191. Filming (3)

The Seo Jia I know would never do something like this.

She was annoyingly upright to the point of being bothersome, a narcissist who didn’t even care about others.

She always said she had to repay her fans’ love, but she was never someone bothered by attention from others.

Seeing her suddenly secretly upload photos like this was beyond baffling, it was downright absurd.

“…What’s gotten into her all of a sudden?”

“I don’t know either. I suspect it might be stress.”

At first, I naturally assumed Oppa had ordered her to do it, but the way he answered made it seem like she’d done it entirely on her own.

Should I call this exhibitionism…?

Though, calling it that felt wrong since she wasn’t exactly stripping openly.

It was just photos with her face blurred, emphasizing the curves of her body.

Plus, there was something slightly off about them, so they weren’t overtly lewd photos.

It was just that her body itself was suggestive.

“Did you ask Jia?”

“I haven’t gone within a meter of her since the news broke. I found out by chance too. When I DM’d her, she told me to mind my own business, so I couldn’t push it.”

“I see…”

Honestly, I felt it was quite risky seeing those tweets.

Of course, ordinary people wouldn’t know, but for someone like me or Oppa, who knew her well, the photos were enough to make us jump.

Of course, since Jia hasn’t revealed her home yet, there’s almost no chance her fans would figure it out.

Especially after she suffered recently from baseless rumors, I was a little worried about why she’d do something that could easily give people ammunition.

…Though I guess I have no right to say that, sneaking into Oppa’s place at this hour.

“…What are you planning to do?”

“Well. Maybe she’ll stop on her own if she keeps doing it. …I doubt she’ll show her breasts, though.”

“Mmm, I suppose so?”

“If I add anything and she gets stressed and goes off the rails, it’ll be trouble for me too. …And I also had this thought: If we criticize her for this, she’ll gain the right to criticize us, so maybe she’s doing it on purpose.”

As Oppa said, we had no right to stop Jia from relieving her stress through her own body.

Uploading lewd photos on Twitter after removing any identifying elements,

Or filming lewd videos filled with identifying elements for personal collection.

Both are forms of transgression, and the difference isn’t that significant.

Actually, the much riskier party is us.

Jia might be fine even if those photos circulate online,

But the moment the videos Oppa and I filmed get leaked online, it’s basically a social death sentence.

Oppa might be okay, but I definitely couldn’t live in Korea.

“Okay then… I understand. …I’ll casually ask her later.”

“Alright. If you can reconcile while you’re at it, do that too.”

“She needs to make amends for me to accept it. …If she just acknowledges my relationship with Oppa, I’m willing to accept anything she does.”

“…You handle it. It’s awkward for me to say anything about your emotional conflict.”

However, there was a huge wall between me, who committed a transgression out of love for Oppa, and Jia, who was merely acting out due to stress.

I wouldn’t do something if Oppa told me not to, but Jia wouldn’t listen to anyone telling her to stop.

I couldn’t even understand why she was acting like this in the first place, so how could I possibly stop her?

With all the money she had, she must have had plenty of ways to relieve stress, so why did she choose to secretly upload lewd photos?

Was she afraid of gaining weight if she ate her stress away?

Was she worried about damaging her throat if she sang her stress away?

Or maybe she could have just dated someone.

If not that, and she just had pent-up sexual desire, couldn’t she just masturbate?

I couldn’t be satisfied with that after knowing Oppa, but her…?

Ah.

…Once she’d had a dick in her mouth, maybe nothing else could satisfy her?

I haven’t rummaged through Jia’s place, so I don’t know for sure, but naturally, as a woman, she’d masturbate and probably have a toy or two.

“Anyway… Well. Let’s head to the room for now. We don’t want to wake anyone, so let’s go to the soundproof booth.”

“Okay.”

Since I lost interest in toys after experiencing Oppa, my guess that Jia might be transgressing for similar reasons seemed plausible.

Not meeting men made even more sense.

Being prim and proper might be an excuse she could no longer use, but claiming she couldn’t meet men because of Oppa was still a viable excuse.

In reality, it’s probably because seeing Oppa’s body makes other men look like anchovies, rendering them sexually unattractive, but thinking in Jia’s terms, she had plenty of excuses.

An excuse like, ‘If I date another guy, Oppa will get angry and rape me.’

It sounded incredibly plausible, almost realistic.

That’s probably why she’s uploading lewd photos on Twitter, releasing her pent-up sexual urges.

And meanwhile, she’s secretly a coward, unable to just bare her breasts completely.

“Should I take off my clothes? …Or should I keep them on?”

“…Turn on the light first.”

Unlike Jia, I had already taken off most of my shirt. I turned on the softly glowing stand lamp and sat demurely on the bed, waiting for Oppa.

…She’d be so much more comfortable if she accepted things like I do.

A thrill far more exhilarating than the suspense of potentially being discovered.

It seemed pitiful that she didn’t know the electrifying feeling of being held by someone you love.

Imagining her alone at home, just touching herself, seemed utterly miserable.

Well, I was like that until yesterday, too.

“Stay still.”

“Okay.”

Oppa closed the soundproof booth door, climbed onto the softly lit bed, pushed aside my unbuttoned shirt, and traced my shoulder with his finger.

I reflexively got goosebumps and he chuckled softly, then traced his index finger from my collarbone down between my breasts, snapping my bra hook with a ‘tuk’.

