18. The Road Not Taken (6)

Opening the door, I saw a cascade of shimmering silver hair first.

She was turned away from the entrance, her shoulders shaking with quiet sobs.

My heart pounded.

I thought we were close enough already, but it seemed there was still a long way to go between us.

Why hadn’t I understood her feelings?

Saying it was because I couldn’t focus solely on Seo Juha… that would just be an excuse.

The fact that she had worried alone and reached a conclusion close to resignation was ultimately my fault.

If only my abilities were a little stronger.

If only I had the power to embrace all the heroines.

And if only I had reached out to her a little sooner.

But it wasn’t too late yet.

Unlike last time, she wasn’t running away today.

Seo Juha wanted me to come to her now.

I could instinctively feel that.

“Juha-ya.”

Her faint sobbing stopped.

I placed my hand on her lightly trembling shoulder, and she cautiously turned her head.

“…W-Why?”

Unlike in the shadow world, where she could control herself as she wished, in reality, she was still shedding tears like raindrops.

I’ve become a man who can make a woman cry… I’m all grown up now, Lee Jihoo.

“You want me to erase the painful memories?”

“…”

“Okay. If I find a way, I’ll definitely tell you then.”

I made up my mind.

Someday, I would use one of the two tickets on her.

But before that, there was something I absolutely had to say.

“But before that, there’s one thing I want to ask.”

“…What is it?”

“Don’t distance yourself from me anymore.”

Just a 1cm gap.

We were running parallel lines with such a tiny gap between us.

A distance that seemed like we could touch at any moment, but we never could.

Juha was asking me.

If I couldn’t look only at her, then she would step back, so please just come a little closer.

Even if it was just one step towards her, instead of towards someone else.

But I couldn’t even allow that.

Even knowing it was selfish, I asked her not to distance herself.

If Seo Juha’s heart could lean towards me even a little.

If our endless parallel lines could meet at a single point.

I spoke to her with that small selfishness and hope.

“…You idiot.”

The expression that looked like she would disappear at any moment was slowly changing.

“You should have… You should have told me sooner…!”

The tears that had stopped were flowing down her cheeks again.

As I panicked, not knowing what to do, she rushed into my arms.

“I wanted to hear those words so much… hic, you idiot… you idiot…”

Just like last time, the responsibility I carried was too great to focus on just one person.

Of course, it would be nearly impossible for me to only look at Seo Juha in the future.

Juha probably knew that too, and that’s why she said that to me.

But I couldn’t just leave her alone.

I should have taken the first step, but in the past, I didn’t have the strength to call out to her as she left.

So I decided to say it today.

Yes, I think I’ve finally made up my mind properly.

What to say to Juha, how to look at her. I finally knew.

“Juha-ya.”

“…Yeah.”

“Like I said last time… I can’t always look only at you. You’re a very precious person to me too, but I have more people to protect, so there are more things I need to pay attention to.”

I can’t say that I always do my best for all the heroines.

Of course, I don’t have the ability to do that.

“So… You’re telling me not to distance myself, but you’re going to pay attention to other girls…?”

But.

“But, I’ll make every moment you’re by my side happy.”

I do my best to make sure the heroines are no longer unhappy.

That’s my way.

“From now on, don’t worry alone when things are tough, let’s talk and comfort each other, and when we’re happy, let’s laugh together and share the joy.”

So, I convey my true feelings.

I pour out all the feelings I couldn’t convey last time.

“And if a crisis comes to you, I’ll be the first to run to you. So… don’t distance yourself anymore.”

In the near future, the mad slaughter created by the animosity towards the demons.

I will definitely protect Seo Juha in that.

So that she doesn’t suffer from the changed development caused by me.

I wouldn’t have touched it if I couldn’t take responsibility.

That’s how it was with Hayul and Sura-sunbae, and that’s how it will be with Juha and Rei.

…I don’t like seeing heroines sad in front of me.

In the end, the goal is set.

To make Seo Juha happy, and to completely cut off the fragments of the past tied to Rei.

It was a simple and clear goal.

“And if, even in such happy moments, painful memories still come to mind… then I’ll use my ability to erase that pain.”

