060. Zero Dating Experiences (1)

Today’s workout finished, and before I knew it, it was lunchtime.

Lying comfortably on the sofa, I stare at the message displayed on the screen.

The guests had left like they were fleeing as soon as morning broke, but that didn’t make yesterday’s secret rendezvous disappear.

…That crazy bitch.

For someone who doesn’t look it, she’s got some serious guts.

“Ah, um… I’m gonna go out for a bit…?”

“Yeah, go ahead. Are you coming back for dinner?”

“Probably…”

“If possible, don’t eat dinner and come back. I need to clear out the leftovers in the fridge.”

“…Okay. I’ll be back.”

Seeing Haeun off, who had made plans with a friend for the first time since we started living together, I mull over the message on my phone again.

How much of a fucking pervert must a pretty famous idol be to suck a dick for a guy she just met.

She talks a big game, but she’s fucking terrible at performing fellatio.

Seriously, what kind of asshole taught her so poorly.

…If it were me, I wouldn’t have taught her like that.

I really wanted to punch the guy who taught such a fucking perverted bitch fellatio so badly.

How could someone teach a girl whose looks are top-tier even compared to actresses how to suck properly?

Seeing how well she uses her tongue, I bet she’d learn quickly if taught patiently.

What a fucking waste, seriously.

It’s not like girls who look innocent but are perverts by nature are common.

Ah, fuck this.

“…I should probably start selling off my stocks.”

Well, setting aside what kind of idiot Hinami and the guy who taught her are, there was one thing for sure.

That woman is a ticking time bomb.

After seeing Seo Jia in person, I invested a few thousand into her agency thinking she’d last at least a few more years, but I guess I need to sell it off the moment her new song drops.

Seeing a top-tier idol like her pulling stunts like this means she could fall from grace anytime, and it wouldn’t be strange.

Still, I made about 10%, so maybe that’s enough.

Besides, individuals can’t short sell anyway.

…How should I invest this money now.

Seeing Haeun’s cosplay video hit 100,000 views instantly,

I won’t starve to death right away, but I’ll still need a business card.

…If I don’t, I’ll really get kicked out, won’t I.

Our landlady has been eyeing me.

“Ah, we’re out of coffee beans.”

Rummaging through the kitchen to pump caffeine into my brain, I realize we’re out of the beans I bought last time and grab some instant coffee mix.

It’s gritty and not my preference, but nothing beats it for waking up my brain.

It’s not a particularly smart guy, but let’s give it a whirl for once.

I’d rather die than move out of this ridiculously tall skyscraper.

…Of course,

Since that crazy bitch with the small chest but damn beautiful face is looking for a fuck buddy,

I won’t end up in a worse situation than that manager oppa I saw yesterday.

---

…Because of Hinami’s crazy antics, how many times have I been affected?

It’s too much of a hassle to even count now.

Counting them won’t make her reflect, anyway.

“Ah, Jia, why do you only have salad at home? And sesame dressing…”

“Just eat it. It has chicken breast in it, too.”

I knew she’d sneakily mixed soju into my beer, but I let it slide because she probably did the same to Kang Joo-hyuk.

…But seriously, how much did she mix in?

After just a few drinks, my head started spinning, and instead of kicking out the tenant who barged in without permission, I ended up sleeping soundly at her place.

Annoying, really…

It felt gross because I didn’t even change clothes.

What is she trying to do to someone who’s already sleep-deprived?

“Yes, yes, I understand~”

If I had my way, I’d give Hinami, who was nonchalantly eating a late breakfast that passed for lunch, a knuckle sandwich on her forehead.

But it’s obvious she’d milk it for months if I hit her, so it’s hard to get angry.

Remember how she milked that punishment slap on her forearm on that variety show for almost a year?

Saying, ‘Jia’s hitting me, everyone~’.

…I hit her with real force because she deserved it.

When I went to her place, she was blatantly smoking an e-cigarette, I couldn’t just let that slide.

Although she didn’t listen in the end.

“Ah, this is so annoying…”

“Yeah, what is?”

“Because of someone.”

