358. Child (1)

After that day, I didn’t want to even see sex… or rather, I didn’t.

I was surprised too, but after resting for about two days, I was back to normal.

Instead, I felt like I had changed a bit afterwards.

It’s hard to say myself, but should I say I became sharper, or cooler-headed?

Anyway, I was able to sort out my thoughts a lot.

In many ways.

The most important among them was the strange sense of unease I felt when selling off the gym.

Originally, I thought it was strange for me to feel bothered, but when you think about it, I am strange, right?

Since there’s no one with dirtier hands than mine, I did some digging just in case,

And strangely enough, my intuition wasn’t wrong.

“…What are you going to do, Oppa?”

The person who showed up to take over the gym was, surprisingly, an acquaintance of the Director Yangban from Hinami and Jia’s agency.

Not just any acquaintance, either; apparently, they had worked together in the past.

To dismiss this as mere coincidence would mean having no sense of intuition at all, let alone being dull.

No matter how I look at it, they clearly approached me either to monitor me or to dig up something.

“Well. What is there to do or not do?”

But separate from that, there was no way to undo something already finalized.

Besides, it had been a long time since I’d even been to the gym, and the footage from the CCTV was already long gone.

Of course, there were no risks to bear after handing over the store.

After taking over, they might try to dig around asking things like, ‘What was the previous owner like?’, but by then, Soo-ah and the trainer who was hitting on her would have both quit, so there’s no problem.

If they were going to question them directly, that would be different, but that’s a risk I’d have to manage even if I hadn’t sold the store.

In the end, all I could do was pretend not to notice.

“…I suppose so.”

“I’ll have to lie low for a while.”

“But I’m riding in Oppa’s car right now?”

“That doesn’t mean I can skip the hospital visit.”

Of course, that’s one thing, but I still have things to do.

A sure way to know if I’m being watched or followed?

I’m not some special agent, so there’s no such thing.

Once I’ve harbored suspicion, it’s only a matter of time before I get caught if I keep digging.

It’s best to just mix up my routes and disguise myself thoroughly.

So, who should I disguise myself as?

There’s really only one answer.

“But, this is really uncomfortable. Ehehehe…”

“Bear with it a little longer.”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just… I’m starting to see how amazing unnie really is.”

“…She did always complain about her shoulders being stiff.”

Hinami, transformed with the same hairstyle as Haeun and stuffed with padding, did look quite unbalanced.

The wig actually suited her, but with that face and suddenly prominent breasts, it was truly awkward.

She’s pretty, though, anyway.

Once she put on high-heeled shoes to compensate for her height, and with a mask on, she could almost pass for Haeun.

What’s certain is that she’s indistinguishable from a distance, and for now, I don’t see any cars following us.

“Anyway, we’re getting the check-up and going straight home. We can’t stop anywhere, understand?”

“Yes~.”

…I wish I could be kinder, but I can’t help it.

If we can just hold on for three more months, I can do anything.

As long as nothing major happens until then, it’ll be fine, so for now, I just had to endure this slight inconvenience.

If they’re sneaky enough to hire people to watch me, then anything could happen if I’m actually caught.

**

“….”

“….”

The examination showed no problems.

Six weeks pregnant.

The ultrasound went well, and it wasn’t a case of phantom pregnancy or anything like that.

However, we couldn’t easily bring ourselves to speak on the way home.

…Because we heard the baby’s heartbeat.

Thump, thump, thump, thump.

Hearing the baby’s heart beating steadily, my mind went blank.

An indescribable emotion.

My chest felt too heavy to chatter and giggle like before.

“…Oppa.”

“Yeah.”

“Um, uh, well… No, it’s nothing.”

“…Feeling a bit stuffy?”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just… I feel strange.”

“Me too.”

Actually, we haven’t known each other that long.

We only met this year, and became involved this year.

We weren’t even officially dating.

It was a relationship where we needed each other’s bodies.

Of course, it’s true that I was healed by her during that process, and she came to rely on me too.

But… seeing the proof that we’d mixed blood, Hinami beside me no longer looked like just Hinami.

