265. Trip (35)

I absolutely do not like him.

Because I wanted to relieve stress, and because I wanted to get back at my disgusting unnie.

I’m just playing along with his tastes for a little while.

It’s all an act.

A concept.

This way, we both get excited.

I was used to smiling brightly and waving at people I didn’t even like.

Holding hands and hugging men I disliked.

It wasn’t difficult to make love like animals.

“Hoo…”

Looking at him pressing down on me, making that dazed expression, wasn’t so bad.

My head felt floaty, like I was flying somewhere.

My already dim vision grew hazier, and his sharp eyes gradually blurred.

If I fell asleep like this and woke up, it felt like everything would be forgotten like a dream….

“…Is it fun?”

Like it would be forgotten.

A deep, dark scene.

I didn’t even hear the door open.

Before I knew it, unnie was beside me, crouching down and staring intently at my face.

“….”

“I asked you. Ye-eun-ah. …Are you having fun?”

My breath hitched for a moment as unnie spoke coldly to me, her face so flushed it seemed bright even in the darkness.

Even through her stiff tone, her drunkenness was still palpable.

An even deeper, sticky emotion rode the alcohol scent and pierced my nostrils.

It felt different from usual.

A different tone.

Something that couldn’t be explained by the word jealousy.

“Why aren’t you answering? …Maybe it’s not fun?”

“Ah, th- hakk…”

An inexplicable chill swept over my body, and I reflexively opened my mouth without having anything prepared to say.

But at the same time, he who had been pinning me down pulled away.

Instead of words, only a thrilling moan escaped my lips.

“Looks like it’s fun. …Then that’s fine. Do more.”

“Huh…?”

“I said, do more. What you were doing.”

Hearing my unsightly sounds, unnie stretched her lips into a wide grin and smirked at me.

Clearly, Kang Joo-hyuk was the one cheating.

Even if she was angry, she should be mad at him, not me.

Strangely, unnie didn’t spare a glance at him.

She only looked at me.

Stroking my hair,

“…You weren’t thinking of just doing it once and sleeping, were you?”

“….”

“You really don’t know anything about Joo-hyuk, do you? …He absolutely never stops after just one time at night.”

Seo Haeun, wearing a smile like her sister’s for the first time in years,

smirked at me, grabbed Kang Joo-hyuk’s stiffly standing cock in her hand.

Drip, drip, getting all the remaining semen on her hand,

she smeared it all over my skin to wipe it off, then, with her moist hand, pried open my lips and said.

“Did you think I’d be jealous of you?”

“N-no… Aaaah…”

Through my parted lips.

Her finger dug between my teeth, which had snapped shut, and grabbed my tongue.

The mixed scent of him and unnie had a slightly fishy taste.

“Young, tall. Pretty. Rich and popular. Loved by people. Worried that this useless unnie might have to sell her body instead of working, you even lent me that expensive house at market price…. You really are talented, my sister. If only you didn’t have that shitty personality, I could have bragged about you anywhere.”

“Nngh…”

But the smell of bodily fluids, which I was now used to and wasn’t exactly disgusted by,

was nothing compared to the smell of alcohol wafting from unnie in this dark room.

It felt several times stronger.

“But our Ye-eun-ah sees her unnie way too shittily, doesn’t she? …Do I seem that laughable to you? Ah, of course, to the great star of our family, Seo Jia, a YouTuber who lives off putting her boobs on a guitar probably looks laughable. …But you know what? You and I are the same.”

“….”

“When I worked at the place Dad set me up in, you heard all sorts of things too. …There were so many comments about wanting to fuck the Director’s daughter.”

“….”

“Ah, well, those guys weren’t idiots, so they didn’t say it right in front of me. …Your brother-in-law told me. You know that player who taught you how to pitch when you came for the ceremonial first pitch? He apparently snickered, saying your thighs were fucking amazing and he wanted to fuck you raw.”

Things I had already guessed without needing to be told.

I had always known what kind of thoughts men who glanced at me furtively from nearby, pretending not to be lecherous, were harboring.

I had long known what kind of value my profession generated by selling fantasies.