“Ugh…, ah. …Joo-hyuk oppa?”

“…Yeah.”

Whether she knew she was included in that annoying person or not, I glare sharply at Hinami, who shifts all the blame onto her accomplice.

Despite my sharp gaze, instead of shrinking back, her lips curl into a smirk, making my chest tighten.

…Then again, even the older girls can’t control Hinami.

What can I, her junior by age, possibly do?

I just have to hope she doesn’t cause any trouble.

“…But Joo-hyuk oppa is quite the talker. Funny, too. I can see why Haeun unnie fell for him?”

“…And so?”

“No, I just thought maybe there’s no need to kick him out… If they aren’t breaking up anyway, won’t he just stay? They’re totally… lovey-dovey. Lovey-dovey.”

“That’s my house, you know? I don’t want a strange man living in my house, so what’s it to you, unnie?”

“Wow, Jia. Do you realize how bad your personality sounds right now? The fans would freak out if they heard that.”

“…”

It was absurd hearing that from Hinami, but she wasn’t exactly wrong, so it was hard to argue back.

…Sigh, honestly, I desperately want to kick out both unnie and that man,

But I have absolutely no grounds to kick them out right now, which is problematic.

I doubt they’d leave even if I told them to,

And if I try to kick them out along with unnie, I’m scared of what kind of trouble they might cause.

If unnie were to break up with him, maybe, but right now, I absolutely can’t kick them out…

Ah.

“…Should I introduce her to the stylist unnie.”

“Huh?”

“That guy’s a player anyway, so if a decent woman gets involved, he’ll cheat… Then, before I have to kick him out, unnie will kick him out first.”

“…No way. …He won’t do that, right? Haeun unnie is pretty. Much prettier than the stylist unnie.”

“Men are always attracted to new women anyway. From what I’ve heard about that guy, he probably…”

“I don’t recommend it. He won’t fall for the stylist unnie…?”

“We’ll know if we try.”

…That guy, who keeps glancing at my body anyway,

is probably the type to easily fall for just one or two decent women and cheat.

The stylist unnie might be a bit lower class than unnie, but to my eyes, the difference isn’t that significant.

I have to scheme somehow and get him kicked out.

…If I leave him be, I feel like he’ll start eyeing me too.

His eyes are way too lecherous.

Maybe he’ll even start eyeing Hinami, who visits here sometimes.

Either way, it’s quite problematic for me.

“…I’m telling you, no. It won’t happen.”

“We’ll know if we try.”

“Aw…, no…”

“Stop talking nonsense and go buy some coffee. …You lost rock-paper-scissors to me earlier.”

“It’s easier if you order me around, whyyy~”

“…Aren’t you supposed to buy sanitary pads too, idiot.”

“We can get those delivered too…”

“Shut up.”

“Tsk, why didn’t you ask the manager oppa yesterday. Jia-chan is such an idiot.”

“Then get out. Now. Take your luggage.”

“Ah, okay, okay. I’ll go buy it~”

A man who’s obviously bound to cause trouble,

I can’t leave him near me, where everyone causes trouble.

…After all, I’m an idol.

Until I retire,

Please, just don’t let any scandals happen.

Honestly, it wouldn’t be strange if something blew up any day now.

---

I met my friends after a really long time.

We had lunch like usual, chatted at a cafe.

I laughed along with their chatter, badmouthing their boyfriends one moment and subtly praising them the next.

An ordinary meeting.

An ordinary plan.

…But,

For some reason, I couldn’t feel at ease.

“Haeun, you haven’t been posting on Instagram lately?”

“Ah…, I’ve been a bit busy…”

“You, who always posted pictures of food, how could you be so busy? …Did you perhaps make a new account again?”

“Why would I do something like that.”

“You did it once before. Weird people started flocking through DMs… Or maybe, are you starting a ‘couple account’? Busy because you got a boyfriend, right?”

“…That’s not it, really.”

To my friends’ teasing, which would normally make me deny it furiously, I gave a surprisingly calm answer.

…Ha. Boyfriend, my foot.

If only that were the case, it might have been much easier.

