episode_0050

That day marked the anniversary of the only two family members left.

Even though the bond between us seemed loosely stitched like a needle, it was undoubtedly the day when my family had departed.

I sometimes inflated warm fantasies, wondering if my father would be someone like Roderick.

If I had a younger sister, I imagined she would be a cute child like Estelle.

Although I never expressed my fears of discomfort outwardly, that’s what I thought. Regardless of how Roderick and Estelle viewed me, at least we were an irreplaceable family.

Back then, I didn’t know. I didn’t realize that the past I had envisioned was actually a daily life that should be called happiness.

I miss it.

I desperately want to see them again.

If only I could turn back time, I would never let them slip away.

I would listen to Roderick’s words more attentively, accept all of Estelle’s flattery, and express my feelings more honestly.

Insight always comes after losing something. And insight comes with regret, tormenting me. The settled regret is like a scar engraved on my heart, stabbing relentlessly when I close my eyes.

“Living so shamelessly.”

Instead of those two, the child of a discarded parent who had earned the world’s hatred breathes openly, saying it’s unfair.

The root of all misfortunes was your very existence, they scold.

It was a fitting reprimand.

I had no words to refute.

Wasn’t it actually true?

From the beginning, it was the love of a man and a woman that persecuted people. I was born, absorbing the curses and hatred of many people. Perhaps I was cursed from birth. A curse filled with a desire never to be happy, carrying the misfortunes of others throughout my life.

It was a curse so cleverly crafted. If it had been a curse to die, it would never have come true.

I was born with that power, but the world around me couldn’t do the same.

As a result, it was always others who were hurt because of my existence.

Because of the curse on me, my loved ones became unhappy.

Then one day, when I was in despair, a shining miracle descended upon me.

The miracle’s name was – Lashera Luahte Hujak Yeongae.

She became the reason for my empty existence.

While I was absorbed in Roderick and Estelle’s blood feud, she approached me with patience. It was merely an alliance for a purpose… but I became convinced that if she stayed by my side, I could even give up revenge.

… Perhaps it was because I pushed her away so forcefully.

By the time I needed her, Lashera’s heart had already drifted away.

I could do anything to hold onto that drifting heart. So I obediently followed anything Lashera said, to ensure her full attention stayed on me.

I hid my intense emotions as much as possible, even if it meant blushing in front of another man.

After all, I had no right to do so in the first place.

… Yes. That’s how it was until that day.

That day marked the anniversary of the only two family members left.

It was also the day I encountered the truth that cruelly distorted my wretched world.

◇

A morning with snow gently piled up.

In the forest filled with evergreen trees, Rahilt knelt in front of the modest tombstone.

I watched Rahilt, who entrusted himself to the snow-covered field, where the cold was dominant. I lingered beside him, looking endlessly empty.

Although I yearned to embrace him tightly, the intangible apparition did not allow any contact.

The clear void visible to the eye made my heart ache. Rahilt hesitantly touched the tombstone with trembling hands. Then, as if unable to make up his mind, he repeated the motion of wiping away the dry snow.

I couldn’t bear the sharp conflict any longer. I clenched my fists tightly, holding onto that anguish, and crouched down to Rahilt’s eye level.

His golden hair, which seemed to have gathered all the world’s wealth and glory, swayed in the breeze. Even the breeze couldn’t conceal his intense, labored breath. Even though his face was not visible, it was clear that his complex emotions were escalating.

“Rian…”

He called out his name, knowing full well it would never reach him.

“So much has truly changed between us.”

Indeed, our fate had undergone a massive shift. Especially with Rahilt now in conflict with Roderick and Estelle’s graves.

The conflict began just moments ago.

It all started with the Empress, who had visited Roderick and Estelle’s graves alone.

“Why are you here…?”

…

The Empress expressed her surprise to Rahilt. She had no idea about the relationship between Rahilt and Roderick.

As a former imperial consort who had made her debut in high society, Rahilt had erased all traces of his past as a mercenary named Richard, so it was natural.

“Why are you… here?”

“This is where my friend is buried.”

Therefore, his father and the Empress had no idea why Rahilt harbored such hatred towards the royal family.

