Beginner dad.

Time passed quickly as I started playing with my young teacher, who was continually amazed by my musical taste.

“Si-yoon! Dad is here!”

While playing the piano, I glanced at the entrance.

My dad looked thrilled to see me sitting in front of the piano.

As I looked at my father like that, I waved my hand roughly out of annoyance.

Before I knew it, Dad came next to me like a puppy.

“Did you have fun Siyoon?”

“no.”

Dad seemed to have gotten used to my reaction and naturally ignored it and continued talking.

However, what is different from usual is that my father, who was only looking at me, cannot take his eyes off the piano.

It looked like he was anxious to hit me right away.

“…..”

Dad was staring intently at the keys I was pressing.

“Dad, I’m really good at playing the piano too… If Siyoon wants… shall I show her?”

I looked at my dad and slightly lifted my hand from the keyboard.

“try.”

Although it is a toy piano, Dad touches the keys with trembling fingers.

When I press the keys with my index finger, my fingers tremble even more, as if I am feeling a thrill.

My dad quickly pressed the button once and looked at the piano with the same happy expression he always had on me.

A melody you’ve never heard before, a melody so beautiful you wouldn’t think it was a toy piano.

It began to echo throughout the daycare center.

Teachers and children alike began to gather as if fascinated by the sound of the toy piano.

My dad took turns looking at me and the piano, and he had an expression on his face as if he was seeing the ultimate happiness right before his eyes.

I have to admit it again.

The children I raised as ‘family’ despite having no family,

But in the end, they were the ones who had to die because of me.

In light of the emotions I felt while raising them, the new father I am looking at now is…

I take for granted the things I cannot do, and act as if it is right to do this.

For the sake of a small, young blood, he gave up what he loved the most and what he wanted to do for four years.

I admit it, I will admit it, having lived for 49 years.

He is a true ‘father’ who is doing what I could not do.

At this moment, no, everything that that young man shows…

It made me think of the true meaning of ‘family’.

Dad said, looking back and forth between the piano and me and smiling as if he had realized true happiness.

“Dad, you’re the best, right?”

I chuckled and placed my hands on the keyboard as a small repayment to my father who sacrificed nearly four years for me.

Following the film of memories that played like a video, I began to slowly but accurately press the keys that my father had pressed in order from the beginning.

Ignoring my father’s reaction of surprise and astonishment, I pressed the button to the beat that my father had played.

“…..”

It didn’t end there. When I hit it again, I tried to apply the techniques and emotions that my dad had shown me.

“!!!”

Dad looks at my little finger with an absurd expression.

“What are you doing?”

I offered the empty seat next to me, and my dad knelt down next to me.

Dad placed his hand on my right hand, and I pressed the keys to the beat with my left hand.

Dad started playing the melody, and a new sound was created.

Dad expressing his feelings on the piano to the beat I’m playing,

The happy expression on my father’s face as he looked at me was at the piano.

“Isn’t it awesome?”

“Huh… my daughter is amazing, isn’t she?”

After putting me in the top seat of a car that looked like a spaceship,

Dad offered to buy me snacks, so we headed to the supermarket.

“What did you do at daycare?”

My dad asks me with a loving expression as I play with my cell phone.

“They said they saw it on camera.”

But my father became quiet at my answer.

“…..”

“Do I really need to say this again, something that I know and Dad knows?”

“… sorry.”

After finding out what family was, I started teasing this new dad with fresh emotions.

My new father accepted my tone of voice, but often showed a dejected look.

I wonder if it’s to let the other person know that when I say something like this, it hurts them, and to be honest, it’s funny.

And maybe… just my opinion… that newbie dad was enjoying it too.

‘True taste…’

At first, I hid and cried a lot, probably because my appearance reminded me of my mother.

These days, I mostly see him smiling brightly.

After arriving at the supermarket, my dad, who was wearing a mask and sunglasses, put a special mask on me.

“stuffy”

“But should I wear this so people won’t recognize me?”

“Why not find out?”

Dad looked at me and smiled.

“I don’t know about Siyoon, but it’s very difficult when you become famous.”

I looked at my dad and said,

“Staying at home all the time?”

“… um… you won’t be able to go out much… right?”

“What are you saying that you didn’t go out because of me?”

“…..”

I said with a smile.

“Well… it still looks difficult~”

“… Ah… Dad, does it look like you’re having a hard time?”

I tried to get off the head seat where the car seat was installed, but my dad lifted me up and held me in his arms.

“It’s comfortable~”

“I will take care of you, princess~”

“Okay, let’s go. I’m craving salty snacks today.”

“Ahaha”

I sat in the shopping cart and looked around, as if I was exploring a new world.

“and…”

‘The world has become so much better…’

My dad said to me with a playful look on his face.

“Is Si-yoon interesting?”

“huh.”

I started asking questions like other kids my age.

“What is that?”

Dad started explaining everything one by one,

As if the people around me were paying attention, I started speaking in English.

As I watched my father speak English, old memories came to mind.

In the past, the English pronunciation I used was similar to that of a gangster.

The English I learned to adapt when I was working as a mercenary,

“Holy shiiit, So Amazing bro”

“…Daughter?”

“Oh my gosh… What the fuck is that… !?”

“…..”

The exclamation coming from the mouth of a 4-year-old girl with the cute appearance of a baby angel.

There was nothing better to embarrass my father.

“You’re doing it on purpose…?”

“huh.”

My dad seemed to think the source of my English was ‘movie review’ and asked me.

“…Did you see it in a movie? Do you know what it means?”