…She looked like a partner I would spend my life with.

“It’s not like I just found out today, I knew this already, but it still feels… strange.”

“It’s natural.”

“…Is becoming a mother always like this?”

“…Probably.”

It was a first for me, and a first for her.

We were both too inexperienced to find the right words.

So, all I could do was gently stroke the bewildered Hinami.

Whatever the outcome may be.

Being by her side is my responsibility as the father.

**

I wanted to be loved.

Because neither my mom nor my dad loved me that much.

Still, I realized that if I acted cute, they’d find me adorable, so I lived my life being cute.

That became the reason I was even bullied in middle school… but in the end, I got a job where I could be loved, and I received more love than I could handle.

But being loved wasn’t always a happy thing.

People I didn’t even want love from showered me with it, and the more people loved me, the more people hated me.

At first, it was bearable, but bit by bit, I was worn down, worn down.

When I suddenly came to my senses, my heart was in tatters.

I tried drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes, desperately wanting to endure it somehow.

Neither tasted good, but at least they helped me stop thinking.

But I grew accustomed to that too, and started seeking more intense stimulation.

I knew that my fans didn’t just like me because I was cute.

Even though they treated me like a baby and cooed over how cute I was, countless people looked at ‘Nakazawa Hinami’ with sexual desire.

So… I did many things alone at home.

There were times I lightly considered throwing away my virginity if a reasonably decent man came along.

But the more I got to know myself, the more I felt it would be a waste to be held by an inadequate man.

That’s when Joo-hyuk oppa appeared.

A suspicious man with Haeun unnie by his side.

He was much taller than me, his body a mass of muscles from all the exercise, with a masculine and imposing face.

My body made the impulsive judgment, ‘Maybe someone like him would be okay,’

And the more I talked with oppa, the more my mind desired him too.

So I let him hold me,

And I gained so much.

How to love, and how to be loved.

What words would make a man happy, and how to feel pleasure without pain.

After receiving so much…

Now, I’ve even received a child.

…Honestly, even right after getting pregnant, it didn’t feel real.

Ah, I belong to this man forever now.

That feeling was stronger; I didn’t really feel like a ‘mother’.

But today, hearing the baby’s heartbeat at the hospital, my own heart felt like it would burst.

I’ve really become a mother.

Though I can’t proudly tell others, it was the same when I was born.

Compared to me, born from an affair, the child born from a secret pregnancy by an idol should have a better life, I must strive for that.

Me, and oppa too.

Will the child resemble me, or oppa?

Thinking such thoughts, I unconsciously caress my belly in the rolling car.

Oppa glanced at me, then quietly placed his hand on my head and stroked me.

…It’s a bit disappointing that I’m wearing a wig, though.

Oppa’s hands are so thick, I could feel plenty of love.

“…Oppa.”

“What is it?”

“I want to name the baby Ai (愛), what do you think?”

“…Isn’t ‘Ai’ a bit too much like ‘puppy’?”

“It’s Nakazawa Ai. For now, aren’t we raising her as my younger sister?”

“…Let’s think about it some more. We don’t even know the gender yet.”

“Okay.”

So, Ai.

If she’s born a girl, I want to give her this name.

Just as I received love from oppa, I want my child to be loved by someone.

Of course, if she ends up being a trash like oppa, dating multiple women, that would be a bit problematic… but I’m sharp now.

What kind of man will she bring home? She’s inheriting quite a cursed bloodline.

My grandmother got pregnant by cheating with a foreigner, my mom is a woman who dated men shamelessly despite being an idol.

My dad is a playboy who sleeps around with three or four women, and I suspect oppa’s parents aren’t exactly normal either.

Will she be able to grow up well?

I have to do a good job.

I-

“….”

I really need to do a good job.

…Why.

As we were entering the parking lot, could I see a familiar car?

It definitely wasn’t there earlier.

That black car.

“…What’s wrong?”

“…Please drive further inside.”

“Why?”

It was dark inside the car, so I couldn’t see anything.

But I was certain someone was inside.

“That’s… the Director’s car…”

“….”

…To capture me.

To turn me back into an idol.