Living together with a boyfriend who’s tall, has sharp features but isn’t unpleasant,

If I could talk about him freely, even my friends who love to tease would have cheered me on.

“Aw, what is it. Looks like you really don’t have one. Seo Haeun can’t lie.”

“Why. You never know? It’s the norm for people to become shameless when they get a boyfriend, right?”

“Like you?”

“Ahaha, what do you mean, like me.~”

Amidst my friends chatting cheerfully with laughter and giggles, I just couldn’t jump in.

If it were like before, I would have shot back a few words at them too, clearing my head and chatting away.

Then, if they teased me, I’d pretend it hurt and laugh it off.

That natural flow of conversation,

Today, it felt like it was stripping away my scales, making it overwhelming.

“Ah, but when are you actually going to get a boyfriend? We’re already 26… Isn’t that dangerous?”

“What is.”

“Hey, Haeun, you look like you do, how does it make sense that you haven’t dated a guy until your late twenties? If you’re busy, I wouldn’t say anything… but if it’s not that, wouldn’t it be better to date while you’re still pretty?”

“…If I met a good person, I would have dated.”

“No, how can someone who’s never dated a guy know if they’re good or bad? Hey, just because they act like they’d give you the world when they first approach you doesn’t make them a good person. A good person is someone who treats you well even after the initial excitement fades.”

“I know that too… I’m not an idiot, you know?”

“Huh? Isn’t Haeun an idiot?”

“Yeah. …Not dating because of that is the act of a complete fool. Pfft…”

“…”

My friends teasing me about my chest no longer felt bothersome or annoying.

The reason… I don’t know myself.

I just didn’t want to feel embarrassed or angry about things like this anymore.

Since I’d already given my chastity to trash who doesn’t even qualify as a good man,

Whatever they said felt like it concerned someone else.

“…Hmm. Haeun, why aren’t you saying anything when we poke your chest?”

“I don’t even have the energy to get angry after working out…”

“You, who always just runs on the treadmill and quits.”

“…I did squats and stuff too. My legs are really sore right now.”

“Oh, are you getting PT? What, didn’t you complain last time that the trainer was hitting on you hard?”

“No. Just… …On my own.”

“…That’s suspicious. Are you sure you’re our Haeun, who always threw tantrums about not wanting muscles?”

“Right? It’s really suspicious.”

The gazes of my friends, scanning me with eyes full of curiosity rather than suspicion, weren’t unpleasant at all.

Even if they found out,

they wouldn’t find out about those sordid, vulgar nights.

They’ll just assume the best on their own.

Ah, so our Haeun, who never dated, finally met a tall, well-built guy.

His face is a bit of a letdown, but his voice is nice, so we should accept it.

Now unnie can rest easy~

…It’s obvious they’ll just spout nonsense like this.

Kang Joo-hyuk, too,

will never take off his mask in front of others.

“Ah, hold on… My phone.”

“Hmm~? …From your boyfriend?”

“It’s not my boyfriend. It’s a work call.”

“Hey, we all know you’re unemployed, so where…”

“…I’m not unemployed. Me. YouTube… it’s doing okay. Hearing you guys talk…”

“…Why are you saying that now? You were evasive when we asked what you were doing earlier?”

“It’s because you guys kept insisting I had a boyfriend… This is my editor calling. I’ll take it quickly.”

“…Is the editor perhaps male?”

“If he’s male, so what? …Do I have to date every guy I meet?”

“Aw, that’s not it… Do you know his face?”

“He’s not handsome.”

“Meaning he’s not ugly either… Hey, isn’t that a 100% match?”

“I say 80 percent.”

“What are you saying, seriously…”

Then and now,

I sigh exasperatedly at my friends, who are always making a fuss, and step away for a moment.

…Sigh. I said I was meeting friends.

Why is this person calling again.

“…Hello.”

-Yeah, Haeun.

“Mm.”

-I have plans, so I’m going out for dinner. You come back whenever.

“…Huh?”

-I said come back after dinner. I’ll be back late.

…Why,

did you make plans right after I left?

Never once,

had you done that before.