Causes of Broken Composure (2)

“To take a step as a man and then abandon your partner and run away. You’re truly amazing, Ethan Young Master-nim.”

“Lilith, this is just….”

“I never imagined you’d sneak out like this while I was briefly asleep. Did your inner Casanova tendencies manifest the moment you broke free from the shackles of virginity?”

“I-I don’t know what those Casanova tendencies are, but it’s not like that, Lilith….”

“So, I’m just a woman you’ve conquered now, and you’ve lost interest, haven’t you? If I’d known this would happen, I would have teased Young Master-nim a bit more before devouring you. Like, around the time you graduated from the Academy, as originally promised… that would have been better.”

“No, it’s not that I’ve lost interest in Lilith, but….”

Ethan, caught from behind by me, stammered out various excuses in embarrassment. Seeing his flustered expression, I could roughly grasp what he was thinking.

I probed a little just in case, but it seemed he hadn’t intentionally abandoned me. Well, I had already figured that out when I saw his ignorant thought-purging training.

Having sufficiently enjoyed Ethan’s flustered face, I decided to clear up the misunderstanding here.

“I’m just joking, Ethan Young Master-nim. You must have had many complicated thoughts, so you simply stepped away for a moment. I fully understand, so you don’t need to worry.”

“…Sorry, Lilith. I really should have stayed by your side a little longer.”

“Still, I’d like to know why Young Master-nim was swinging a sword here. I’m sure there was a valid reason.”

“…My mind kept filling with distracting thoughts, so I was swinging it to try and shake them off.”

“Couldn’t you have done that in the room? I believe there were many ways, such as reading or meditating.”

“…Because Lilith was there.”

“……Huh?”

“…When Lilith is there, my eyes keep drifting to you. I couldn’t maintain my composure.”

…Hmm, well. If that’s the reason, then it can’t be helped.

For a boy in his prime, Lilith’s body isn’t exactly a good subject for emotional stability.

Even I would find it a bit difficult to simply ignore a beauty with a 105-centimeter bust sleeping naked in the same room. I could reasonably understand why he moved locations.

“So, this is what you were doing, swinging this wooden sword? You’re sweating buckets.”

“Ah, yeah…. So, maybe it’s better if you don’t get too close…?”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve sweated a lot…. Lilith’s body will also get the smell of sweat….”

“We can just wash it with Clean anyway. And I don’t think Young Master-nim and I are in a relationship where we’d be embarrassed by a little sweat now.”

“…That’s true, I guess.”

“And besides, we’re going to wash anyway.”

“Right, we have to wash… huh?”

After nodding to Ethan, who was looking at me with a questioning expression and pointing alternately between himself and me, I half-forcibly dragged him towards the Large Bath.

It would feel quite unpleasant to return to the bedroom, which I had just cleaned, in such sweat-soaked clothes.

⁎ ⁎ ⁎

-Cheombeong.

“Huuuh, ugh….”

After quickly washing up with Ethan, I leisurely soaked my body in the bath filled with hot water.

The warmth enveloped my body from all sides as soon as I lay down in the bath. The strange muscle aches I’d gotten from the bed earlier felt like they were slowly easing.

“Ethan Young Master-nim, why don’t you come in too?”

“Ah, yeah…. R-Right….”

-Cheombeong.

Ethan, whose body had just been washed by my hands, carefully dipped his foot into the bathtub with a slightly embarrassed expression.

I pretended not to see the ‘Young Master’ downstairs, which had gotten a little hard while being washed by my hands. It seemed Ethan himself had been subtly embarrassed for a while now.

‘Somehow, it feels like our roles have been reversed.’

Usually, after a first experience, the woman is supposed to be embarrassed and the man confident, right? Why do Ethan and I seem to be the opposite?

Considering the manly side he sometimes shows, it’s not like he doesn’t know how to act that way.

In fact, when Ethan was the one to pounce on me, his assertive and somewhat forceful demeanor was a little cool… no, I thought it looked good, so for me, it was a bit disappointing.

‘Come to think of it, there was always some issue when Ethan was the one to pounce.’

