123. Promise

A quiet pension with no one around.

There had been the sizzling sound of meat grilling earlier, but now the only sound was the wind blowing.

Waiting endlessly like this, I lie on the bed and count the specks of dust stuck to the ceiling.

…I have to go to work again starting tomorrow.

It’s annoying.

If it were up to me, I’d want to stay home all the time.

But they say sales drop if I don’t go out…

Maybe if I grow my YouTube channel more and do well.

So that he and I can be comfortable like before…

‘I’m back.’

Just as I was lost in such unproductive thoughts.

He returned.

Flutter, flutter.

Holding a plastic bag in his hand.

‘What, you said you were sleeping.’

‘…What about the ice cream?’

‘Here.’

‘It hasn’t melted.’

‘I bought it nearby.’

Even if it’s nearby, it would take more than 10 minutes.

Worried it might melt, I take the melon-flavored ice cream that was wedged between the ice cups.

Peeling off the wrapper, I find ice cream that’s slightly softened and perfect for eating.

Taking a bite of it, savoring the sweetness.

I offer the ice cream I just bit into to him, who’s blankly staring at me while holding the bag.

‘…You eat some too.’

‘I bought my own separately.’

‘Ah, really. …Just eat it.’

Whether he’s perceptive or not.

I force the ice cream towards him, who keeps changing the subject, and make him share a bite.

After he takes a bite, I put the remaining ice cream entirely into my mouth.

Together, the two of us.

Enjoy the cold sweetness.

‘…It’s delicious.’

‘Yeah.’

As he says that, he takes an ice cup from the bag and pours the coffee he bought separately.

Holding the black americano in his mouth, washing away the remaining sweet taste.

He sits on the bed where I was just lying.

Staring intently at me, he pats the spot next to him, tap, tap.

‘…Are you horny again?’

‘No, are you crazy? Me?’

‘Kang Joo-hyuk, you haven’t gone crazy just once or twice.’

‘Not today.’

…He says that, but he’ll pounce the moment I take off my clothes anyway.

I know for sure he’ll try to add another ‘一’ next to the ‘正’ already carved into my side chest.

Because that’s the kind of man you are.

‘So, what is it?’

‘It’s not like I have something I want to say, just…’

‘…’

Pretending otherwise for no reason.

Pretending to be sweet.

Sitting next to him, pretending to be cool, I quietly listen to his breathing.

…Sigh.

If the me from half a year ago saw me now, what would I think?

I’d probably tremble, thinking, ‘That’s not me.’

‘How can you be with a guy like this?’

‘How can you film that kind of YouTube stuff?’

I think I’d get angry like that.

‘…Haeun-ah.’

‘Ah, yeah?’

‘I’ve been getting a lot of emails asking you to do ads, what should we do?’

‘Ads?’

‘Yeah. On YouTube.’

‘Weren’t those spam emails?’

‘There are real ones too. Think about your views. Wouldn’t you get those kinds of contacts?’

‘…Really?’

So.

This reality is even harder to accept.

Just because I wore slightly revealing clothes and played the guitar, getting views of 100,000 or 200,000.

That people are asking me for ads even though I haven’t shown my face.

…Ah, now that I think about it.

I did get those kinds of contacts back when I had my Instagram public.

I blocked them all, thinking they were scams.

Maybe,

Not much has changed from back then to now.

‘Well, I think it’s a bit awkward to put ads on a guitar channel, so it’s probably better not to accept them.’

‘…If you say so, I’ll do that.’

‘Or maybe starting a new channel altogether is fine too. Like fitness content, or lookbooks. ASMR is getting good views lately too.’

‘…Does that show your face?’

‘That’s your choice.’

‘I don’t care as long as it doesn’t show my face. …As long as it doesn’t take too much time.’

I originally.

Was this kind of person.

If someone pushed me, I’d be pulled along.

Always in a supporting role.

Declining even if offered the leading position for free.

Such a timid woman.

…Sometimes I think that.

Whether it was singing, being an idol, or anything else.

Even if I had succeeded.

I wonder if I wouldn’t have been the kind of woman who could stand center stage.

‘Then, I’ll think about it some more. If I were to make another one, I’d use a different name and pretend to be a completely different person.’

‘Why?’

‘People who meticulously investigate whether it’s the same person will automatically do some noise marketing for us.’

‘…I see.’

I myself haven’t changed.

What has changed is.

…Only that.

‘Well, I think I’ll be found out quickly anyway… If I’m found out, it’ll just be publicity.’

‘Why. …Because my breasts are big?’

‘Do I really have to say that?’

‘Pfft…, whyyy. You can guess who I am just by looking at my breasts, right?’

‘I can guess, sure.’

‘…Then want to touch and guess?’

‘…’

I was always this kind of woman.

I wanted to be loved.

I wanted attention.

It’s just that no one gave it to me.

From those who only targeted my body, I couldn’t feel any affection.

Because he was the first person to target me, the woman myself.

‘…How is it. Joo-hyuk-ah. You touch these breasts every day.’

‘I don’t think much of it.’

Of course… it might be because my breasts are big.

If it were only that, Kang Joo-hyuk wouldn’t desire me this much, right?

The reason he’s obsessed with me is.

‘You’re breathing heavily for someone who doesn’t think much of it?’

‘It’s because I drank coffee.’

‘Your excuses are long.’

…Because I am.

Seo Haeun.

The daughter of the Director who kicked Kang Joo-hyuk out.