They simply accepted that he despised the royal family because he had been persecuted as a discarded child in his youth.

“Friend… you say?”

“It’s a connection from when I was still a young prince.”

It was said that the Empress and Roderick had known each other for a long time. And I had been watching this from my previous life, but I had no idea.

Could it be that Roderick was actually the Empress’s informant?

The informant from the other world who had helped elevate my father to the throne had been none other than him.

According to the descriptions, besides the financial gains, he had developed a strange fondness for the Empress, which made him even more cooperative.

Like in all clichés, the relationship between the reincarnated female lead and the confident male lead was gradually becoming more appealing. In other words, the master craftsman was actually the Empress’s supporting male lead.

I never realized it because he only pretended to be of a fake status throughout the story.

“Why have you come looking for my friend?”

“… Because the man you call a friend is my father.”

“What?”

The Empress couldn’t help but doubt her ears.

Everyone in the empire knew who Rahilt’s father was. Even the most beautiful couple in the empire had borne him, so no one doubted it.

When Rahilt’s explanation was added, the Empress quietly nodded.

“Estelle buried next to him was my only younger sister. That’s how we, including Roderick, were a family.”

…

Rahilt’s past story unfolded in front of the Empress.

As the story progressed, Rahilt seemed to be getting more and more emotional.

Like a child confiding in a warm adult, his childhood seeped through his lips into the winter forest.

After a while, Rahilt concluded the story with a declaration.

“You killed that person.”

“You?”

“You killed the man I call a friend, and yet you have the audacity to come here to his grave.”

Rahilt looked around, then approached with a trembling hand that was as terrifying as it was trembling.

“You have three guards. Perfect number for a massacre.”

…

“May you know the feeling of being buried in the cold ground as well.”

The sound of snow crunching underfoot spread throughout the winter forest. The tranquility of the sound stirred the beauty of the forest. It felt as if an unexpected action had emerged out of fear.

Thud.

It was when Rahilt reached his mother’s presence.

A small branch snapped beneath his shoe.

Immediately after, his mother calmly spoke.

“Wait.”

The attitude of a woman on the brink of losing her life due to danger was simply unbelievable. In her calm and composed tone, there was no hint of desperation or weakness.

“It seems there is a misunderstanding.”

“A misunderstanding?”

“It wasn’t the royal family who killed Roderick. Rather, I wonder why we had to kill Roderick and Eleanor.”

“…With the mercenary group growing in power, it must have been a concern for the royal family.”

His mother chuckled at Rahilt’s response, as if she had heard an incomprehensible statement.

“What a strange logic. Why would I, whose husband is who he is, care about a mercenary group?”

“He is the emperor, after all…”

“Yes, he is the emperor. A man who conquered a nation single-handedly, despite being a loser of the continent.”

“…”

“Even if such a renowned person were to use petty tricks against a mercenary group? Why bother? I have no motivation for that either.”

His mother slowly rose to her feet and continued speaking.

“I thought it was inevitable for you to hate us because you were the child of a concubine. But if the tragedy that Roderick and Eleanor faced was the cause of hatred… then it seems we have targeted the wrong enemy.”

“I find that hard to believe…”

“If that is indeed the case, perhaps you should first suspect those whose eyes are clouded. Of course, if it is hatred stemming from the persecution you faced in your youth, then I will certainly understand.”

Rahilt never harbored resentment for his dark childhood. If he had, he would not have been treated kindly by me.

Rahilt’s revenge was solely aimed at the downfall of Roderick and Estelle.

“Roderick was an exceptional assassin. He may have left you with information in some form.”

“Information… you say.”

“I cannot say for sure, but as your family, you may be able to figure it out.”

“…”

“I enjoyed our honest conversation. I shall take my leave now. Whatever decision you make in the future, I will accept my fate.”

Rahilt clenched his jaw. His mother seemed to take her silence as a form of agreement and passed by Rahilt without a word.

As her presence completely disappeared, Rahilt stood alone in front of the graves of Roderick and Estelle for a long time.

Eventually, he brought his trembling hand to the grave.

The time for the hideous truth buried in darkness to be revealed was fast approaching.