Like the day I secretly went out at night with Agnes and came back, or when he got jealous thinking there was some connection between the Hero and me, or after he drank the Suspicious Tea he received from the suspicious perfume shop lady.

Usually, that was the side he showed when his feelings for me became honest due to emotions like jealousy or worry. So, this docile Ethan is probably closer to his usual self.

‘Now, he’ll likely show fewer intense emotional reactions like that.’

In any case, it was Ethan who took my ‘first time,’ so at least I wouldn’t have to worry about someone else taking my first experience. Of course, that doesn’t mean I’ll suddenly develop a preference for being taken by Ethan one day.

At the very least, the periodic ‘fits’ he used to show towards Gyeotmwa Jyosyegigot will definitely decrease. He’ll also realize to some extent that he’s been overly cautious.

‘I wonder if Ethan will no longer forcefully pounce on me like before. It’s a bit disappointing… Ah.’

No, what the hell am I thinking right now?

If Ethan doesn’t pounce, that’s a good thing, so what’s there to be disappointed about? What kind of insane thought is this?

Perhaps because it hadn’t been long since my first experience, my mind was in a state of confusion.

“Ethan Young Master-nim?”

“Ah, yeah.”

“Why are you sitting so far away?”

“S-Sorry…. Should I come over there?”

“How could I, a maid, dare to call Young Master-nim over? I will come to you.”

“W-Wait, Lilith….”

-Chambang.

I walked towards Ethan, who was staring at me with a dazed expression from the opposite side of the Large Bath, and as expected, the moment I approached, he became flustered, unable to find a place to look.

If he was going to be that flustered, he shouldn’t have sat so far away in the first place. Leaving me alone in the bedroom so suddenly, and various other actions, he was truly choosing the worst possible behaviors for a man who had just experienced his first night.

…If I get the chance, I should teach him a few things about this too. If he acts like this after his first night with his real wife later, any affection she might have will completely disappear.

-Cheombeong.

“L-Lilith….”

“As I just said, after your first night, you shouldn’t act vaguely and like a virgin, Ethan Young Master-nim. How disappointed would Young Master-nim’s future wife be if she saw such an unseemly display from you?”

“…Sorry, Lilith. Are you perhaps disappointed?”

“I am fine, Ethan Young Master-nim. I already knew that you have some naive aspects. However, it will become a problem when you eventually marry a wife who is not me.”

“Another wife….”

“Marriage among nobles is a union between families, isn’t it? If Young Master-nim doesn’t cherish your wife, you will inevitably cause conflict with her family later on.”

“Conflict with the family…. Haha….”

Ethan looked at me and let out a detached laugh, as if he wasn’t really listening to my words.

‘Come to think of it, Ethan is getting to an age where he should be engaged, so why haven’t I heard any news of an engagement?’

Of course, outwardly, I am known as Ethan’s fiancée (or something similar). After all, the Dormitory Ethan and I use is a Marriage/Engagement Dormitory.

However, using a fake fiancée like this while taking another wife behind the scenes was one of the most common practices among nobles.

Setting up a fake fiancée like this was a method used to prevent indiscriminate courtship requests from other families. It was used to convey meanings like, ‘When the time comes, I’ll find a fiancée and marry on my own, so don’t bother,’ or ‘My fiancée is already decided, but it’s someone who cannot be publicly announced, so don’t interfere.’

Indeed, for a while after Ethan first appeared at social gatherings, he would receive ten love letters a day. Marriage proposals from daughters of other noble families always followed a handsome, capable, and well-born Noble Young Master like a tag.

After I started acting as Ethan’s public fiancée, the number of love letters significantly decreased. Of course, even now, it feels like about one still arrives per day.

As I thought about such things, I wondered what Ethan was preparing and how, but the answer I got from him was that I didn’t need to worry about it.

“Thank you for your concern, but I don’t think you need to worry about that part, Lilith.”

“Huh?”

“Whether the other woman gets disappointed, or conflicts with the family… Lilith, you don’t need to worry about those things.”

“……Ah, yes. I see.”

As expected, Ethan did have someone in mind after all.

Keeping it a secret even from me must mean that maintaining secrecy is even more important. So, I didn’t press him further.

…Though I didn’t expect there to actually be someone, which slightly broke my composure.