085. Surrender (2)

I don’t know.

What I should do.

“Hey, Kang Joo-hyuk…. Cleaning. You don’t have to do it today….”

“You didn’t do it yesterday.”

“….”

I don’t know how to deal with him, sitting there cleaning with such a carefree face.

I can’t stand the sight of him and want to kick him out, but…

that’s impossible.

And report him now?

We’ve lived together for months?

No matter what happens, seeing Kang Joo-hyuk go to jail….

…Rather than not wanting to see it.

I don’t know what he might do when he gets out.

And.

“What should we eat for dinner later. Haeun-ah.”

“…Whatever.”

Because I don’t know what I’d do if this man disappeared.

My YouTube channel, can I keep growing it like this?

They said wearing moderately revealing clothes would be enough, but will that really work?

If it fails, what should I do then?

I don’t know anything.

Do I have to start looking at potential suitors and get married now?

…Among those stiff-necked church folks Dad would introduce me to?

“If you say ‘whatever,’ I’ll toast bread with butter and about five slices of cheese on top.”

“No, then. Just…. I’ll do it. Today.”

“Really? Okay then.”

If I’m really lucky.

and meet someone decent and get married,

what would happen if this man found me someday?

…Wouldn’t he threaten me, saying he knows what would happen if my husband found out?

Then again,

he’d demand my body like before.

Maybe.

…Maybe then he wouldn’t even let me take my medicine.

Even if I got pregnant,

he’d tell me to raise it with my husband.

“Ah, but, do you know how to cook?”

“I do. I lived alone even when you weren’t here.”

…Even these terrible thoughts.

are for when things go well.

Maybe I’ll meet a man worse than Kang Joo-hyuk.

Who can’t cook better than this man.

Doesn’t care about cleaning at all.

Dirty.

Unsanitary.

“Really? Then…, I’ll look forward to it. Honestly, lunch was edible too.”

“…It was leftovers.”

…Without any of these pleasantries.

Just lusting after my body.

And after being threatened by Kang Joo-hyuk,

call me a rag,

and abandon me.

Maybe this man would abandon me too.

“As long as the eggs were boiled well, that’s enough.”

Thinking like that,

I hate it.

Tomorrow,

not being like the day before yesterday.

That video I haven’t watched yet,

calling it ‘cheating’.

**

“…Uh, hey. Kang Joo-hyuk.”

“It’s edible, considering.”

The soft tofu stew I made for the first time in a while.

I used to make it often before Kang Joo-hyuk came.

Luckily, it seems my memory from back then hasn’t rusted.

…Though I did look it up because I was confused about the recipe.

“Why did you pretend you couldn’t cook when you’re actually good at it? All this time.”

“No, I never did that….”

Surprisingly, instead of frowning, seeing his expression as he ate deliciously eased my tension a bit.

I was worried he’d criticize me for cooking worse than him.

That’s a relief, at least.

If he used that as an excuse again and just left….

“If it’s this good, you can cook from now on. I’ll do more of the cleaning and dishes.”

“Ah, well. Other than this, I don’t really….”

“If you can make stew, you can probably follow recipes for other things too? I’ll make Western dishes sometimes.”

“….”

…If he leaves,

he’s leaving.

I can survive alone without him.

Laundry and cleaning would be halved.

“What, why aren’t you answering. So, are you going to do it or not?”

“….”

“Why. …Are you going to live forever just eating my cooking without doing anything?”

“…Ah, seriously. I can do it….”

…But.

I hate that.

Like yesterday.

Being left alone in this house.

If this man disappears,

it’ll be my brother again, or…

…Not Kang Joo-hyuk,

but another man who desires my body.

having to depend on someone to survive.

“Then I’ll ask you to do it like today. The stew is delicious, honestly.”

“…It’s probably because I only put in delicious ingredients.”

“When I praise you, just accept it gracefully.”

“From you…! …What good will it do me to be praised by you.”

…I hate it.

Until the day before yesterday.

was good.

“You get praised when you get praised, why make such a fuss. You praise me sometimes too, don’t you?”

“When did I….”

“When you sleep.”

“….”

Without thinking about anything,

the days I was dragged around by Kang Joo-hyuk.

were comfortable because I didn’t have to think.

It wasn’t my fault at all.

Everything.

“…Do you want to sleep together later?”

“….”

…Because it’s this man’s fault.

Even if I nod my head to words like that.

It’s not my fault.

I feel at ease.

Rather.

**

Night.

But it was a bit early to sleep.

The pajamas I always wore.

The underwear I always wore.

A slightly flushed face.

“Ah, refreshing.”

“…I’m sleepy, me.”

Kang Joo-hyuk, wearing just shorts.

…We didn’t shower together.

Just in case it turned into yesterday again.

“Then…, let’s sleep right away.”

“…Okay.”

I nod and bury myself in the covers, waiting for him.

…Now, it’s okay not to do anything.

Because he’ll play with me as he pleases.

Yesterday’s events,

and that horrible video I received after waking up.

It’s okay not to think about them.

Just like this, continuously.

It’s okay not to see them.

“Hoo…”

He comes into the soft blankets.

Slightly rougher than that, the large towel spread on the sheets keeps brushing against my skin.

