241. Trip (11)

…My head hurts like hell.

Surprisingly, my body was mostly fine, but perhaps because I had exerted myself mentally quite a bit, my head felt like it was going to shatter.

I hadn’t had a single drop of alcohol, yet feeling this exhausted was something I hadn’t experienced in a long time.

“Ugh….”

“Mmm….”

The culprits who made me this tired were sprawled out beside me, fast asleep.

Carefully shifting so as not to wake them, I checked the time. It was only 4 AM.

Hinami and Seo Jia’s schedule started at 9, so there was plenty of time left.

Actually, it wasn’t a fixed schedule; it was just a trip for two popular members to film a vlog, so being late wouldn’t matter much.

“…Ah.”

Just as I was about to lie down and try to sleep again, something suddenly flashed through my mind, and I threw off the covers.

…Did I turn off the recording in that room yesterday when I left?

I searched hard through the intense memories etched deep in my brain, but strangely, I couldn’t recall finishing the filming.

Thinking the camera battery must have died, I carefully slipped out from between them, opened the tightly shut sliding door, and entered the room where Seo Jia was sleeping.

“…….”

Sniffle, sniffle.

Inside the small room, lit only by moonlight, lay the image of a beautiful girl sleeping soundly alone.

I’d thought she was immature personality-wise a few times before, but this was the first time she looked so young externally.

Maybe it was because she was covered up to her chin with the blanket, showing only her bare face.

Walking on tiptoe so as not to wake her, who looked regal despite her personality, I turned on my phone’s flashlight and touched the camera still mounted on the tripod.

“…?”

But contrary to my expectations, the camera had plenty of battery left.

Just in case, I checked the recording, and it had stopped less than an hour in.

Muting the sound and playing the end of the remaining footage, I saw Seo Jia, buried in her blanket, suddenly sit bolt upright, turn off the camera, and leave.

Thinking it was quite unexpected that Seo Jia would do something helpful for me, I stroked my chin.

“Wha… What is it?”

Seo Jia, who had been tossing and turning under the covers, opened her eyes blearily, spotted me, and startled, sat straight up.

Seeing her eyes widen instantly, I figured she might wake Haeun and Hinami sleeping in the next room if I wasn’t careful, so I put my index finger to my lips and carefully closed the sliding door.

Then, hugging her blanket, she sat up and stared intently at me. I crouched down in front of her and whispered softly.

“You turned off the camera. Thank you.”

“…Because of that?”

“What else? Do you think I came here to rape you?”

“….”

As I expressed my gratitude sincerely, I could see the hostility gradually draining from her eyes, which had been full of anxiety.

Still, she didn’t change her posture, clutching the blanket to her chest and leaning back. I stretched out my legs, went back to the camera, detached it from the tripod, and neatly put everything away.

Even with my back turned, her intense gaze felt sharp, and I thought I understood why she had suddenly woken up mid-sleep to turn off the camera.

The feeling of someone watching you intently is palpable, even with your eyes closed.

“Go back to sleep. I’m going back to sleep too.”

“What time is it?”

“Four.”

“Why at this hour….”

“My head hurts. I guess I got too worked up yesterday.”

Speaking softly in a tone similar to how I talked with Haeun at home, Seo Jia seemed unfamiliar with my manner of speech, licking her lips and glaring at me with question marks in her eyes.

Of course, considering how I’d acted towards her until now, it wasn’t strange for her to find it awkward.

Seo Jia’s gaze bothered me strangely, so instead of turning to go back to the other room, I stopped myself and plopped down onto the tatami mat.

“…Weren’t you going to sleep?”

“Ah, just for a moment. My head hurts. Let me rest a bit.”

Instead, feigning a headache that wasn’t entirely fake, I clutched my forehead and habitually fiddled with my phone screen.

I turned on the internet, went to the sports section of the portal site, and clicked on any baseball article.

Scrolling all the way down just to bump up the reporters’ view counts, I went back and clicked on another article.

Then I turned off the internet, turned on YouTube, and browsed Haeun’s channel.

Confirming that the view count trend was good today too, it was a routine that inwardly relieved me.

As I calmed my mind and body repeating this utterly useless routine, Seo Jia, who had been watching me sit there, seemed to grow curious, shuffling her butt closer to me.

“What are you doing…. Ah….”

I suddenly grabbed her wrist as she moved closer to the brightly lit screen from the darkness.

I turned off YouTube, opened my photo gallery, scrolled up and down frantically, and then picked one of the recently taken photos, thrusting it before her eyes.

“I’m meditating, meditating. …Looking at things like this helps me relax.”

“…You’re crazy.”

Needless to say, it was a picture of herself being violated.

They weren’t sorted yet, so various things were mixed together, but it was clear that photos of her featured heavily among those taken today.

She scrunched up her face upon seeing pictures of herself degraded, sending me looks of hatred and disgust, but…

“Just kidding. …Actually, I don’t really like this stuff either. I prefer things like this.”

“Stop lying….”

I put away Seo Jia’s photos and this time opened a folder full of pictures taken with her sister, showing it to her.

Unlike the pictures taken with her, this was a folder packed with everyday photos.

Upon witnessing a photo of her sister giggling with a spoon in her mouth right before her eyes, her mouth, which had been expressing irritation towards me, snapped shut just like her sister’s in the picture.

“It’s not like I only look at explicit photos whenever I’m bored. …I actually look at these more often.”

