114. Weakness (6)

…I wonder if my friends would believe me if I told them.

Earlier, I was a bit worked up because of baseball.

And since we unexpectedly had similar hobbies, I was a little excited, so I didn’t have time to think about it.

If I just consider what happened plainly….

I got asked for my number by an idol.

What’s up with me?

Why am I suddenly popular with women?

I don’t think anyone would believe me even if I ranted about it on Twitter, so I lie down on my bed, holding today’s events in my heart.

…Unlike her image, she was surprisingly friendly and cute.

Despite her mature appearance, she felt just like a well-behaved younger sister.

It got to the point where I wished I had a younger sister like that.

But when I thought about the terrifying and horrible things happening around that innocent child, she seemed incredibly pitiful.

The boss she thought was her older sister’s boyfriend was actually having sex with her colleague.

That’s too much, seriously.

If it were just cheating, maybe I could understand, but they were openly having a 3P without any pretense.

It was so, so scary and chilling that I plan to take this story to my grave.

…Besides, she seemed to think the boss was a decent guy.

She said he was a serious and cool person, someone her sister would fall for.

What if.

Maybe the boss would end up with Seo Jia too….

“…Ugh.”

Nah, no matter what.

Sister-sandwiching is a bit much….

My fantasy that she did all this out of spite after being kicked out was already shattered ages ago, right?

Seo Jia certainly didn’t seem like a bad person either,

Seo Haeun. I mean, the part-timer senior, is totally smitten with the boss.

The boss too….

Honestly, even now after hearing that phone call,

I think I’d think, ‘Good for them,’ if the boss married the senior.

He works hard, doesn’t drive an expensive car.

His muscles are killer, he’s good-looking, and his style is neat.

At least he treats me and the other employees well.

However.

Having a 3P with Hinami…

That would be a downside, I guess.

Honestly, it’s just something that defies common sense.

If Madam… I mean, the senior, is the same type as me, then I don’t really have anything to say, do I?

If, hypothetically, I had dated the boss.

And if Hinami-yang suggested we have sex… the three of us, I’d probably say okay too, honestly.

…Sorry, Jia, who I just got friendly with today.

There’s nothing more meddlesome than commenting on someone else’s love life.

Anyway, let’s just keep my mouth shut.

It’s not my business.

**

The holiday is over.

The schedule starts again.

Filming, filming, filming, an event, filming, filming since dawn.

I’ve reached the point where I miss my half-obligatory meeting with Hwang Soo-ah yesterday.

When I dress so discreetly, I don’t get recognized as much as I thought, which is convenient.

But when I’m working, I absolutely can’t hide myself.

But what’s much harder than this usual fatigue is.

“Good work, unnie~ Get home safe~”

“…Good work. Unnies.”

“Yeah, okay. Good work. You girls get home safe too~”

“Manager-nim, please get home safe too.”

“Ah, yes….”

…Acting like nothing happened.

Sitting next to me, politely greeting the group unnies who get out of the car first.

Treating Hinami, who’s acting all cheerful, like usual.

“…You worked hard too.”

“Yeah. Still, getting two days off after a long time makes me feel a bit energized.”

I have no idea how much she knows.

If what that guy blabbed was true, she knows I figured out the relationship between the three of them and is teasing me about it, but…

…At the very least, after sleeping with my friend’s unnie’s boyfriend.

I don’t think she’d send me those kinds of pictures.

“Haa…. Jia, what did you do yesterday?”

“…I was tired. Slept.”

“Really? I… met up with my boyfriend.”

“Hey….”

“….”

…But.

No matter how softly.

Even if she whispers quietly in my ear.

Seeing her bring this up so openly while the manager is clearly sitting in the driver’s seat.

I couldn’t easily believe her, even as a friend.

Because she’s the type who loves making my heart go thump.

“Ah. Manager oppa, please cover your ears. It’s personal stuff.”

“Yes, yes.”

Asking the person holding the steering wheel to cover his ears with such an absurd request.

As if a classmate was secretly spilling relationship gossip during break time.

“On Saturday. We met at the gym, remember? …Actually, after hanging out with your unnie for a bit then, Joo-hyuk oppa gave me a ride home from my boyfriend’s place. He’s also Haeun unnie’s boyfriend. He’s trustworthy.”

“….”

To me, who she probably thought wouldn’t understand.

…She barely said anything untrue.

Just mixed in a tiny bit of a lie.

“Anyway. So, I had a house date with my boyfriend all weekend… it was nice.”

“….”

“Yesterday, my boyfriend even cooked for me? He made curry, and it tasted similar to the curry I had in Japan, which surprised me. He’s a really good cook.”