The front hook sprang open, letting the cups dangle loosely. Oppa swept the bothersome piece of fabric behind my back, then spun his finger around my nipple before laying me down on the pillow.

“…Don’t you think it’s dangerous?”

“Huh? Me?”

“Coming here. Doing this with me. All of it combined.”

“I do think about it…”

“Which means you don’t. …You don’t really think it’s dangerous, do you, honestly?”

As I slowly melted under Oppa’s touch, which I hadn’t felt in a while, his deep voice reaching my eardrums pulled me momentarily out of the steamy atmosphere.

That what we were doing here, right now, was incredibly dangerous.

Thinking about what I did to shake off the reporters, it was something I shouldn’t have forgotten.

“Well… I can’t help it. …I haven’t seen Oppa in a while, and I’m a little drunk.”

“I’m in a similar state. …But you have much more to lose, so I’m trying to stay sane, at least.”

“For someone trying to stay sane, you seem pretty eager…?”

“That can’t be helped. Whether we do it or not, what people think won’t change, right?”

He wasn’t wrong.

Whether I secretly came to Oppa’s house, spent a wholesome night, played games, and left.

Or rolled around intimately on the bed like now.

…Or engaged in all sorts of acts and even recorded them.

To outsiders, there was absolutely no way to tell the difference.

“That’s why I’m a bit worried about what she was doing earlier. …If that gets exposed, then what you and I did won’t seem like just rumors anymore.”

“Hey, what does Jia doing that have to do with me…”

“It has to do with it. Your name came up too after the article broke.”

“That didn’t become a big issue, though?”

“That’s only in places where you can get sued for speaking carelessly. …On anonymous sites, they were talking plenty. Do you know how many rumors there were about you and Seo Jia actually being lesbians, luring a good-looking guy for a threesome?”

Similarly, the baseless rumors Oppa was spouting were the same.

The moment Jia’s secret account activities, similar to lewd activities, were exposed, baseless rumors would gain credibility.

The logic would be, ‘She’s a slut anyway, what wouldn’t she do?’

…Besides, if you think about it, maybe they aren’t rumors.

We have shared the same bed and sucked the same dick.

Though we never did lesbian play.

“That’s why I’m so fucking anxious. It’s similar to why I couldn’t meet you earlier. …Honestly, what we’ve done is dangerous, but I feel like we’ll hear even worse rumors.”

“What kind of rumors?”

“Like… that you’re a slut. Or that you got pregnant and had an abortion. Or that you’re on drugs and having orgies… Those kinds of truly baseless rumors could spread, right? If a scandal breaks, quite a few people will believe them.”

“…As long as Oppa believes me, I don’t really care.”

“If you really didn’t care, would you release it now? …Without even calling reporters, just upload any of the videos we have onto a porn site, and it’ll get released automatically.”

“You’re joking, right?”

“Of course, I’m joking. Would I mean it seriously?”

Because of that, I could somewhat understand Oppa’s anxiety even as he held me.

He was worried that I, standing on thin ice, might fall into the water at any moment.

…Even though he wasn’t afraid at all when he first touched me.

Placing my hand on Oppa’s cheek, who seemed fearful now that he had me, I whispered softly in his ear.

“…It’s okay even if it’s not a joke.”

“Hey.”

“Why? I might get pointed fingers and it’ll be hard to live openly in Korea… but that’s it, right? I have plenty of money anyway. Did you really plan to discard me if I quit being an idol?”

“That’s not it.”

“That’s all I need. …Don’t worry too much. Jia is probably just doing it out of annoyance, and I know better than anyone that she’s a coward. She won’t do anything more dangerous.”

“…Alright.”

“Oppa, you’re much cooler when you act than when you hesitate, so don’t worry unnecessarily. …If you were always like that, I wouldn’t have fallen for you.”

Recalling the look in Oppa’s eyes that I fell for.

Gazing into his eyes, a mix of tenderness and ferocity.

I closed my eyes tightly, waiting for him to devour me wildly.

…If we weren’t inside the soundproof booth.

Wishing he’d have sex so crudely that even the paparazzi, who must be heading home by now, could hear it.

**

…I’m bored.

Watching people make all sorts of judgments and sexual harassment comments just over body photos was starting to get boring.

Actually, it feels like there are more curses now.

Why are so many people cursing, asking when I’ll show my breasts?

What’s so great about those bumpy protrusions that aren’t even that pretty.

“Haa…”

Feeling that everything was pathetic, I deleted the entire account.

This is the end.

My transgressions would all sink beneath the surface and drift in the sea like trash.

Feeling the thrill of secretly throwing trash on the ground while walking down the street, I turned off Twitter, searched my name online, and looked at the posts with a hardened expression.

The sexually harassing comments, which no longer even registered as hate comments.

‘Big breasts, I want to touch them.’

This level didn’t even evoke a reaction anymore.

Because the vulgar things I’d heard over the past few weeks were too varied.

Instead, I copied those ridiculous comments, grabbed my breasts tightly over my clothes, and took a selfie where my face wasn’t visible.

“…”

…Should I upload this and then delete it?

With a sudden thought, I randomly typed in an ID, created an account, and uploaded a picture of ‘Seo Jia’s breasts’ tightly gripped, something all sorts of men desired.

Unfortunately, this time, no one discovered the photo; it was buried in the flood of information.

…See?

Actually, nobody cares about me.