Because at one time, he hated me.

Maybe even now.

A little bit.

‘…’

Before I knew it.

Coming behind my back.

I feel his breath on my neck as he rubs my breasts, rub, rub.

Hot, humid breath.

After violating me so thoroughly.

Still getting excited over me.

A foolish man.

‘…Joo-hyuk-ah.’

‘Why.’

‘…Master.’

‘…’

…Even just one word of affection.

His breathing becoming noticeably rough.

An honest man.

‘What did you two talk about while taking her back…yo?’

‘…She asked me to marry her.’

‘…A joke?’

‘Seriously.’

Unnecessarily.

Even things that didn’t need to be said.

He tells me honestly.

…Idiot.

‘What did you answer?’

‘I said no.’

‘…Did she give up because of that?’

‘No.’

‘Then, …after that.’

‘…She asked me to get her pregnant after the contract ends.’

‘…’

Like someone living in a fantasy.

An undeservedly happy man.

‘…You didn’t refuse that, did you.’

‘How could I refuse that.’

‘You could have just said you refused, you idiot…’

‘Why would I lie to you?’

While stroking my breasts.

Even after pinning me down like that all day today.

Still an excited pervert.

Insisting.

Held in your arms that don’t lie.

‘…You lied. All this time. A lot.’

‘It’s different now than it was then.’

‘What’s different?’

‘Back then… I didn’t like you much.’

‘…Then now?’

‘…’

…Only at times like this.

Firmly.

Closing my mouth.

Held by you who just stares at me.

‘…If that’s the case, why don’t you just marry her? She’s young, rich. …Pretty. And her breasts are big enough for you to like, right?’

‘I don’t want to.’

‘Why.’

‘I just hate it if I hate it. No reason. …Just like you.’

‘…What about me.’

‘Why do you like me?’

‘…’

Only at times like this.

Even I can’t understand.

My feelings.

To you who forces them out.

‘…Why do you like me. This piece of shit rapist bastard.’

‘…’

‘You’re a playboy. A guy who gets horny for other women and has sex with them. …Can’t you just toss me aside?’

I.

Bite my lips tightly.

With an expression even I can’t understand.

Looking at him who gazes at me tenderly.

I meet his eyes.

‘…’

…Why.

Am I on a leash held by this man.

As he said.

He stole my first time through rape.

He forced his way into my house and settled in.

Made me wear revealing clothes and film YouTube videos.

Then, he pounced on me wearing those clothes, leaving behind even videos of our sex.

Even cheating with other women.

He’s trash.

‘…Take off my clothes.’

‘The answer is.’

‘Take them off. …I’ll answer.’

To such a man.

I stretch out my arms.

Asking him to take off the clothes draped on my body.

I could take them off myself, but.

Instead.

To him.

Entrusting everything.

‘…You too. Take it off.’

‘…’

Without a single thread.

Me, who became a blank white canvas.

Similarly, without a scrap of cloth.

Revealing his pitch-black inner self.

Looking at you.

‘…You said you’d answer.’

I hug him tightly.

Pressing my breasts against his torso.

Making his still stiffly erect member press against my stomach.

Laying him on the bed.

Pouncing on him.

‘I’m answering.’

…Looking down at him.

I answer with my body.

‘What.’

‘…When I see you, this happens.’

Like a dog trained by its master.

Rubbing my pussy, which gets wet just from being held.

‘…What.’

‘This happens. …My body.’

Just because my breasts were touched a little.

Rubbing my nipples, which are tautly erect even though his hands haven’t touched them.

‘…’

‘…You made me this way, you idiot.’

Right now.

I want to be fucked.

…More than him.

Because I want at least one stroke count to increase.

‘…Get me pregnant.’

‘You took your medicine, didn’t you.’

‘I know, I know… …Just do it with that intention.’

The woman named ‘Seo Haeun’, who is desperate.

To him.

Offering her whole self.

‘Haa…’

…I.

Holding his bulging cock in my hand.

Into my cervix, already ready to receive the seed,

I push his inside.

Before him.

Even a day sooner.

‘…Haeun-ah.’

‘…Why.’

‘Do you know what I promised Hinami?’

‘What is it.’

‘I told her I’d get her pregnant together after the contract ends.’

‘…’

…At least.

Not too late.

‘…When is that?’

‘About 3 years from now.’

‘Why, do I have to watch you cheat on me…?’

‘…You like it too.’

‘What…’

I,

Finally revealing my true feelings.

Holding my hips.

To him thrusting hard, boom, boom.

‘…You like a piece of shit bastard who fucks idols and gets them pregnant more than just a gym owner, don’t you.’

‘What are you saying, really…’

‘Don’t you like it?’

‘I don’t know, really… Ah…♡’

Before I knew it.

Flipping my body over.

Crushing me down.

From above, boom, boom.

To him pounding me down.

‘Hey.’

‘What…’

‘…You masochistic bitch who rejoices every time your tits are squeezed.’

‘Why, Master…♡’

‘…Seriously, you fucking bitch…’

Boom,

Boom.

…The feeling of falling, being conquered by him.

And the superiority of getting ahead of her.

Wrapped in a sense of superiority.

I hug him tightly with my whole body.

While hearing all sorts of vulgar words.

Fully.

I am violated.

…Recording it.

Enough to want to show it to her.

Stickily.

Interlocking fingers.

Each other’s pinky fingers.

Tightly.

Tying them.