03.5 Confession

Twice.

That’s how many times I’ve wet myself in front of Jane.

In my previous life, I lived 26 years and only made that mistake once.

And that was when I was seven, accidentally drawing a map on my blanket while sleeping.

But in this life, I’ve already messed up twice.

The shame and embarrassment completely evaporated the fluttering excitement from my first kiss.

After hesitating, Jane spoke first.

“…Sorry.”

Biting my lips in dismay, I also apologized.

“My bad.”

“No, it’s because I pressed on your stomach.”

Perhaps because of the intimate conversation we just had?

I feel a bit closer to Jane, so the words come more easily.

“That’s true. It was because of you, Master.”

“…Yeah.”

Honestly, it was partly my fault for not saying anything, but I think Jane was more at fault.

She practically kidnapped me while I was heading to the bathroom, sucking and biting and all.

Of course, if Jane says, “But you liked it too-” I’d have no comeback.

Because I really did.

Jane was the one who broke the brief silence.

“Heh….”

“Is it funny?”

“Hmm-hmm.”

I snapped at Jane, who was giggling uncontrollably without realizing it.

But she didn’t seem offended at all and instead supported the back of my knees with her hand.

“Whoa?”

Losing my balance suddenly, I quickly wrapped my arms around Jane’s neck.

Jane lifted me in a classic princess carry and stepped away from the bed.

“Let’s go wash up first.”

“Okay.”

The mood was already ruined, and the once-scorching body heat had turned lukewarm.

Cradled in Jane’s arms, I headed to the bathroom.

We washed up lightly and changed clothes.

Nothing happened while we were in the bathroom.

Back in Jane’s room, I crossed my arms and stared at the bed.

Despite the towel laid out, there was still a massive map drawn on it.

“Wow, whoever did this must be a real general, huh?”

Jane, who had followed me, placed a hand on my head and spoke.

“Seems like it, General.”

“Hmph.”

As Jane dried my hair with a towel, I asked,

“Don’t you have cleaning magic? Like whoosh-ping and it’s all washed?”

I mimicked the motion of Jane waving her fingers when she used magic.

Covering her mouth while laughing, Jane shook her head.

“I do. But I can’t use it now.”

“Why not?”

“The bed wouldn’t survive-it’d burn up.”

“Ah.”

I don’t understand the principles of magic.

But if the Archmage says so, it must be true.

“Then where will you sleep, Jane?”

“Hmm… the sofa?”

“That’d be uncomfortable…”

Right.

Having made up my mind, I turned to face Jane.

“Then, you take my bed. I’ll sleep on the sofa.”

“Wouldn’t that be uncomfortable for you?”

I shook my head at her words.

“You’re my Master.”

“Hmm…”

As always, Jane’s lips, usually a straight line, curved into a gentle arc.

She proposed a compromise.

“Then let’s sleep together. The bed’s big enough.”

“Huh?”

What the-! Unmarried men and women sleeping together!

For a moment, the Confucian dragon inside me roared in anger.

But Jane’s next words made me relent immediately.

“We’ve already kissed. Still shy?”

“Ah, uh…”

The memory of my first kiss, which I’d been trying hard not to recall, instantly flooded my mind.

That soft, pillowy sensation.

It was sweet…

Feeling my face burn, I averted my gaze.

But Jane smirked mischievously and met my eyes.

“Let’s sleep together. Okay?”

“Okay~!”

My defeat was inevitable from the start.

***

Moonlight blocked by the curtains.

A room plunged into pitch-black darkness.

Lying side by side on the bed, we faced away from each other.

To prevent another fiery accident if we happened to lock eyes.

But Jane kept inching closer, as if wanting to reignite the flames.

“Aren’t you closer now than before?”

“Nah.”

“I think you are…”

I sighed at her nonchalant reply.

Then, definitive proof emerged to confirm my suspicion.

“Gah!”

A soft, elastic sensation pressed against my back through the thin nightgown, warming my entire spine.

I felt arms wrapping around my modest chest.

Jane spoke.

“I’ll just hold you.”

“Eek!”

Because she whispered right next to my ear, I flinched slightly.

Amused, Jane giggled into my ear again.

Surprisingly, Jane laughs quite often.

Of course, sleep had long since fled.

Instead of resting, Jane was busy sniffing my scent.

“Hmm…”

Jane buried her nose in my hair and took a deep breath.

She whispered,

“Sleepy?”

“No.”

“I’m curious about something. Can I ask?”

Jane is incredibly kind.

Even if she ordered me to speak, I’d have to answer.

