episode_0016

What is dependency?

People unconsciously live by depending on something.

However, dependency is so excessive that it’s called a disease.

It is a very difficult disease to treat because the dependence is so severe that one cannot live without the object of dependence.

To put it simply, there was a question, “Since they’re dependent, can’t we just remove it?”

If you take away cigarettes from someone who smokes and tell them to quit, will they quit?

Instead, if it’s suddenly taken away, withdrawal symptoms will appear and the person will break down further.

Dependency is similar to that.

If the object of dependence suddenly disappears, the direction of dependence may shift strangely, or the disease may even worsen.

‘That’s why it’s difficult.’

Literally, if you start depending once, you can think of it as a train running endlessly.

You can slow the train down, but if you try to stop it suddenly, it could all be completely destroyed, so you have to be careful…

-Tight hold.

“Hmm…”

Freyfe was snuggling tightly into my arm and taking a nap before I knew it.

Seeing this, I could be sure.

Seeing how she kept sticking to me since last night, it definitely seemed like she was depending on me.

However, a different thought also came to mind.

Is Freyfe’s appearance of depending on me really bad?

Considering how Freyfe was rebellious and refused counseling, perhaps now is better.

Rather, if she depends on me, I might be able to easily handle her from now on.

‘Still, excessive dependence is dangerous.’

If dependence worsens, it will easily transform into obsession.

Rather, a contradiction might arise where one harms the object of dependence in order to depend.

Just as I planted love in Ai and controlled it, I’ll have to control Freyfe’s dependence.

I was afraid that if the dependence became too severe, it would become a great poison.

I was also worried that she might break down if the object of dependence, which is me… who only listens to my words, disappeared.

So.

“First, it seems like I need to help resolve her family issues.”

Dependency is important, but her family issues, which led to this situation, also concerned me.

Domestic violence is quite difficult for external intervention, so it was also hard to think about how to resolve it.

‘In the end, Freyfe’s will is important to break free from the cycle of domestic violence.’

“Hmm…”

“What should I really do?”

It’s like I can’t adapt to how a person suddenly changes drastically.

Still, I think it’s fortunate.

‘If she rather depends on me moderately like this, she’ll be more useful as a magical girl.’

Dependence is also ultimately a desire to be loved by someone, so it will be helpful to her.

That pure heart that wants to be loved and receive attention.

‘Maybe I should go to the bathroom first.’

A signal coming up from below.

I carefully pulled out the arm she was holding onto so that the sleeping Freyfe wouldn’t wake up and headed to the bathroom.

‘Since I’m up anyway, maybe I should smoke a cigarette?’

I might smell a bit, but ultimately this is like daily life.

Something that makes my hands shake if I don’t smoke, and makes things not go well.

-Knock knock.

Someone knocked on the bathroom door.

Freyfe? Is the bathroom perhaps urgent?

“H-hello, is someone inside…?”

“If it’s urgent, I’ll be out shortly.”

“No, it’s not… that. You suddenly disappeared, and… I’m sorry.”

‘This is serious.’

She was looking for me even though I was only gone for a moment, a very short moment?

It seemed dependency had hit harder than I expected, so I quickly came out of the bathroom.

“Ah…”

What I faced upon coming out of the bathroom was Freyfe sitting facing the door.

She was sitting there waiting quietly, hugging her knees.

Her dark expression gradually began to brighten as soon as our eyes met.

However, perhaps checking my reaction, Freyfe couldn’t readily get up and just looked up at me.

‘Is this not just ordinary dependency, but a result combined with affection deficiency?’

Her actions seemed stronger than those of ordinary dependency.

“Please get up first.”

“Yes…”

-Touch.

When I reached out my hand, only then did Freyfe crawl up from the floor.

“I thought you suddenly disappeared, and…”

“It’s okay. More importantly, Freyfe?”

“Yes, please speak.”

“I, I think I need to go out for a moment, could you wait?”

I asked just in case.

If she could be apart from me for a moment.

However, the answer didn’t come right away, and instead, Freyfe hesitated to answer, checking my reaction again.

“I… I’m going to smoke a cigarette… and Freyfe doesn’t smoke.”

“Oh, no, I’m used to the smoke. I’ll go with you! It’s… more comfortable to have someone to talk to than to smoke alone, right?”

“…Alright.”

For a non-smoker, the smell of cigarettes can be quite repulsive, but she would tolerate that.

Severe case.

In the end, Freyfe followed me outside and even came to the smoking booth.

“Keak, kek… Cough. Hmm.”

Freyfe grimaced at the acrid smell.

It seemed she was uncomfortable and wanted to leave right away, but she was trying her best to hold on by tightly grasping my arm.