“Are you afraid you won’t know?”

“…Dad, I like it when you say nice things to my daughter…”

“Okay~”

After adding various meats, ham, sausages, vegetables, and snacks, we approached the checkout counter.

“Huh…? Could it be…”

Dad put his finger to his mouth and spoke quietly.

“Check please.”

“Ah yes…”

When I looked down from below, the part-time worker looked at me with a surprised expression.

“You’re so pretty~ What’s your name?”

“If I search, will it come up?”

“… uh?”

With difficulty, I passed the bag of snacks on the counter to my dad.

Dad naturally opened the bag of snacks and gave them to me.

“You have to be polite to adults~”

“So you’re talking about your dad’s name too?”

“…..”

“hug me.”

As I opened my arms, Dad lifted me up.

Dad’s arms are good for riding.

I lowered my mask and ate the cookies one by one.

“It’s Si-yoon, if I go somewhere and talk about it, will my dad hide me?”

“… I see…”

“Dad, you know it’s been hard, right? Please take care of me~”

“huh!”

My dad smiled at me and then said to the part-time worker.

“Perhaps… would you like me to sign your autograph?”

“Huh! Really?”

The part-time worker who spoke softly quickly took out his notebook.

Dad wrote down the date and signed.

“Can I do it too?”

“really!?”

Dad looked at me curiously.

– Kim Ji-ho’s daughter Kim Si-yoon’s autograph★.

I said while waving goodbye to the part-time worker who was thrilled.

“If I become famous later, I can show off that I got an autograph.”

“Definitely! I will.”

I waved my hand coolly.

“Goodbye! Come again next time~”

Dad had an ambiguous expression at first, but then he was smiling at me.

“Shall we go home and make something delicious?”

“huh.

I told my dad who couldn’t let go of me.

“Would you like to put me down and pick up the luggage?”

“I guess I bought too much… what should I do?”

He ignored my words, hugged me tightly, and spoke to my father who was worried.

“Put me down, I’ll follow you.”

“…..”

I spoke to my father who stood in one place and thought for about 15 minutes.

“I need to pee.”

“uh?”

“Please put me down, I’m cumming here?”

Dad quickly dropped me off and picked up my luggage.

By saying that he needed to pee, he was able to reduce the worry time of a new father.

We quickly boarded the elevator.

Dad holding a lot of luggage in both hands.

“You can come again next time. Why did you buy so much?”

“Kim Si-yoon, you were the one who asked me to buy most of them…”

“So it’s because of me?”

Dad thought for a moment and then answered.

“no…”

“I’m young and can’t control it, so my dad shouldn’t let me buy it.”

“right…”

A female student I didn’t know who was riding with me in the elevator giggled at the sight of us as father and daughter.

“Oh my, it’s so pretty.”

“i know.”

“Really? You know pretty things, and you’re smart?”

“I know that too.”

“Then what is there that you don’t know?”

I was slowly starting to get annoyed by this girl.

“Um… Mom’s face?”

“Uh… Huh? I… I’m sorry…”

As if I didn’t want to argue, the female student raised a white flag as soon as I cast Tallulah.

Dad looked at me in confusion.

“what.”

“Oh… no.”

When I got home, my dad put down my luggage and washed me.

“Si-yoon, I said I needed to pee.”

“Yeah, that’s a lie.”

“…..”

Dad saw me sitting on the sofa and sat down next to me.

“daughter.”

“huh?”

“Do you want to see Mom?”

“Specifically?”

What I said to the young student in the elevator still bothered him,

Dad was smiling awkwardly.

I glanced at him and said:

“If you have something to say, say it.”

“… I’m sorry, Dad.”

I said to my father, who turned away.

“It’s okay to cry if you’re tired, don’t hide it”

“Our Siyun… is smart and kind…”

My father just looked at me for a while and then decided to do something.

I went up to the second floor and took out a box full of dust.

Then he stands still for a long time, looking at the box.

Dad’s expression was changing more complexly as time passed.

Then Dad nodded to himself, wiped the box with a handkerchief and brought it back.

Then he opened the box and handed it to me.

“This is what Siyun’s mom used.”

I became interested and looked at the photos.

A new father whose eyes got red as he saw me looking at the photo.

“Dad, show me, the photo is heavy.”

“… huh.”

Dad made me sit on his lap, took out a picture and showed it to me.

It was filled with pictures of the two smiling happily, whether they had been dating each other since they were young, and pictures of the young father when he was younger.

From the way he waited for his father’s military service, to the way he was happy to have me.

Watching each other perform, my mother was also a celebrity.

As I turned through each photo, my father’s tears fell on my head, but I pretended not to notice.

“It’s pretty.”

Dad answered my question in a quiet, trembling voice.

“Right…? It’s very… pretty, right?”

“Yes. You’re as pretty as me.”

At my reaction, my father burst into tears and forced a smile.

Dad looked at the photo for a while, then I took out the notebook next to me and opened it.

An item that appears to be a mother’s diary.

– If you steal my diary again, will I bite you?

Words written in a diary, words that contain literal meaning.

With thick teardrops falling on my head, I looked at my dad.

My dad put me down next to him with trembling hands and started sobbing as if his heart was tight and as if he couldn’t bear it.

Dad’s trembling cry.

While looking at my father, I made my face towards him and said with a slight smile.

“Should we take a picture and put it there too? So Mom can see it.”

The young, new father sobbing in front of him wiped his face with his trembling hands.

And with a face full of tears and snot, he smiled as brightly as he could and held me in his arms.

“Yeah… Then.”