But instead of asserting her authority as Master, she always asks for my consent like this.

That’s why I readily agreed.

“If it’s something I can answer.”

Her breath tickled my scalp.

A heavy silence lingered briefly.

After carefully choosing her words, my Master asked,

“Lily mentioned it before. That you used to be a man.”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“What does that mean?”

I slowly gathered my thoughts to answer her question.

How should I explain this?

Or rather, what answer is she looking for?

The truth is, my memories still aren’t complete.

But I don’t want to hide anything from Jane-from my Master.

“I’m not from this world.”

I struggled to begin.

“I actually died once. But when I opened my eyes, I woke up in an unfamiliar world.”

“What?”

“I barely remember my past life. When I came to, I was locked in a smelly room. Thought I’d go insane.”

When I first mentioned being male, Jane brushed it off.

But now, she’s listening intently.

Though our bond has deepened, my chest aches.

“I wondered what happened to this body’s original owner. The bald guy gave me the answer. Said it was a soulless corpse.”

That’s why my price dropped, but since I ‘woke up,’ they could sell me at full value.

When I added how the bald guy had sneered, Jane began radiating a dangerous aura.

But I wasn’t scared at all.

Because I knew her anger wasn’t directed at me.

“Bald guy?”

“Remember the room where we first met?”

“Yeah, where Lily wet herself seeing me.”

“Ugh.”

Why does she remember it like that…?

“Anyway, the big dead guy outside that room was the bald guy I mentioned.”

“…Should’ve made him suffer longer.”

I stroked Jane’s arm wrapped around my waist.

Then, with bitter guilt, I confessed,

“So I’m not Lily. Just a man from another world possessing Lily’s body.”

I admit to deceiving my Master until now.

I await punishment for my sin.

Jane calmly asked again,

“You said you’d already possessed the body when we met. And just now, Lily said the original owner was gone.”

“But-“

“Enough.”

The arm around me tightened slightly.

The pressure squeezing my chest paradoxically comforted me.

“The one who’s built memories with me is you. The dead girl is tragic, but the one I named is you.”

“Jane…”

Burying her face in my nape, my Master growled like a warning.

“So Lily is my Maylily. Don’t forget that.”

“Okay.”

“Never deny it again.”

“Okay.”

My chest swelled, tears threatening to spill.

Silence enveloped us once more.

But I felt at peace.

Jane was the one to break the quiet.

“Lily.”

Her voice was soft as usual, not the stern tone from earlier.

“How old were you in your past life?”

An unexpected question.

Also one of the few I could answer.

“Twenty-six.”

“Older than me…”

“Call me oppa.”

I’d hoped, but Jane answered by pinching my cheek instead.

“How did you die so young?”

I’d recalled the answer to this recently too.

But I couldn’t say it.

Admitting I took my own life is more shameful than I expected.

Besides, I don’t even remember why I did it.

As silence stretched, Jane asked something else.

“What did you do in your past life?”

I closed my eyes.

Fragmented memories surfaced chaotically.

What was I back then?

“Machines… I think I worked with machines.”

“Machines? A blacksmith?”

“Not exactly…”

What came to mind were memories of staring at a computer screen all day.

Lines tangled messily across a black display.

“I didn’t build them myself. I handled designs. That’s what I did.”

Saying it aloud made my past profession crystal clear.

I was someone who designed machinery at a small company.

“So you were an artisan.”

“Just a corporate drone.”

Suddenly wanting to see Jane’s face, I turned over.

Meeting my gaze, Jane gave me a tender smile.

I grinned back at her.

“Family?”

“Parents and one younger sister.”

“Hobbies?”

“Hmm… not sure?”

Jane asked a few more questions, but I couldn’t answer.

A frustrated sigh escaped me.

“Sigh…”

Suddenly, soft warmth touched my forehead.

With her lips still pressed there, Jane asked,

“Disappointed?”

“No.”

“Do you miss it?”

“A little.”

“Want to go back?”

I shook my head immediately.

“Not at all. Sure, being a slave sucks. But I met you.”

I don’t know why.

Or how it happened.

But one thing’s certain-Jane cherishes me.

Even if it’s just for a fleeting moment, that’s enough for me.

Jane gently pulled my head closer.

I naturally nestled my face against her chest.

The rich scent of her skin, a comforting forest-like aroma, tickled my nose.

My eyelids grew heavy.

“Sleepy?”

“Yeah.”

Her fingers running through my hair were tender.

I closed my eyes.

“Tell me more when you remember.”

“Okay.”

The rhythmic patting on my back.

“Goodnight, Lily.”