Raphael nodded at me.

“Saintess, please offer your prayers to God now.”

I knelt before the altar and clasped my hands.

‘Prayers… but I don’t even know what to say.’

My mind was already in chaos. In my past life, prayers were just lines like “healing spells” in RPGs…

‘Well, let’s just wing it. God probably isn’t even listening.’

I closed my eyes and tried to sound as holy as possible.

“Great Holy Mother… please bestow your blessings upon this place… (Heal)”

As soon as I finished speaking, a bright light enveloped the altar. The priests all looked at me in shock.

‘What, what did I do wrong?’

And then, in that moment.

“Saintess, your body… it’s glowing!”

‘F*ck, what?!’

 

Author Note

A/N (Author’s note):
Thank you for reading.

 

Translator Note

T/N (Translator’s note):
Just me like fr, I would curse everything out too!