“…Then why do you bring those things and torment me?”

“That’s… if I have to explain it simply, it’s like merchandise. Like photocards. They’re damn useless, but fans want to collect them, right? Since I’m a fan of yours too, I collect similar things.”

“Stop talking nonsense.”

As I countered her logical rebuttal with sophistry, Seo Jia looked at me with a pathetic expression and waved my hand away dismissively.

But that attitude actually felt friendly to me, so I wasn’t as bothered as I might have expected.

Normally, it wouldn’t have been strange for her to have made a vicious face and shown disgust.

I couldn’t be sure if it was because she was sleepy or if she’d grown fond of me from all the… intimacy.

“Why. If your fans were offered a trade for photocards or albums, a hundred out of a hundred would choose this.”

“…That’s not the point.”

“Should I test it? You said you were going to Fukuoka later, right? If I tag along and ask your fans, I bet I’d win.”

“Hey, stop joking around….”

“Alright.”

Satisfied with her attitude, not throwing my jokes back at me like before but just deftly dodging them, I placed my hand on her disheveled hair and slowly stroked it.

It wasn’t because I found her cute or admirable, not at all.

“….”

…The moment my hand touched her, her face contorted.

It suited her personality perfectly.

I wanted to see it at least once before sleeping.

“Anyway. Go back to sleep. It’ll be tiring tomorrow if you travel by car, right?”

“Get lost, right now.”

“Okay, okay.”

Leaving Ye-eun, who had reverted to the Seo Jia I knew the moment I stroked her hair, I carefully pushed the door open and headed back to my own empty futon.

But….

“Wow… you two are close.”

…In the short time I was gone.

Seeing Haeun hugging Hinami instead of me, seeking her warmth, I…

I carefully approached Haeun from behind, slipped my hand inside her yukata, tucked it under her breasts, and stole her warmth instead of Hinami’s.

She, who sometimes seemed more naive than her own sister, who was six years younger…

Suddenly seemed adorable.

**

“….”

The worst morning.

The breakfast food was delicious, but I couldn’t possibly meet the eyes of the staff serving it.

Soaking in the hot springs in the morning was quite pleasant, but hearing my unnie making ‘ang-ang’ noises through the door was seriously unpleasant.

Moreover, having to wear the camera containing the footage of me being horribly violated around my neck, and riding in the back seat with a woman who was practically an accomplice, only for us to be dropped off at the same place, was unbearable.

Not getting off wouldn’t change the fact that two more accomplices would just be added.

What was more unpleasant than that…

Was the fact that from here on, I had to ‘act’ again.

“Jia-ya, Jia-ya. Look here.”

“…Yeah.”

“This flower is pretty! Do you know what kind it is?”

“I don’t.”

“If you don’t know, look it up.”

“I’m holding the camera, you know?”

“Oops, sorry. Ehehe.”

…With a woman who was pointlessly cheerful and radiant.

Today, I had to pretend to be ‘friends’ again.

Of course, we are friends….

But her behavior was so different from how she acted around him, that every single one of her actions seemed like pure pretense.

“Want to eat lunch over there? That ramen looks delicious.”

“…I’ll gain weight. No.”

“Aww, what belly fat do you have?”

“Hey, no. Stop it…!”

Even though I deliberately wore a loose top that covered my hips, her playful act of lifting it to expose my belly button was incredibly irritating.

…She knew damn well I had a tattoo right on my lower stomach.

For a moment, I even felt the urge to turn off the recording and play the video of that bitch having sex, but unfortunately, this camera only contained footage of me being violated.

…Even Kang Joo-hyuk, who handed over the camera – saying it had good quality and I could borrow it – was annoying.

“Ahaha, seriously. It’s fun teasing Jia. That’s our maknae for you.”

“We’re only a month apart, you know?”

“Uh-uh. That doesn’t apply in Korea. If the year is different, I’m the older one.”

“But we’re in Japan.”

“Hmm…, so will you call me ‘unnie’ when we get back?”

“…No.”

“See? You will.”

It bothered me that I was completely caught up in Hinami’s pace, filming what looked like a plausible vlog.

People would see this and think we were just groupmates having cute, harmless fun, haha-hoho.

Thinking they would consume us according to their own tastes without knowing the stories hidden within, my already worn-out conscience twinged.

I couldn’t lift my head at all, so I just kept filming Hinami, staring at the camera.

“Ehh….”

From far away.

A group of high school girls, who had been glancing at us furtively, hesitantly approached us,

“Um….”

“Hm? Do you know me?”

“Hinami-chan…?”

“Yeah…, yeah.”

“…!”

The tallest girl among them stepped forward and spoke towards Hinami.

As soon as Hinami nodded, the group of high school girls suddenly started freaking out, shouting noisily, ‘Kya-yak, kya-yak!’

…Hmph.

I could vaguely guess what they were babbling in Japanese, and it was annoying.

But no matter what feelings I harbored towards them, I couldn’t treat them coldly due to my profession.

After giving autographs one by one to the girls squealing so loudly it hurt my ears, and even offering a word of blessing in Japanese,

“What cute kids.”

“….”

Unlike Hinami, who was smiling happily,

I just crouched down right there on the street, buried my face in my hands, and let out a long sigh.

…Wearing a camera containing a sex video around my neck, while giving autographs to clueless high school girls.

It was more than I could bear.

My conscience was being pricked.

I feel like I’m going to puke.

Seriously….