113. Weakness (5)

Sunday.

It was a day so sunny, it was practically blinding.

…But these piece-of-shit pitchers.

On this beautiful day, who knows what they were unhappy about, but they were vomiting up all the points the bats earned.

“Ha, fuck, seriously, are they kidding me….”

A triple that pierced the first base line.

Two runners came home, and we were losing the lead again, the score now 6:7.

Seriously, what the hell kind of bullshit is this in the top of the 4th?

Why the hell doesn’t this team play the lines?

Do they have some kind of disease where they die if they get close to first base?

Unable to contain this rage alone, I was about to furiously type another string of curses on Twitter when…

“Um…, may I sit here?”

“Ah, yes. Sorry…”

…A woman dressed very suspiciously, putting her phone in her pocket, slipped into the seat next to me.

What the…?

On this hot day, why was she wearing a mask that felt suffocating, sunglasses, and a hat pulled down low?

“….”

Even more suspiciously, this woman who arrived awkwardly in the 4th inning caught my eye as I stared.

Behind her baseball cap, a familiar purple ponytail swayed.

…Could it be?

“…Um, excuse me. From the gym…?”

“No way…”

…Is that Seo Jia?

What is it with me?

Why am I running into celebrities so often lately?

…If I’m going to run into people, I wish it were male idols or something.

“Ah, it really is. You’re the gym part-timer, right…?”

“Ah, yes. I am…”

As I was inwardly taking out my useless anger from the baseball game on the poor Seo Jia, she slightly lowered her sunglasses, revealing her familiar, attractive eyes to me.

…Ah, she’s so pretty I can’t even get annoyed.

I thought the mask was big, but it turned out her face was just small.

Her appearance inspired awe rather than inferiority.

But still.

Why is an idol like her here alone at a baseball game…?

“What a coincidence. Are you a fan of our team too?”

“Ah, yes, yes. I’ve been a fan since I was little…”

“Me too. Because of my dad. …Do you happen to know him?”

“Ah…. Ah. Yes. I know him. The Director…”

“Yes, yes.”

I thought, harboring a strange suspicion.

This woman is our team Director’s daughter.

It would be weirder if she wasn’t a fan.

Thinking that, the suspicion I briefly held vanished, replaced by a subtle sense of kinship.

…It’s a great team for watching games comfortably because there aren’t many fans, but it felt kind of lonely.

Even my few friends usually didn’t watch baseball, or they cheered for other teams.

Even when my uncle got us two tickets like this time, one always ended up being wasted.

“But, this is quite a coincidence. Jia…. Ah. …Can I not say your name?”

“It’s fine. Ah, by the way. What’s your name?”

“M-me? I’m…. Hwang Soo-ah…”

“Ah, Soo-ah…ssi.”

“Yes, yes, yes. That’s right.”

Likewise, perhaps feeling a strange sense of camaraderie, she showed friendliness towards me, sitting beside me, unlike her indifferent attitude at the gym.

…But I did think, couldn’t she have sat one seat apart, since there were plenty of empty seats around?

Well, she’s not a guy, she’s a girl…

“It’s my first day off in a while, so I came to cheer. And meeting someone I know, like you, Soo-ah-ssi. I’m really lucky today.”

“…I wish the game had a little luck too.”

“Huh? Ah…. Right? They were winning when I arrived.”

Sitting side-by-side with her, building a subtle sense of internal closeness despite the slight awkwardness, I stared at the scoreboard, hating the trash pitchers who had somehow managed to give up another run.

…If this woman weren’t next to me, I would have let out some satisfying curses.

No matter what, it’s hard to do that in front of someone who knows I’m here.

“Well, still. The batters are hitting well today, so it’s not like we can’t come back…. …Ah, seriously.”

Suppressing the devil within and maintaining the facade of a pure, baseball-loving college student, I continued speaking.

Watching those tumors on the mound load the bases with yet another walk, I sighed deeply.

If you’re going to do that, just throw it down the middle and get hit! What are you doing getting paid hundreds of millions per year? Seriously.

These aren’t rookies; they’re supposed to have some experience, why are they shitting their pants in the 4th inning…

…I really miss the Boss.

Even though it was just for one season, he always came out and reliably shut things down during times like these.

“…Um, do you happen to have anything to drink?”

“Huh? Ah, something to drink?”

“Yes, yes. It’s hot, if it’s okay, some water…”

“Here.”

“Ah, thank you.”

Just as the devil inside me was about to burst out halfway, thanks to her speaking to me, I managed to swallow my curses and handed her the ice water from my bag.

…Somehow, she seems really polite and timid, unlike my impression.

The Seo Jia I knew was someone who wore her sunglasses on her forehead, crossed her legs, and leaned on her chin looking incredibly cool.

Seeing her sitting demurely, sipping the water I gave her, caused a slight cognitive dissonance.

…Is reality really different from delusion?

I feel kind of sorry for having baseless delusions involving the Boss…

“Phew…. …Thank you. I was thirsty.”

“No, no, it’s fi-ACK…! …Haa. Got it.”