But.

“But want to hear something funny? That guy actually hit on me first and got rejected. And not just me, he hit on a cheerleader too and got rejected. …That cheerleader dated Joo-hyuk briefly, and after that, she only dated tall guys. Well, maybe she specifically chose guys with big dicks.”

“….”

“Know what’s funnier? The guy I just mentioned signed a 10 billion won contract with another team and married a rich girl. Well, regardless of his character, he succeeded. So… in his eyes, what’s the difference between you and me?”

I.

Endured all those gazes because I thought I was special.

“He probably just saw us as women he wanted to fuck. He’d only treat his wife a little specially. …So, besides that player, how do you think Joo-hyuk sees you?”

“….”

Unnie.

Didn’t think I was special at all.

More precisely,

she believed I wouldn’t be special to him.

She firmly believed that she would be the special one to him.

She firmly believed it.

“I don’t think what you did, Ye-eun-ah, is cheating, so I’m not jealous of you. …Joo-hyuk’s libido is too much for me to handle alone anyway, and after he has sex with someone like you, he becomes more affectionate towards me, so I don’t really mind.”

“….”

“But it’s a bit problematic if you get the wrong idea? …You’re just a release for his sexual urges. If you mistakenly think you’re having a secret affair, you’ll get hurt later?”

“Nngh…”

“Anyway, you don’t even have the guts to reveal it to others. …Can you throw it all away? Everything you’ve built up until now, toss it all down the drain. You’re not prepared at all to live being pointed at by others.”

She took her hand away from my mouth.

Swish, swish.

Stroking my hair like when I was little,

“It’s fine if you enjoy it, but don’t get too deep. …I’m saying this because I think you’ll get hurt.”

As if

wearing the face of an older sister admonishing her younger sibling.

“Ye-eun-ah, you’re not Hinami. You absolutely cannot live like her.”

“….”

“You have to live like me. …You can’t stand it if you’re not number one, can you?”

After throwing a terrifyingly cold warning at me,

“Ah, of course, it’s fine if you can endure it. …Just don’t try to climb over me. Got it?”

“….”

“If you want to climb over, do it like me. …Don’t do it like Hinami.”

After saying everything she wanted, unnie got up from her seat.

She took Kang Joo-hyuk’s hand, his lips pressed into a tight line, his body stiff.

Dragging his large frame, she left the room and walked towards the hot springs.

Left alone in the room,

only his faint, fishy scent and the smell of alcohol lingered subtly.

**

Until now, I hadn’t thought deeply about it.

Because thinking deeply about it made it too complicated.

The more seriously I thought about it, the more tangled the unsolvable thread became, so I had intentionally ignored it.

Haeun picked up that tangled thread and thrust it right before my eyes.

Without asking me to untangle it or cut it off cleanly.

She simply made me acknowledge the fact that the thread was tangled.

“What are you doing, Joo-hyuk-ah? Come in.”

I shrugged off my yukata and followed Haeun, who was already submerged in the hot spring, stepping into the water.

Normally, I shouldn’t be doing this after drinking so much, but the alcohol had worn off long ago, so I felt fine.

Submerging myself in the hot water and letting out a long sigh filled with the scent of alcohol warmed my chilled head a little.

…Is Haeun really envisioning a future with me?

To be honest, until now, I wasn’t sure either.

Even if she got tired of me someday,

even if she hated and loathed me.

it wouldn’t actually be strange at all,

because that was the ‘common sense’ progression.

“Are you tired?”

“…Yeah.”

I could meticulously draw a future with Hinami.

I hadn’t done anything wrong to her.

She fell for me first, she seduced me.

And I gave in to that seduction.

After her contract ended, whether we got married, or secretly had a child and lived in hiding.

There wouldn’t really be any problem.

I could answer any question clearly, no matter what a grown child asked.

I was her fan, and she was my fan.

“You’re not angry, right? …Did you want to do more?”

“…No.”

But a future with Haeun, strangely, wouldn’t come into focus.

How should I explain it?

Because when I slept with her, it was purely out of revenge.

…Only now.

Though much has changed.