Seeing her face, whispering excitedly and cheerfully.

…I honestly don’t know how I’m supposed to react.

How much easier would it be if I could get excited with her like a normal friend my age.

Me too,

If the other person wasn’t that guy.

…I could have taken off my idol label for a moment and empathized.

“Ah, and. Yesterday morning… after waking up… from sleeping together. We even had a morning kiss…. …It was really romantic. …More than in manga.”

“….”

I want to cover my ears.

Not my ears,

The manager’s ears in front of me.

“…And then, while lying in bed like that? We just stayed still. Holding each other.”

It’s not just her; the group unnies often talked about lewd things when it was just us, so I’m not particularly embarrassed.

But still.

The fact that an outsider might hear this kind of conversation gives me a headache.

There’s a contract, so.

Even if they hear it, the story won’t spread outside.

“Since we slept… naked before bed. …Our skin touching. Our hearts going thump, thump. …It felt incredibly good. Really.”

The scene, similar to those photos still on my phone.

…Those vulgar images gradually appearing in my head.

The very fact that it could appear in someone else’s imagination.

I hate it.

“…Ah. Is this a bit too early for pure Jia? …Should I stop talking?”

I didn’t want to know that side of my friend.

We’d lived together for at least a few years,

What kind of person she was.

What she was like.

I thought I knew everything.

…Because I knew,

It seemed more plausible.

The horrific photos seemed more realistic.

I don’t want to think about it.

“Why aren’t you answering, Jia. …If you want to hear, say you want to hear, and if you don’t, say you don’t.”

“…I don’t want to hear about other people’s love lives.”

“Wow, you’re calling me ‘other people’? Isn’t that harsh? …I have no one else to brag to but you.”

“….”

I knew Hinami was lonely. And struggling.

If not, she wouldn’t have spilled everything to me, pouring nicotine or alcohol into her mouth.

Still….

I thought she would overcome it like she always did.

Relying on that damn guy.

The more I saw Hinami seeming relieved.

I get angry.

“Jia, you haven’t met someone you like yet, have you?”

“No, nothing like that.”

“What? Does that mean you don’t even like your fans?”

“…That’s not what I meant.”

“Ehehe, just kidding, kidding.”

…It felt like she was dismissing all the memories we’ve shared as foolish.

Even the love for her fans that she recited daily,

Now sounded like just a joke.

“You should try dating too… well, maybe not dating, but love. It really changes how you see life? The world becomes incredibly sparkly.”

“…I’ll try after my contract ends.”

“Aww, that’ll be too late. There’s a kind of love you can only experience when you’re young and naive like now.”

“You talk like you know all about it.”

“Well, I’m in the middle of it? It’s a time of overflowing confidence even if I don’t know much. Kind of feels similar to when I successfully debuted?”

“….”

That time when she shone brighter than anyone,

Only to be.

Fall for that kind of guy.

Compared to now, where her light is being devoured.

…Because I hate it.

“And, I’m a year older than you. There’s the prestige that comes with a year’s experience.”

“…It’s probably 1 month.”

“Whether it’s 1 month or 1 year. Not much changes, right?”

“….”

Just as much as back then.

Her face, wanting to shine.

…I just couldn’t look at it.

If she had lost her light,

I didn’t want to see her that way.

And if she was shining,

Even while shining.

It was irritating.

…Because of that damn guy,

The very fact that she was shining.

“We’re here.”

“Ah. …Good work.”

Until the very end.

Without meeting her vibrant face.

I gave Hinami a light wave and hastily got out of the car.

“…Good work.”

“Yeah, Jia, you too~.”

…Not the friend I knew.

No longer an idol, or anything else.

Just transformed into a woman.

Clearly destined to be treated worse than the clueless older sister I used to know.

Glancing at Hinami.

As always.

Putting on a natural, forced smile.

I walk steadily towards the floor above the place where that man lives.

“….”

Now.

…The only person who contacts me privately.

Realizing it’s only that part-timer who approached me for my selfish and impure reasons.

Family.

Friends.

Clutching my phone, which has no lover.

I send a message to the contact info I got from the part-timer unnie yesterday.

Unless I erase that man from my life.

Among the people I know.

…I felt like I could never get my brightest, most sparkling friend back.

It doesn’t matter if I lose her, cry, feel sad, or suffer.

That man is drugs.

A highly effective narcotic painkiller.

…If my friend has gotten her hands on such a drug.

Helping her quit.

While she suffers from withdrawal symptoms,

Comforting her.

That’s what a friend should do.