‘Because of this, I feel like garbage.’

The gazes of the men who were already in the smoking booth were very subtle.

It was as if they were looking at us as…

‘Is this how one looks at a battered wife?’

Pitying glances were focused on Freyfe.

The gazes directed at me were like looking at a one-of-a-kind son of a bitch.

Because of the glares, I had to finish quickly and leave the smoking booth.

Unlike inside the smoking booth, the fresh air greeted us.

“Huu… Hmm, hmm!”

Freyfe, finding the fresh air pleasant, was regaining her smile.

Keeping her arm linked, she pressed her body even closer.

‘Her physical contact is too natural.’

Unlike Ai, Freyfe seemed to have no boundaries when it came to physical contact.

Although it has progressed to kissing now, Ai still increased the level of physical contact step by step.

But Freyfe is something else.

As if it had been like that from the beginning. She very naturally wrapped her arm around mine and slept in the same bed.

In a way, it seemed like she didn’t know the common feelings of physical contact due to her dependency.

‘I should talk to her soon.’

I had smoked a cigarette, and my head was working clearly to some extent, so it seemed like it was time to untangle the complicated matters.

“Freyfe.”

“Yes, Counselor.”

“Freyfe, how long are you planning to stay here?”

“Huh?”

Isn’t that obvious?

Freyfe and I are not in any kind of relationship.

The charge and the counselor.

Since we’re not in a relationship beyond that, it’s strange for us to be in the same house like this.

Freyfe was surprised even by such an obvious statement.

“Did I perhaps do something wrong…? No, if something bothered you, I’ll fix it.”

“No, that’s not it.”

“Did you perhaps… not like breakfast? If you just tell me what you want to eat…”

“Freyfe.”

Freyfe became even more flustered, and tears gradually welled up in her eyes.

She let go of my linked arm and grabbed my hand with both of hers as if begging.

“I, I, I’m good at housework. I’m good at many things… Perhaps. If you don’t need that and want something else, I’ll match everything for you.”

“Freyfe.”

“If you perhaps want my body, right now…”

‘Her mental state is too unstable.’

Dependency is not the problem.

Freyfe’s mental state was so unstable that it wouldn’t be strange if she had a mental breakdown soon.

It was to the extent that I wondered how she had managed to endure until now.

I stopped Freyfe, who was about to take off her clothes right away, and looked into her eyes.

Her eyes, red-rimmed from tears and heated to a light pink.

Separate from that, with her pale face, I wiped away her tears as if comforting her and spoke.

“Freyfe, you don’t originally live in this house, do you? Don’t you have a home to return to?”

“Ah, th-that, I, I do have a home, but…”

“I know the situation makes it very awkward for you to go home. But you can’t keep staying here, can you?”

Freyfe also seemed to face reality to some extent and began to stutter and become nervous.

Since she doesn’t seem able to answer, perhaps I should propose a path first.

“If going home is awkward for you, how about living independently?”

“Independently?”

“Yes, if returning home is awkward, I thought living independently might be an option. There was a good policy related to housing among the magical girl support policies…”

“I don’t want to.”

“Huh?”

“I don’t want to be alone again… I don’t want to be lonely at home.”

This is unexpected.

Then there’s only one conclusion left.

What Freyfe wants is not independence or escaping domestic violence in the end.

That she dislikes being lonely and wants a home full of warmth must mean she wants to maintain living together with me.

‘Is there a solution for this?’

Even if there’s a solution, it might really only be living together.

What if I forcibly separate her from here?

There’s no guarantee that the dependency will get better.

Rather, her usual mental state might become even more unstable.

“Counselor.”

Freyfe looked up at me, holding back tears.

It seemed I had no choice but to decide.

Whether to kick her out like this or accept that whim.

***

Before entering the room, I took a deep breath again.

Yeonwoo, let’s not be nervous.

This isn’t the first time for you.

If you get caught with this matter, you’re finished.

After organizing my thoughts in my mind, I took out perfume from my pocket.

Before counseling with Ai, I sprayed it on my body to remove body odor.

-Creak.

Only then could I open the door and go in.

“Counselor Oppa!”

“As expected, you came early today, Ai.”

Ai smiling brightly as she looked at me.

Guilt along with tension began to rise on that face.

I must absolutely not be caught by Ai.

‘The moment the fact that I’m living with Freyfe is revealed, it’s over.’

I couldn’t leave Freyfe, who had developed dependency, so we ended up living together.

The problem is that Ai still doesn’t know about that cohabitation, which is the biggest problem.

‘Oh God, please help me just this once.’

Haven’t you reached the time to grant one prayer?