21. Conflict (1)

It wasn’t until I returned from the trading company to the Fairy’s Playground that I could finally open my eyes.

Then, with a dazed mind, I slowly began retracing the situation.

“Ugh…”

“Are you okay?”

Jane’s voice gently stroking my hair sounded genuinely affectionate.

But after organizing my memories, I immediately declared to her:

“Let’s use separate rooms!”

“We weren’t sleeping together anyway.”

“Don’t nitpick my words!”

Leaving a sulky Jane behind, I headed toward Marie’s room, who was standing there bewildered without understanding the situation.

And from the next day onward, I truly began keeping my distance from Master.

I stopped going to wake her early in the morning and ate meals separately in my own room.

I’d sneak out of my room only after Jane went down to the laboratory, carefully avoiding overlapping schedules.

Yet there were times when I inevitably had to face Jane.

During training sessions.

After loudly stomping my feet to express my displeasure, I entered the laboratory.

Master greeted me with the same expression as always.

“Ah, Lily’s here?”

Of course, I didn’t respond.

But Jane, showing no sign of being offended, held something out to me.

A neatly folded white paper note.

“Here, today’s portion.”

Careful not to touch her hand, I cautiously took just the note.

Then I glanced sideways at Master’s reaction.

Wait, why am I checking her reaction?

“Don’t need any help?”

Jane’s concern clearly reached my ears.

But I turned away sharply and walked to my spot.

-Rustle rustle

When I unfolded the note, a small amount of pure white powder greeted me.

Pouting my lips, I poured the powder in a straight line onto the empty metal tray.

“The amount…”

“You seem quite adjusted, so I increased it a bit. If it’s still too much, you can do just half.”

I was slightly surprised by the larger quantity compared to yesterday.

But hearing Jane’s explanation sparked my competitive spirit, and I immediately rolled up the paper I was holding.

“Hngh!”

As I inhaled sharply, the powder on the tray passed through my nostrils into my nasal cavity.

The stinging sensation, like water had entered, made me pinch my nose as tears welled up.

And then

“Hoo, haa. Hoo, haa… Ugh.”

After taking a couple of breaths, the drug’s effects began to manifest.

A throbbing, burning sensation inside my head.

A gradually spreading heat throughout my entire body.

“Aaah, hng.”

“Lily, let me hold your hand.”

The sudden sensory changes brought on dizziness.

But I slapped Jane’s hand away.

“Hng, hngg.”

My field of vision expanded broadly, and the world appeared sharper than usual.

My heartbeat pounded fiercely, and vitality began coursing through my entire body.

A sense of confidence that I could accomplish anything.

The euphoric feeling of heightened awareness and lightness in my body.

“Ah, haa♡”

Exactly like a drug – no, the drug I’d inhaled was none other than Mandy’s pollen.

Every part of the mandrake – flowers, roots, leaves – contains this poison, but

especially its pollen is the most toxic.

And Mandy’s pollen that I inhaled was even more special.

Perhaps because she survived not on her staple diet of virgin’s nectar but on mine, the effects were unusually strong.

“Hng…”

Though highly addictive with severe withdrawal symptoms making it impossible for ordinary people to handle,

for me who’d frequently experienced it based on abilities Jane had implanted, it wasn’t particularly problematic.

“Haa……♡”

I exhaled a long, hot breath.

The sticky, feverish body began cooling down bit by bit.

Mandy’s pollen is a poison difficult to use on others.

While it does have aphrodisiac effects, these are secondary – its primary effect is stimulation.

The groundless confidence and euphoria I felt were precisely the effects of Mandy’s pollen.

Yet there was a reason I deliberately inhaled the pollen.

Because Mandy’s pollen contains essential components needed to synthesize poison within my body.

The damp underwear was slightly uncomfortable, but that was all.

“Good work.”

Jane spoke to me after I’d processed the drug in just minutes.

But I sharply turned my head away and left the laboratory.

-Click

As the door closed behind me, I heard a very small sigh.

***

“Agh.”

Jane and I have fought quite frequently until now.

Considering we haven’t even known each other for a full year, it’s surprising how often we’ve clashed.

“Oh wait.”

Come to think of it, it hasn’t even been a year yet…

I suddenly felt a renewed sense of emotion.

Actually, saying we “fought” is just my one-sided perspective.

The truth is that I’m the one sulking and unilaterally distancing myself from Jane.

“No, Jane was definitely in the wrong.”

Filling my mouth with something disgusting and sticky while pressuring me to answer,

then threatening punishment because I swallowed it.