The ticket? Of course, I’ll use it.

But I will never use it with a feeling of giving up.

If there is pain that remains even after doing my best until the very end, then I will tear the ticket only then.

I gently stroked Juha’s back, which was buried in my arms.

It’s warm. That fact alone was enough.

We hugged each other in the same position for a long time.

---

“Are you feeling a little better now?”

“Yeah… I cried again like an idiot.”

Juha wiped away her tears with her slender hand.

Her eyes were already droopy, so she still looked like she was about to cry.

Come to think of it, I had something to tell Juha.

To take Seo Juha on the infiltration operation a week later… I don’t know what the intention is, but I was sure that it wouldn’t harm me at least.

I couldn’t even bring up the topic because of her sudden confession and crying, but now that she seemed to have calmed down a bit, I should try to talk to her.

“Juha-ya. There’s something I need your help with… Are you free next Sunday?”

“…Sunday? I’m free, but… H-Hey… Is it a… a date or something…? No, never mind…?”

Seeing Juha with a flushed face instead of tears because of her inflated imagination, I felt like I had become a really bad guy.

I wanted to go back and tell her the request later, but… the timing was ambiguous unless it was now.

“Uh… It’s not a date, but… if you’re okay with it, we can go on a date after next week…! Anyway… it’s something that can’t be done without you, so I think I absolutely need your help.”

I told Juha about the infiltration operation in general.

I explained step by step about the information that Cyan would invade on Sunday, and how Rei was involved in it, and Juha seemed to understand.

“But, shadow movement is something that… a succubus can do too, right…? Well, it’s nice that Jihoo needs me… hehe. Okay, I understand. You said Sunday, right…? I’ll practice a little more until then. Just in case that succubus can’t move.”

“Thank you, Juha-ya. Let’s definitely go on a date when it’s over… really. Let’s eat delicious food, talk while taking a walk, and do a lot of… that, together in bed.”

Her heart for me was so obvious that I kept getting touched.

I hugged Juha, saying words of gratitude that I wouldn’t regret saying several times.

I could vividly feel Juha’s soft skin through her clothes.

I slowly pressed my lips to hers as she let out a flushed breath.

The taste of her soft and moist lips was a deep, dark purple.

We continued a humid kiss, comforting and caring for each other, for a long time.

“Hoo…”

When I took my lips off, she was no longer making a sad expression.

Juha, who smiled bashfully, muttered something quietly and soon took a small box out of the shadows and handed it to me.

“Here. This is a gift.”

It was a box decorated with black wrapping paper and a black ribbon, giving it a somehow elegant feeling.

A gift all of a sudden… I was a little embarrassed, but I couldn’t let her keep holding it, so I took the box.

“I wasn’t going to give it to you if you said anything wrong… I’m giving it to you because I’m not mad anymore.”

“Uh… What is it?”

“Hehe, if you’re curious… open it when you get home. Don’t ever open it here.”

Why is she smiling so brightly?

Seeing Juha smiling brightly as if she had never cried, I felt somehow uneasy.

After that, we talked for a while and I left her house.

I wanted to sleep with Juha, but I was already exhausted… and I was also curious about Juha’s gift.

It was about 30cm in both length and width, quite a large box, but it was as light as if nothing was inside.

Judging from the rattling sound when I carefully shook it, there was something inside… but I didn’t know what was inside, so I had to open it at home as Juha said.

It was almost sunset.

When I arrived home with tired steps, the dim house welcomed me.

“She’s not here yet.”

How long does she have to shop to not be back yet…?

I was thinking positively that it was an opportunity for the two of them to get closer… but if I had been dragged there, I would have collapsed from exhaustion.

Anyway, it’s good that no one is here.

I carefully picked up the black box in front of me.

“I didn’t know my heart could beat like this even at this age…”

Juha gave me a gift for me.

My heart was pounding so hard that I couldn’t stand it.

I untied the black ribbon around the box and immediately opened it.

“Huh…?”

What was inside the box was something I didn’t expect at all.

To put it elegantly, a male masturbation device.

To put it vulgarly… an onahole.

The black onahole, which shone with a luxurious luster under the light, was nestled neatly in the box.