Chapter 75

Chapter 75

Not long after, Vivian really did come to visit my room.

“Um, Erica! It’s me, Vivian.

I was worried about you and came to check on you. Could you open the door?”

It felt familiar—like déjà vu.

No, it wasn’t just a feeling. This had already happened before, but maybe my exhausted brain had shoved the memory into some corner, unwilling to deal with it.

I walked to the door and opened it without a word.

There stood a pretty girl with familiar blonde hair, looking flustered as she greeted me.

“Uh, um, h-hello?”

Ah, right. A few days ago, I had slapped her and walked away.

It sounded like something between lovers when put that way, but we were nothing more than friends, if you could even call it that.

Not that I thought I ever really had friends.

If she’d been this nervous about me opening the door, maybe it would’ve been better for her not to knock in the first place.

“Uh, um… uh…”

Lost in thought, I didn’t respond to her greeting and simply stared at her for a while. It seemed to make her uncomfortable, and she let out a small, awkward sound.

“Come in. I don’t know why you’re here, though.”

I offered her a chair and set out some tea and chocolate that Evan had brought me—or rather, that I’d asked him to bring.

Offering something to a guest is basic courtesy, no matter where you are.

“Sorry, I wasn’t sure what you’d like, so I just brought out what I enjoy.”

“Oh, no! That’s fine, really!”

“If you say so.”

A silence fell over us.

I didn’t want to grow closer, didn’t want to share common interests, and certainly didn’t feel like engaging in friendly chatter.

There had never been a time when being involved with this girl had brought me happiness.

Not that being with Evan had brought much joy either, but at least there had been a tiny bit of it here and there.

Like when he helped me die properly after I’d been reduced to a crawling wreck with missing limbs and gouged-out eyes.

The girl in front of me seemed unable to endure the heavy silence.

Sitting quietly, she hesitated before handing me a small paper bag.

I didn’t take it.

So, after clearing her throat awkwardly, she placed it on the table instead.

“Well, I didn’t think it was right to come empty-handed, so I baked some cookies.”

“You’re welcome to come empty-handed.

I’m not some greedy pig of the Imperial Palace who demands bribes to grant an audience.”

Vivian looked slightly taken aback by my words.

“So, why did you come?”

I didn’t tell her to leave like I had the last time.

Considering that last time had been years ago, I suppose I’d made some progress over the years.

Maybe I should be proud of myself for that.

“I heard rumors that someone tried to harm you, and I overheard the others in class gossiping about you.

You haven’t been attending classes, so I thought something might have happened…”

That “someone” was turned into dust and washed down the drain.

Why had I been so distressed back then?

No, it made sense—I’d been in pain.

I should’ve run away.

Why had I endured it so helplessly?

Let’s just chalk it up to me being foolish.

Still, laughing now felt out of place given the situation.

It was time to revert to that foolishly stubborn and prideful Lady Erica Mecklenburg.

“Heh, haha. Sorry, it’s just funny.”

My sudden laughter seemed to fluster Vivian even more.

Feeling like breaking the tension a bit, I took out a long, black cigar from my pocket, held it in my mouth, and gestured with it.

Good-quality cigars are best lit with a strong flame.

And since I had a mage even stronger than Evan in front of me, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to make use of her.

“Could you light this for me?”

Vivian hesitated, clearly unsure, but still diligently lit the cigar for me.

“Thank you. Want one?”

“Oh, no! I’m fine!”

“You came because you were worried about me, right?”

She nodded slowly, drawing out a soft “Yes.”

“There’s nothing to worry about.

Right now, I can stay in the dormitory as much as I want. When they tell me to leave, I’ll leave. Simple as that.

And then I’ll go to Evan and… oh.”

Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned Evan.

As I thought about it, my eyes met Vivian’s.

Her gaze, a mix of pity and complexity, made me uncomfortable.

I hated it.

When Lydia looked at me with contempt, ready to crush and obliterate me, I could just brush it off. But Vivian’s gaze carried a faint trace of affection, which made it harder to dismiss.

Why did she like me? Why didn’t she hate me, despite everything? Why did she try to control me?

In frustration, I threw the glass I was holding against the wall.

Having thrown glasses so many times, I could almost call myself a professional—it shattered with a satisfying crash.

A few shards embedded themselves in my skin, drawing a bit of blood, but that was a manageable side effect.

“If you came because you were worried, how about leaving for today?

For the sake of our friendly relationship, of course.”

“I did come because I was worried, but I’m not leaving.

I came today because I want to make up and go back to being friends like before.”

With that, Vivian silently began picking up the glass shards from the floor.

It was a familiar sight.

She muttered a spell and cleaned the floor completely, then walked to the balcony and opened the curtains.

Bright sunlight flooded the room.

Standing in that light, smiling faintly, she looked perfectly natural.

As if she belonged in the glow, as if she was meant to be beautiful and radiant, the light seemed to frame her like a halo.

Standing in front of her, it felt impossible to have any confidence in my appearance.

This wasn’t déjà vu—it was simply history repeating itself.

I must’ve been trembling back then too, unable to say anything, asking her to leave while she cleaned my room.

Now, I simply watched her elegant figure move about, cleaning up the mess in my space.

“So, should I call you Miss now?”

What had I answered back then?

“There’s no need to call me that anymore.”

Why had I said that?

Ah, right—because I had completely fallen apart.

“Didn’t you hear? What happened to my family?”

“Even so, you’re still Miss to me.

That’s the impression I got when I first met you.”

“Do you remember what I said when we first met?”

“I don’t remember.”

“I asked to be friends, and you nodded.”

If you say so.

Vivian started recounting good memories:

How I’d helped her when she first joined the academy. How Evan and I had explained difficult lessons to her. How we’d solved problems together.

But no matter how fondly she spoke of those days, I knew there was no going back.

Still, perhaps I could humor her—just for a moment.

“Do you want to be friends? Chat about silly things, share snacks, maybe sleep in the same room sometimes?

Forget all that’s happened, pretend none of it ever did?”

Vivian looked disappointed as I stood up.

“Well, why not. It’s not like pride will get me anywhere now.”

It wasn’t my place to worry about Vivian.

Everything was up to her.

As long as she didn’t bother me, didn’t hurt me, didn’t stop me, everything would be fine.

“I’ll make amends. I’m the lesser person here, after all.

I’m sorry for slapping you before, Vivian.”

“Oh, no, you don’t have to… that’s not what I…”

Cutting her off, I approached her and gave her a light hug.

Her startled fumbling came to an abrupt halt, and she let out a small, shaky gasp.

Leaning close to her ear, I whispered softly.

“I think I’d like to be alone now. Please leave, Vivian.”

Come to think of it, neither of us was really in a position to worry about the other.