As I was taking the water back from her, I saw with my own eyes a baseball flying at terrifying speed, making a kkang! sound as it was narrowly caught in the glove.

…Fuck, seriously. They just can’t let anything go easily.

As the agonizingly long inning finally ended, I gulped down the water I’d received, trying to soothe my burning insides.

During the change of innings, I subtly shifted my gaze to the woman next to me fiddling with her phone.

“….”

…Honestly, I know it’s rude.

But she was holding her phone so openly.

Privacy… If there was something dangerous, she wouldn’t be doing that, right?

It’s probably not like that, so…

“Ah.”

As I kept stealing glances sideways.

…I spotted a familiar company logo on her phone.

I inadvertently let out a sound.

“…Why?”

“No. Just…. Well. Yeah.”

…I play that game too.

It’s famous, but it’s a weeb mobile game, isn’t it?

Why would someone like you, a world-class social butterfly, play that…?

“Do you happen to know this game too, Soo-ah-ssi?”

“Ah. Well. Yes. I know of it…”

“Do you play it?”

“Well…, yes. A little…”

…But.

Regardless of the reason.

As she showed me her account, her eyes sparkling behind her sunglasses, while holding the game I play.

“Really? Ah, I got recommended this by a friend… a member. I’ve been playing it because it’s fun…”

…I couldn’t suppress the dark desire to eagerly teach her everything as a veteran player.

Ah, seriously.

I didn’t come all the way to this sacred baseball stadium just to build trivial friendships like this, honestly.

An idol isn’t that big of a deal….

…But.

Watching this maddening baseball game continuously is bad for my health, maybe I should help a newbie for a bit…?

Hehehe…….

**

“Oh, and Jia-ssi, the character you like is having a rerun next week…”

…She’s quite a bothersome woman.

Unlike the image I had of her, she talks so much.

Since it was a game I played, I understood what she was saying, but seeing her excitedly babbling away, udada, honestly annoyed me a bit.

I wouldn’t voice it, though.

“Ah, really? That’s a relief. I really wanted to try using them…”

“They do appear attractively in the story, that character.”

Not sure what she was proud of, but playing along with her strangely puffed-up attitude.

I gazed absently through her sunglasses at the baseball game, which was nearing its end with the score now a reversed 15:10.

…Was baseball always a sport where this many points were scored?

I don’t really know, but… since we’re winning, this woman probably won’t be in a bad mood either.

“And…, …Ah. Seriously…. Can we just win cleanly for once…”

But the moment the sound of a baseball flying far away, kkang, reached her ears as she was excitedly chattering.

She reflexively looked towards the fence, sighed deeply, and started biting her own thigh.

“Still, it’s only a two-run difference.”

“That’s true. It’s just… frustrating when they keep walking batters when they could finish cleanly.”

“There’s only one out left, so we’ll win.”

“….”

Unlike her reaction, which showed stress right down to her fingertips, the next batter was struck out with almost absurd ease, and the game ended with cheers.

The sun hadn’t set yet, but it was a time that wouldn’t feel strange to call evening.

Following her as she brushed off her jeans and stood up, I too pulled my hat down low, hid my face, and walked out of the stadium.

“Um, Soo-ah-ssi.”

“Yes.”

“How old are you? I meant to ask earlier, but I forgot.”

“…I was born in ’98.”

“Ah, then you’re my unnie. I was born in ’00.”

“….”

Actually, I already knew all these trivial personal details.

What games this woman liked.

…Where she was sitting to watch the baseball game.

Because she was posting it all on Twitter herself.

“Actually, calling you Soo-ah-ssi feels really awkward…. …Can I just call you unnie?”

“Uh, well…. It’s fine, but…”

Unlike her excited chatter earlier, I matched strides with her as she became strangely flustered and shy, casually saying, ‘Yes, Soo-ah unnie.’

…Honestly, it’s a little creepy.

In my entire life, I’ve never spoken in this tone of voice in private settings.

“….”

But.

Because my voice and gestures have been honed by my profession.

No matter that my opponent is the same gender.

It’s not easy to push away a woman like me.

…Half of my fans are usually women, after all.

Many fans fell for my cool image, but…

Many also fell for the vulnerabilities I created.

“And, Soo-ah unnie, you can speak casually to me too.”

“Uhh…, um…. …Yeah. Okay.”

Hearing my tone of voice, which suited my age, I diligently analyzed her expression, which looked quite sly, and followed her footsteps, unsure of our destination, looking for a nearby restaurant.

“Ah, aren’t you hungry, unnie? Let’s grab dinner?”

“…Dinner? With me?”

“Since I taught you various things about the game. I’ll treat you. As thanks.”

“Uhh…, yeah. Okay. Let’s eat dinner…”

Getting closer.

Seems like it was successful.

Since I won’t have time to meet directly during my upcoming schedule, I need to at least get her contact information.

Having private conversations for personal reasons with an idol everyone looks up to.

It’s a much more fun thing than I thought.

I hope you’ll listen intently to my stories for a while.

…Hwang Soo-ah-ssi.