…Laundry, he’ll probably do it anyway.

Since I said I’d cook starting tomorrow.

Screaming, I wonder if it’ll be okay.

This isn’t a soundproof booth.

It’ll probably be fine.

There’s no one to hear anyway.

“It’s warm, really.”

“…Really?”

“Yeah. It’s super toasty warm.”

His hard upper body, which I can’t feel the warmth of through the fabric yet, touches my back.

Gradually, I feel his large, hard hand digging into the fabric.

A touch that’s a little cold, but quickly warms up.

His slightly rough and hot breath also touches my neck.

…What is it.

My heart sinks at this sly caress.

“…Lift up a little.”

He, who had caressed my lower stomach a few times, now slips his fingers inside my pants.

Pulled by that force, I unconsciously and naturally lift my hips slightly.

So that my panties and pajama pants hang on my hips.

Srrrk.

As the fabric makes a rustling sound.

“….”

After that, the snap buttons come undone with a ‘tik, tik’ sound.

From collarbone to pubic bone.

The only thing covering me.

Is now just a bra.

“…You’re wearing one?”

“…Why.”

“No. I thought you wouldn’t be wearing one. …Since we’re going to sleep.”

He, moving his hand upward past my navel, touches the remaining bra and lets out a slight snort.

…You’d complain if I took it off anyway.

You prefer taking it off, don’t you.

“When did you buy a front-hook bra?”

“…It was always there, you perverted bastard.”

“Now that’s more like you.”

He, touching my back then groping my front again, easily removes my underwear and places his hand on my breast.

As always, using my curses as fuel.

Breathing a little more raggedly.

Closer and closer to my ear.

“…What did you do yesterday.”

“…Nothing.”

“Really? …You went straight to sleep after I left?”

“…Can’t I?”

…To make me recall memories I don’t want to remember.

He breathes onto me.

“I went out and played, so I thought maybe you did too.”

“…I slept. That’s all.”

“Want me to show you what I played with?”

“Hey, Kang Joo-hyuk…!”

Forcing memories I don’t want to see.

Right before my eyes.

-Ahem, um. Ah. Uh…, what was I trying to say?

-Why are you asking me that?”

-Ah. Right. Introductions. Hello. I’m Hinami. Please take care of me.

The man and woman sitting side-by-side on the bed.

An awkward self-introduction video.

“You probably saw it anyway, but playing with this person….”

“Kang Joo-hyuk.”

…This man shamelessly thrusts it in front of me.

Still treating me like an idiot.

“Why. Are you upset?”

“…Wouldn’t you be upset if it were you?”

“I would be upset.”

“Then why…!”

“I told you. …I love you.”

“….”

Words I don’t mean.

Again and again.

Again and again.

Pressing on my heart.

“…If you see the person you love playing around with another man, of course you’d be upset, right?”

“…Don’t mess with me.”

“Why. Wouldn’t you feel bad if you saw me cheating too?”

“Of course…! …….”

…This,

Kang Joo-hyuk having sex with another woman.

“You said you and I weren’t anything, right? …Then who am I abandoning to cheat with her?”

“….”

To make me say I abandoned him and cheated.

…He keeps tormenting me.

Now, even through the fabric, I can feel

his hot body temperature transferring.

“…Are you just going to keep your mouth shut like that?”

“….”

An answer.

I have to give one.

I have to decide now.

To get out of this house.

By raping me, my first time,

my first kiss,

and how he fucked me without a condom, ejaculating inside me whenever he pleased.

And how he grabbed my breasts hard enough to hurt.

I’ll pretend it all never happened.

And tell him never to appear before me again.

-The person next to me is Jia’s boyfriend…. No, it’s Jia’s older sister’s boyfriend. I almost misspoke.

-He’s not a boyfriend. He just got dumped, didn’t he?

Like the voice coming out.

That this kind of guy isn’t a boyfriend or anything.

I didn’t like him, so I dumped him.

I can just say that.

…I can meet a better man.

There are tons of guys trying to get my number just walking down the street.

-Ah, right. Not a boyfriend… roughly, Master? Right?

-…It’s something like that, yeah.

Among them.

A man better than this bastard.

Than a man who calls me a pet with his own mouth.

A decent man.

There must be at least one…

“…Seo Haeun.”

“….”

“It’s hot, so I’m going out for some air.”

Even leaving a woman like me behind.

Won’t go out for air…

A man who doesn’t.

There must be at least one.

“I’ll go for a walk and be back, so you sleep first.”

“….”

“…Bye. See you tomorrow.”

…There must be.

There definitely must be.

More than enough.

But.

Why.

Did I.

“…What are you doing?”

“…Come with me.”

…Grab this man’s wrist?

My pants half-off,

my top and bra slipping down.

In my disheveled state.

“Let’s go for a walk together, you son of a bitch….”

“…Then pack.”

This man.

Am I following Kang Joo-hyuk out?

“…Pack what?”

“Clothes. …And a leash.”

As if,

like that crazy bitch said.

…This man.

“If you don’t intend to come….”

“…What clothes.”

“What?”

“What clothes should I wear. …Me.”

My,

…As if he were my Master.