“Ugh, thinking about it makes me angrier.”

If she was going to torment me like that in a public hallway, she should have stopped there.

What kind of nonsense is it to pressure me about lying and impose additional punishment?

My clenched fist trembled with nowhere to direct its anger.

Eventually, I ended up pounding the pillow I was holding.

Even now, thinking about that ridiculously long dildo being inserted into my butt makes me feel like I’ll lose my mind.

It was longer than my forearm – no, longer than my sitting height.

“How did that even… Hng♡”

Th-this isn’t what I meant.

As my past self – as the 26-year-old man I used to be – this line of thinking would have been impossible.

While ruminating on my anger, I was suddenly confronted with a creeping sense of self-loathing.

“Sigh, life.”

When problems arise and accidents happen, anger can surge to the boiling point.

Emotional changes in response to external circumstances are natural.

My past self would have immediately calculated the extent of the damage and considered appropriate compensation.

But the current me – Maylily of this world – couldn’t do that.

I just sulked like a little girl throwing a tantrum.

Not making eye contact but huffing and puffing visibly to make my displeasure obvious.

“How pathetic.”

One year – short yet long – has completely consumed my past self.

I felt slightly melancholy.

Actually, I’m not sad.

It just means Jane – Master – has grown that much more important to me.

“Sniff.”

I pointlessly rubbed at the dark stain spreading on the pillow.

Of course, it wouldn’t come off.

I wanted to resolve this frustrating situation.

But I didn’t want to apologize first.

“Why should I apologize first? Master was the one who did wrong?”

To be fair, Jane did apologize to me and ask for forgiveness.

But still.

My feelings haven’t settled yet.

“Ugh, whatever.”

It’ll work out somehow.

***

I distinctly remember vowing to write daily in the past, but

it feels a bit awkward writing in my diary after so long.

Hello, it’s Marie.

Lily once told me:

No matter how determined you are, most resolutions don’t last three days.

That describes me perfectly.

Still, I’ve picked up this pencil despite the hassle for a reason.

Lately, the atmosphere at the shop has been really unpleasant.

It’s become unbearably bleak.

Sitting quietly and trying to read the room just makes me sigh deeply.

My mouth feels dry and gritty, like chewing sand.

It all started the day the boss carried an unconscious Lily back.

When Lily woke up that day, for reasons unknown, she unleashed her anger on the boss.

And now two weeks have already passed.

But Lily still won’t speak to the boss.

What on earth happened during that company inspection?

Though we can probably guess.

The boss must have played some mean prank on Lily.

Lily keeps avoiding the boss while subtly showing she’s sulking.

And the boss seems at a loss about how to handle Lily.

What did I do to get caught in the middle of this?

I recall a phrase Lily often says:

Life is really…

Anyway, something creepy happened at dinner tonight too.

Dinner used to be warm and lively, but these days it’s just heavy silence.

Lily left the table immediately after eating.

Then the boss called me.

“Marie.”

With a face even bleaker and colder than the shop’s atmosphere.

Actually, Lily once told me that’s just the boss’s neutral expression when not in a bad mood.

I have no way of telling the difference.

Anyway, the boss – a noble and archmage – called for me,

so I answered nervously.

“Yes, you called, boss?”

My face must have been stiffer than hardtack at that moment.

But when the boss asked her next question, I thought I’d misheard.

“Isn’t sulky Lily honestly cute?”

I dared to think:

‘Oh, this person is already a lost cause.’

The boss was enjoying even Lily’s stony expressions.

And calmly listed all the ways Lily was adorable.

I suddenly felt sorry for Lily who had retreated to her room earlier.

It seems Lily will need more time before her anger subsides.

I didn’t intend to insult the boss, but somehow it came out this way.

Since she wouldn’t be interested in my diary anyway, this much should be forgivable.

Hmm… thinking about it now, Lily might share some blame too.

To be honest, I can somewhat understand the boss’s perspective.

Lily’s expressions are so vivid that her reactions are delightful.

It makes you want to poke at her just to see her react – that kind of bad impulse.

I guess this is what they call sadism?

Thinking this way makes me feel like I’m already a lost cause too.

I feel bad for Lily.

If I keep writing down these bad thoughts, they might grow even stronger.

I’ll stop here.

I’ll write again tomorrow.

Or at least I’d like to say that, but tomorrow’s me will know better.

Anyway, goodbye.

-Marie of Londinium, employee at Fairy’s Playground-